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[snaildog]

How do you guys tend to handle short-term relationships when the girl wants a longer term one? I'm not trying to gloat or anything, but honestly each girl I've 'gone out' with seems to get obsessed with me, and I get the impression that they'd be quite happy to just grow up, have kids and live out the rest of our days together. My current girlfriend said at the beginning that she wanted to be casual and have a bit of fun; after half a year she has just put off moving cities to her preferred university solely to stay with me.

I do feel like an arsehole for it, but I just don't think I can like any girl enough to stay with them much more than a year, let alone my whole life. I do care extremely deeply for them at the time, and WANT to love them (sometimes I think I do), but the spark just never seems to last.

For people who know what I mean (I think this is similar for a lot of guys?), how do you handle it? Do you make it clear at the start that you probably don't want it to be hugely long-term? Or do you just randomly call it off and break their heart? I mean I guess it'd be easier for little two-week flings, but I'm talking more of half a year to a year. I do LIKE having proper relationships where you bond and spend a lot of time together and get to know each other; I'm never in it for just the sex or anything.

Just reading over that I'm definitely not some stud or anything. I'm only 19 (although my girlfriend is 29) and this is my fourth real relationship.

 

[dem]

Just reading over that I'm definitely not some stud or anything. I'm only 19 (although my girlfriend is 29) and this is my fourth real relationship.

No shit she wants to settle down.. Shes 30 fucking years old.

 

[snaildog]

29 damn it! I'm talking more generally though.

 

[norinrad21]

Her clock is tikking, she wants to be secure and at 19 you aren't exactly a provider nor a giver, better break it up unless you are really serious about this

 

[Cool]

29? Wow. I'm 17, and 19 obviously is two years away and two years isn't that long, I just could never picture myself with someone almost 30 that young.

It could work. You're young, I mean, I know I'm younger, but damn, how many girls could possibly have wanted to settle down with you when you're only 19? Damn...

Regardless, best of luck working it all out.

Oh...

and...

just to get it out of the way...


FHUTA

PHP

THIS THREAD IS WORHTLESS W/O PIX.

 

[olimario]

If you don't feel you can continue the relationship, don't. The only real reason you need is that you're not interested in a relationship any longer. Don't lead her on and be honest when explaining your reasoning and everything should be fine.

Better to break off a relationship with no spark than to continue one without one. If you do continue it, you'll both end up unhappy.

 

[snaildog]

Her clock is tikking, she wants to be secure and at 19 you aren't exactly a provider nor a giver, better break it up unless you are really serious about this

29? Wow. I'm 17, and 19 obviously is two years away and two years isn't that long, I just could never picture myself with someone almost 30 that young.

I don't think her age really makes any difference. She's a uni student like me, and she's very outgoing and fun-loving; just much smarter than most girls my age I couldn't picture going out with someone almost 30 either, but if I didn't know her age it'd be just like any other relationship.

If you don't feel you can continue the relationship, don't. The only real reason you need is that you're not interested in a relationship any longer. Don't lead her on and be honest when explaining your reasoning and everything should be fine.

I definitely haven't tried to lead her on or anything, and to be honest she doesn't talk of settling down (that was mostly the other girls), but when she told me she was only staying in the city because of me I got a bit of a fright.

Better to break off a relationship with no spark than to continue one without one. If you do continue it, you'll both end up unhappy

I don't think you understand me. I AM happy to let it continue for now; I adore this woman. But I also know that I'm not going to marry her. I'm not talking about this particular relationship, but more generally. From reading your posts you seem to (think you) have found the perfect fairy tale girlfriend that you want forever - congratulations. But a lot of guys are different to you.

Don't tell anyone, but I actually agree with Olimario. If she's actually putting off going to university just to stay with you... you need to let her go.

Well she is still goingn to uni, just not her preferred one in the city where all her friends and family are. She initially planned to come here for a year only, because it has the early papers she wants to do. When she told me she was staying I kind of weirded out and we had one of those long awkward relationship talks. I told her that I like her now but that I am not making any promises about the future and all that; she's staying anyway.

 

[VitaBone]

If you don't feel you can continue the relationship, don't. The only real reason you need is that you're not interested in a relationship any longer. Don't lead her on and be honest when explaining your reasoning and everything should be fine.

Better to break off a relationship with no spark than to continue one without one. If you do continue it, you'll both end up unhappy.

Depends..... I mean, the problem I see is the age difference.............. it could work, it could not work. If he should continue on, he'll run into some interesting problems with the normal structure of today's dating masses. Honestly if you haven't felt odd with dating a 29 yr old, then I suppose that's fine and if she doesn't look, even better, just saying, that adds some unspoken stress from what I've experienced.

Honestly though, it sounds like... you're still searching for what you want.... is it with her.?? Maybe..... but you may want to ask yourself what is it you want from this life since you only live it once.

 

[keeblerdrow]

Piece of advice: If you're not looking for serious, marriage-oriented relationships, stop dating women in their late 20's or older.

 

[Naked Snake]

PIX PLZ KTHX

 

[snaildog]

Depends..... I mean, the problem I see is the age difference.............. it could work, it could not work. If he should continue on, he'll run into some interesting problems with the normal structure of today's dating masses. Honestly if you haven't felt odd with dating a 29 yr old, then I suppose that's fine and if she doesn't look, even better, just saying, that adds some unspoken stress from what I've experienced.

Honestly though, it sounds like... you're still searching for what you want.... is it with her.?? Maybe..... but you may want to ask yourself what is it you want from this life since you only live it once.

This relationship is still in the good phase. I am just wondering how guys with similar mindsets handle breaking up in general. What I want from life? Maybe some day settling down if I find the perfect girl, but now I am happy to sample a few different goods, I guess in roughly six month / yearly gaps with gaming breaks in between I kind of plan to fly off to America or somewhere when I get my degree and just go nuts.

Piece of advice: If you're not looking for serious, marriage-oriented relationships, stop dating women in their late 20's or older.

Haha, I'm not chasing older women or anything. My last girlfriends were 16, 18, 16. I kind of wish I hadn't put her age into the topic now.

PIX PLZ KTHX

http://www.ga-forum.com/showthread.php?t=8898

 

[capslock]

Well, that's a big age difference, but what's good for the goose is good for the gander I guess. However, at 27, I could never date a 19 year old.