nush
Member
Is straight gaf ok?
Sexing women can have downsides.
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Anybody else dodged a bullet when it comes to a relationship or marriage?
- Thread starter Woggleman
- Start date
Sexing women can have downsides.
Maybe it is but from what I have seen and what I have heard from others crazy and being good in bed do not have to go hand in hand. This is what keeps people in dysfunctional relationships. It's no different than women who date bad boys because they feel more passion and chemistry.
nush
Member
As the saying goes "Don't put your dick in crazy, if you do put your dick in crazy get out before the crazy is directed at you". Those guy's that put a ring on it are thinking with their small head. I've had crazy girl sex a few times, and knew what it was, kept them at a distance and bailed before anything could get serious.
The bad boy attraction thing is completely different situation and we'd need women's input to understand it.
nush
Member
Tag checks out.
John_Ryder
Member
More like they dodged a bullet by not staying with yours truly.
Tams
Member
I mean, the clock is ticking for everything. Even the Universe.Congratulations on your children.
Still, I hope the older men reading our posts do find the right partner, it's in their own best interest, since the clocks ticking.
If you're going to have a go (and that is what you are doing, intentionally or not) at people over fertility, then why not at physical primeness?
After all, from 25 onwards it's all downhill. Less power, less strength, less flexibility, less endurance, more aches and pains, slower reflexes, less brain plasticity (thus making it harder to learn), etc.
Dr_Salt
Banned
You know you can date younger women don't you?Congratulations on your children.
Still, I hope the older men reading our posts do find the right partner, it's in their own best interest, since the clocks ticking.
nush
Member
Winter John
Member
No you didn't.
Mistake
Member
Well good news, there’s even more of them now in 2022
Nobody_Important
“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Yes. I have a story that literally no one will believe.
But the short answer is "Fuck YES" I dodged a bullet.
But the short answer is "Fuck YES" I dodged a bullet.
I lived with a girl for several years we eventually broke up. There were times it could have gone the other way and we would have gotten married or had a kid etc. She was fine but in the end it just wasnt the right fit. She was more chill, just wanted to work a regular job and stuff, I was more "go getter" constantly wanted to improve myself one way or another.
My wife now is a lot more similar in that respect.
Also that original girl is super fat now. I'm not saying that as something against fat people but if we would have gotten married and she would have gotten super fat I am not sure I would have been happy physically and that can also cause issues/tension.
My wife now is a lot more similar in that respect.
Also that original girl is super fat now. I'm not saying that as something against fat people but if we would have gotten married and she would have gotten super fat I am not sure I would have been happy physically and that can also cause issues/tension.
Nobody_Important
“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Weight gain can be rough for any side of a relationship. Just be glad your ex didn't become super into violent sex and fantasy household roleplay.
Not kidding.
Tams
Member
Cyberpunkd
Member
So have you been married and had kids before? Because if not…bro, I think you are the problem, not the girls you describe.
Was planning to propose to my girlfriend at the time, about fifteen or so years ago, but then found out - on the night I was going to propose - that she had been cheating on me with one of her colleagues. That's just the icing on the cake, mind, there's a lot of other shit that went on - constant mind games, physical abuse, coercive control - but I guess at the time I was blinded by what I perceived to be love. Looking back at it now, I feel like an idiot for having stuck with her for so long.
Dr.Morris79
Gold Member
I had the choice to buy a Ford Focus or get married, I got married
Should have bought the Focus.
Should have bought the Focus.
Last edited:
V1LÆM
Gold Member
my last relationship feels like i dodged a bullet...if you can call it that. i was stupidly in love with her, or so i thought, and put up with a lot of her shit. she was crazy, manipulative and abusive. she was seriously fucking with my mind and i had enough of it.
she would try control everything. who i spoke to/hung out with, what i bought, where i went, etc. she had to know exactly what i was doing every minute of the day. we were messaging each other pretty much every waking moment that we weren't together with her constantly asking me what i was doing/where i was/who i was with. she was obsessed with having kids and had picked all their names. she knew i wasn't ready to have kids yet and it scared me so she'd play upon that and it came to the point i hated having sex with her. she decided she was going to move in with me and our house would be like this and that. she didn't trust me a single bit despite me being obsessed with her. her excuse was she had been cheated on in the past. so had i and i had some trust issues too but i kept them in fucking check. i would never have dreamed of cheating on her and while a part of me might have been worried about her cheating i didn't let it affect our relationship. i kept that to myself because i wanted to believe i could trust her.
because i thought i could trust her i was totally open with her. i held no secrets from her and i was dumb enough to give her my email password. she came up with some excuse of why she needed it. once she got that then it went to a completely different level. she got into all my accounts. my email, facebook, twitter, etc. i didn't know that she was going into them. so she was reading every conversation i had on social media and then she'd bring stuff up like "who is Pamela you've been talking to...my friend knows her and said yous were talking?" or "you told me you did this but i found out you were doing this..." It went further than that because she would be spying on me across the internet. If i posted on a website like here for example she'd find my account and read everything I posted. I ended up paranoid as fuck and even after I broke up with her I was terrified of posting anything online and made sure if I did then there was no way she could find me.
another thing that pissed me off with her was how she treated her dad. i know it's not easy going through a divorce but seeing the way her and her mum treated that guy was disgusting. i kept thinking to myself if i don't GTFO then that's going to be me. If i stay with her she'll completely turn on me and if I have any kids with her then they'll be the same. I couldn't give a fuck if she hates me but if I had kids it'd break my heart if they hated me and didn't want to see me.
Looking back now I realise how stupid I was. That's just some of the shit I dealt with. There's more but I won't go on and on lol. I got sick of her shit eventually, broke up with her, and changed my email, phone number, and social media accounts. The only thing she knew was where I lived but since then I've moved house. It hurt breaking up with her and I admit I would have a look at her fb/instagram accounts. Turns out as soon as we broke up she found another bf, fired out 2 kids, and broke up with the bf already. So yeah i feel like I dodged a bullet. I have a feeling that her new/ex bf is getting the same treatment she gave her dad. Kinda feel sorry for him but i'm glad it's not me.
she would try control everything. who i spoke to/hung out with, what i bought, where i went, etc. she had to know exactly what i was doing every minute of the day. we were messaging each other pretty much every waking moment that we weren't together with her constantly asking me what i was doing/where i was/who i was with. she was obsessed with having kids and had picked all their names. she knew i wasn't ready to have kids yet and it scared me so she'd play upon that and it came to the point i hated having sex with her. she decided she was going to move in with me and our house would be like this and that. she didn't trust me a single bit despite me being obsessed with her. her excuse was she had been cheated on in the past. so had i and i had some trust issues too but i kept them in fucking check. i would never have dreamed of cheating on her and while a part of me might have been worried about her cheating i didn't let it affect our relationship. i kept that to myself because i wanted to believe i could trust her.
because i thought i could trust her i was totally open with her. i held no secrets from her and i was dumb enough to give her my email password. she came up with some excuse of why she needed it. once she got that then it went to a completely different level. she got into all my accounts. my email, facebook, twitter, etc. i didn't know that she was going into them. so she was reading every conversation i had on social media and then she'd bring stuff up like "who is Pamela you've been talking to...my friend knows her and said yous were talking?" or "you told me you did this but i found out you were doing this..." It went further than that because she would be spying on me across the internet. If i posted on a website like here for example she'd find my account and read everything I posted. I ended up paranoid as fuck and even after I broke up with her I was terrified of posting anything online and made sure if I did then there was no way she could find me.
another thing that pissed me off with her was how she treated her dad. i know it's not easy going through a divorce but seeing the way her and her mum treated that guy was disgusting. i kept thinking to myself if i don't GTFO then that's going to be me. If i stay with her she'll completely turn on me and if I have any kids with her then they'll be the same. I couldn't give a fuck if she hates me but if I had kids it'd break my heart if they hated me and didn't want to see me.
Looking back now I realise how stupid I was. That's just some of the shit I dealt with. There's more but I won't go on and on lol. I got sick of her shit eventually, broke up with her, and changed my email, phone number, and social media accounts. The only thing she knew was where I lived but since then I've moved house. It hurt breaking up with her and I admit I would have a look at her fb/instagram accounts. Turns out as soon as we broke up she found another bf, fired out 2 kids, and broke up with the bf already. So yeah i feel like I dodged a bullet. I have a feeling that her new/ex bf is getting the same treatment she gave her dad. Kinda feel sorry for him but i'm glad it's not me.
Last edited by a moderator:
Dr.Morris79
Gold Member
Sounds like you dodged more than a bullet with that nightmare.
darrylgorn
Member
I've been separated from my ex and have the kids 50/50. We make roughly the same so she pays me a little in child support and we're on good terms.
D
Deleted member 1159
Unconfirmed Member
SafeOrAlone
Banned
I'm not the best at relationships and haven't had a truly meaningful one in about a decade. I did have some good, long ones in high school and college which were great learning experiences.
I don't think I've ever really dodged a bullet, per say. I've never really been with someone long term, who was weighing me down or bad for me. Just not the right fit or we grew apart.
Sometimes I see people in toxic relationships and have a hard time understanding it. I'm not above wanting to be loved and all that, but I just don't see the upside.
Anecdotal, but my friend was with someone I'd consider completely toxic, for years. She was just cold, mean, and crazy. Idk how else to say it. Within six months of their marriage, she cheated with the best man.
I was shocked, but not surprised. I feel like a bad relationship can be spotted 100 miles away and I've never stayed with someone who treated me like dirt.
That's like eating a burrito with turd on top. It's no longer any good.
I hope I dont sound like I have it all figured out, bc I don't. Just one of positives is that I know a good partner for me vs a bad one.
Edit: actually, I'm not so sure about that. Idk if it qualifies, but my last serious girlfriend broke up with me shortly after college. I was devastated and still thought about her even years later.
Then one day I checked her social media, after a good handful of years, and was hit with a sort of reality check which cleansed me completely of any leftover desires I had to be with her.
It was part superficial, and realizing I wasn't attracted to her anymore, to be honest. I won't lie, that helped. But it was also just a good dose of reality vs nostalgia and memories. Realizing I was a different person now too.
So in that sense, I sort of dodged a bullet, I guess. Hard to say.
I don't think I've ever really dodged a bullet, per say. I've never really been with someone long term, who was weighing me down or bad for me. Just not the right fit or we grew apart.
Sometimes I see people in toxic relationships and have a hard time understanding it. I'm not above wanting to be loved and all that, but I just don't see the upside.
Anecdotal, but my friend was with someone I'd consider completely toxic, for years. She was just cold, mean, and crazy. Idk how else to say it. Within six months of their marriage, she cheated with the best man.
I was shocked, but not surprised. I feel like a bad relationship can be spotted 100 miles away and I've never stayed with someone who treated me like dirt.
That's like eating a burrito with turd on top. It's no longer any good.
I hope I dont sound like I have it all figured out, bc I don't. Just one of positives is that I know a good partner for me vs a bad one.
Edit: actually, I'm not so sure about that. Idk if it qualifies, but my last serious girlfriend broke up with me shortly after college. I was devastated and still thought about her even years later.
Then one day I checked her social media, after a good handful of years, and was hit with a sort of reality check which cleansed me completely of any leftover desires I had to be with her.
It was part superficial, and realizing I wasn't attracted to her anymore, to be honest. I won't lie, that helped. But it was also just a good dose of reality vs nostalgia and memories. Realizing I was a different person now too.
So in that sense, I sort of dodged a bullet, I guess. Hard to say.
Last edited:
Aesius
Member
I dated two girls in college who ended up being extreme liberals. People are entitled to their political leanings, of course, but I ended up becoming pretty conservative by my late 20s and it would have been a disaster to stay with either of them long-term. One of them is about as insufferable of a person on social media as you can possibly imagine. But in college she was pretty fun and while she was "liberal" she rarely talked politics.
I actually know a few guys who have ended up in this situation. They dated and married women pre-Trump and their wives became obsessed with politics after his election and they've only become even more entrenched since then.
I actually know a few guys who have ended up in this situation. They dated and married women pre-Trump and their wives became obsessed with politics after his election and they've only become even more entrenched since then.
prinz_valium
Member
You can easily get a 20yo pregnant at 50.Congratulations on your children.
Still, I hope the older men reading our posts do find the right partner, it's in their own best interest, since the clocks ticking.
Grildon Tundy
Member
I think I speak for most when I say I want to hear it
Ionian
Member
Generally that's how it works for marriage or engagement.
The man writes it off.
Sucks but is pretty normal.
Don't let it get to you.
Nobody_Important
“Aww, it’s so...average,” she said to him in a cold brick of passion
Okay fine lol I had mentioned a while back in the weird sexual fantasy thread that I once had a girlfriend that liked to be choked and tried to get me to let her choke me as well. This is that same girl. I just didn't go into more detail in that thread. Despite the choking stuff I kept seeing her because she was a fun person and super hot, but the old Hot/Crazy scale once again proved to be prophetic. She went from me wanting to choke her to wanting me to tie her up and then eventually asked me to whip her. Like WHIP her. With a riding crop that I didn't even know she had. That was it for me. I was out. Too weird. And too many things that could go wrong on my side if she suddenly decided to hate me. She could claim the marks were from abuse and I would have had very little defense to prove otherwise. So no fucking thanks.
Then about a year later I found out that that she was dating an old buddy of mine who is in our yearly fantasy league. They dated for nearly a year and then I saw he broke it off (she was publicly yelling at him on Facebook about it). I DM'd him out of morbid curiosity to see what happened telling him about my own experience. Turns out she basically did the same thing with him. Started off with small stuff and worked her way up to asking him for more explicit stuff. But instead of the riding crop like she asked me to do she asked him to play out rape fantasies with her. Like pretending to sneak in the house and getting her. Complete with violence. Like slapping, hitting, and forcing her. She wanted to be able to fight back too. He had the same reaction I did. He was out. Broke it off. She flipped out and accused him of being the one that wanted weird stuff and said he dumped her when she said no. EXACTLY what I was afraid of happening when she had asked me originally.
Like I get that some people are super into rough stuff and I try not to judge, but there is no shot that in this day and age I am going to be choking a woman or pretending to force her to do something even if it's just for roleplay. Even if she is literally telling me to do it to her. It's just too much for me mentally because it feels wrong to do and too easy to go wrong in about a dozen other ways.
But yeah considering how she escalated from bedroom stuff to intricate rape fantasies in just a year? She probably has a full blown medieval torture chamber in her garage at this point with a few car batteries. I definitely dodged a fucking bullet in my opinion.
I know a guy who is a liberal himself but his ex wife was fully radicalized after Trump. She would get mad at him for being not as outraged as her and if a song from male artist came on the radio she would tell him to turn it off because she had no desire to honor male voices anymore or some crap like that. It all came to a head during the Brett Kavanaugh thing when she demanded he leave for a week or two because she was so traumatized she couldn't deal with men at the time.
After two weeks away from her he realized it was the most peace he had in a while and he told her he wanted a divorce when he got home. From what I hear she puts on a feminist don't need a man persona on social media but secretly tries to get back with him in private.
Aesius
Member
Man that's awful. I hate how politics have become so pervasive now. When I was a kid, politics weren't discussed in polite company. My parents wouldn't even tell me who they voted for and they NEVER talked politics to each other or their friends.
Torrent of Pork
Banned
Friend of mine tried to matchmake me with someone who had all the red flags. On disability even though able bodied, hopelessly addicted to painkillers, claimed he couldn't work due to mental issues, commie as fuck, etc.
Look, I'm a fat-fuck of a homo, but even I have standards.
Look, I'm a fat-fuck of a homo, but even I have standards.
Torrent of Pork
Banned
I take care of my grandparents, and my grandmother and I vehemently disagree with each other on politics. That's fine, we disagree. I still love them, and will continue keeping them out of the hell of a nursing home.
How the fuck do you allow politics to affect your relationships?
plushyp
Member
Some people treat it like a religion and all heretics must be shunned.
DevilMayFlyForAWhiteGuy
Member
One of my exes was into the choking thing. I told her straight up I wouldn’t do it. She kept insisting though saying it would just be “pretend choking.” I still wouldn’t do it. She was super left-leaning and has BPD so I figured that shit would go real south real quick if things didn’t work out.
Turns out I was right as she told people I worked with that I broke up with her even though she’s the one who broke up with me, and made a story about how much of an asshole I was even though I basically did nothing wrong and she wanted to see other people.
Last edited:
Valedix
Member
I have been in 3 relationships all of which were long distance as I was desperate. All 3 had mental/family issues and made me realise that relationships are not worth my time as the amount of stress they cause is not good for me. Sex is not worth the amount of heartbreak that eventually comes, you wake up one day to find out the love of your life doesn't love you back after god knows how many years.
The relationships I was in were 1 year, 6 months and last was also 6 months I've realised I am a guy who was simply not to be with anyone and I've made peace with it, more time for me to play video games.
The relationships I was in were 1 year, 6 months and last was also 6 months I've realised I am a guy who was simply not to be with anyone and I've made peace with it, more time for me to play video games.
Last edited:
BennyBlanco
aka IMurRIVAL69
My ex from college broke my heart. I dated her for 3 years and she dropped me like a bad habit outta nowhere. Moved on with life, got married to a lovely woman with a good job, started a family, etc. Anyway I saw my ex a few months ago and barely recognized her because she got so fat.
lachesis
Member
Dodging the bullet? Nah - I was the target practice. Mayday, Mayday!!
I only have brothers, went to all boys schools in Junior high and highschool. I am not really affluent in women's psychology.... so I admit that I am a cannon fodder.
Well, I did my first blind date last Friday... first time in like 20 years? (married 15 years, divorced about 4 years ago, have a 15 yr old child that I have 50% of custody)
I was basically in "survival" mode since my divorce - and for some strange reason, people around me have been kinda rushing to introduce me to other (older) single girls for past few months in particular.
And some were like literal surprise hush-hush setup that I wasn't even told beforehand. A couple weeks ago, I was invited to my aunt's upscale apartment that overlooks the NYC for bbq party - and somehow she invited many neighbors and one of the neighbors had 2 daughters. Damn. That wasn't even a bullet - it was like a obvious giant-bomba gorillas.
Sisters, to boot, so 2 bombas side-by-side, so loud and thunderous, I thought I was talking to those leopard wearing Osaka obachans, and wanted to get out of that place ASAP.
After I left in somewhat in hurry - my aunt called me later that night and asked "so- how did you like x and y? Do you want their contact #?", and only then I realized I was actually set up by her... and I had to perform that good polite nephew dodge move.
And last weekend, I went out on a blind date with this 44 year old girl, introduced me by one of my friend's wife.
Asian, and somewhat young looking for her age, but I definitely can tell the age is really catching up to her rather quick. (My ex looked young too, but past few years, she aged quite a bit - and so I have too.. even though people still think of me as mid-30s.) - Very petite, probably around 4'11" or 5ft - probably weighs around 90lbs that I can probably lift her with one arm.
I was very nervous at this blind date after living like a monk for past 5 years - but I actually had good time talking to her. Thinking about meeting her a few more times and see where it would lead.
but I learned my lesson after my divorce. Trying to be myself and enjoy the process myself - than trying to appease the girl.
I kinda see why she didn't marry so far - other than being very short, skinny and very flat - she is actually pretty cute looking that I can see she would have been quite popular in her younger days - but some stuff that she mentioned of her reactions on certain stuff - like being genuinely get pissed off to her own young nephew/nieces for their puberty tantrum - kind piqued my radar, that she maybe still very juvenile and childish, or perhaps she's just joking? (Didn't feel like.) Nothing 100% obvious red flag, but something that I would like to know before I commit myself.
I'm actually pretty curious that she was the one who initiated meeting me after hearing about me from my friends wife (or so I heard). Being a single dad, I see why girls don't really want to bother with single dads - like I wouldn't want to deal with single moms either if I was in their shoes. Will see if I have to pull Neo moves. I'm so rusty, so more than likely I may get shot down again like usual - but at this age, I think I can handle a few shots. It's not like I've not divorced before. lol.
I only have brothers, went to all boys schools in Junior high and highschool. I am not really affluent in women's psychology.... so I admit that I am a cannon fodder.
Well, I did my first blind date last Friday... first time in like 20 years? (married 15 years, divorced about 4 years ago, have a 15 yr old child that I have 50% of custody)
I was basically in "survival" mode since my divorce - and for some strange reason, people around me have been kinda rushing to introduce me to other (older) single girls for past few months in particular.
And some were like literal surprise hush-hush setup that I wasn't even told beforehand. A couple weeks ago, I was invited to my aunt's upscale apartment that overlooks the NYC for bbq party - and somehow she invited many neighbors and one of the neighbors had 2 daughters. Damn. That wasn't even a bullet - it was like a obvious giant-bomba gorillas.
Sisters, to boot, so 2 bombas side-by-side, so loud and thunderous, I thought I was talking to those leopard wearing Osaka obachans, and wanted to get out of that place ASAP.
After I left in somewhat in hurry - my aunt called me later that night and asked "so- how did you like x and y? Do you want their contact #?", and only then I realized I was actually set up by her... and I had to perform that good polite nephew dodge move.
And last weekend, I went out on a blind date with this 44 year old girl, introduced me by one of my friend's wife.
Asian, and somewhat young looking for her age, but I definitely can tell the age is really catching up to her rather quick. (My ex looked young too, but past few years, she aged quite a bit - and so I have too.. even though people still think of me as mid-30s.) - Very petite, probably around 4'11" or 5ft - probably weighs around 90lbs that I can probably lift her with one arm.
I was very nervous at this blind date after living like a monk for past 5 years - but I actually had good time talking to her. Thinking about meeting her a few more times and see where it would lead.
but I learned my lesson after my divorce. Trying to be myself and enjoy the process myself - than trying to appease the girl.
I kinda see why she didn't marry so far - other than being very short, skinny and very flat - she is actually pretty cute looking that I can see she would have been quite popular in her younger days - but some stuff that she mentioned of her reactions on certain stuff - like being genuinely get pissed off to her own young nephew/nieces for their puberty tantrum - kind piqued my radar, that she maybe still very juvenile and childish, or perhaps she's just joking? (Didn't feel like.) Nothing 100% obvious red flag, but something that I would like to know before I commit myself.
I'm actually pretty curious that she was the one who initiated meeting me after hearing about me from my friends wife (or so I heard). Being a single dad, I see why girls don't really want to bother with single dads - like I wouldn't want to deal with single moms either if I was in their shoes. Will see if I have to pull Neo moves. I'm so rusty, so more than likely I may get shot down again like usual - but at this age, I think I can handle a few shots. It's not like I've not divorced before. lol.
Tams
Member
Yeah, I never go along with the physical violence based sex. Far too much to go wrong.
The worst case scenario is like what happened in New Zealand a few years ago. The guy chocked here to death, I assume by accident, and then just lost the plot after that. That could be any one of us if we let ourselves get in a similar situation.
Similar threads
- Locked