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[TheExodu5]

I keep thinking there must be something horribly wrong with this girl. Either that or I'm completely misinterpreting. It's just been through Facebook convos, but I'm clicking better with her than I ever have with any girl. Our interests don't completely align, but that's kind of what's making this interesting.

I mentioned I was going to watch Anchorman tonight and she suggested we could watch it together if I waited until next week...considering we haven't even met yet that seems like a pretty strong indication of interest unless I'm completely reading this wrong. The only thing that's really putting me out of my element here is that I'm a little intimidated meeting her for the first time at my place. Maybe I'll ask her out for a coffee first, heh. Then again, since she initiated maybe I should let her take the lead.

 

[Darryl]

I'm used to meeting girls through social circles, not really picking up strangers. I started going to bars recently. I went to one over last weekend and I got hit on by a girl. I ended up asking for her number while she was on the way out (at closing) and she seemed happy, like she was expecting it. I have no idea what I was supposed to do from there, though. Which was fine until I thought it was appropriate to send her a text on new years evening (3 days later?) to ask if she had any plans for the night. No response.

I don't really know what I should've done there. Was I supposed to call instead of text? Is asking someone met through a bar something conversational instead of making plans rude? 3~ days too early/too late? Do I just write her off completely after she ignored me or should I try again eventually?

 

[TheExodu5]

I'm used to meeting girls through social circles, not really picking up strangers. I started going to bars recently. I went to one over last weekend and I got hit on by a girl. I ended up asking for her number while she was on the way out (at closing) and she seemed happy, like she was expecting it. I have no idea what I was supposed to do from there, though. Which was fine until I thought it was appropriate to send her a text on new years evening (3 days later?) to ask if she had any plans for the night. No response.

I don't really know what I should've done there. Was I supposed to call instead of text? Is asking someone met through a bar something conversational instead of making plans rude? 3~ days too early/too late? Do I just write her off completely after she ignored me or should I try again eventually?

Could be a lot of things. Maybe she was just looking to connect on the night of. Maybe she was with someone else that evening. I don't really think there's anything wrong with texting...though if you really want to get her attention maybe a call would be better. In any case, you may as well try once more...what do you have to lose? Call her tomorrow and ask her out for the weekend.

Oh and 3 days might seem reasonable, but asking her out for NYE on the day of might be a bit presumptuous. It's probably a fair bet that she had plans.

 

[gimz]

do you guys think playing hard to get works toward woman?

 

[MogCakes]

do you guys think playing hard to get works toward woman?

Depends on whether you're the one chasing them or they're chasing you. Generally it only works if you already possess attractive qualities to them.

 

[Authority]

So, people who know more about Internet dating. How many messages should you send before you ask to meet up? Have been chatting a bit with a girl who seems pretty cool. Maybe not all that good-looking but seems like a fun person to be with. I guess I should make some kind of move?

There is no such thing as "when". That is some bullshit my generation grew up with and results are speaking for themselves - rise of the online interaction, lack of face to face interaction, and so on and so forth.

Anyway, your primary goal shouldn't be to "God I have to meet her as soon as possible". That is creepy. So do not ask these questions. Just build up the connection with her and make the move when you are both in that comfortable moment to make future plans.

 

[trab pu kcip]

I keep thinking there must be something horribly wrong with this girl. Either that or I'm completely misinterpreting. It's just been through Facebook convos, but I'm clicking better with her than I ever have with any girl. Our interests don't completely align, but that's kind of what's making this interesting.

I mentioned I was going to watch Anchorman tonight and she suggested we could watch it together if I waited until next week...considering we haven't even met yet that seems like a pretty strong indication of interest unless I'm completely reading this wrong. The only thing that's really putting me out of my element here is that I'm a little intimidated meeting her for the first time at my place. Maybe I'll ask her out for a coffee first, heh. Then again, since she initiated maybe I should let her take the lead.

I'd definitely go for a coffee first, but that's just me. you don't know what she looks like though, so that's a bit of a risk. but it's not like you have any obligations whatsoever so yeah either way works I guess.


dating GAF I need help! I'm hella confused right know. I met this old friend I haven't seen in a while recently and we got kinda drunk, really hit it off together and something happened between us but we haven't talked since. we weren't really in touch before and I don't know if I should contact him or not. I mean if it was just any guy I'd just conclude that he isn't interested in further contact but with an old friend it's different somehow :| but I'm also really insecure about this.

 

[Prophet Steve]

I'd definitely go for a coffee first, but that's just me. you don't know what she looks like though, so that's a bit of a risk. but it's not like you have any obligations whatsoever so yeah either way works I guess.


dating GAF I need help! I'm hella confused right know. I met this old friend I haven't seen in a while recently and we got kinda drunk, really hit it off together and something happened between us but we haven't talked since. we weren't really in touch before and I don't know if I should contact him or not. I mean if it was just any guy I'd just conclude that he isn't interested in further contact but with an old friend it's different somehow :| but I'm also really insecure about this.

If you weren't really in touch before I'd say you have little to lose, so go for it.

 

[trab pu kcip]

If you weren't really in touch before I'd say you have little to lose, so go for it.

that's reasonable but my pride keeps telling me that I shouldn't look like I'm making more out of it than he does.
but what would I write anyway... just "hi" or something? I don't even know that.

 

[Prophet Steve]

that's reasonable but my pride keeps telling me that I shouldn't look like I'm making more out of it than he does.
but what would I write anyway... just "hi" or something? I don't even know that.

Well, first just try to meet up again. Say that you enjoyed the time and maybe was wondering if he would like to do something like that again. Whether you are making more out of it or not, it doesn't really matter for that.

And if he agrees you can at least gauge the situation a bit better or just directly ask.

 

[Sarcastico]

So there's this girl I know. She just broke up with her BF of 3 years a couple of days ago.

She messaged me very shortly after the breakup via Facebook, so I do my best to comfort her, and we've been in touch for most of the past three days. Recently, she told me that I'm a nice guy and I know how to respect women and all that, and she keeps asking me how come I don't have a girlfriend. So I'm curious to know if it's a subtle way of saying she's into me but didn't want to ask her so soon after her breakup.

What are your opinions on this, gaffers?

 

[Anoregon]

So there's this girl I know. She just broke up with her BF of 3 years a couple of days ago.

She messaged me very shortly after the breakup via Facebook, so I do my best to comfort her, and we've been in touch for most of the past three days. Recently, she told me that I'm a nice guy and I know how to respect women and all that, and she keeps asking me how come I don't have a girlfriend. So I'm curious to know if it's a subtle way of saying she's into me but didn't want to ask her so soon after her breakup.

What are your opinions on this, gaffers?

immediately send her a picture of your erect penis

 

[beat]

.but what would I write anyway... just "hi" or something? I don't even know that.

If he's into you, then just "hi" is gonna put him in a tailspin of overthinking it. =) I vote something more like inviting him out somewhere, on vague terms maybe*, and then be direct in person if he accepts the invitation.

* concrete plans for time and place, but I don't think it's necessary to spell out that it's a romantic date.

 

[stn]

So there's this girl I know. She just broke up with her BF of 3 years a couple of days ago.

She messaged me very shortly after the breakup via Facebook, so I do my best to comfort her, and we've been in touch for most of the past three days. Recently, she told me that I'm a nice guy and I know how to respect women and all that, and she keeps asking me how come I don't have a girlfriend. So I'm curious to know if it's a subtle way of saying she's into me but didn't want to ask her so soon after her breakup.

What are your opinions on this, gaffers?

She's basically looking for a rebound. Or for emotional attachment. If you want something physical, make the intention clear and go for it. Either way, stop comforting her unless she's a really good friend. Though I doubt she's THAT close to you if she's looking to rebound with you? The key thing to remember is that she will not respond in the way you want if you just keep comforting her. Avoid that.

 

[giga]

So there's this girl I know. She just broke up with her BF of 3 years a couple of days ago.

She messaged me very shortly after the breakup via Facebook, so I do my best to comfort her, and we've been in touch for most of the past three days. Recently, she told me that I'm a nice guy and I know how to respect women and all that, and she keeps asking me how come I don't have a girlfriend. So I'm curious to know if it's a subtle way of saying she's into me but didn't want to ask her so soon after her breakup.

What are your opinions on this, gaffers?

If you do anything, you'll be the rebound guy. Three years is a long time.

 

[DrM]

Just ended it with my girlfriend of nearly 6years on New Years. I'm that guy. It felt absolutely necessary but now I feel like nothing, hollow. We were clearly wrong for eachother and it was becoming increasingly obvious to eachother but still. You don't spend nearly 6 years and drop someone I guess. Felt like an addict last night, tossing turning, losing my mind. Just laying in bed now and have to get up since she is coming back for her stuff. Feels bad man.

Damn, that sucks. Been in same situation last autumn, ending relationship after 5 years. For very similar reason. It is hard as fck at first, but time heals everything, just keep yourself occupied.

@ trab pu kcip : write to your friend or invite him for a coffee/lunch. You have nothing to lose.

 

[trab pu kcip]

Well, first just try to meet up again. Say that you enjoyed the time and maybe was wondering if he would like to do something like that again. Whether you are making more out of it or not, it doesn't really matter for that.

And if he agrees you can at least gauge the situation a bit better or just directly ask.

If he's into you, then just "hi" is gonna put him in a tailspin of overthinking it. =) I vote something more like inviting him out somewhere, on vague terms maybe*, and then be direct in person if he accepts the invitation.

* concrete plans for time and place, but I don't think it's necessary to spell out that it's a romantic date.

thanks for the advice guys. I messaged him but there's no answer yet (even though he has seen it) :| hm, I'll give it some more time I guess

 

[mgcastro]

So I've dated twice this very innocent girl, she's 25, I'm almost 25, she seems incredibly innocent and inexperienced on these affairs (told me I'm the first guy to take her on a date), I'm not sure how to proceed with her. We've been friends since ~7 months ago, but we only saw each other during weekends on a master we're both taking. Beginning December I invited her on a date because she's the kind of girl I'd like to have a serious relationship with, she's an excellent professional, very well mannered, respectful, doesn't like alcohol, she's not one to go out with friends that much, etc. I'm not that very different to be honest.

First date was nice, at the end of the day I told her how I felt about her, she felt a bit overwhelmed, didn't know exactly how to react, but she eventually said we could get to know each other better. Afterwards we basically texted each other, I often flirt with her, but the recurring response is a 'really, thank you very much' which could include in some occasions a blushing smiley, I mean that is nice, but doesn't seem to say much.

Second date we got to know each other better, she seemed genuinely interested in knowing about myself and my family, but time went fast and she wanted to be early at home to watch out after her little (22 year old) sister who was alone. I couldn't progress with her, get into a deeper conversation, but she says she enjoys going out with me.

She doesn't have any initiative to get into other conversations besides our hobbies, work, college and family, I kinda' feel I'm alone in this and that it could take like 6 months just to start a relationship with her. I also feel like I have to "force" a deeper conversation next time we date to see where she stands, but I also don't want to screw things in the process. So I'm here wondering how to approach her, maybe it's just a matter-of-time thing and I'm just stupidly anxious.

Also, something that is starting to make me uneasy is that I have paid for every single thing, well I said both invitations were on my part, but I've also been picking her up and escorting her back to her house on taxi, and that's quite a lot of spent money since she lives like 25 minutes away and I have to get back home on taxi too. The places we have gone to are closer to my place, that's why I offer to pick her up. I don't think she's greedy or anything, more like maybe she's not accustomed to these situations. But this is something I have to eventually talk with her if we're to keep dating.

 

[TylerD]

Texting and catching up with the girl I royally pissed off has been going well. I am letting her do all the driving for now but it is about time to ask her out for coffee so we can hopefully take that next step and start seeing each other again.

 

[TheExodu5]

that's reasonable but my pride keeps telling me that I shouldn't look like I'm making more out of it than he does.
but what would I write anyway... just "hi" or something? I don't even know that.

Who cares about pride? As someone who isn't a very prideful person, I hate it when people place so much importance on pride when it comes to relationships. Let him know you're interested, and the burden is on him to tell you he is not. You have nothing to lose.

 

[Kung Fu Jedi]

So I've dated twice this very innocent girl, she's 25, I'm almost 25, she seems incredibly innocent and inexperienced on these affairs (told me I'm the first guy to take her on a date), I'm not sure how to proceed with her. We've been friends since ~7 months ago, but we only saw each other during weekends on a master we're both taking. Beginning December I invited her on a date because she's the kind of girl I'd like to have a serious relationship with, she's an excellent professional, very well mannered, respectful, doesn't like alcohol, she's not one to go out with friends that much, etc. I'm not that very different to be honest.

First date was nice, at the end of the day I told her how I felt about her, she felt a bit overwhelmed, didn't know exactly how to react, but she eventually said we could get to know each other better. Afterwards we basically texted each other, I often flirt with her, but the recurring response is a 'really, thank you very much' which could include in some occasions a blushing smiley, I mean that is nice, but doesn't seem to say much.

Second date we got to know each other better, she seemed genuinely interested in knowing about myself and my family, but time went fast and she wanted to be early at home to watch out after her little (22 year old) sister who was alone. I couldn't progress with her, get into a deeper conversation, but she says she enjoys going out with me.

She doesn't have any initiative to get into other conversations besides our hobbies, work, college and family, I kinda' feel I'm alone in this and that it could take like 6 months just to start a relationship with her. I also feel like I have to "force" a deeper conversation next time we date to see where she stands, but I also don't want to screw things in the process. So I'm here wondering how to approach her, maybe it's just a matter-of-time thing and I'm just stupidly anxious.

Also, something that is starting to make me uneasy is that I have paid for every single thing, well I said both invitations were on my part, but I've also been picking her up and escorting her back to her house on taxi, and that's quite a lot of spent money since she lives like 25 minutes away and I have to get back home on taxi too. The places we have gone to are closer to my place, that's why I offer to pick her up. I don't think she's greedy or anything, more like maybe she's not accustomed to these situations. But this is something I have to eventually talk with her if we're to keep dating.

From the sounds of things, you're going to need a lot of patience to date her. I've found anyone who is inexperienced in these areas aren't really sure how to act and can be a bit awkward at times. If you really like her, and see a future with her, I'd say take it slow and be prepared to initiate conversation for awhile. Once she gets comfortable with you, she'll calm down and things will go more naturally, but for now, this is all new for her. It's probably overwhelming for her too.

As for paying for things, this is probably something you'll have to be willing to do for awhile as well. At least until you're in an actual relationship. It sounds like she doesn't really know how to react just yet. I'd suggest you either find some activities closer to where she lives or suggest meeting somewhere, leaving her to get her own transportation to that location. It isn't all that common for someone to take a taxi to meet up with their date, only to then take another one to the actual place. She should be fine with finding a ride to where you're meeting. Things are a bit different once you're actually dating.

 

[beat]

Who cares about pride? As someone who isn't a very prideful person, I hate it when people place so much importance on pride when it comes to relationships. Let him know you're interested, and the burden is on him to tell you he is not. You have nothing to lose.

I think it's the very understandable fear of rejection and getting hurt.

But yeah, ultimately we only figure out if there's mutual attraction when we take risks and put ourselves out there. I'm not saying be pushy, but I am saying don't waste time.

 

[isny]

I don't think I'm bad looking and my interests are varied enough so I think I'm a somewhat interesting person, so it's a little frustrating I have yet to really click with anyone so far. Still, I've made a fair bit of growth over the last year or two, so there's still hope.

Try OK Cupid. I'm not joking. Like, really not joking. I can't believe it's not butter! Wait, no...I mean...I can't believe how well it works! Lots of great girls here in our city bro. They're just all hiding behind a monitor.

Also, you are a somewhat interesting person, and totally not a bad looking guy, so don't worry, things will happen!

So, people who know more about Internet dating. How many messages should you send before you ask to meet up? Have been chatting a bit with a girl who seems pretty cool. Maybe not all that good-looking but seems like a fun person to be with. I guess I should make some kind of move?

Best advice I can give you is not to settle. If you think she's a "maybe not all the good-looking" it's something that will bug you for a long time and you probably won't ever be able to get this description of her out of your mind and it's just not worth the constant though of "I can do better."

 

[mgcastro]

From the sounds of things, you're going to need a lot of patience to date her. I've found anyone who is inexperienced in these areas aren't really sure how to act and can be a bit awkward at times. If you really like her, and see a future with her, I'd say take it slow and be prepared to initiate conversation for awhile. Once she gets comfortable with you, she'll calm down and things will go more naturally, but for now, this is all new for her. It's probably overwhelming for her too.

As for paying for things, this is probably something you'll have to be willing to do for awhile as well. At least until you're in an actual relationship. It sounds like she doesn't really know how to react just yet. I'd suggest you either find some activities closer to where she lives or suggest meeting somewhere, leaving her to get her own transportation to that location. It isn't all that common for someone to take a taxi to meet up with their date, only to then take another one to the actual place. She should be fine with finding a ride to where you're meeting. Things are a bit different once you're actually dating.

Yeah sounds like a patience thing, but I mean, like a lot of patience lol, but I think it'll be worth it.

And yeah, others have also suggested me it would be wise to go somewhere near her place, I honestly don't know the area that much, that's why I have not done it before, but perhaps a little research on my part could do the trick.

Thanks for the advice!

 

[Astral]

So is it normal to go like thirty minutes of straight thrusting and not cum? I feel like it may be a curse.

 

[GK86]

So is it normal to go like thirty minutes of straight thrusting and not cum? I feel like it may be a curse.

Pfft, try 3 hours of thrusting without cumming.



Serious answer: Some guys have trouble finishing. Has it always been that way?

 

[Astral]

Pfft, try 3 hours of thrusting without cumming.



Serious answer: Some guys have trouble finishing. Has it always been that way?

I wouldn't call it trouble per say. I didn't become flaccid or anything. I just didn't cum. This was only my second time so I can't say it's always been this way (first time was like in 2 minutes). Though I do hold out as long as possible when masturbating. Does that do anything? I just don't want her to think it was something she did wrong. Also, you didn't actually thrust for 3 hours did you? Because damn.

 

[DTLIONS1013]

So is it normal to go like thirty minutes of straight thrusting and not cum? I feel like it may be a curse.

I've had occasions where I've gone longer than that that I attribute to the girl just laying there and taking it

 

[giga]

I wouldn't call it trouble per say. I didn't become flaccid or anything. I just didn't cum. This was only my second time so I can't say it's always been this way (first time was like in 2 minutes). Though I do hold out as long as possible when masturbating. Does that do anything? I just don't want her to think it was something she did wrong. Also, you didn't actually thrust for 3 hours did you? Because damn.

If it's only your second time, you probably have nothing to worry about. My first few times I couldn't cum with penetration sex. I had to be finished with hand or mouth. It went away soon.

You should communicate with her so she knows it's not something she's doing.

 

[Future PhaZe]

So is it normal to go like thirty minutes of straight thrusting and not cum? I feel like it may be a curse.

Many guys can go forever with a condom

 

[Femmeworth]

So is it normal to go like thirty minutes of straight thrusting and not cum? I feel like it may be a curse.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_ejaculation

If you continue to have trouble, I'd suggest giving up porn and masturbation which worked for me.

 

[AlexBasch]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_ejaculation

If you continue to have trouble, I'd suggest giving up porn and masturbation which worked for me.

Yikes, I had that a few months ago.

It just happened and was gone before I knew it, but it is very frustrating, now I know there's an actual 'term' for that thing.

 

[TheExodu5]

So is it normal to go like thirty minutes of straight thrusting and not cum? I feel like it may be a curse.

The longer I go, the more unlikely it is that I'll finish. Kind of annoying, tbh.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_ejaculation

If you continue to have trouble, I'd suggest giving up porn and masturbation which worked for me.

Not really my problem...I just become less sensitive as times goes. Friction and all that, I guess.

 

[Mordeccai]

The second girl I slept with, I couldn't cum. We had sex four times and I was only able to bust on the last time, but damn it felt glorious. I posted the story before and had gaffers calling me a liar (lol) but the first two times we had sex it lasted a couple hours. All I know is clothes came off around 12 and we didn't go to bed until 3 both times. It wasn't three hours of thrusting, plenty of position changing, making out, touching in between. Performance anxiety is what I boiled it down to. It should work itself out as you get more comfortable with it, just get immersed in the moment and it'll be easier.

 

[isny]

The longer I go, the more unlikely it is that I'll finish. Kind of annoying, tbh.

Can't believe we're talking about this on GAF, but I agree.

 

[TheExodu5]

Can't believe we're talking about this on GAF, but I agree.

Yeah, maybe this is getting a little weird lol.

Try OK Cupid. I'm not joking. Like, really not joking. I can't believe it's not butter! Wait, no...I mean...I can't believe how well it works! Lots of great girls here in our city bro. They're just all hiding behind a monitor.

Also, you are a somewhat interesting person, and totally not a bad looking guy, so don't worry, things will happen!

Heh, I'll give it a shot if things don't work out with the current interests.

 

[Astral]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delayed_ejaculation

If you continue to have trouble, I'd suggest giving up porn and masturbation which worked for me.

Shit. I guess I'll stop masturbating for a while to see if it helps.

 

[TheExodu5]

I'm feeling better and better that things didn't work out with NYE girl. She's a nice girl, and she was pretty much perfect for me physically and career-wise, but besides that there was just no excitement in our conversations. I feel like it would have gotten boring very quickly.

Fast forward to this new girl and there's just the perfect balance between serious conversation and playful banter. I need a girl who can both handle and dish out a healthy dose of sarcasm, but can switch it off and have an intelligent conversation when the occasion calls for it.

I feel kind of ridiculous talking like this about someone who I haven't met in real life yet, but it's the first time I've clicked like this with someone so I'm kind of discovering what I'm looking for in a girl which is a good feeling. Even if things don't work out I feel like I'll be in a better place to find the next one.

 

[isny]

II need a girl who can both handle and dish out a healthy dose of sarcasm, but can switch it off and have an intelligent conversation when the occasion calls for it.

You just need a girl like me? =p

 

[TheExodu5]

You just need a girl like me? =p

If you had breasts, I might not be able to resist.

 

[trab pu kcip]

I think it's the very understandable fear of rejection and getting hurt.

exactly. and it's a fear that was not completely absurd.
I tried to start a conversation but I got the feeling that I was the only one talking, if you know what I mean. just felt forced and I was the only one pushing it forward.
fuck. I never knew this would hit me this hard but it kinda does right now. just wondering what went wrong :/

 

[isny]

dating GAF I need help! I'm hella confused right know. I met this old friend I haven't seen in a while recently and we got kinda drunk, really hit it off together and something happened between us but we haven't talked since. we weren't really in touch before and I don't know if I should contact him or not. I mean if it was just any guy I'd just conclude that he isn't interested in further contact but with an old friend it's different somehow :| but I'm also really insecure about this.

You really have nothing to be insecure about. Look at you You just need to be upfront with guys sometimes. Just make it known it wasn't just a one time thing and that you would like to go out on a date with the guy as opposed to letting him think it was just fooling around and nothing is going to come from it. And by being upfront, I mean don't let him think you guys are just "hanging out." So if you do coffee or something to talk about what happened, make sure he knows you have these feelings and it's a date and it's not just friends catching up.

exactly. and it's a fear that was not completely absurd.
I tried to start a conversation but I got the feeling that I was the only one talking, if you know what I mean. just felt forced and I was the only one pushing it forward.
fuck. I never knew this would hit me this hard but it kinda does right now. just wondering what went wrong :/

If you guys don't click it's not your fault. Not everyone can sit and have a natural conversation with someone they're interested in. He may just not be as interested as you are, so he's not really interested in the conversation. Either that, or it could be something else, he could be stressed, he could have other things on his mind, he could be thinking of jumping you, who knows. But you either need to be realllly upfront and see what happens, or forget about it and move on.

 

[TheExodu5]

exactly. and it's a fear that was not completely absurd.
I tried to start a conversation but I got the feeling that I was the only one talking, if you know what I mean. just felt forced and I was the only one pushing it forward.
fuck. I never knew this would hit me this hard but it kinda does right now. just wondering what went wrong :/

I was pretty much exactly in the same situation yesterday. It went ago really quickly when I realized that it was nothing more than a crush and there really wasn't any chemistry there. I mean, part of me still thinks "what did I do wrong?", but in reality, you can't make someone like you. Not everyone is meant for each other and that's perfectly okay. I think coming to terms with that helps a lot.

Also, some more advice from my recent experience: don't push it. Don't try to win him over. It's only going to make things worse once your hopes are dashed. That was my mistake...I let it build for several months always thinking there was a chance, when in reality there wasn't.

You really have nothing to be insecure about. Look at you You just need to be upfront with guys sometimes. Just make it known it wasn't just a one time thing and that you would like to go out on a date with the guy as opposed to letting him think it was just fooling around and nothing is going to come from it. And by being upfront, I mean don't let him think you guys are just "hanging out." So if you do coffee or something to talk about what happened, make sure he knows you have these feelings and it's a date and it's not just friends catching up.

I really like this advice. Otherwise you end up in a situation where both people have different expectations and someone ends up getting hurt more than they have to.

 

[DrM]

Oh, i forgot to share a story, which unfolded for me in December.

I knew this girl for quite some time, i will call her Susan and she moved to new apartment. She texted me if I have time to visit her, and I said "sure, why not".That evening, we had a tea at her place and chatted for several hours and when is time to leave suddenly Susan jumps on me, kissing me on my neck and telling me "how attractive am I and she is so lonely" and "your beard is so nice". It was quite hard to resist, but I did, because my gut feeling told me that something is not quite right.

In the middle of the night text msg from Susan on the phone "Am I not attractive enough for you?" Reply from me "You are very attractive, but you know, we are friends and let's stay friends". Got " oh you " back.

Fast forward two weeks, she calls me if I can get a champagne cheaper at store, where I work. Because I had some other stuff to do in city where she lives, I went to her to give her bottles and she would pay me. First thing when I walk into her place is to see another dude lying on the couch and Susan tells me "that is Alex, my boyfriend, we have anniversary today, one year".

"Oh, how lovely", gave her bottles, collected money, told her to have a nice evening and happy new year and went home. Laughing all the way.

 

[TheExodu5]

Wow. Dodged a bullet.

 

[NeOak]

Oh, i forgot to share a story, which unfolded for me in December.

I knew this girl for quite some time, i will call her Susan and she moved to new apartment. She texted me if I have time to visit her, and I said "sure, why not".That evening, we had a tea at her place and chatted for several hours and when is time to leave suddenly Susan jumps on me, kissing me on my neck and telling me "how attractive am I and she is so lonely" and "your beard is so nice". It was quite hard to resist, but I did, because my gut feeling told me that something is not quite right.

In the middle of the night text msg from Susan on the phone "Am I not attractive enough for you?" Reply from me "You are very attractive, but you know, we are friends and let's stay friends". Got " oh you " back.

Fast forward two weeks, she calls me if I can get a champagne cheaper at store, where I work. Because I had some other stuff to do in city where she lives, I went to her to give her bottles and she would pay me. First thing when I walk into her place is to see another dude lying on the couch and Susan tells me "that is Alex, my boyfriend, we have anniversary today, one year".

"Oh, how lovely", gave her bottles, collected money, told her to have a nice evening and happy new year and went home. Laughing all the way.

Did you see if "Alex" had a beard too? lol

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

Trying to help a severely depressed female friend who got dumped between xmas and new years, is all alone at college and has two major assignments due on the 6th that she hasn't started is utterly impossible.

 

[DrM]

Did you see if "Alex" had a beard too? lol

Yep, he had. I stared at him for several seconds, when my brain processed new shocking info

 

[NeOak]

Trying to help a severely depressed female friend who got dumped between xmas and new years, is all alone at college and has two major assignments due on the 6th that she hasn't started is utterly impossible.

She needs the D treatment.

But seriously, what are the assignments about? Any chance you can do them?

Yep, he had. I stared at him for several seconds, when my brain processed new shocking info

Like what? How bad the dude looks? Or how he looks alike to you?

Just kidding, I would have been shocked too.

 

[Go_Ly_Dow]

She needs the D treatment.

But seriously, what are the assignments about? Any chance you can do them?

I've got my hands full with my own and she would also refuse any sort of direct help like that. I have wrote her assignment plans, but she's too depressed to even start them.

Told her to tell her tutors how she's feeling to see if she can get an extension and to also go home to her family, but she won't do either.

Instead she plans on trying to get back with her ex, but from what she's told me any sort of future with him seems very very unlikely. Tried telling her this and how going down this route won't go down well but that's what she's chosen.

No choice but to watch her mess up college and get heart broken again.