But flirting is cheating's ugly cousin.
Also, what goes around comes around. If she does this for this guy, she could end up doing it to me.
No, I didn't ask for sex.
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But flirting is cheating's ugly cousin.
Also, what goes around comes around. If she does this for this guy, she could end up doing it to me.
No, I didn't ask for sex.
jimmypython
Member
I would start looking for the next target.....just in case this one doesn't work out....
PS. high five fellow Canadian bro...
1. Nah, not really, everybody flirts. Acting on it is different. 2. For sure, I would stay away until the thing sorts itself out and/or go for other girls who are single. Less drama.
NeOak
Member
Flirting is fine. What you refer to in your second sentence is *more* than flirting.
this, but as long as you know what your doing then its fine
the next question is do you want to do it due to respect for her boyfriend
sssstententen
Member
You sound young. Are you in HS?
Also it sounds like you pushed too hard too fast. Relationships are delicate. You don't drown a flower in water to let it grow, you sprinkle it on slowly but surely.
Texting her after the date is fine, but you never really wanna say something like "Did you have fun?". Comes off as uncertain and lacking confidence. At the most something line "I had a great time" etc.
Also if she's a busy girl then continuing to talk kind of suffocates her. In high school even my best relationship I needed to space with her. Especially a fledgling one.
I'd say keep her on your radar but give her space and play it off like you're 100% fine. If she comes to you don't fall on your face running back but calmly and cooly go with it. Be in control, keep the crazy emotional stuff I know you're feeling (because I felt it too) on the inside and show it LATER (if you get there).
Walking away from someone is hard, GAF. At first, I was totally psyched and filled with confidence and self-respect for saying "no" to platonic-ism, but now I just kind of miss her presence. I know that I shouldn't reach out to her, and I don't intend on doing it, but shit....sometimes things aren't as easy as they seem to be. I need to find a good way to detach.
Randomly Nameless
Member
I don't know if I pushed too hard. I actually did tell her that I had a great time and she replied saying she did too. I didn't blatantly ask her, and at school I gave her space. I haven't texted her that much either, aside from our conversation last night.
I don't know. I am young, still in high school. I don't really know what I'm doing. Thanks for the advice I guess. I can wait it out. If she comes around, great. If not I guess I'll have to deal.
I don't know. I am young, still in high school. I don't really know what I'm doing. Thanks for the advice I guess. I can wait it out. If she comes around, great. If not I guess I'll have to deal.
youngwerther
Banned
I must be testosterone deprived.
That girl came over to my place to work on homework wearing these MAD short shorts, and I was like "daym dat ass" and she cooked food and brought me some.
She was asking me a bunch of questions about myself and my family (like really obviously and relentlessly as if to project the fact that she was asking about me)and laughing at every lame thing I said like it was the funniest thing. And I was laying on the floor trying to work and she came and laid down next to me and stretched out on her back with her hands behind her head and talking to me face to face and kept making suggestive comments and our legs were touching and I'm pretty sure it was on but I still did nothing but do physics problems.
She would just stare into my face and not look away for anything and was just laid out and moving her legs against mine.
Do I need testosterone injections?
Like, at what point do I make a move?
She probably thinks I'm gay lol.
That girl came over to my place to work on homework wearing these MAD short shorts, and I was like "daym dat ass" and she cooked food and brought me some.
She was asking me a bunch of questions about myself and my family (like really obviously and relentlessly as if to project the fact that she was asking about me)and laughing at every lame thing I said like it was the funniest thing. And I was laying on the floor trying to work and she came and laid down next to me and stretched out on her back with her hands behind her head and talking to me face to face and kept making suggestive comments and our legs were touching and I'm pretty sure it was on but I still did nothing but do physics problems.
She would just stare into my face and not look away for anything and was just laid out and moving her legs against mine.
Do I need testosterone injections?
Like, at what point do I make a move?
She probably thinks I'm gay lol.
I don't know man, you're probably just not relaxed.
youngwerther
Banned
I was relaxed, I wasn't anxious at all.
I just don't make moves or hit on girls, like, ever. Under any circumstances.
I'm not really sure why I'm like that, but I don't think it's good.
And now I will proceed to masturbate, when I'm pretty sure I just had a girl who was DTF laying next to me.
I just don't make moves or hit on girls, like, ever. Under any circumstances.
I'm not really sure why I'm like that, but I don't think it's good.
And now I will proceed to masturbate, when I'm pretty sure I just had a girl who was DTF laying next to me.
I was the same exact way (I had a girl over a while ago, on my bed, with mood music playing, her pretty much waiting for me to move in... I did nothing) until about a week ago. I asked the girl I sit next to in class to lunch (first time I've ever made the first move) and then Monday said I wanted to take her to dinner (another first).
I don't know what to tell you, but for me it was just me reaching a breaking point. Me thinking, "if I don't do something I will spend the next 6 months regretting it, dwelling on it." so, I don't know. Know yourself and decide what you want to deal with.
TurboLibre
Member
To the guys that have some success in this field, what do you personally look for to see if a woman is interested? What little tells do you notice that let you know it's going down? Because I can't make heads or tails between friendly/romantic intentions. I'm not oblivious when they actually make a move, it's just all the steps before that. It's driving me crazy.
youngwerther
Banned
I'm starting to think that it might be better to just always assume it's romantic.
TurboLibre
Member
Haha, I'd be in so much trouble if I thought that way.
Wish I could though. The women in my life just won't let that happen.
youngwerther
Banned
I don't think you'd be in as much trouble as you think you would...
Provided that the first "no" was also the last.
Provided that the first "no" was also the last.
TurboLibre
Member
I would. Women in committed relationships love to go out with me.
It appears I'm invisible to single women though.
youngwerther
Banned
A few months ago a coworker and I were discussing something similar to this. He was debating whether or not to go after this girl because she had a boyfriend.
As my 50 year old, female boss from Indonesia told him -
"She has a boyfriend? So?"
A week later, he had nailed the chick, she had broken up with her old boyfriend and started dating my buddy. Turns out her old boyfriend was kind of a douche anyways.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou0BcYMwLBs
As my 50 year old, female boss from Indonesia told him -
"She has a boyfriend? So?"
A week later, he had nailed the chick, she had broken up with her old boyfriend and started dating my buddy. Turns out her old boyfriend was kind of a douche anyways.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ou0BcYMwLBs
TurboLibre
Member
Well, I still go out with them. But while they're very flirty and touchy before, when we go out they're in "strictly friends" mode. No chance for moves, no joking back with innuendos, no flirting. Then they tell me about their boyfriend. It's a giant bait and switch.
It's maddening. I don't get stuck in any friendzone because I don't dwell on these women, but I would like to know who I should focus on and who is just looking for attention. It would also help me out to "see" which women are actually interested. Because as it is, all I see are friends.
-ImaginaryInsider
Member
I tend to put myself in situations where I'm around said girl before I pursue. I look at how the girl treats other guys, her friends, and what she talks about. I firmly believe most girls who are wastes of time give you some pretty big red flags if you really pay attention to what they say and do.
It might seem stupid, but imo one of the best indicators a girl is genuinely interested is when she shows interest in my family, asks about my siblings, or how long my parents have been married. Girls just looking for attention aren't going to be thinking in those terms.
Guys I have a situation here, I've seen this girl two times now (the first being the night I met her) and both times we ended up talking for hours. Now we were suppose to go for a formal dinner with my mates this Monday but I found out that the person who was organising it fucked up the dates because the reservation was actually made for next Monday (9th Dec). The issue here is that I wanted to ask her out proper on that night (because I don't like to keep things in between where I don't know if we are going out just as friends or more) but now that the dinner isn't happening until next week, I am not sure how I am suppose to get this to work as we are both leaving the country around Thursday/Friday next week for holidays which means organising something before that might be tough. I was going to ask her to meet me today but she got sick yesterday with stomach flu so I guess that isn't happening either.
I really really like her and I do not want to keep this thing hanging around till we get back, because once we do we have our finals, which means I might not see her until January end, and I fear by the time that happens it will be too late. Everything is always so complicated with me !
I really really like her and I do not want to keep this thing hanging around till we get back, because once we do we have our finals, which means I might not see her until January end, and I fear by the time that happens it will be too late. Everything is always so complicated with me !
youngwerther
Banned
Oh shi-
The girl that came over tonight spent a solid 15 minutes asking me about my siblings, my parents, et. cetera.
Not sure if this is the thread for this, but it's crazy massive so I'm just going to go for it.
So I've been single for about 3 years, and I decided to start going to the gym and going out more often. I guess it worked, I got asked out by 3 girls this month but the really awkward part about is, all 3 girls stood me up. We would figure out a time to meet up, the time would come and I wouldn't hear anything from them and I asked them if they still wanted to meet up and they all said they thought I wasn't going to show up so they made other plans... I mean, what do I do about that? I think it might be because I'm a really sarcastic person in general, but I honestly can't believe I gave off that impression so strongly.
So I've been single for about 3 years, and I decided to start going to the gym and going out more often. I guess it worked, I got asked out by 3 girls this month but the really awkward part about is, all 3 girls stood me up. We would figure out a time to meet up, the time would come and I wouldn't hear anything from them and I asked them if they still wanted to meet up and they all said they thought I wasn't going to show up so they made other plans... I mean, what do I do about that? I think it might be because I'm a really sarcastic person in general, but I honestly can't believe I gave off that impression so strongly.
So you got asked out by them, and THEY stood you up? what the hell?
I'd give them another chance, if it happens again cut contact.
I was really taken back by it too, it's just so obscure, I'm also certain they don't know each other. I guess I should try talking to them again, it's just such a weird experience.
So Dating-GAF, I had major surgery 3 weeks ago and somehow caught the interest of a girl through it. Long story short, we texted a bunch during my hospital stay, she was rather assertive and dropped some majorly obvious hints, and I went with it. We had a couple dates that went well after I was released.
Fast forward to the past week to present, I feel as if I'm more or less ignored out of the blue. She became significantly less responsive over text and interactions in person seems a lot less cheery than before. The most noticeable change is her tone of voice seeming rather dry compared to before. This change seemed to happen almost overnight immediately after we had a cheery non-serious chat, which is what makes it a bit odd to me. I'm aware that it's finals week and a lot of people are on edge about it (my recent attempt to ask her to a movie was rebuffed with grades as justification). Still, I like her quite a bit and the sudden alienation is unusual enough for my generally nonchalant self to take notice.
What's my best course of action from here? Wait an see how it plays out while scouting for other prospects? I should mention that I'm facing a small bout of expected depression due to my face being completely changed as a result of the surgery, so I could just be overthinking it (speaking of which, she did mention that she thought I looked "more than decent" before surgery, so perhaps the physical attraction factor is gone now?).
Fast forward to the past week to present, I feel as if I'm more or less ignored out of the blue. She became significantly less responsive over text and interactions in person seems a lot less cheery than before. The most noticeable change is her tone of voice seeming rather dry compared to before. This change seemed to happen almost overnight immediately after we had a cheery non-serious chat, which is what makes it a bit odd to me. I'm aware that it's finals week and a lot of people are on edge about it (my recent attempt to ask her to a movie was rebuffed with grades as justification). Still, I like her quite a bit and the sudden alienation is unusual enough for my generally nonchalant self to take notice.
What's my best course of action from here? Wait an see how it plays out while scouting for other prospects? I should mention that I'm facing a small bout of expected depression due to my face being completely changed as a result of the surgery, so I could just be overthinking it (speaking of which, she did mention that she thought I looked "more than decent" before surgery, so perhaps the physical attraction factor is gone now?).
youngwerther
Banned
Dunno man, wish I knew.
Really could be anything.
Really could be anything.
DTLIONS1013
Member
Do it, it's not like you're roommates
Figured that's probably the best course of action as schoolwork's been her Achilles' heel as of late.
Her best friend is visiting this weekend and I'm thinking of asking to treat them to lunch/ice cream and using the presence her friend as a way to break the newly-formed ice. Yea/Nay?
I've said it before, there are many videos on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=female+ioi+signs&sm=3
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=female+attraction+signs&sm=3
It's mostly subconscious body language. Granted, a small number of signs doesn't have to mean sexual interest, but the more the merrier. And as youngwerther said, at some point you just gotta assume romance/attraction. You just gotta figure out what KIND of interest she has in you when she gives these signals. It's better to assume attraction and be turned down than to be a wuss and never assume anything except friendship. It's better to apologize for your advances than ask for permission.
youngwerther: Seriously, you had the girl around your finger! I suggest you stop jerking off for a while, that should get your hormones going. No fap november did wonders for me, I had three girls come over and every one did a repeat visit. In one month! I also ran into my ex and she has started to contact me as well for some reason (she said she dared writing me because I had seemed so relaxed and happy when she met me the week before). I was supposed to meet up with a fourth girl for some lunch sex today but she had to reluctantly cancel due to work stress (not enough time between lunch and work starting to truly relax and enjoy herself). You need to take some action if you want things to progress!
PflargBlarg
Member
The girlfriend's going back home for Christmas until new year's in 2 weeks and it's going to suck. We went straight from being not very close friends to seeing each other all the time. I haven't gone longer than a day without seeing her since mid October. I'm happy that she'll be able to see her family again since they're on the other side of the country but I will of course miss her.
On the other hand, I'm going to have so much spare time during the time that she's gone to accomplish things
I don't think I'm going to know what to do.
On the other hand, I'm going to have so much spare time during the time that she's gone to accomplish things
I don't think I'm going to know what to do.
NeOak
Member
The girlfriend's going back home for Christmas until new year's in 2 weeks and it's going to suck. We went straight from being not very close friends to seeing each other all the time. I haven't gone longer than a day without seeing her since mid October. I'm happy that she'll be able to see her family again since they're on the other side of the country but I will of course miss her.
On the other hand, I'm going to have so much spare time during the time that she's gone to accomplish things
I don't think I'm going to know what to do.
Time to research that cure for cancer!
Omegasquash
Member
The girlfriend's going back home for Christmas until new year's in 2 weeks and it's going to suck. We went straight from being not very close friends to seeing each other all the time. I haven't gone longer than a day without seeing her since mid October. I'm happy that she'll be able to see her family again since they're on the other side of the country but I will of course miss her.
On the other hand, I'm going to have so much spare time during the time that she's gone to accomplish things
I don't think I'm going to know what to do.
You'll be just fine.
TurboLibre
Member
I've said it before, there are many videos on youtube
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=female+ioi+signs&sm=3
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=female+attraction+signs&sm=3
It's mostly subconscious body language. Granted, a small number of signs doesn't have to mean sexual interest, but the more the merrier. And as youngwerther said, at some point you just gotta assume romance/attraction. You just gotta figure out what KIND of interest she has in you when she gives these signals. It's better to assume attraction and be turned down than to be a wuss and never assume anything except friendship. It's better to apologize for your advances than ask for permission.
I know, acting isn't my problem. Like I said, I'm going out with them but that's where the vibe changes and it's suddenly platonic. But I can't assume there's a romantic attraction when 99% of my interactions have shown otherwise. That would be delusional (at least in my life). Hell, I've had women throw their numbers at me only to talk about some other guy they're interested in. I don't give off a doormat vibe, so I don't know what the hell they think they're doing, but it's happening all the time.
I'll check out those videos but I just never see the subtle body language directed towards me. Would help me a bunch of I could detect this stuff though. Because this last run has me feeling like there isn't any romantic interest out there for me.
Might sound dumb and demeaning but try going out with single ladies
Besides, any vibe or situation can be changed. If truly 99% of your interactions have not shown a romantic attraction, chances are that the problem lies with you, not them, you know? I thought the same way before and had the same life, but without any dates whatsoever. But you gotta start somewhere even if it's deliberately delusional. We all create our lives so pick a different life than your current one. Girls talking about other guys in front of you doesn't have to mean you're SOL, it could simply be a test to see how you react. Seems to me like you've failed their tests, if that's what it was. Sometimes that's just an invitation to prove that you're carefree about their other guys and a chance to prove to them that you're cooler than the other guys. You've obviously not been that unfortunately, right? So maybe, just maybe, you actually do put out a doormat vibe in some way? As for the signals, it might be easier to spot them onec you know what to look for. It certainly was for me at least. At it certainly sounds you've already given up, you poretty much just said so with your last sentence. That's gonna affect your success and vibe around people as well, believe me! I don't think there's anything wrong with the girls you've met, but I haven't been in your shoes. Most guys in here need a rewiring of their brains, so maybe you do to? My life didn't change until I realized that it isn't futile.trab pu kcip
Member
this. the "don't shit where you eat" thing is for the workplace and this kind of stuff.
as neighbours you can still ignore each other. I thought that's what neighbours are for anyway.
TurboLibre
Member
Might sound dumb but try going out with single ladies
Tell me about it. If only they didn't hide it until we're already out.
Trust me, I'm not blaming them, I've always felt like it's a problem with me. I'm doing everything I can to make myself the best guy I can be, and very confident about who I am. But I'm still left in this rut where I don't detect any romantic interest. Don't know what I'm doing wrong, but if it was obvious my friends (male and female) would have told me about it.
I'm very carefree about it. But that's mainly because I lose any interest in her if she's asking about how to pursue other men. So I'll give her honest tips and advice to push her towards him. I'm not a child and I don't play these games. If she was actually interested in me she would make it clear she's available. But yeah, I may be oblivious and have a hard time connecting to people, but I'm no doormat.
PflargBlarg
Member
For sure.
I'll actually probably use all that time to hit duolingo more than I have. Her parents barely speak any english and I think it would be impressive to be very capable in french when I meet them next summer. I was planning on improving my french any way, but now that I'm dating her there's certainly more motivation, and also someone to practice with and learn the quebecois french properly since duolingo teaches parisian french.
I gave a girl my number the other day and she sent me a text a bit later saying who it was etc. So mini-result having the girl contact me. We chit-chatted a bit but nothing special - just some light banter.
Since then communication has died down a lot. She apologised for not getting back to me sooner because of work (understandable as my workplace has a strict phone policy). I send another text back and get nothing for another day.
So I'm thinking this chick probably isn't interested or I bored her or I didn't ask her out quick enough (possibly all three!) I'm gonna hold onto a smidgen of hope and send one final text (the one where I actually ask her out), but I need some advice. Now I realise people might just jump on me and say "Don't bother...she's clearly not interested." But I want some advice on a particular thing: I want to know how I can ask someone out with a confident attitude like "I know this great bar and I'd love to take you to it this Saturday" sort if thing, but we live a fair way apart and I know fuck all about her area or its surroundings. I know if she were interested she'd probably not have a problem meeting closer to my area, but my town is pretty small and has like one decent pub/bar and I almost always go up to London (by train) when I go out with mates and on dates. I've had the good fortune of having dated a few Londoners or people who live much closer to London so that's rarely been an issue, but this girl I want to ask out doesn't live anywhere near so unless she fancies a 1.5 hour train journey I'm out of luck. (Just to clarify: she lives further south of me from London, so it'd be a bit of a trek for her. I live about 40 minutes away via train.)
So I guess what I'm trying to get at is, would it be viable to say something like "I'd love to come to <town> to meet up with you but don't know the area too well...Do you know any cool places we could go for a drink this Saturday?"
Since then communication has died down a lot. She apologised for not getting back to me sooner because of work (understandable as my workplace has a strict phone policy). I send another text back and get nothing for another day.
So I'm thinking this chick probably isn't interested or I bored her or I didn't ask her out quick enough (possibly all three!) I'm gonna hold onto a smidgen of hope and send one final text (the one where I actually ask her out), but I need some advice. Now I realise people might just jump on me and say "Don't bother...she's clearly not interested." But I want some advice on a particular thing: I want to know how I can ask someone out with a confident attitude like "I know this great bar and I'd love to take you to it this Saturday" sort if thing, but we live a fair way apart and I know fuck all about her area or its surroundings. I know if she were interested she'd probably not have a problem meeting closer to my area, but my town is pretty small and has like one decent pub/bar and I almost always go up to London (by train) when I go out with mates and on dates. I've had the good fortune of having dated a few Londoners or people who live much closer to London so that's rarely been an issue, but this girl I want to ask out doesn't live anywhere near so unless she fancies a 1.5 hour train journey I'm out of luck. (Just to clarify: she lives further south of me from London, so it'd be a bit of a trek for her. I live about 40 minutes away via train.)
So I guess what I'm trying to get at is, would it be viable to say something like "I'd love to come to <town> to meet up with you but don't know the area too well...Do you know any cool places we could go for a drink this Saturday?"
SquiddyCracker
Banned
Go for it!
I tend to ask potentials about their relationship status before going on dates with them
Not in a "do you have a boyfriend" way, but more casual like, which some here have almost taken offense with. But at some point you just have to know the facts in some way. Down the road you might as well assume that all girls are single, and they will be if you're into that, but I don't think that's a good starting point. Read up on signals and hopefully you'll notice them more. That's a start at least. I believe that if you're doing everything in your power to become a better person, and it's still not working, you're either doing it for the wrong reasons or you're trying to improve in the wrong areas. It's as simple as that. I don't believe in bad luck or that you've somehow managed to meet the absolute worst potential girls in the world so many times in a row. I would recommend some more hands-on books perhaps, somewhere along the lines of PUA. Not for the techniques and mindsets necessarily, but some of the books, Magic Bullets for instance, should contain some golden nuggets that might help you. You never know anyway.As for losing interest in girls who talk about other guys, maybe try NOT losing interest one time and see how it feels? You obviously gained nothing positive from losing interest over something so innocent. Instead of giving her sincere tips, tease her and play it off instead. I understand that the game isn't interesting but you also seem to attract that kind of girl at the moment, yes? So either learn to play and enjoy the game, or convince yourself that you can and will attract other kinds of girls and they will follow. For all we know though, her talking about other guys is a way to show interest. She is clearly available if she talks about sleeping with other guys, right? I agree that it sounds like a REALLY weird way of showing interest in someone else, but women do work in mysterious ways
And you said it yourself that you're no expert at signals. In the end you probably want to become the guy where all girls are always available no matter what they say or who they're with. It's also possible to gauge their interest by jokingly assuming that something random they said means they want to hook up with you, just to test THEM, you know?Either try something like "Hey, I suppose you want to get together?" and then see what she says. Or be a bit funny about it and ask her in a firm manner that you'd like her to offer you to show you around her town sometime this weekend.
Sheesh, I've been texting this girl for 2.5 weeks since our first date and still haven't found a day to go out with her again (she's been busy with work or sick). You'd sure think that she would have lost interest by now and would just ignore me, but she keeps replying... maybe she's just very polite? I'm leaving town next week for a whole month, if something happens it will probably have to be by then.
Gaf, what is your opinion on talking with an ex in the event of no good prospects at this point in time?
I guess that's confusingly worded. Basically, I've talked with three girls in the past couple months and none of them have panned out, so I'm looking elsewhere. Particularly, an ex I dated back in high school for a long time. We never had sex (fucking idiot high schooler me, two years of dating and we did everything but sex. que sera sera I suppose) so there is, what I feel at least, some untapped potential.
Anyway, we haven't spoken to each other in three years and just recently reconnected. I friended her on facebook, made a status asking if anybody wanted to organize a group outing, she immediately responded and helped me plan it. Conversation during the night was pleasant and didn't seem to be awkward. For a while though, she hated my guts. I'm guessing she's over it.
Anyway I hit her up on facebook a couple days after the event and we've sent a few messages back and forth and she's been really responsive. We're planning a camping trip for our old high school group to go on for New Years right now. Basically, is it ever a good idea to hook back up with an ex (I would tell her I had no interest in dating prior just to put everyone on the same page) in a dry spell? Does it open a can of worms best left dormant? Anybody have any success stories with something similar? My line of thought is that we already have some familiarity with each other, so setting up a date wouldn't be awkward which would be refreshing after a few less than stellar ones. And tent sex would be awesome on new years. But that goes without saying.
I guess that's confusingly worded. Basically, I've talked with three girls in the past couple months and none of them have panned out, so I'm looking elsewhere. Particularly, an ex I dated back in high school for a long time. We never had sex (fucking idiot high schooler me, two years of dating and we did everything but sex. que sera sera I suppose) so there is, what I feel at least, some untapped potential.
Anyway, we haven't spoken to each other in three years and just recently reconnected. I friended her on facebook, made a status asking if anybody wanted to organize a group outing, she immediately responded and helped me plan it. Conversation during the night was pleasant and didn't seem to be awkward. For a while though, she hated my guts. I'm guessing she's over it.
Anyway I hit her up on facebook a couple days after the event and we've sent a few messages back and forth and she's been really responsive. We're planning a camping trip for our old high school group to go on for New Years right now. Basically, is it ever a good idea to hook back up with an ex (I would tell her I had no interest in dating prior just to put everyone on the same page) in a dry spell? Does it open a can of worms best left dormant? Anybody have any success stories with something similar? My line of thought is that we already have some familiarity with each other, so setting up a date wouldn't be awkward which would be refreshing after a few less than stellar ones. And tent sex would be awesome on new years. But that goes without saying.
DanteGhost
Member
When I met my current fiancee she still had a boyfriend, one which she had been for awhile. For various reasons things between them were not working out, but it was pretty obvious to me that they still loved/cared for each other. I fell really hard for her, and she ended up cheating on him with me. We became really close and she started telling me everything about her ex and other issues with other guys. It took a toll on me. Deep down it affected me a lot, and it got me thinking that she might do the same to me. That first couple of months with her were full of drama, and at times I thought it wouldn't last long, because it got to a point in which both of us felt guilty.
Now we have been together for 4 years, and we are planning to get married next year during summer. My advice to you would be to ask yourself if you are ready for the drama that will ensue, because you will be at the center of it. Also if things do happen between the two of you give her time, and I really mean it. Also try to give her all your trust, because that would be the pillar of a healthy relationship. Also ask her is she is ready to leave her boyfriend, and if she does it do not rush things.
Personally, if I was in the same situation with another girl I wouldn't do it again. But I don't regret what I went through with my fiancee. I found my other half, and all of the ups and downs were worth it. They made us a stronger couple.
Best of luck, and I hope that helps a little.
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