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[Days like these...]

I have a friend who is a paramedic and over the weekend we were hanging out at a festival and he was telling me some crazy stories...

Let me just cut to the chase. Don't use carrots they tend to break and then when the paramedics come you will want to die from embarrasment. :lol

 

[temp]

"Don't use carrots for wha........OHHHHHH NOO"

 

[tralfazz]

"Million to one shot doc, million to one"

 

[demi]

suerte already told me this story

 

[Days like these...]

According to my friend all the guy could say on his way to the hospital was I'm so sorry guys I'm so sorry! :lol

 

[Escape Goat]

"My friend" yeah....sure

 

[galeninjapan]

Where do you live? Some dick stuck a carrot up my ass, broke it and the left. I had to call 911.

 

[Days like these...]

"My friend" yeah....sure

I was waiting for this reply :lol

Thanks for not disappointing!

 

[xsarien]

"Million to one shot doc, million to one"

And I was waiting for this one.

 

[Deleted member 1235]

I used to hostel with radiologist students at the hospital, when on placement they said this shit was all the time!

Dude: "I was in the garden, naked, right and um......"
Radiologist: "Don't worry sir, everyone has naked gardening accidents" *snicker*

They said some of the weirder shit was a shampoo bottle and a girl with a penchant for sticking drawing pins up her fanny. Not just once either, she was a regular.

 

[ShadowRed]

Couldn't he have just taken a dump to get it to come iut. It wasn't like he superglued it up his butt, was it?

 

[Scrow]

Couldn't he have just taken a dump to get it to come iut. It wasn't like he superglued it up his butt, was it?

that's what i was thinking

 

[alejob]

I had a classmate who got in trouble for masturbating a carrot once in art class.
This reminds me of Jackass the movie, unfortunetly.

 

[rs7k]

My mom's cousin is a nurse at a hospital in Montréal.

I've heard everything from people going to the ER for masturbating with a vacuum cleaner, both up their ass and "sucking" on their dicks and destroying them, to having sex with a dobermann and having their privates ripped off.

Society is fucked people :lol

 

[Dragmire]

This doesn't have to be a gay thing at all. If you think all gay guys like it in the ass, then you're as dumb as the guy that did this.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

This doesn't have to be a gay thing at all. If you think all gay guys like it in the ass, then you're as dumb as the guy that did this.

i dont know if i'd like it in the ass and i'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

 

[Boomer]

i dont know if i'd like it in the ass and i'd like to keep it that way, thank you very much.

:lol

There's a rumor around here that our local meteorologist had to go to the ER for a gerbil.

 

[aoi tsuki]

Spoilered text for those of you who don't want too much information...

Couldn't he have just taken a dump to get it to come iut. It wasn't like he superglued it up his butt, was it?

Spoiler

For one, the rectal walls absorb water, meaning the longer it's in there, the harder it will be to get out, even with lube. Secondly, it's not like the rectum is a piece of PVC pipe. It's soft and pliable, and very sensitive. It's possible it got stuck in the side and his anus contracted as a reaction of the pressure. The doctors probably gave him some sort of muscle relaxer and pain suppressant to get the carrot out there. i can't imagine a carrot is the kind of thing you'd want up there, since they're pretty hard and rough.

A friend of a friend of mine is an EMT, and he talks about all kinds of things being in cavities that they shouldn't be... flashlights, light bulbs, cell phones, bottles, etc. The guy or girl who used the light bulb evidentally got pretty badly messed up since the thing broke.

This doesn't have to be a gay thing at all. If you think all gay guys like it in the ass, then you're as dumb as the guy that did this.

Spoiler

Agreed. i'm not gay and