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[RetroGamingUK]

Went through a breakup and a hell of a lot of work stress about 3 of years ago.

One day I woke up and just felt nothing

- I lost motivation to go to the gym and play sports

- I lost my connection to music I enjoyed, like all the flavour and colour had just gone from it, the emotion had gone

- I lost my sex drive, orgasms still feel bloody incredible, but I never feel randomly aroused, fiancé has to initiate foreplay or I have to rub myself to porn to get anything started

- Our baby does the cutest things, but unlike the people around me it doesn’t make my heart melt

I described these problems to my doctor about a year ago, he put me on SSRIs, after reading about how they emotionally blunt people and can kill libido I threw them in the bin and quit my GP in disgust

Life just feels like I’m going through the motions, like I’m acting out a life rather than living it.

Has anyone else been like this before?

Do you know what caused it?

If so, how did you get over it?




Edit: Interesting video on the matter

 

[AJUMP23]

Ya I have felt empty and alone, everyone does at some point I think. We all feel worthless.

You can help cure it by doing the things you need to even when you don't feel like it. Continue to push through what your brain is telling you will help you tell your brain you will that you are motivated to do things.

Talk to others. Tell your friends how you feel, and encourage others, they will then encourage you.

Most importantly I would say read your Bible. you sill find that God values you.

 

[Tams]

Yeah, all the time.

I couldn't be bothered going hiking today, even though it's the last good day of high pressure here.

But I'm here because computer games help. They are at the least something to look forward to.

I've found physical exercise really does help and the feeling of... elation? ... lasts for most of the rest of the day. It's the getting yourself to do it that's the hardest part.

Babies are universally ugly and stupid; so don't worry about that.

 

[RetroGamingUK]

I've found physical exercise really does help and the feeling of... elation? ... lasts for most of the rest of the day. It's the getting yourself to do it that's the hardest part.

Hmm, sometimes when I’m on the treadmill and I’m really pushing it, if I’m “in the zone” and the right bit of music is playing I can get slight feelings of euphoria.

I have to completely shut off my brain to get into that state though, which is really difficult as my brain just seems to constantly flit between thoughts (a bit like changing TV channel every 10 seconds).

 

[jason10mm]

Check your testosterone.

While some sort of anti-depressant might help, I bet boosting your T will be a better long term solution, be it the shot/patch or just hitting the squat rack, getting good sleep, quitting alcohol/porn, and eating lots of meat......might be easier to just get the shot

 

[RetroGamingUK]

Check your testosterone.

While some sort of anti-depressant might help, I bet boosting your T will be a better long term solution, be it the shot/patch or just hitting the squat rack, getting good sleep, quitting alcohol/porn, and eating lots of meat......might be easier to just get the shot

Low T was my first point of call.

Throughout adolescence and adulthood I’d get random erections out of the blue but a couple of years ago that just seemed to abruptly stop.

I do have a drink every other evening when I’m feeling particularly off, but it’s red wine which I’ve been told is good for antioxidents.

I also eat quite healthily, lots of tuna and red and I avoid sugar like the plague.

I did have a T test a couple of years back when I first reported the issue to my doctor and everything came back fine, but maybe I should have another.

 

[Raven117]

You get your testosterone levels both free and total checked?

 

[jason10mm]

Low T was my first point of call.

Throughout adolescence and adulthood I’d get random erections out of the blue but a couple of years ago that just seemed to abruptly stop.

I do have a drink every other evening when I’m feeling particularly off, but it’s red wine which I’ve been told is good for antioxidents.

I also eat quite healthily, lots of tuna and red and I avoid sugar like the plague.

I did have a T test a couple of years back when I first reported the issue to my doctor and everything came back fine, but maybe I should have another.

Thats a dodgy statement coming from a doctor. Did they tell you the actual value or just say "it's ok". Because the 'accepted' values for T go waaaaaaaaaaay low for otherwise healthy men, it's calibrated for folks with hypogonadism or recovering from orchiectomy or chemo type stuff. Obviously you can just buy T these days kinda regardless of your value. If you get tested again, make sure you are doing it in the mid morning to get your peak, 'cause if that is -just- above the low end range, that means you are probably living below it for most of the day.

Another issue might be iron overload. That can present with fatigue and endocrine issues and its hard to spot on basic labs, you need to do more specific testing like a ferritin and iron binding studies. Hereditary Hemochromatosis is actually fairly common and usually easily treated with blood donation. Just a thought.

 

[Digital-Aftertaste]

Small adjustments can help, make a morning routine of going out in the morning and staring at the sun with eyes closed for 5-15 minutes. Stretching sessions and meditation, things to sort of balance you and wake you up a bit. Also cut back on the tuna for fish with less mercury, could very much be another factor there.

 

[RagnarokIV]

Get on the gear and shag the dirtiest slaaags from the local pub and/or fish and chip restaurant

 

[Mistake]

How old is your child? I have heard that some guys go through changes after having a kid and get more complacent. It's actually a natural thing to keep you home lol

 

[MaestroMike]

6 Ways to Boost Your Mood This Winter

You can enjoy this season despite the earlier sunsets and shorter days of winter.

www.drfuhrman.com

 

[jufonuk]

Went through a breakup and a hell of a lot of work stress about 3 of years ago.

One day I woke up and just felt nothing

- I lost motivation to go to the gym and play sports

- I lost my connection to music I enjoyed, like all the flavour and colour had just gone from it, the emotion had gone

- I lost my sex drive, orgasms still feel bloody incredible, but I never feel randomly aroused, fiancé has to initiate foreplay or I have to rub myself to porn to get anything started

- Our baby does the cutest things, but unlike the people around me it doesn’t make my heart melt

I described these problems to my doctor about a year ago, he put me on SSRIs, after reading about how they emotionally blunt people and can kill libido I threw them in the bin and quit my GP in disgust

Life just feels like I’m going through the motions, like I’m acting out a life rather than living it.

Has anyone else been like this before?

Do you know what caused it?

If so, how did you get over it?

Sounds like It’s depression. Talk to someone it will help. Source. I went through something in the past and had to work through it by speaking to someone.

 

[Tokio Blues]

Yes, in my case I had a very bad time, until after trial and error I was able to find the correct antidepressant.

In my particular case, I suffered from very strong fibromyalgia associated with a depressive syndrome. It was a very hard moment in my life. The medication absolutely changed me. It's worth a try honestly.

If you want, send me a direct message and we'll talk!

 

[Aces High]

Went through a breakup and a hell of a lot of work stress about 3 of years ago.

One day I woke up and just felt nothing

- I lost motivation to go to the gym and play sports

- I lost my connection to music I enjoyed, like all the flavour and colour had just gone from it, the emotion had gone

- I lost my sex drive, orgasms still feel bloody incredible, but I never feel randomly aroused, fiancé has to initiate foreplay or I have to rub myself to porn to get anything started

- Our baby does the cutest things, but unlike the people around me it doesn’t make my heart melt

I described these problems to my doctor about a year ago, he put me on SSRIs, after reading about how they emotionally blunt people and can kill libido I threw them in the bin and quit my GP in disgust

Life just feels like I’m going through the motions, like I’m acting out a life rather than living it.

Has anyone else been like this before?

Do you know what caused it?

If so, how did you get over it?

Men should always seek a second opinion from an endocrinologist before taking antidepressants.

The symptoms of depression and hormonal imbalances overlap significantly. Psychotropic medications can further worsen the situation and may leave patients feeling indifferent, causing them to simply accept their fate.

 

[Kacho]

I sometimes get this way but it's always temporary. Exercise does wonders for my state of mind. If you don't have the energy or desire to do anything I'd get your t levels checked.

Also, it's good to take a break from hobbies and do new things. When you circle back to gaming, music, whatever it should feel fresh again.

- Our baby does the cutest things, but unlike the people around me it doesn’t make my heart melt

I think that's pretty normal for dudes. It was for me. Like, I'm not a baby guy. Is this your first kid? I have three. I started bonding with them when they could communicate and the bond deepens as they get older. It's fulfilling as fuck. As long as you don't have feelings of resentment I think you'll be ok.

 

[Londo]

When I'm feeling down I found of great help concentrating on others needs. You help them, and yourself at the same time, because you keep the mind not focused on personal issues.
Try to learn how to meditate too, it's hard if you're not accustomed to, but it works a lot.

 

[ReBurn]

Mine is managed by anti-depressants. It'll probably never be cured.

 

[Reizo Ryuu]

fiancé has to initiate

Just a small thing, is your fiancé male? Fiancée is used for females.

Anyway I've experienced something similar almost a decade ago, and in the end I think I realised that even though that was shitty, there's so many other great things in life and just focus on those.

 

[RetroGamingUK]

Just a small thing, is your fiancé male? Fiancée is used for females.

Anyway I've experienced something similar almost a decade ago, and in the end I think I realised that even though that was shitty, there's so many other great things in life and just focus on those.

Female, always just called her my girlfriend until she gave birth so I never cared much about the pronunciation or spelling of it.

As for the anhedonia, I think you might be right, focus on doing what I enjoy and when I do them try to enjoy them as much as possible without distraction to get that dopamine spike.

Found an interesting video about fixing these issues so I’ll try to push myself to enjoy things more until it becomes second nature again.

 

[a multicultural team of v]

It sounds like you were given a possible solution, but threw them away due to a fear that... The antidepressants might give you side effects that are basically what you are suffering from currently? So what exactly were you afraid of happening???

 

[RetroGamingUK]

It sounds like you were given a possible solution, but threw them away due to a fear that... The antidepressants might give you side effects that are basically what you are suffering from currently? So what exactly were you afraid of happening???

Never having an erection again…

Hidden epidemic of sexual dysfunction which blamed on antidepressants

Rebecca Graham is in her early 40s and has had no sensation in her genitals for eight years since she came off the SSRI drug sertraline, which had been prescribed for symptoms of premenstrual syndrome.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Libido has been lower this last couple of years, I don’t want to kill it off for good.

 

[jason10mm]

Never having an erection again…

If you can pop a boner to porn but not to your lady, it might be porn induced erectile dysfunction. Apparently super common and not really that surprising since men typically crave sexual novelty and porn can deliver that in spades compared to the woman you've been with for years. If its lack of ANY desire though, that's probably something else.

 

[a multicultural team of v]

Never having an erection again…

Hidden epidemic of sexual dysfunction which blamed on antidepressants

Rebecca Graham is in her early 40s and has had no sensation in her genitals for eight years since she came off the SSRI drug sertraline, which had been prescribed for symptoms of premenstrual syndrome.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Libido has been lower this last couple of years, I don’t want to kill it off for good.

Ok fair enough, but that has to be a very rare case because usually it is something that comes back once you are off the med.

There are also other non SSRI antidepressants - buproprion is one, and is often prescribed instead if an SSRI does cause sexual issues.

I'm no doctor nor am I you but just making suggestions, because it's easy to get complacent thinking nothing can be done, then before you know it a couple years have gone by of feeling like shit, and it doesn't necessarily have to be that way.

 

[mitch1971]

Get on the gear and shag the dirtiest slaaags from the local pub and/or fish and chip restaurant

You romantic you.

 

[RetroGamingUK]

Get on the gear and shag the dirtiest slaaags from the local pub and/or fish and chip restaurant

That’s racist






Advice taken

 

[T-0800]

Maybe you need to focus on making other people's lives better. In turn that my help you. Also don't be ruled by your feelings or lack thereof.

 

[chakadave]

Not surprising. Looking to the world for fullfillment is something people have dealt with for a long time.

What is your relationship with spirituality?

 

[BlackTron]

Get on the gear and shag the dirtiest slaaags from the local pub

Okay

and/or fish and chip restaurant

Too fucking far

 

[DKehoe]

I went through a rough patch a few years ago and found that getting out and walking more, eating better and focusing my time on more productive things helped. However, I will say that the stuff you're talking about maybe sounds a step beyond what I was going through. I know you said you don't want to take the medication you were given and cut off your GP as a result but you might want to see if you can connect with some kind of professional, maybe a different GP, to see what they can do to help. If you don't want to take that specific type of medication then let them know and see if there's anything else they can offer. From my understanding the initial part of treating this kind of thing can be a trial and error process of seeing what works for you. So just because their first suggestion doesn't suit you doesn't mean that has to be the end of the process.

From your username I'm assuming you're also in the UK. Not sure how north or south you are but the lack of sunlight during this time of year can definitely have an impact too. Although it sounds like this has maybe been going on longer than that, but it can be a factor which makes things worse.

Hope you're feeling better soon. Whenever you need people to talk to GAF will always be here for support.

 

[Trilobit]

I've been suffering from it for time to time. This time around it doesn't seem to let go so I'm going to be going through an evaluation next year. Hopefully the root cause can be found because my intellect and emotions are so interconnected that my normally excellent memory is gone and replaced with fog. I suppose it can be some sort of defense mechanism when you've been overloaded with anxiety for example. But time will tell. I used to love thinking deeply about abstract stuff, but now I can barely form those thoughts.

Some of the symptoms sound similar to negative symptoms from schizophrenia, but I don't have other related symptoms to that illness so I'm leaning more toward some anxiety disorder as I've had severe panic anxiety earlier in my life. At this point I just want an answer and treatment no matter what so that I can feel like myself again and live the life I want.

Hope you get better, OP!

 

[DeVeAn]

Sounds like depression. I didn't even like my kid until 3 years old. Mentioned it in other threads, but actually reading and researching the Bible really helped me A LOT. This verse always gives me the feels.

The Cure for Anxiety​

25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather crops into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more important than they? And which of you by worrying can add a single day to his life’s span?

Good Luck, you will be okay!

 

[DAHGAMING]

Get on the gear and shag the dirtiest slaaags from the local pub and/or fish and chip restaurant

That stoic British stiff upper lip , from mud, through blood to the green fields beyond brother.

 

[chakadave]

Sounds like depression. I didn't even like my kid until 3 years old. Mentioned it in other threads, but actually reading and researching the Bible really helped me A LOT. This verse always gives me the feels.

The Cure for Anxiety​

25 “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is life not more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the sky, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather crops into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more important than they? And which of you by worrying can add a single day to his life’s span?

Good Luck, you will be okay!

Yep. It’s about prioritizing the eternal and not the temporary or worldly desires.

 

[RetroGamingUK]

Some of the symptoms sound similar to negative symptoms from schizophrenia, but I don't have other related symptoms to that illness so I'm leaning more toward some anxiety disorder as I've had severe panic anxiety earlier in my life. At this point I just want an answer and treatment no matter what so that I can feel like myself again and live the life I want.

Hope you get better, OP!

Think anxiety is a big part of it

I’ve been listening to relaxing music to help a lot lately and I’m finding it working, but being so stressed (and I blame this as the root cause) means my thoughts just zip all over the place so I really have to focus to connect with it.

I find just lying with my eyes closed and listening works, like below



There’s a nice warm guitar sound that kicks in around the 2 min 15 sec mark that really helps bring me down. By the end I feel a lot better, my brain must be getting drowned in oxytocin or something.

Anyway, onwards and upwards

 

[Trilobit]

Think anxiety is a big part of it

I’ve been listening to relaxing music to help a lot lately and I’m finding it working, but being so stressed (and I blame this as the root cause) means my thoughts just zip all over the place so I really have to focus to connect with it.

I find just lying with my eyes closed and listening works, like below



There’s a nice warm guitar sound that kicks in around the 2 min 15 sec mark that really helps bring me down. By the end I feel a lot better, my brain must be getting drowned in oxytocin or something.

Anyway, onwards and upwards

Yeah, I think you become so accustomed to the anxiety that it barely registers consciously anymore until your brain and body sort of shuts down most emotional input as a way to shield itself. Something that has worked for me in the past is to go back to a more 90's era mindset concerning technology. Instead of letting screens be 90% of my free time I try to make it 25% at most and instead spend time reading physical media or being with friends or just relaxing listening to music without scrolling my phone. It allows the brain to wind down in a completely different way, but it's hard at first because you feel so unstimulated and bored until you have sort of detoxed yourself. Sometimes it only takes a day, sometimes a week.

That song is amazing, I used to listen to it over and over in my youth when I was feeling especially bad. It's like it takes you on a trip somewhere else.

 

[Guy_who_thinks_hes_cool]

honestly I just play videogames (new ones) to help myself

 

[Humdinger]

Anhedonia is the central symptom of depression, so I'm guessing you are in a depression.

Depression is a symptom that has many different possible causes. I know it's not a simple matter, but try to figure out what is causing your depression. Is it your thoughts/attitudes/ideas? Is it an external circumstance that feels overwhelming somehow? Is it something metabolic (diet-related, perhaps). Is it related to some existential issue, something related to meaning or purpose in your life, or lack thereof? Social isolation? Insecurity, low self-esteem? Relationship problems? Just a general fatigue with life, overextending yourself, lack of self-care? You can't effectively address the depression if you don't know why it's there.

Be careful of physicians who are quick to write a prescription. Doctors are trained/conditioned to do little else than whip out their prescription pads. Antidepressants do help some people, but they can also create a dependency and leave underlying issues untouched.

 

[RetroGamingUK]

So I had some blood work done by the doctor

Results came back today, my vitamin D level is 44 nmol/L, so way too low.

Doctor has suggested that this is the root cause of my issues.

 

[chakadave]

So I had some blood work done by the doctor

Results came back today, my vitamin D level is 44 mil/L, so way too low.

Doctor has suggested that this is the root cause of my issues.

Yeah supplement and also go outside. Exercise and being outside can help all these issues.

 

[RetroGamingUK]

Yeah supplement and also go outside. Exercise and being outside can help all these issues.

That’s the kicker really

I live in northern England, we get about 4 weeks of sun a year.

Funnily enough it was sunny this morning, but also 5 degrees C with horrendous wind.

Apart from a bit of sun on my face sunshine is a write off.

I do tend to feel a little better in the summer months though.

 

[8bitpill]

So I had some blood work done by the doctor

Results came back today, my vitamin D level is 44 mil/L, so way too low.

Doctor has suggested that this is the root cause of my issues.

I was coming here to ask you if you were taking supplements. Because what I was reading is that might be a possibility.

I didn't go through what you're currently going through, but seven years ago in my mid thirties, I was working one day and felt like I could pass out. I was telling my wife and she suggested that I might have a vitamin deficiency. I started taking vitamins and I haven't had that issue and before then it happen every so often.

I thought it was just due to having a child that was only 7/8 months at the time, thinking it was new born fatigue.

There are plenty of natural vitamins that help with low libido.

When I'm feeling down, I remind myself how good I have it. A wife that I've been attracted to this past 18 years the way I was when I first met her. Having a daughter that brings a lot of happiness into my life that wouldn't be here if she wasn't.

Hopefully when you start your daily diet with vitamins things start to move forward in a better direction for you.

 

[Tams]

That’s the kicker really

I live in northern England, we get about 4 weeks of sun a year.

Funnily enough it was sunny this morning, but also 5 degrees C with horrendous wind.

Apart from a bit of sun on my face sunshine is a write off.

I do tend to feel a little better in the summer months though.

No excuse!

 

[tamago84]

Fuck social media

 

[Jinzo Prime]

So I had some blood work done by the doctor

Results came back today, my vitamin D level is 44 nmol/L, so way too low.

Doctor has suggested that this is the root cause of my issues.

Please everyone go get your Vitamin D levels checked.

My Vitamin D levels were lower than yours. Deeply depressed. Prescribed something like 10000 IU pills a week to get them back to normal. Made a huge difference.

Edit: I should also say that I was prescribed an antidepressant at the same time. I did not overcome depression with Vit. D alone.

 

[Dirk Benedict]

Please everyone go get your Vitamin D levels checked.

My Vitamin D levels were lower than yours. Deeply depressed. Prescribed something like 10000 IU pills a week to get them back to normal. Made a huge difference.

Edit: I should also say that I was prescribed an antidepressant at the same time. I did not overcome depression with Vit. D alone.

I've been taking D3 10000 IU as well. That with K2+ others in my regiment. It makes a huge difference, especially when you get older. For me, it's easier to tell when I have my vitamins dialed in and when I don't.

 

[PlayofSparta]

So far, no. I have Schizoid personality disorder and BP II. I take Lamictal, Lithium and Abilify. Still feel like shit. But I don't blame the meds or the disease. No job, never dated, lots of trauma. Life is harsh.

 

[Aggelos]

The probable cause of Anhedonia is stemming from the fact you (or should I say "we") have lived your(our) life for many years as part of the "Dopamine Nation".
Our society is full of high-dopamine stimuli. It's literally crazy how much high-dopamine stimuli people are coming across every day in their lives.
The fact that smart devices, PCs, screens, and whatnot have become the modern-day hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine to the "dopamine junkies" around the globe, speaks volumes on how human beings can loose their sense of meaning and fulfillment in this world, and enter in a world of mental suffering and hurt.

Dopamine Nation — Anna Lembke, MD

In Dopamine Nation, Dr. Anna Lembke, psychiatrist and author, explores the exciting new scientific discoveries that explain why the relentless pursuit of pleasure leads to pain.

www.annalembke.com

"This book is about pleasure. It’s also about pain. Most importantly, it’s about how to find the delicate balance between the two, and why now more than ever finding balance is essential. We’re living in a time of unprecedented access to high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli: drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting . . . The increased numbers, variety, and potency is staggering. The smartphone is the modern-day hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for a wired generation. As such we’ve all become vulnerable to compulsive overconsumption."

Anna Lembke - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org