Blue city: "Wow, cholera really made a come-back now that we are using grey water for everything and can't get anything fresh. Turns out there is a good reason why folks went to grocery stores every 2 days instead of growing veggies off their balconies, that shit doesn't actually work 'cause it takes MONTHS for stuff to grow!!!! Not to mention desalination needs a TON of power and since we got rid of all the nuke plants we have to spend 8 hours a day at the communal human powered fly wheel just to get enough charge to fire it up for 2 hours a week. Just gotta dodge the cannibal gangs on my way there."Red States:"Alright city slickers, no more water, no more food, no more gas. Let's see how you survive now!"
California:"Yo NY! I just bagged a desalination plant on Temu. Free shipping!"
New York: "I Imported bagels from Montreal. Better than ours, honestly."
Washington (state):"I traded three lattes for a hydroelectric deal with Canada. Power's back, baby."
Texas:"Uh… guys? We just invaded Panama. We own the Canal now!"
Florida:"Good shit. I'll send a postcard after I cruise through it next week."
Massachusetts: "We're growing kale in old Dunkin' Donuts now. Zero miles farm‑to‑table."
Oregon:"We put a toll on I‑5. Blue states: use boats."
California: "LOL there's literally a port in my backyard. You thought we needed your road?"
Illinois:"Also, all your young people just moved here for jobs. Thanks for the free labor market!"
Colorado:"Wait, why am I in this group? I was just skiing."
Red States:"…you weren't supposed to adapt this fast."
Red State: "Notice how peaceful it is? Tomorrow we are all gonna get together to raise a new barn for Jeb. Might bag myself a deer on the hike back. With all the lawyers starving in them there cities we can actually get a lot done now. Portioning up all the mass agriculture farmland into family plots with proper crop rotation and livestock management so we don't need to ship basics everywhere. Made a nice deal with Mexico for their farm labor to come up just for the harvest season and help us out. Plenty of gas with all those Texas refineries as well."