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[Humdinger]

Two questions for everyone on GAF:

1. Would you trade your freedom to provide for a woman and potentially raising a family with her?
2. I'm open to hearing people's experiences with relationships and whether the responsibility of being a provider is worth the squeeze?

Here are my two cents on those questions:

1. Nope. But then, I'm 62, so the question is moot. The only sensible reason to get married is to have kids, and I never wanted kids. Even if I did, I'm well past the point of considering that as an option. I was married for a few years back in my 40s, but I divorced. I don't think I am well suited for marriage. Many (most?) guys probably are, but I'm not. I've lived single for a long time, and I'm happy/content with that lifestyle.

I am assuming, btw, you are talking about marriage. I'm puzzled by this, because you have a MGTOW acronym. As you must know, the basic definition of MGTOW is someone who is avoiding marriage and cohabitation (although it has morphed over the past few years into "avoid relationships with women").

2. Being a provider wasn't worth it for me, but everyone's situation is different. My wife changed significantly after the marriage. I felt increasingly like a wallet, unappreciated. However, I also think it's true that men are evolutionarily programmed to want to provide for, take care of, and protect women (and their children) -- and that most men find their purpose, meaning, and satisfaction in doing that (and in raising a family). Living single is not for everyone; it's not for most men. If you choose that path, you will need to build resiliency, develop interests, and find sources of meaning and purpose outside of the traditional structures.

 

[nush]

Got a new job. Been getting a lot of female attention in said job, and there's this one particular woman that's showing interest.

Don't screw the crew.

Now ignore this advice and keep this topic updated for our entertainment.

 

[Ownage]

It's good to receive attention. You do not have to act on it. Be nice and make friends and don't hurt any hearts or mislead anyone. Some folks may disagree with me but I believe it's not wise to date or sleep around where you work. I don't care what the excuse is - don't do it.

If thinking about being in a relationship is going to give you anxiety, then there's no need to do it. When the right person comes along you will not only feel great but it will be the easiest thing in the world. Until then, enjoy where you are in your life.

 

[Geomancer86]

Don't screw the crew.

Now ignore this advice and keep this topic updated for our entertainment.

This. Don't shit where you eat.

If she is looking for a hookup/partner at work, that's your first red flight right there, you go to work to work, not to screw.

You will be fearing the horns as soon as she gets another job.

 

[Drake]

This. Don't shit where you eat.

If she is looking for a hookup/partner at work, that's your first red flight right there, you go to work to work, not to screw.

You will be fearing the horns as soon as she gets another job.

ugh, been there, done that. When things go south which they inevitability will it makes things at work beyond awkward. I would literally dread seeing her at work. The only thing that made this feeling go away was getting a new job.

Never ever, ever again.

 

[Geomancer86]

That's why also if you are already in a relationship, even if it sounds great, less travel costs, more contact/etc. you never, ever, recommend and get your partner a job at your job.

It's not even the nepotism, but having time off as a couple and having something different each one to share after work, that's really a gift and losing that kills relationships.

Edit: too late to edit my previous post... I meant red flags, lol

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Dude, don't do it unless she sticks with you for like two years without screwing you over, has the best body ever, and no baggage, and it happens as a natural side effect of life. Never search for the shit, and fucking never bang coworkers.

Source: I'm not an incel reddit dude because I've been in so many contemporary relationships that I've lost faith in the morals, loyalty and general have-their-shit-together-ness of my peers. I've taken a year off dating, and it's been an absolute stress free utopia.

 

[fran.fernandez]

Relationship is for enjoying. If u get anxiety u r not ready or just not into it. Also u don’t need to provide anything .

 

[StylishMGTOW]

Been busy with work, I apologize for the long wait for an update. Also, HAPPY NEW YEARS EVE!

 

[StylishMGTOW]

Update: now that the dust has settled at work, I'm able to actually have time for myself. The women situation at work hasn't changed: been getting more female attention at work, especially from higher-ups. I don't want to get too specific as some of these women play games and there might be a small chance they frequent this forum, so I'm going to be a vague as possible.

One keeps inviting me to her get-together with her friends, while another seems infatuated with me, to the point where she was howling at me (you know, how guys did that to women back in the day?). To be honest, while I do like the attention that I get from them, it's getting to the point where I just want to be left alone and do my job. Clock in, clock out, without the hassle of having to communicate with anyone. The one woman in question, the reason why this thread was made, I am still very much into. She is my kryptonite, but I'm trying my best not to show that I'm interested in her as I almost showed her my cards, so to speak. Everything about her on the outside really takes out the masculine energy in me:

- The way she walks. Apparently she learned her way of walking from her mother? Well anyways, she did a good job in raising her, because whenever she walks past me, I'm just like...

- The way she talks
- Her mannerisms
- Her feminine, yet capable way of going about her job. I find her way of going about things as a major turn-on. Again, feminine, yet assertive. She gives off mommy vibes.
- Her body... *chef's kiss*.

Despite all this, however, I wish to remain stoic in this journey and not give in to all this temptation as you guys have pointed out. The attention takes a lot out of me, to the point where I try my darnedest to find a task where I can be alone. I would love to go more in depth but, like I said above, I don't want to get outed.

 

[nush]

Update: now that the dust has settled at work, I'm able to actually have time for myself. The women situation at work hasn't changed: been getting more female attention at work, especially from higher-ups. I

Pressing X so hard now.

 

[RJMacready73]

Got a new job. Been getting a lot of female attention in said job, and there's this one particular woman that's showing interest. She's awesome, likes the same things as I do, and is just as awkward of a person as I am. Many things between us seem compatible; but, there's this very real feeling, I think, only men will feel when going into relationships with women: the feeling of needing to provide for her (and the hypothetical 'life' that you and her will build together), to always be at the top of my game when trying to swoon her, and overall, just giving your time and energy to building a future with her (sounds fucking exhausting). The thought fills me with a lot of energy (to being able to express my masculine traits to her), but also an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. The anxiety of responsibility adding weight to my life.

But then the realization came to me: I'm still technically single. The realization flushed the anxiety away from my system so fast. I love getting female attention, but the freedom is just so... peaceful.

Two questions for everyone on GAF:

1. Would you trade your freedom to provide for a woman and potentially raising a family with her?
2. I'm open to hearing people's experiences with relationships and whether the responsibility of being a provider is worth the squeeze?

Thanks for reading. I'm being intentionally vague here, so if it looks like I'm withholding information, it's because I am.

My man you are waaaaaay overthinking this shit, just fucking roll with it and see where the train goes

 

[IntentionalPun]

You’ve been spending too much time reading MGTOW garbage.

 

[Rentahamster]

You’ve been spending too much time reading MGTOW garbage.

BTW, how's your wife's perfect butthole?

 

[jonnyp]

First rule: don't shit where you eat.

 

[Reizo Ryuu]

Bruv, you're still on this overthinking train?
Just get to know her already.

 

[JCK75]

I went through the shittiest of shitty marriages, but being a dad is something I wish I had done earlier..
and once I ended that shitty marriage I wasted almost no time looking for someone I am more compatible with.. I could have enjoyed being single and fucked around..
but I don't want to be single.. I like having a partner and I like doing stuff for her and her kids.

 

[nush]

I went through the shittiest of shitty marriages, but being a dad is something I wish I had done earlier..
and once I ended that shitty marriage I wasted almost no time looking for someone I am more compatible with.. I could have enjoyed being single and fucked around..
but I don't want to be single.. I like having a partner and I like doing stuff for her and her kids.

I fucked around as soon as divorce proceedings started, by the time they were finished I was good to go and met someone within 4 months.

 

[touchfuzzy]

I don't think this dweeb is getting attention from any females anywhere.

 

[Majmun]

Turning 40 this year. Almost 3 years single. My previous relationship lasted for around two years. THe relationship prior to that one lasted also around 2 years.

Having the best time of my life. I'm glad I'm one of the "alone but not lonely" type of guys. People who desperately NEED to be in a relationship are weirdo's to me. Just enjoy your freedom, do whatever you want, fuck whoever you want. You don't NEED anyone else.

I'm someone who can jump in a releationship whenever I want. But I just don't want to. And I will probably remain single for the rest of my life, because I want to. Many family members and friends of mine think that I should be with someone. But I don't want to. And my releationships never last because in the end I enjoy being alone more. And there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[Krappadizzle]

You don't need anyone. But growing with someone is the best journey I've ever undertaken and I'd do it all exactly the same way again.

Side Note: It also sucks too sometimes. But in my humble opinion, I've been with a lot of women before my wife and all of those experiences shaped a lot of who I was at the time, but there's something that comes with a relationship that can only happen with time and discipline and the fruits of that labor are much sweeter than anything before it.​

 

[Winter John]

We hired a kid to help out in the kitchen and do general cleaning shit. He wasn’t a bad looking kid so I was kinda surprised when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. Then he started laying down the same type of dumb bullshit the op has and I knew what was up. No confidence in himself. At some point in his past there’d been a Mary Sue who refused to blow him and it had fucked his head up. So I did what any good boss would do. I got him stoned out of his fuckin mind and set him up with a willing young lady. You know who ain’t talking about stoicism? That kid. A bunch of weed and a couple of blowjobs fixed that boy’s world view. To anyone who finds themselves starting to use nonsense like stoicism as a smokescreen for their failures. I suggest you do the same. A large bag of weed and a willing young lady can help cure many of life’s ills.

 

[nush]

We hired a kid to help out in the kitchen and do general cleaning shit. He wasn’t a bad looking kid so I was kinda surprised when he said he didn’t have a girlfriend. Then he started laying down the same type of dumb bullshit the op has and I knew what was up. No confidence in himself. At some point in his past there’d been a Mary Sue who refused to blow him and it had fucked his head up. So I did what any good boss would do. I got him stoned out of his fuckin mind and set him up with a willing young lady. You know who ain’t talking about stoicism? That kid. A bunch of weed and a couple of blowjobs fixed that boy’s world view. To anyone who finds themselves starting to use nonsense like stoicism as a smokescreen for their failures. I suggest you do the same. A large bag of weed and a willing young lady can help cure many of life’s ills.

I could see my youngest brother going down the long painful path of no pussy that I walked down before I learned how shit worked. So unknown to him I hooked him up with my girlfriends slutty sister. It didn't completely change his ideas on women but it was a solid course correct when he needed it.

 

[SF Kosmo]

The idea that men have to provide for or earn more than women is obsolete and unsustainable in a changing world where young men are attaining and making less. Relationships are a partnership and there's more you can/should bring to the table than just money.

As for the rest, well, you might just not be ready. I spent my 20s single by choice, dating casually when I wanted to and sometimes not bothering with dating when I didn't want to. When I got to my 30s I felt more ready for real relationships. I think as a man, these are also kind of peak dating years.

I'm living the domestic life with a family now and I'm happy. Being single is fun and exciting in its own way, but coming home to the right partner and raising a kid is kind of the best.

 

[Winter John]

I could see my youngest brother going down the long painful path of no pussy that I walked down before I learned how shit worked. So unknown to him I hooked him up with my girlfriends slutty sister. It didn't completely change his ideas on women but it was a solid course correct when he needed it.

Right. I don’t know what the fuck stoicism is but I recognise a grift when I see it. The problem is these kids get pulled into all that purity ring and influencer shit because they never had anyone looking out for them. I guarantee a few bags of weed and a couple of blowjobs would fix most of em right up

 

[Geomancer86]

You got me at a few bags of weed.

 

[Bojji]

MGTOW and red pill are fucking up society to the same degree as feminists, women hating incels and entitled women are not a good match. Relationships can be amazing and one of the best things in life if you can find good partner.

 

[Days like these...]

Just don't stick your dick in crazy I'm still trying to extricate myself from that.

 

[Wolfpact1983]

„The way she walks“ hmmm

 

[Ikutachi]

„The way she walks“ hmmm

 

[NeoGiffer]

Got a new job. Been getting a lot of female attention in said job, and there's this one particular woman that's showing interest. She's awesome, likes the same things as I do, and is just as awkward of a person as I am. Many things between us seem compatible; but, there's this very real feeling, I think, only men will feel when going into relationships with women: the feeling of needing to provide for her (and the hypothetical 'life' that you and her will build together), to always be at the top of my game when trying to swoon her, and overall, just giving your time and energy to building a future with her (sounds fucking exhausting). The thought fills me with a lot of energy (to being able to express my masculine traits to her), but also an overwhelming feeling of anxiety. The anxiety of responsibility adding weight to my life.

But then the realization came to me: I'm still technically single. The realization flushed the anxiety away from my system so fast. I love getting female attention, but the freedom is just so... peaceful.

Two questions for everyone on GAF:

1. Would you trade your freedom to provide for a woman and potentially raising a family with her?
2. I'm open to hearing people's experiences with relationships and whether the responsibility of being a provider is worth the squeeze?

Thanks for reading. I'm being intentionally vague here, so if it looks like I'm withholding information, it's because I am.

Spoiler

 

[Hohenheim]

It's 2024, and you don't need to worry about "providing" for her.
I'm in a long term relationship, have kids and all that, and I still have my freedom to do my stuff (gaming,music etc)
If you have to give up on your passions because of a relationship, it's definitly not the right relationship.

 

[Whitecrow]

Its not matter of providing or not. Its about you being yourself, and playing life's game with a partner that likes to play on the same rules as you.

Its true that finding a good partner in the current world is hard af, but the problem is not if providing is worth, but who are you providing to.

 

[Bojji]

It's 2024, and you don't need to worry about "providing" for her.
I'm in a long term relationship, have kids and all that, and I still have my freedom to do my stuff (gaming,music etc)
If you have to give up on your passions because of a relationship, it's definitly not the right relationship.

Exactly that, I set boundaries with my woman pretty quickly. She has her hobbies and I have mine, we also have 2 screens so I can play games and she is watching her favorite shows. I wouldn't be in a relationship with someone that would want to change me, I also don't want to change her.