Just finished up my intake interview with the good people at Sound Mental Health in Seattle. This is mostly for them to figure out what services I need. Psychiatrist, therapist and so on. Took about an hour and a half. I've worked with these guys before, in the period between 2004-2006, when I first got sick but I tapered off as I realized the therapist and I weren't a good match and we kept talking about my daddy issues. As riveting as those are, not helpful.
Since those old records were missing (thanks to a recent expansion), I got asked the usual questions about my life and while giving all this information, I realized that I was, to quote our leader and comrade-in-arms Bagels, being charming as balls. The lady was totally soaking me up! In my 20s, I was always very self-conscious about the way I presented myself, because of insecurity and just struggling with having Asperger's. Somewhere along the way (and in my 30s), I adapted, took control and now especially in my good days can be pretty damned awesome and charismatic.
She told me that I seemed very together. Well, maybe in comparison to some of the people she probably has worked with but no. I had to correct her and say that I'm a mess. She looked sympathetic and said some people are better at hiding it than others and sometimes, that results in them not getting enough of the help they need. I also went on and on about how awesome my friends are, which should be no surprise to any of you. You know the story, how people in terribly dark places can build friendships with foundations that are freakishly study. She seemed impressed but I'm sorta dreading the judgement I'll get from the therapist when I talk about my online buddies. But then, the descriptive word "online" doesn't really hold muster when you consider how integrated we all are and how I'm already making active plans to meet at least two of them (and I'm sure it won't stop there).
After looking over the data, she concluded that I'm an excellent candidate for therapy, said I'd get a phone call within the week with the referral and said what a pleasure it was to meet me. And then, once back in my car, I smelled dog shit. That's right. I stepped in dog shit and now bits of it remain stuck to the pedals and the floor. This might just be an excellent metaphor for mental health in general.
I also made some further comments to narrow down the selection. Not sure whether I'd be more comfortable with male or female. I don't think it's a matter of gender as much as it is about personalities. I need someone sensitive, gay-friendly, familiar with chronic pain issues and just all-around awesome. She said she'd get on that. Hoping the first choice works out but it can be challenging making that connection. I'll report more after the first appointment.