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[EviLore]

Speed dating. :lol

 

[Servbot24]

Within 2 month spans^ I just find her sketchy for that and eager to find love.

What's wrong with wanting to find love? In fact why would you be interested in her if she didn't want love?



Me and the girl I met Monday are still texting. She'll be busy til next weekend but said we should hang out then. I'm not expecting much of this, just because she's a bit too good to be true. We're talking about anime and video games one day and fitness routines the next. Still, nice distraction from getting dumped last month while it lasts.

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Within 2 month spans^ I just find her sketchy for that and eager to find love.

You really can't be judging people for their past like this. This is really bad. All that should ever matter is if the girl likes you now.

 

[Kano on the Phone]

Within 2 month spans^ I just find her sketchy for that and eager to find love.

Wait, what? You want to date someone but you're excluding them because...they've been dating? You want love and yet she better not really be looking for it?

I think you definitely should stay away from this girl and not at all for the reasons you think.

You really can't be judging people for their past like this. This is really bad. All that should ever matter is if the girl likes you now.

This. I don't understand when guys are that intimidated by other guys. Every woman you're going to date with an exception of maybe very few of them will have fucked/kissed/dated/loved other guys. Who gives a shit? Isn't it more peace of mind to know that you're the best out of 100 than the best out of 2?

 

[Log4Girlz]

My limit is three dates within a decade. Sorry ladies, but your desperation puts me off.

 

[beat]

send her a letter man send her a letter, she will contact you if she feels like after reading the letter, or she won't, but at least you get things off your chest and you can move on.

I think I'd say in Mortimer Brewster's case, write the letter but don't send it. You will feel better to write it down, but the details you've given us so far, it probably won't help you to send it to her.

But hey, I could easily be wrong.

 

[forknknife]

What's wrong with wanting to find love? In fact why would you be interested in her if she didn't want love?



Me and the girl I met Monday are still texting. She'll be busy til next weekend but said we should hang out then. I'm not expecting much of this, just because she's a bit too good to be true. We're talking about anime and video games one day and fitness routines the next. Still, nice distraction from getting dumped last month while it lasts.

She seems very compatible with you, why call he a simple distraction?

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

I think I'd say in Mortimer Brewster's case, write the letter but don't send it. You will feel better to write it down, but the details you've given us so far, it probably won't help you to send it to her.

But hey, I could easily be wrong.

At this point if I send the message I have written, it would be for my own catharsis. I don't expect it will change anything or get her to meet me. But, it would allow me to say, I gave it my all and tried every avenue to try and fix things. So I would be able to say I have no regrets over everything. It would be a part of my process of moving on. And in the 0.00000000001 chance that she says she wants to meet, I'd cross that bridge if I got there.

 

[Servbot24]

She seems very compatible with you, why call he a simple distraction?

Only because I'm too cynical at the moment to hope for things to go anywhere. Would be great if they did though!

 

[bobs...onGaf]

Ah just venting - I don't know where I'm going with this but the last two girls I liked and got really close with both cut me pretty deep. This year has had serious highs but I'm sitting on a pretty shitty low.

Love/ lust whichever it is sucks man.

 

[zeemumu]

How do most of you connect with the people that you ask out? I feel like I'm missing something.

 

[TylerD]

I think I'd say in Mortimer Brewster's case, write the letter but don't send it. You will feel better to write it down, but the details you've given us so far, it probably won't help you to send it to her.

But hey, I could easily be wrong.

Here is my apology letter that I don't plan on sending! She did say not to contact her again.

I’m so sorry for sending you this pathetic text and for everything that followed that night...

“You are right you are a bad liar… good luck with online dating.”

With one text, I set off a chain reaction that I couldn’t stop. That text, I sent because I was disappointed and frustrated with how our proposed date night went only because I wanted to spend more time with you. The only thing I wanted was more time getting to know and talking to you.

What I said and did was passive aggressive, immature, and totally unacceptable. It was idiotic, I can’t defend it and am ashamed of myself for it. I could tell you were tired and I even told myself walking to my apartment that I wasn’t going to get online because it didn’t matter. But I did… I saw you on OKCupid after not responding to my first text and I got jealous and everything just went to hell. I just felt completely numb after sending it and watching what was unfolding on my phone screen. If only I had just gone to sleep.

I did an exceedingly poor job managing my feelings and went looking for advice when I should have just paid more attention to the signs in front of me. My biggest concern was that you would lose interest. I could picture you talking to your friends saying, “He came over again, and didn’t try anything.” In reality, that was asinine. My feelings blinded my common sense and prevented me from seeing that you DID want to see me.

I destroyed something that I think, could have been very special.

If at any time you felt the same, I’m so very sorry to have disappointed you. I only wish that I would have had the opportunity to date and grow more here in (town) before being blindsided by you and maybe I could have handled things better. I just wasn’t ready but am grateful that I met you and for the time we spent together.

 

[Minamu]

Aside from dating site users, do most of you end up getting into relationships when you WEREN'T looking for a possible girlfriend or when you were? I think I know what the answer is but I'm curious to know the feedback.

Cliches are cliches for a reason. Most stuff happen when you're not actively looking/pursuing them.

 

[The Artful Dodger]

How do most of you connect with the people that you ask out? I feel like I'm missing something.

Say something like "Hey you got a pretty face and don't seem stupid. We should go out sometime."

 

[Leeness]

Tyler and Mortimer: I know it's super tough to give up someone you connected with so well, but just do it instead of stewing and creating more negative emotions over it. (I think Tyler has though).

The guy who stopped speaking to me in March was so so hard for me to let go of because he is, very literally, one of the only men I've ever connected with positively in my life other than family or other friends' boyfriends.

But I finally deleted everything associated with him and now he's just a fond memory. I still think about him a lot but it's nice now.

So...just delete and get it done and hopefully you can look back on it with fondness instead of bitterness, but that won't happen if you keep on with the negative stuff.

 

[EviLore]

Most stuff happen when you're not actively looking/pursuing them.

There's a difference between not looking and not projecting thirst. "Not looking" when you're a shy internet nerd posting on Dating-Age on NeoGAF is probably going to mean locking up around women who make eye contact with you and going home to jerk off.

No. Don't not look. Go places, meet people, go to parties and events and activities as much as you can, and engage with men and women alike. Train yourself to be cool, treat women like the regular human beings they are and be able to have relaxed conversations, but flirt and smile and tease and send signals at the girls you're interested in. Without needing them to like you, to say yes, to give a shit, or to do anything else, and without treating them like either sex objects or princesses.

 

[TylerD]

Tyler and Mortimer: I know it's super tough to give up someone you connected with so well, but just do it instead of stewing and creating more negative emotions over it. (I think Tyler has though).

The guy who stopped speaking to me in March was so so hard for me to let go of because he is, very literally, one of the only men I've ever connected with positively in my life other than family or other friends' boyfriends.

But I finally deleted everything associated with him and now he's just a fond memory. I still think about him a lot but it's nice now.

So...just delete and get it done and hopefully you can look back on it with fondness instead of bitterness, but that won't happen if you keep on with the negative stuff.

Yeah, I am not going to do anything but at the same time am not ready to try to go on any other dates right now. I went on 3 during the times we weren't seeing each other and it felt like a waste of time.

She told me not to contact her and I won't. I am confident that I am one of her better guy experiences based on what she told me about her past. I do want to be a fond memory of hers and am disappointed I didn't get an opportunity to apologize.

She deactivated her OKC account earlier this week. I hope she finds happiness.

 

[Leeness]

Yeah, I am not going to do anything but at the same time am not ready to try to go on any other dates right now. I went on 3 during the times we weren't seeing each other and it felt like a waste of time.

She told me not to contact her and I won't. I am confident that I am one of her better guy experiences based on what she told me about her past. I do want to be a fond memory of hers and am disappointed I didn't get an opportunity to apologize.

She deactivated her OKC account earlier this week. I hope she finds happiness.

Good luck

Get back out there eventually! Fair enough to not want to yet, though.

 

[Out of Working Order]

Also, a movie theater is a terrible place to meet new people. It's a reasonably good place to see a movie.

If you're not meeting people in your current routine, then you will either need to change your routine or wait for lightning to strike. (don't wait.)

I would like to join a walking group, or an art class of some sort. Does this sound like a cool idea? What about a gym?

You have to find activities that you like to do. It's tougher once you're out of school but it's still possible. I enjoyed cooking, biking, roller blading so I would treat relationships almost like a job interview. Always being on the lookout for opportunities and doing them. For me, this meant signing up for cooking classes (always tons of women in them), doing biking or blading meetups, being friendly to women in cooking stores, going out with some other single co-workers to parties/bars, going to concerts. You really have to focus on having fun, putting on your best appearance and engage with people. You're not always going to be successful but the more chances you have, the higher likelihood that you'll be successful. The key is to be out in public doing something that you enjoy instead of sitting around at home.

I've always sat around at home, and I'd love to get out. It's just that I've got nobody to go out with. My workplace is doing a Christmas Party thing, though - is it worth me going to that even if I've got nobody I work with going? I just know I'll be sat there like a lemon, feeling awkward as hell.

It's true that you're going to have a smaller pool of women to choose from if you have a crap job and still live with your parents. So I think you need to work on boosting your confidence by changing your appearance (get a new/better haircut, and some decent clothes) and then work to get a better job. Then you can look to move out once you have some savings into a place with roommates.

I already have some nice clothes. Is having roommates normal at 28? And I may have to go back to college to get a better job.

Well the question is if you think so poorly of yourself how can you expect other people to want to be with you? You've got to sort out the real issues in your life before worrying about dating. Your work situation, social situation and general well being are the things holding you back and you should be focusing on them. No amount of advice of how to pick up or date women will help you when that isn't the problem in the first place.

Edit: When i met my now fiancee i was living with my parents with no job and no social life whatsoever. It's certainly not impossible.

Yes, yes; absolutely. The key here is that I feel worthless, and that I have nothing to offer women. It is very difficult to get out of that mindset when you have no proof otherwise. I don't even have guy mates to hang around with. The only text messages I receive on my mobile are from my phone service provider. I've never had a woman hug me close, say I am fun to be around, or even want to hang around with me. I am the real Forever Alone guy. How can anyone feel good about that?

But anyway, I've just started messaging on OKCupid, and have got a response. But she didn't ask me any questions. I sent back another message trying to keep the conversation going, but she hasn't replied. Bad sign? It's hard not to feel utterly dejected, and it makes me wonder if she replied only out of politeness, and is now ignoring me hoping I'll go away.

 

[Servbot24]

I would like to join a walking group, or an art class of some sort. Does this sound like a cool idea? What about a gym?

I've always sat around at home, and I'd love to get out. It's just that I've got nobody to go out with. My workplace is doing a Christmas Party thing, though - is it worth me going to that even if I've got nobody I work with going? I just know I'll be sat there like a lemon, feeling awkward as hell.

But anyway, I've just started messaging on OKCupid, and have got a response. But she didn't ask me any questions. I sent back another message trying to keep the conversation going, but she hasn't replied. Bad sign? It's hard not to feel utterly dejected, and it makes me wonder if she replied only out of politeness, and is now ignoring me hoping I'll go away.

Classes are good, group events are good, the gym is good but primarily for improving your looks rather than actually meeting people at the gym. Not that it never happens.

The only way you'll stop being Forever Alone guy is to expose your social shortcomings. It sucks, but it's necessary to practice. Go to the party and try talking to people you don't know. Easier said than done I realize, but you have to decide if its worth it. I don't want to be cruel here, but most girls aren't going to take an interest in a guy with no friends. So start small, make yourself a few acquaintances, and build from there.

Don't get attached to every OKC message. Girls will disappear in the middle of a convo all the time. Just do your best.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Yeah, I am not going to do anything but at the same time am not ready to try to go on any other dates right now. I went on 3 during the times we weren't seeing each other and it felt like a waste of time.

She told me not to contact her and I won't. I am confident that I am one of her better guy experiences based on what she told me about her past. I do want to be a fond memory of hers and am disappointed I didn't get an opportunity to apologize.

She deactivated her OKC account earlier this week. I hope she finds happiness.

She might have told you not to contact her but if you were sending an apology/goodbye message like the one you did, I'm sure she wouldn't object. It would at least allow you to end things on a postive note. At this point that is what would be my goal if B and I were to have that face to face chat.

 

[youngwerther]

At this point if I send the message I have written, it would be for my own catharsis. I don't expect it will change anything or get her to meet me. But, it would allow me to say, I gave it my all and tried every avenue to try and fix things. So I would be able to say I have no regrets over everything. It would be a part of my process of moving on. And in the 0.00000000001 chance that she says she wants to meet, I'd cross that bridge if I got there.

At this point, giving it your all to try and fix things means not sending her a message.

She might have told you not to contact her but if you were sending an apology/goodbye message like the one you did, I'm sure she wouldn't object. It would at least allow you to end things on a postive note. At this point that is what would be my goal if B and I were to have that face to face chat.

I'm sorry but this is simply bad advice.
When someone directly tells you not to contact them, it's DONE.

 

[Minamu]

There's a difference between not looking and not projecting thirst. "Not looking" when you're a shy internet nerd posting on Dating-Age on NeoGAF is probably going to mean locking up around women who make eye contact with you and going home to jerk off.

No. Don't not look. Go places, meet people, go to parties and events and activities as much as you can, and engage with men and women alike. Train yourself to be cool, treat women like the regular human beings they are and be able to have relaxed conversations, but flirt and smile and tease and send signals at the girls you're interested in. Without needing them to like you, to say yes, to give a shit, or to do anything else, and without treating them like either sex objects or princesses.

Fair enough, that's the usual message in here as you know It may or may not be a good idea to actively search for love, it seems to arrive to those who are more passive, if you go by the cliche at least. By not looking I meant not actively searching in a desperate needy way and instead focus on having a relaxed time and be the best version of you that you can be. I've seen the hunt define the personality of friends and their whole existence and they're hurting terribly in ways they aren't even aware of psychologically. Your suggestion is the recipe to success for sure. Everyone should do that for the own sake!

 

[zeemumu]

There's a difference between not looking and not projecting thirst. "Not looking" when you're a shy internet nerd posting on Dating-Age on NeoGAF is probably going to mean locking up around women who make eye contact with you and going home to jerk off.

No. Don't not look. Go places, meet people, go to parties and events and activities as much as you can, and engage with men and women alike. Train yourself to be cool, treat women like the regular human beings they are and be able to have relaxed conversations, but flirt and smile and tease and send signals at the girls you're interested in. Without needing them to like you, to say yes, to give a shit, or to do anything else, and without treating them like either sex objects or princesses.

You do have a point. Meet new people but don't act like a desperate relationship-hungry weirdo, correct?

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

Aside from dating site users, do most of you end up getting into relationships when you WEREN'T looking for a possible girlfriend or when you were? I think I know what the answer is but I'm curious to know the feedback.

I was not looking to date anyone when I met my current girlfriend. I had been out of a relationship about six months and I'm planning on moving out of the city I live in (Austin), so I wasn't thinking about meeting anyone at all. Then it just kind of happened. We met while both of us were traveling on the other side of the planet and connected nicely. Now, five months later we're planning on moving somewhere together next year.

 

[Out of Working Order]

Classes are good, group events are good, the gym is good but primarily for improving your looks rather than actually meeting people at the gym. Not that it never happens.

The only way you'll stop being Forever Alone guy is to expose your social shortcomings. It sucks, but it's necessary to practice. Go to the party and try talking to people you don't know. Easier said than done I realize, but you have to decide if its worth it. I don't want to be cruel here, but most girls aren't going to take an interest in a guy with no friends. So start small, make yourself a few acquaintances, and build from there.

Don't get attached to every OKC message. Girls will disappear in the middle of a convo all the time. Just do your best.

If it's worth it? Is there a possible downside to going to the party, do you reckon? What would you chat about to people you don't know?

And why will women not be interested in a man that has no friends? Won't going to the party expose that fact to the greatest degree possible?

 

[hydragonwarrior]

Yeah, that's a big no-no even with the relatively low failure rates of condoms.
I don't want to be put in a position where I have to ask someone to get an abortion as it is a pretty horrible thing to ask of someone who might not be keen on getting one.

Yeah, I got a little paranoid last month (with a different girl) and finding out that she really wasn't on BC. The risk is out there and the few days of "what ifs" on my mind afterwards really outweigh's the possibility of good sex.

Condoms have a relatively low failure rate provided you're not using cheap ones that you get from Planned Parenthood or something. I've never, ever, had one break on me and I'm older and have been using them since I was a teenager.

This makes me feel hope, but I keep thinking back to last month lol

Did she say why she doesn't take / believe in BC?

She says it kills her sex drive so she did it out of choice. It's a pretty lose-lose situation lol

You really pull out with condoms? That's the point of them.

Lol the reason why i have concerns about condoms is because I rarely pull out when I wear one - but I guess I wrote that because I know other guys pull out even if they're covered.

Anyway... I'm still undecided lol

 

[Kaizer]

Classes are good, group events are good, the gym is good but primarily for improving your looks rather than actually meeting people at the gym. Not that it never happens.

The only way you'll stop being Forever Alone guy is to expose your social shortcomings. It sucks, but it's necessary to practice. Go to the party and try talking to people you don't know. Easier said than done I realize, but you have to decide if its worth it. I don't want to be cruel here, but most girls aren't going to take an interest in a guy with no friends. So start small, make yourself a few acquaintances, and build from there.

Don't get attached to every OKC message. Girls will disappear in the middle of a convo all the time. Just do your best.

This for sure is great advice, as I can sorta relate. I lurk this thread mostly as I haven't gotten into the Dating game yet, but that's mainly because I'm working on improving my shortcomings and self-esteem issues before putting myself out there, or rather having the confidence to do so. Hopefully I'll become a regular sometime next year!

I'm 21 and have been at college for about 3 & 1/2 years without making any real friends. I too, really only receive text messages from T-Mobile and only my parents. I used to have a great friend group back in high school but after we all went to different schools we lost touch and I retreated back into my quiet shell. Also doesn't help I'm slightly overweight (used to be almost 300 lbs. in HS and lost close to 120 lbs.), specifically about 40 lbs. over what I should be. This makes me incredibly self-concious and sometimes awkward in public.

After being fed up with nothing changing and being sick & tired of being sick & tired, I resolved to change myself this past Summer. This semester at my university,I started taking Japanese and met several other guys & gals I shared some common interests with. I ended up joining the Japanese Club a few weeks later and have met even more people now and am starting to form a new friend group. I've also started working out again and want to lose at least 20-25 lbs. by next March.

My point is it's never too late to start changing or making moves to improving your life socially. Sometimes you just have to say fuck it and get out there despite every voice in your head telling you know. I almost didn't go to the first Japan Club meeting at my school back in September because I'd convinced myself I'd be a loser and wouldn't be able to relate or talk to people there - ended up saying "Fuck you mind, I'm going to this meeting". Just get out and have fun, I definitely suggest finding someway to meetup with people who you share similar interests with.

 

[Pie Lord]

There's a difference between not looking and not projecting thirst. "Not looking" when you're a shy internet nerd posting on Dating-Age on NeoGAF is probably going to mean locking up around women who make eye contact with you and going home to jerk off.

No. Don't not look. Go places, meet people, go to parties and events and activities as much as you can, and engage with men and women alike. Train yourself to be cool, treat women like the regular human beings they are and be able to have relaxed conversations, but flirt and smile and tease and send signals at the girls you're interested in. Without needing them to like you, to say yes, to give a shit, or to do anything else, and without treating them like either sex objects or princesses.

This. A thousand times this.

 

[ATF487]

Recently I've put myself out there for the first time in awhile, to mixed results. Had two dates with a girl I met on OKC; I thought they went well but I just got a rejection text when I tried to plan something for this weekend. I'm pretty disappointed since I liked her but it makes a lot of sense the more I think about it.

Also met this girl last weekend that I hooked up with. We're complete opposites and there's no real future but I might have sex with her tonight because she's attractive and I'm sad. I definitely agree with others that say you have to do the self improvement thing first. I've been making more of an effort but I'm still miles away from where I should be, and it shows. You have to like your life before you invite another person to share it.

 

[TylerD]

I'm sorry but this is simply bad advice.
When someone directly tells you not to contact them, it's DONE.

Yeah, its not worth it. She contacted me when I left it up to her and it is her turn again. I'm going to respect her wish. That is ending things on a good note for me.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

Welp, I think I've already made up my mind - but just sharing my story and figured I'd see if anyone has any input.

Long story short - good work buddy and I went to a local restaurant for lunch on Thursday. Our waitress comes to the table, asks about drinks, and walks off. Both of us immediately can't stop talking about how attractive she is. I'm caught staring at here a minute later, but our eyes lock - I don't turn away, and she gives a very friendly smile.

A couple minutes pass, and my buddy sees her look at me again.

We're talking about what movie we want to see this weekend when she stops cleaning the table next to us and says "PLEASE tell me you're talking about the Hunger Games?" We tell her we are, we share a quick conversation, she laughs a lot, and then she tells me that I'm just gonna make fun of her when she walks away, to which I quickly reply "No, no, I'm not cool enough to make fun of you - I'm leaving work early tomorrow to buy a freaking Xbox." She laughs and says that's awesome.

She's friendly the rest of our time there - granted, she's our waitress, so she has to be; but she was undoubtedly at our table twice as much as any other.

When we left I wrote on the ticket "May the odds be ever in your favor" as a quick joke. We left. And as we're walking out she tells us to enjoy our day and my buddy tells her to enjoy her movie. She laughs and says thanks.

My work buddy says she seemed really into me. And I thought she was super cute and nice. So, screw it, gonna go in again next week. If she's there AND happens to remember us and is friendly AND is still really personable... well then that's it, I'm gonna just be forward and ask her if she'd be willing to grab lunch with me sometime. Never "hit on a waitress" before, because, truthfully, it's their job to be nice. But this girl was too great to ignore - something clicked for me. And worst case scenario, it doesn't work out and/or she says no or is offended or something... and, well... I'm right where I am today.

 

[DTLIONS1013]

New bartender at my favorite bar is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (and can pour the perfect pint, even Guiness)

Do I:
A. Ask her out like any other girl
B. Leave her an enormous tip with my number on it
C. Do nothing, as I mentioned, this is my favorite bar, don't want to make anything weird

 

[Log4Girlz]

Welp, I think I've already made up my mind - but just sharing my story and figured I'd see if anyone has any input.

Long story short - good work buddy and I went to a local restaurant for lunch on Thursday. Our waitress comes to the table, asks about drinks, and walks off. Both of us immediately can't stop talking about how attractive she is. I'm caught staring at here a minute later, but our eyes lock - I don't turn away, and she gives a very friendly smile.

A couple minutes pass, and my buddy sees her look at me again.

We're talking about what movie we want to see this weekend when she stops cleaning the table next to us and says "PLEASE tell me you're talking about the Hunger Games?" We tell her we are, we share a quick conversation, she laughs a lot, and then she tells me that I'm just gonna make fun of her when she walks away, to which I quickly reply "No, no, I'm not cool enough to make fun of you - I'm leaving work early tomorrow to buy a freaking Xbox." She laughs and says that's awesome.

She's friendly the rest of our time there - granted, she's our waitress, so she has to be; but she was undoubtedly at our table twice as much as any other.

When we left I wrote on the ticket "May the odds be ever in your favor" as a quick joke. We left. And as we're walking out she tells us to enjoy our day and my buddy tells her to enjoy her movie. She laughs and says thanks.

My work buddy says she seemed really into me. And I thought she was super cute and nice. So, screw it, gonna go in again next week. If she's there AND happens to remember us and is friendly AND is still really personable... well then that's it, I'm gonna just be forward and ask her if she'd be willing to grab lunch with me sometime. Never "hit on a waitress" before, because, truthfully, it's their job to be nice. But this girl was too great to ignore - something clicked for me. And worst case scenario, it doesn't work out and/or she says no or is offended or something... and, well... I'm right where I am today.

You should have given her a tip.

 

[youngwerther]

New bartender at my favorite bar is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (and can pour the perfect pint, even Guiness)
A. Ask her out like any other girl

Well, she's a beautiful bartender. She probably gets hit on all the time, so asking her out as a customer already kind of puts you at a disadvantage.

You should just ask her out like any other girl.
If she says no, then you don't have to stop going to that bar. She'll be cool if you are cool.
That bar is your turf and she's just passing through.

B. Leave her an enormous tip with my number on it

Never do this in your entire life.
Nuke that option out of your repertoire.

C. Do nothing, as I mentioned, this is my favorite bar, don't want to make anything weird

Heck, this being your favorite bar could possibly even work to your advantage.
Like let's say you are on friendly terms with the other employees, maybe you could work that angle somehow.

 

[TurboLibre]

New bartender at my favorite bar is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen (and can pour the perfect pint, even Guiness)

Do I:
A. Ask her out like any other girl
B. Leave her an enormous tip with my number on it
C. Do nothing, as I mentioned, this is my favorite bar, don't want to make anything weird

Maybe think of D. Continue to go to the bar and build a rapport when convenient. Make a move accordingly.

I work in a restaurant/bar and have seen how these things go down. A isn't impossible, but aim for the number and ask her out later. Still not likely though, but I wing manned my roommate and he hooked up with a co-worker that way. B will make her day, but won't get you anywhere. And C, even if you do ask her out it won't be that weird. Girls get that all the time when they're serving.

Say something like "Hey you got a pretty face and don't seem stupid. We should go out sometime."

Haha. That sounds like something I would say.

But just to highlight it, asking someone out while they're at work is no good unless you've built up to it. Even I have got numbers serving and never thought to call them. But I also don't remember what they look like if they do come back, so it's not uncomfortable on my end either. I may just be weird though.

 

[Cow Mengde]

Maybe think of D.

Seriously though, build a rapport.

 

[Devolution]

I have no problem with her being in 3 relationships in a year, but that type of speed dating is dangerous when feelings are involved.

3 relationships in a year isn't even close to speed dating considering that people hook up for a couple weeks and then find out it's not for them. Apparently you think people should prolong bullshit that isn't working.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

You should have given her a tip.

I did. $5 on $24.xx.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Well I finally unfriended her on Facebook. I can now begin the process from truly moving on without daily facebook reminders. I think the final straw was seeing her post a picture of her and her sister out in the snow and the pain that caused. I don't need that, she's not coming back, so it needed to end now.

 

[etrain911]

So, things just ended between me and the girl I was seeing. She said she was starting to get serious about the other guy, but she still had feelings for me. I told her that I couldn't be friends. She even said "being friends would let me get everything I appreciate about you without...you know..." that's just not how that works. I told her I want more than that, and if she can't give me that, that's fine, and that I'm leaving the door open to give me a call if things don't work out. Then I went into my room and gave her everything she gave me back. She is avoiding me now (she won't get into any group conversation that I'm apart of and didn't sit by me and my friends at the concert even though we had open seats in our section), and seems really sad. After the concert, I smiled at her and said "Hey, how are you?" (we live in the same dorm and went to the same concert) and she looked at me like there was a lot she wanted to say, I'm talking sad puppy dog eyes, but I just kinda went about my day. I guess, what I think, is that I consider myself a gift, and I don't want to settle for platonic-ism with someone who shares a mutual attraction with me. So, I'm pulling away completely. I've been smiling and jovial and cordial. This is like the first time I've ever asserted myself with a girl I've dated. And I think she still really has feelings for me. We have a six week break coming up and she lives really close to me. If she reaches out, awesome, if not, it also works out my way. What do you think though? Did I do the right thing?

 

[TylerD]

Well I finally unfriended her on Facebook. I can now begin the process from truly moving on without daily facebook reminders. I think the final straw was seeing her post a picture of her and her sister out in the snow and the pain that caused. I don't need that, she's not coming back, so it needed to end now.

Good for you.

I'm having a mopey weekend on purpose just to get it out of the way and out of my system. Weather here is super shitty right now. Drinking beer, eating amazing tamales, playing Shatter and Flower... Good times so far!

Haven't logged in on OKC or POF all weekend either.

 

[Mortimer Brewster]

Good for you.

I'm having a mopey weekend on purpose just to get it out of the way. Weather here is super shitty right now. Drinking beer, eating amazing tamales, playing Shatter and Flower... Good times so far!

Haven't logged in on OKC or POF all weekend either.

Me too, Im waxing poetically about failed romances Max Payne style, its providing amusment for my friends.

 

[Log4Girlz]

I did. $5 on $24.xx.

I'm going to pretend that's the kind of tip I was talking about...I have a reputation to uphold.

 

[Servbot24]

So, things just ended between me and the girl I was seeing. She said she was starting to get serious about the other guy, but she still had feelings for me. I told her that I couldn't be friends. She even said "being friends would let me get everything I appreciate about you without...you know..." that's just not how that works. I told her I want more than that, and if she can't give me that, that's fine, and that I'm leaving the door open to give me a call if things don't work out. Then I went into my room and gave her everything she gave me back. She is avoiding me now (she won't get into any group conversation that I'm apart of and didn't sit by me and my friends at the concert even though we had open seats in our section), and seems really sad. After the concert, I smiled at her and said "Hey, how are you?" (we live in the same dorm and went to the same concert) and she looked at me like there was a lot she wanted to say, I'm talking sad puppy dog eyes, but I just kinda went about my day. I guess, what I think, is that I consider myself a gift, and I don't want to settle for platonic-ism with someone who shares a mutual attraction with me. So, I'm pulling away completely. I've been smiling and jovial and cordial. This is like the first time I've ever asserted myself with a girl I've dated. And I think she still really has feelings for me. We have a six week break coming up and she lives really close to me. If she reaches out, awesome, if not, it also works out my way. What do you think though? Did I do the right thing?

Sounds to me like you handled it well though I don't know what the bolded statement means.

 

[Astral]

Sounds to me like you handled it well though I don't know what the bolded statement means.

Every item she gave him, he gave back to her.

 

[Skel1ingt0n]

I'm going to pretend that's the kind of tip I was talking about...I have a reputation to uphold.

lol, and now I get it.

 

[NeOak]

Sounds to me like you handled it well though I don't know what the bolded statement means.

He returned all her gifts.

 

[Mr.Fresh]

Uggghhhh I'm in the most awkward situation ever right now GAF.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Uggghhhh I'm in the most awkward situation ever right now GAF.

Do you want me to stop?