"Just wanted To Thank You Guys
For setting our program back 3 years.
The
damn guy played for you and is obsessed with JoePa and you couldn't
offer him a damn contract on time? He dresses like the man, for fvck's
sake. In south Florida!! This dope waddles around our sideline dressed
like a McDonald's manager while clinging to life in sweltering heat.
He's covered in butt sweat with a face redder than a baboon''s assss
before the ball is even kicked off. Every home game is a fight for his
life.
He went 0-4 against the 4 best teams on our schedule this year. Average score 17-42.
He's 1-12 against teams that won 8 or more games while at Miami.
His best friend allows 500 yards a game while eating his own boogers in the booth.
We
personally helped him pack and were ready to drive him to the airport
and you fcking blew it. I hope Nunchuck becomes your coach and all his
limbs fall off on opening weekend. A pox on your homes and families for
sending us this transfat loving, gluten shoveling, lumpy fa--ot. Take
him back already. We hope his tie gets caught in a high-powered ceiling
fan.
I hope your Athletic director gets crabs.
Cheers."