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[AdventureRacing]

Trab don't get discouraged. We all go through ruts like that. You're an attractive women and you seem like a pretty cool person, you'll find someone soon enough. It sounds like you're doing the right things, just got to keep putting yourself out there.

I think I do need to message her and say there is things I need to say to her and it would be best to do it in person. After I say them whether she decides to talk about things with me or we just say goodbye, it will allow me to get everything off my chest and move on. If she doesn't respond to my text within a day or still refuses, I will erase everything involving.

This is pretty much always a terrible idea. It just drags things out and makes them worse and you still won't have the closure you wanted.

If she did a complete 180, I'd want us to talk about the things that caused the initial split so we could see if we can fix them. I've been trying to get together with her so we can talk about our problems and try to fix them. The frustrating thing is for some reason she is scared of sitting down and trying to find ways to fix our problems, preferring to run away and not try dealing with the issues.

To me it just sounds like you're desperate to get back with her and she doesn't think it's worth it. Maybe the reason she doesn't want to meet up is because she knows you're trying to get back with her and doesn't want it.

It really just sounds like you need to move on.

 

[forknknife]

I was on okc too... for several weeks, I don't know exactly.
and I don't think online dating will ever work (for me). in my opinion physical attraction is the key to dating, and you can only determine this kind of stuff face to face. not talking about superficial shit but rather the famous "spark"...genetic compatibility...chemistry...whatever you want to call it.
also I run out of interesting guys very quickly (just like in real life, so what's the point)

Oh, really? it would have been funny to see you there
Well, I can imagine you can get tired of it if like 90% of the guys there don't interest you at all but at the same time I think you might miss some chances if you close that door.

 

[youngwerther]

I can't figure this girl out man.
Can't tell if she likes me and wants me to go after her, or if she just wants me to like her for her own benefit.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

Landed a job in Philly finally, am in the process of getting a car. So that's a plus towards looking to be stable enough to date ladies. Buuut then again, I'm already thinking about where I want to move next.

I'm just never really in a stable spot to date. I know 90% of it is my own doing, and I have mixed emotions about it all.

Ah well.

 

[Minamu]

Unstable = unpredictable = sexy and interesting. You could have a super model right now while looking and living like a bum if you believed it.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

Unstable = unpredictable = sexy and interesting. You could have a super model right now while looking and living like a bum if you believed it.

Lol, I always figured I'd live out my days being a handsome drifter...

 

[TCRS]

I was on okc too... for several weeks, I don't know exactly.
and I don't think online dating will ever work (for me). in my opinion physical attraction is the key to dating, and you can only determine this kind of stuff face to face. not talking about superficial shit but rather the famous "spark"...genetic compatibility...chemistry...whatever you want to call it.
also I run out of interesting guys very quickly (just like in real life, so what's the point)

I saw you there. I was scrolling through there and suddenly I saw your pic, I thought I've seen her somwhere. BAM it's trab. Mine is a fake account though that I created to help a friend, did not mean to creep.

Needless to say my advice was useless and nothing happend.

 

[trab pu kcip]

I saw you there. I was scrolling through there and suddenly I saw your pic, I thought I've seen her somwhere. BAM it's trab. Mine is a fake account though that I created to help a friend, did not mean to creep.

Needless to say my advice was useless and nothing happend.

hahah. I also met another gaffer there. out of all the people...
GAF is taking over the internet.

 

[Minamu]

Lol, I always figured I'd live out my days being a handsome drifter...

It could be the subtitle for the inevitable reboot of Rambo

 

[Minus_Me]

hmm mainly at university, during/ after a lecture or a seminar for example. I know that not exactly the sexiest environment to begin with but I spend most of my time/meet most people there.
also when going out of course, but I don't usually go clubbing or partying in the traditional sense, so that basically resorts to going to a smaller gig or something.

Damn, I was gonna say that method works much better in less noisy areas like the ones you mentioned. I met my gf at a vernissage when she gave me several glances/smiles and I walked up and started a conversation. Were going on four plus years now so the method works in my opinion. Its possible that people are too shy but success does happen no doubt. Your opinion on online dating is also shared by me and the gf but it can be a good way to meet people regardless if a persons option are limited.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

I crafted a text message that I might send to B, asking that she meet me so I can say all the things I want to say to her and give me the chance to say a proper goodbye. I'm going to sleep on it tonight and then see if I still want to send it in the morning.

 

[youngwerther]

We were leaving class today and I didn't wait around for her. It was super cold outside and I was walking with some guy and talking.
I looked across the courtyard and saw her walking fast towards the parking garage with her arms wrapped around her, and then she looked back and looked at me for a few seconds and then smiled really big.

I'm ruined for the rest of the day.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I crafted a text message that I might send to B, asking that she meet me so I can say all the things I want to say to her and give me the chance to say a proper goodbye. I'm going to sleep on it tonight and then see if I still want to send it in the morning.

NOPE.

She's over you, dude. If she wasn't, you wouldn't have to convince her.

 

[youngwerther]

I crafted a text message that I might send to B, asking that she meet me so I can say all the things I want to say to her and give me the chance to say a proper goodbye. I'm going to sleep on it tonight and then see if I still want to send it in the morning.

A lot of the times I find it difficult to offer my thoughts to others in this thread because

A) I don't know the full story
B) I don't have much experience
C) The things that I tell others to do are usually FAR easier said than done

But all that said, I must say, sending her that sounds like a bad idea.
Not as in "bad idea because something bad is going to happen"
But more like "bad idea because you are debasing yourself"


If you have to text a chick and hope she will meet up with you just because you want to have a "proper goodbye", then it is so over that there really is no point in meeting up at all.
And I suspect that, perhaps even subconsciously, the real reason you want to meet up with her is because you are hoping that if she says yes, something will come out of it.

 

[NeOak]

NOPE.

She's over you, dude. If she wasn't, you wouldn't have to convince her.

This x10000000000 times.

Don't. Please keep your dignity.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

I crafted a text message that I might send to B, asking that she meet me so I can say all the things I want to say to her and give me the chance to say a proper goodbye. I'm going to sleep on it tonight and then see if I still want to send it in the morning.

Don't do it. Just move on.

We were leaving class today and I didn't wait around for her. It was super cold outside and I was walking with some guy and talking.
I looked across the courtyard and saw her walking fast towards the parking garage with her arms wrapped around her, and then she looked back and looked at me for a few seconds and then smiled really big.

I'm ruined for the rest of the day.

Go for it man. Just ask her out or something.

It could be the subtitle for the inevitable reboot of Rambo

Lol.

 

[youngwerther]

Go for it man. Just ask her out or something.

Yea I know. I guess after today I finally know that I must ask.

It's just that she's really freaking hot, has tons of friends, and a very active social life, so I don't know how to ask her out. I guess I feel like I almost can't. I never ask any girls out, much less a girl like her. She's an easy 9/10 and could get any guy on campus. I see the way other guys flirt with her (there are many) and I'm wondering how I compete.

I know it's lame to think this way, but I just don't think I'm on her level.
I'll probably ask but only after I work myself into some kind of maniacal frenzy.

The other day after class she was talking about how hungry she was and it almost seemed like she was trying to bait me into asking her to go grab something to eat, but I had to meet with someone so I didn't.

She's coming over to my apartment on Sunday so maybe I'll ask her after we get done with our work if she wants to go grab something.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

Yea I know. I guess after today I finally know that I must ask.

It's just that she's really freaking hot, has tons of friends, and a very active social life, so I don't know how to ask her out. I guess I feel like I almost can't. I never ask any girls out, much less a girl like her. She's an easy 9/10 and could get any guy on campus. I see the way other guys flirt with her (there are many) and I'm wondering how I compete.

I know it's lame to think this way, but I just don't think I'm on her level.
I'll probably ask but only after I work myself into some kind of maniacal frenzy.

The other day after class she was talking about how hungry she was and it almost seemed like she was trying to bait me into asking her to go grab something to eat, but I had to meet with someone so I didn't.

She's coming over to my apartment on Sunday so maybe I'll ask her after we get done with our work if she wants to go grab something.

Lol ranking how hot a lady is doesn't really mean anything. I've seen lotsa girls date some ugly fellas. If you got a good personality, and can make her laugh that goes a lot father than looks.

Idk about the frenzy stuff, just ask her out. Don't overthink it, just ask and see where it goes.

Anyways, Go for it, come back here with a good success story about it and make the rest of the folks on here feel good hahahaha

 

[youngwerther]

I don't think I'd say I'm ugly, but she's just very attractive.

As far as being amusing goes, yeah, I've noticed I need to work on that.
We sometimes talk about amusing things but I don't make her laugh that much because we mostly talk about our classes.

When I first approached her we talked about classes because I was playing it safe, but now I've sort of trapped myself into that mold and I find that is pretty much all we talk about.

I almost always do this with girls I meet at school.

It's really lame and it's gonna be a hurdle breaking out of that.

I'm very introverted and kind of a loner, so in terms of American dating, no, I do not have a good personality.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

I don't think I'd say I'm ugly, but she's just very attractive.

As far as being amusing goes, yeah, I've noticed I need to work on that.
We sometimes talk about amusing things but I don't make her laugh that much because we mostly talk about our classes.

When I first approached her we talked about classes because I was playing it safe, but now I've sort of trapped myself into that mold and I find that is pretty much all we talk about.

I almost always do this with girls I meet at school.

It's really lame and it's gonna be a hurdle breaking out of that.

It's no thing. You got this dawg!

 

[beat]

Go for it man. Just ask her out or something.

Or, and this is just a suggestion, he could wait around a few more months until she's definitely dating someone else, then complain about it. Just ask yourselves: what would GAF-man do?

 

[youngwerther]

Do not be mean to me.

 

[beat]

Do not be mean to me.

I'm yelling at me from a few months ago more than I am anyone else.

 

[youngwerther]

I suppose it would be preferable to crash and burn before a similar fate befalls me.
After all, impossible attraction to a taken women was the downfall of the titular character of the novel from which my username derives.

I've known her several months and she has yet to mention a boyfriend or any other guy, so hopefully she's single. I'm almost certain that she wouldn't have come to my apartment the other week if she had a boyfriend.

She went out of her way to walk me to the bus the other day. It was nice.

Oh God, I caught myself before I started sappily gushing about why I like her.

It is difficult to imagine how she doesn't have a boyfriend though, unless of course she simply doesn't desire one.


Speaking of other guys though, she does sit next to some guy in Physics that has tried to trip me up on two occasions and rudely pushes past me in hallways.
Lol.

 

[NeOak]

I suppose it would be preferable to crash and burn before a similar fate befalls me.
After all, impossible attraction to a taken women was the downfall of the titular character of the novel from which my username derives.

I've known her several months and she has yet to mention a boyfriend or any other guy, so hopefully she's single. I'm almost certain that she wouldn't have come to my apartment the other week if she had a boyfriend.

She went out of her way to walk me to the bus the other day. It was nice.

Oh God, I caught myself before I started sappily gushing about why I like her.

It is difficult to imagine how she doesn't have a boyfriend though, unless of course she simply doesn't desire one.


Speaking of other guys though, she does sit next to some guy in Physics that has tried to trip me up on two occasions and rudely pushes past me in hallways.
Lol.

Dude. Relax. I know it's easier said than done but please try.

And lol at the dude. He does that because he thinks you are ahead lmao.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

The levels of over thinking that go on in this thread are just stunning. I know asking someone out means putting yourself out there and risking things, but at some point at least it gets you out of the limbo that you're stuck in. Sitting in this gray zone, trying to analyze everything a girl is thinking and doing is not very conducive to getting anywhere with her. If you ask her out, and she says no, at least you know where you stand. On the other hand, she just might say yes!

 

[rokkerkory]

Been going strong with me and the misses for tad over a year now but the real kicker is that we are 3000 miles apart and see each other once a month. It gives us time to focus on our careers and goals but at the same time makes us miss each other dearly.

 

[DyTonic]

I found out this girl had 3 relationships in a year. Should I even take her serious.. lol

 

[hydrophilic attack]

So, I should have listened to you and not tried contacting her again.

Anyway, aside from obliterating any traces of her from my phone I now also put in the web page where I can find her number into my LeechBlock filter, so I won't do the same mistake again.

Now, I'm gonna play some videogames.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

For dating GAF, let's say you go all the way on one of your dates, and you find out the girl you're with doesn't take or doesn't believe in birth control? She's fine with condoms though.

For me, I don't think I could comfortably have sex without knowing she's on some form of bc. I mean, I generally cannot tell if the condom has broken when she's all wet, and I've heard too many stories of being wrapped and a girl getting pregnant.

What's your opinion on this? Do you go through with it anyway trusting your pull out skills with the rubber on, or would you only go for it if she's on BC?

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

I didn't send that text message this morning after sleeping on it. I still haven't deleted her number or unfriended her on Facebook yet.

 

[JohnDoe]

I found out this girl had 3 relationships in a year. Should I even take her serious.. lol

With that attitude towards her you shouldn't.

 

[SquiddyCracker]

For dating GAF, let's say you go all the way on one of your dates, and you find out the girl you're with doesn't take or doesn't believe in birth control? She's fine with condoms though.

For me, I don't think I could comfortably have sex without knowing she's on some form of bc. I mean, I generally cannot tell if the condom has broken when she's all wet, and I've heard too many stories of being wrapped and a girl getting pregnant.

What's your opinion on this? Do you go through with it anyway trusting your pull out skills with the rubber on, or would you only go for it if she's on BC?

Yeah, that's a big no-no even with the relatively low failure rates of condoms.
I don't want to be put in a position where I have to ask someone to get an abortion as it is a pretty horrible thing to ask of someone who might not be keen on getting one.

I didn't send that text message this morning after sleeping on it. I still haven't deleted her number or unfriended her on Facebook yet.

Take those final two steps, it seems like that's what you want to do and you're posting here for reassurance that it's the right thing.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

I found out this girl had 3 relationships in a year. Should I even take her serious.. lol

Really? Why wouldn't you?

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

For dating GAF, let's say you go all the way on one of your dates, and you find out the girl you're with doesn't take or doesn't believe in birth control? She's fine with condoms though.

For me, I don't think I could comfortably have sex without knowing she's on some form of bc. I mean, I generally cannot tell if the condom has broken when she's all wet, and I've heard too many stories of being wrapped and a girl getting pregnant.

What's your opinion on this? Do you go through with it anyway trusting your pull out skills with the rubber on, or would you only go for it if she's on BC?

Condoms have a relatively low failure rate provided you're not using cheap ones that you get from Planned Parenthood or something. I've never, ever, had one break on me and I'm older and have been using them since I was a teenager.

It is actually surprising to me how many women actually hate condoms. The last 4 or 5 women I've dated have been really adverse to using them, which is fine by me. They've always taken care of the birth control and have shuddered at the suggestion of condoms.

 

[freshair]

For dating GAF, let's say you go all the way on one of your dates, and you find out the girl you're with doesn't take or doesn't believe in birth control? She's fine with condoms though.

What's your opinion on this? Do you go through with it anyway trusting your pull out skills with the rubber on, or would you only go for it if she's on BC?

I want to say that I'd only be comfortable if there was a dual layer protection of BC + condom, but based on my history it doesn't really matter. (as far as dating/hook ups go. Once we're in a relationship it's condem-less)

So condoms mandatory, BC optional (but preferred) would be my answer.

Did she say why she doesn't take / believe in BC?

 

[depths20XX]

Condoms suck, and they smell bad, and they feel bad, and I had one rip on me when I was like 18.

 

[gimz]

So i kinda just not care too much on the texts with this girl this week (one of the reason is i really can't cuz my work have been super busy)
and in return this girl seems to want to keep in touch and she suggested we should meet up sometimes soon
which it will be the second time i see her, it will be fun

 

[zeemumu]

Aside from dating site users, do most of you end up getting into relationships when you WEREN'T looking for a possible girlfriend or when you were? I think I know what the answer is but I'm curious to know the feedback.

 

[NeOak]

I didn't send that text message this morning after sleeping on it. I still haven't deleted her number or unfriended her on Facebook yet.

What are you waiting for to block her and delete her number?

 

[freshair]

Aside from dating site users, do most of you end up getting into relationships when you WEREN'T looking for a possible girlfriend or when you were? I think I know what the answer is but I'm curious to know the feedback.

When I was looking I got into a relationship from a girl on OKC.

After that ended and I wasn't really looking, I reconnected with someone from HS out of the blue and that ended up being something.

Then that ended and now I'm not actively looking.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

For dating GAF, let's say you go all the way on one of your dates, and you find out the girl you're with doesn't take or doesn't believe in birth control? She's fine with condoms though.

For me, I don't think I could comfortably have sex without knowing she's on some form of bc. I mean, I generally cannot tell if the condom has broken when she's all wet, and I've heard too many stories of being wrapped and a girl getting pregnant.

What's your opinion on this? Do you go through with it anyway trusting your pull out skills with the rubber on, or would you only go for it if she's on BC?

You really pull out with condoms? That's the point of them.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

Aside from dating site users, do most of you end up getting into relationships when you WEREN'T looking for a possible girlfriend or when you were? I think I know what the answer is but I'm curious to know the feedback.

Most of my best relationships have happened when I'm not actively looking.

 

[gimz]

I think I do need to message her and say there is things I need to say to her and it would be best to do it in person. After I say them whether she decides to talk about things with me or we just say goodbye, it will allow me to get everything off my chest and move on. If she doesn't respond to my text within a day or still refuses, I will erase everything involving.

send her a letter man send her a letter, she will contact you if she feels like after reading the letter, or she won't, but at least you get things off your chest and you can move on.

I don't know if its just me, i can probably express my feeling more on paper than verbally, especially when you have to talk to someone special

 

[DyTonic]

I have no problem with her being in 3 relationships in a year, but that type of speed dating is dangerous when feelings are involved.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

I have no problem with her being in 3 relationships in a year, but that type of speed dating is dangerous when feelings are involved.

3-4 month relationships are speed dating? That isn't true for anyone except the very inexperienced.

I suspect you'd also be this insecure if she had slept with 20 or 30 guys instead of dating three. You can't have it both ways.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

I have no problem with her being in 3 relationships in a year, but that type of speed dating is dangerous when feelings are involved.

I'm cracking up at 3 relationships in a year being speed dating.

 

[hydragonwarrior]

Thanks for the straight up answers so far guys, I'll do a Reply thing in a bit (swamped with work on a Friday ugh)

 

[Leeness]

I didn't send that text message this morning after sleeping on it. I still haven't deleted her number or unfriended her on Facebook yet.

Get 'er done man. You'll be okay.

 

[DyTonic]

I'm cracking up at 3 relationships in a year being speed dating.

Within 2 month spans^ I just find her sketchy for that and eager to find love.