alcoholism - how to deal with it
- Thread starter samar11
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I am not dealing with it, but like any addiction it takes a lot of effort from the person suffering from the illness, and it takes a wonderful support system to keep that individual on the right track. There will be good days and bad days, and you'll never truly be "cured" of alcaholoism, but you just need to be sure to take one day at a time and you'll eventually get better. Go to AA meetings and take them seriously.
They are also serious about removing enablers and toxic people from your social equation. It may be tough and you'll lose a lot of those people who you consider to be "friends," but they are not there to help you.
They are also serious about removing enablers and toxic people from your social equation. It may be tough and you'll lose a lot of those people who you consider to be "friends," but they are not there to help you.
abstract alien
Member
Not that I would know anything about this, but it seems like it would help to stay busy and have other interests you can spend time with. Being active might help as well.
OminoMichelin
Member
^both of these. Boredom, depression and bad company are an alcoholic's worst enemies.
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
At the end, I prefered to be a functional alcoholic.
OminoMichelin
Member
I...what?
Sober support is key. I'm going through it, and I was good for like four months, but the last three weeks have been really stressful and I failed miserably. Like someone else said, boredom and stress can really fuck with you.
I picked up some Anabuse to help out, and also am going to a separate therapist in addition to the outpatient sessions I've been attending.
Anyway, I'd be glad to talk to you about it if you want to PM me, but I'm not exactly the paragon of non alcoholism here
I picked up some Anabuse to help out, and also am going to a separate therapist in addition to the outpatient sessions I've been attending.
Anyway, I'd be glad to talk to you about it if you want to PM me, but I'm not exactly the paragon of non alcoholism here
p_xavier
Authorized Fister
I enjoy being drunk better than anything else. It makes life enjoyable. I tried many times to quit, based on other recommandations, but I still prefer to continue drinking.
I sometimes feel like this, though being married is quite the barrier to being happy that way.
OminoMichelin
Member
Living in a perennial state of stupor is not the answer to your problems. Plus, alcohol fucks your body up relatively quickly.
But eh, I don't really wanna argue about it.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Are you trying to crawl out of that bottle OP? Or do you have a friend/relative going through it?
I feel like I was extremely close to the tipping point in my late 20s(I'm 33 now). I have, and still do, suffer with social anxiety, and it would restrict me in so many ways. I started using booze as a way of relaxing me enough to get on with normal everyday tasks(go to the store, post office, get a haircut, etc). It got so bad that I used to have a drink just to take the garbage out. I'd reserve a small amount each time in a small plastic bottle so that I'd always have just enough booze to get more booze. I was ashamed of just how bad things were getting.
Then something happened. Well two things. First, miraculously, I became partnered, though at first that just made me more dependent on drinking because of how stressful and new everything was(going out, clubbing, him hosting dinner parties, etc), but gradually being in love, and the innate support of being in a relationship, helped a great deal. Sadly though, what really did it was my Mother's cancer diagnosis when I was 29. I was her primary caregiver, and as hard and helpless as things felt at times, I knew I had to be at my best for her. Too many times a supposed check up turned into an all day and night thing as she needed to wait for an available bed and ended up staying in the hospital for 3-5 days. Being drunk wasn't going to make anything better. I needed to be clear headed. There was an onslaught of new information to absorb. So many doctors names to remember, medications and their quantities and frequencies to keep track of, dietary changes, etc. The last thing I wanted is for my mother to have to worry about me in any way, so I just stopped drinking.
After her passing the next year, and everything at followed, I'm glad to have never gone back to the point that I was at. Even with the stress of uprooting my life and establishing a company 1600 miles away from NYC to PR, I just find ways to cope. My partner is a huge help just by being someone I can talk to, but also just the fact that facing my Mom's cancer battle and passing was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, so I try to realize that strength when I feel overwhelmed.
Then something happened. Well two things. First, miraculously, I became partnered, though at first that just made me more dependent on drinking because of how stressful and new everything was(going out, clubbing, him hosting dinner parties, etc), but gradually being in love, and the innate support of being in a relationship, helped a great deal. Sadly though, what really did it was my Mother's cancer diagnosis when I was 29. I was her primary caregiver, and as hard and helpless as things felt at times, I knew I had to be at my best for her. Too many times a supposed check up turned into an all day and night thing as she needed to wait for an available bed and ended up staying in the hospital for 3-5 days. Being drunk wasn't going to make anything better. I needed to be clear headed. There was an onslaught of new information to absorb. So many doctors names to remember, medications and their quantities and frequencies to keep track of, dietary changes, etc. The last thing I wanted is for my mother to have to worry about me in any way, so I just stopped drinking.
After her passing the next year, and everything at followed, I'm glad to have never gone back to the point that I was at. Even with the stress of uprooting my life and establishing a company 1600 miles away from NYC to PR, I just find ways to cope. My partner is a huge help just by being someone I can talk to, but also just the fact that facing my Mom's cancer battle and passing was the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with, so I try to realize that strength when I feel overwhelmed.
A Fish Aficionado
I am going to make it through this year if it kills me
See a therapist that specializes in addiction. Group therapy has its benefits as well. Not heard good things about AA programs.
Just to caveat this - AA meetings vary wildly. It took me months to even find one I could tolerate, and even then it drives me crazy. I largely prefer one- on-one therapy. That said, going through the steps, I think, would only make me worse given how cynical and jaded I am.
It works for plenty of people that I know, though, but it isn't for everyone. If it works for you, more power to ya.
Mistake
Member
Oh I know. They push religion quite a bit, which isn't everyone's cup of tea either. That guy came out catholic afterward. If you don't want to do that, therapy is fine too, but I think the most important thing is to surround yourself with positive people.
It's actually kinda sick, but I go to be reminded that I haven't hit rock bottom yet, and seeing all of those guys makes me think "holy shit, I do not want to end up like these guys."
Probably not the best outlook, but hey , it's an hour I'm not drinking.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
How far down did you go?
You can do this guys, I believe in you. I never had problems with drinking (and I don't even like it that much anymore, because I really feel that it fucks my body up and there are too many problems coming with drinking). I really really believe in you guys that you can pull through.
A clear head is way better than drinking everything away... It's like sleeping the whole day and wasting your life and body. There are many people who would wish to live a normal life, live it for them.
A clear head is way better than drinking everything away... It's like sleeping the whole day and wasting your life and body. There are many people who would wish to live a normal life, live it for them.
Well, still married, no issues with my job, and for the most part my health is fine. It's really just recognizing that bingeing twice a week or more by myself at home is probably not a great idea, and while my wife is supportive of me getting better, she isn't my biggest fan when I'm hammered.
And every time the NeoGAF Notebook is late, I drink some more. So you guys are part of the problem too.
Nah you've got the right idea.
I'm pretty sure I flirted with alcoholism in the past couple years of my life. My living situation was miserable (got better fairly recently), and I would get plastered on the weekends to sort of drown out the shittiness. When it got to a point where I was consuming a good portion of a 1.75L of bourbon on the weekends, I figured that it was time to throttle back. I just put more time in working out, reading, playing an instrument, etc. I've only been doing this for a short time, but I'm already feeling better. I'll have a couple glasses of wine with my wife on a Saturday, but otherwise, I think I'm better off without. Also, it beats spending like $50/week on booze...that hurts the wallet after awhile.
Also, I've found that if you're depressed, booze does far more harm than good.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Well, still married, no issues with my job, and for the most part my health is fine. It's really just recognizing that bingeing twice a week or more by myself at home is probably not a great idea, and while my wife is supportive of me getting better, she isn't my biggest fan when I'm hammered.
And every time the NeoGAF Notebook is late, I drink some more. So you guys are part of the problem too.
That's like the best place to be, catching it right before you go down a real downward spiral, and next paycheck I'm sending the notebook 2.0 down to hobbit town!
True. But I'm still having trouble reigning it in, so hopefully at some point it clicks.
I literally drink for a living and it can be really hard to keep it in check.
If you consciously feel like you have a problem, you probably do and it's best to seek help now.
Edit: from the sounds of it you're more of a binge-r. Just cut down, don't open a beer/drink after 9PM, etc
If you consciously feel like you have a problem, you probably do and it's best to seek help now.
Edit: from the sounds of it you're more of a binge-r. Just cut down, don't open a beer/drink after 9PM, etc
Me? Yeah, I've tried "cutting down." Doesn't work. I clearly have a problem, I just haven't had it destroy my life yet
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Me? Yeah, I've tried "cutting down." Doesn't work. I clearly have a problem, I just haven't had it destroy my life yet
When was the last time you had a drink?
Last night. Like I said, the past few weeks haven't been good to me. I just picked up my Anabuse prescription though, so I should be a little better off now. It helped a ton during the four months I was sober.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
If you need someone to talk to PM me mang.
Thanks. I appreciate it.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Anytime. "rock bottom" for me was seeing dudes extract alcohol from hairspray, it can go pretty low.
I am not an alcoholic but I have several family members who are. They have pockets of sobriety in their mostly drunken lives. AA has never helped them. Therapy has never helped. They have success with only about three methods: avoid old friends and influencers, avoid places which serve alcohol as much as is possible, and remove all alcohol from home. If the temptation is there, they eventually give in. It has been difficult for some of them because they are unwilling or unable to cut ties with friends and family who contribute to an environment of temptation. So even if they succeed with the other two steps, their friends will coax them back to bars and bring alcohol into their homes.
I have never seen willful self-control work for an addict. If he keeps himself in the same environment, it is a matter of (very little) time before he is back to his old habits.
I have never seen willful self-control work for an addict. If he keeps himself in the same environment, it is a matter of (very little) time before he is back to his old habits.
When I was in Iraq, people would freeze their near-beer to get the smidgen of alcohol that was in it extracted.
People call me an alcoholic but I dont feel like im one or at least in the deeper stages as some people that I have known in my life family and friends. I drink on the weekends after a hard weeks work and sometimes once during the week depending on how hard work was. Controlling the thirst can sometimes be tricky for me though. Its really a fine line and can head south on you faster than shit. Ive learned from personal and other peoples experiences dont let emotion dictate your drinking habits. For instances if you know me you know ive had many lows in my life and thought i could drown out them at the bottom of a bottle but the reality is those feels, those issues. They are still there.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Where does your avy pic come from?
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Yowza
I think it was from a random google image search
biggersmaller
Banned
Disciprine.
That's part of it, yes.Disciprine.
gutter_trash
Banned
OP should hang-out with people who don't drink allot and avoid people who drink all the time
if you have family members or friends who are not big drinkers.. tell them your situation and hang-out with them.
avoid environments and people that will influence you to drink more
if you have family members or friends who are not big drinkers.. tell them your situation and hang-out with them.
avoid environments and people that will influence you to drink more
I used to drink heavy but have slowed down my drinking within the past year. I have a question and wonder if I am having withdrawal symptoms.
I went on vacation for 12 days, dun goofed and drank daily (on avg 3 beers and a shot a day). The last two days I had a six pack both days. I haven't drank since and for the past eight days I've been sleeping horribly and having a constant daily headache while hearing white noise. Has this happened to anyone and when do the headaches stop?
I went on vacation for 12 days, dun goofed and drank daily (on avg 3 beers and a shot a day). The last two days I had a six pack both days. I haven't drank since and for the past eight days I've been sleeping horribly and having a constant daily headache while hearing white noise. Has this happened to anyone and when do the headaches stop?
RiccochetJ
Gold Member
I just get the shakes and have vivid nightmares.
How many days of abstaining does it take for your symptoms to end?
RiccochetJ
Gold Member
Well, it's different for everyone, but it's about a month for me. The episodes lessen in how powerful they are during that first month, but it's about a month for me for them to not appear anymore.
Sucks, doesn't it?
Gets worse when you relapse and you know what you're in for to try and clean yourself up again.
Edit: If you want to talk, PM me. I haven't figured it all out, but I'll help the best I can.
CarpeDeezNutz
Member
Avoid alcohol, other users, and situations that lead to using.
Second is a support system. It does not have to be AA but I would highly recommend something involving successfully sober people. As others have said AA varies widely, which I think also leads to some not having success. Some groups are as toxic as being in a bar.
Key is people that understand. Someone who does not have this issue, even if they want you sober, cannot relate. You need to know your not alone which is the true benefit of any support group, not any steps or traditions bullshit.
You also want those people to be moving forward in sobriety. Anyone can be a dry drunk, just don't drink and be the same shitty person but even more miserable because your not drinking. No you want to hook up and surround yourself with people that put the drink down, deal with the things that made them drink, and are constantly grateful to have a day, maybe a whole lot of days.
Bonus points is a really good group of sober people not only help each other out with alcoholism but can be like a frat or adult social club giving you connections that can help in all facets of life. It's not the end being a friend of bill but a better beginning.
Therapy can also help.
TL,DR version. Admitting you have a problem and not drinking is only the beginning. Getting rid of toxic influence, having people who understand, and dealing with the things that led you here are paramount to successful and healthy sobriety.
Second is a support system. It does not have to be AA but I would highly recommend something involving successfully sober people. As others have said AA varies widely, which I think also leads to some not having success. Some groups are as toxic as being in a bar.
Key is people that understand. Someone who does not have this issue, even if they want you sober, cannot relate. You need to know your not alone which is the true benefit of any support group, not any steps or traditions bullshit.
You also want those people to be moving forward in sobriety. Anyone can be a dry drunk, just don't drink and be the same shitty person but even more miserable because your not drinking. No you want to hook up and surround yourself with people that put the drink down, deal with the things that made them drink, and are constantly grateful to have a day, maybe a whole lot of days.
Bonus points is a really good group of sober people not only help each other out with alcoholism but can be like a frat or adult social club giving you connections that can help in all facets of life. It's not the end being a friend of bill but a better beginning.
Therapy can also help.
TL,DR version. Admitting you have a problem and not drinking is only the beginning. Getting rid of toxic influence, having people who understand, and dealing with the things that led you here are paramount to successful and healthy sobriety.
RiccochetJ
Gold Member
Not the same. But thank you for pointing that thread out.
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