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[AJUMP23]

Eh, girls are nothing but trouble!

But they are pretty and not all are trouble.

 

[Nitty_Grimes]

Asking out strangers is pretty much just for bars/clubs these days. Or apps, or like a space or event where it's expected.

If it's someone you know socially and have some kind of relationship with, yeah use your judgement.

Oh no. I don’t mean I’m literally going to walk up to a stranger and ask them out. I meant it’s probably impossible to strike up a conversation these days for the exact same reasons I outlined.

Sorry for any confusion.

 

[ÆMNE22A!C]

Yes, more or less cause I'm still a bit of a mess, I hear ya, say less.

I'm somewhat content because I like being alone but yeah I'd like to eventually find someone I feel attracted to on various levels.

 

[Vyse]

I’ve been married for 31 years.

 

[Senua]

Nope I'm too old to be single and having fun

 

[Doom85]

I meant it’s probably impossible to strike up a conversation these days for the exact same reasons I outlined.

I talk to people at bookstores, the movie theater (not during the movie obviously), and such, places where people are probably generally less in a hurry (so like a grocery store is a nope for doing that for me as people obviously will usually not appreciate being stalled especially if they’ve already put frozen items in their cart), and have never felt any of them appear annoyed or such that I began a conversation with them.

And no, I’m not even remotely close to a conventionally attractive person.

I think a big thing that can make a difference is the vibe one gives off. Even if you don’t say it in words, I think approaching a woman and talking to her with the intent to hopefully ask her out at some point can still be somewhat obvious, rather through the focus of the conversation, one’s body language, etc. And obviously if the woman picks up on that before the conversation has really lasted long enough, she will likely be disinterested because she realizes someone she just met is trying to ask her out eventually. So even if the plan is to wait until asking her out once you two know each other somewhat, she can possibly pick up on that well before you say anything. It’s not that you’re doing anything wrong, and she probably isn’t necessarily judgmental about it, but as you seemed to imply yourself, people generally don’t want to be asked out by someone they just met minutes ago so if the intention is picked up on that likely kills the timing of it all.

I think in my case I’m immune to this because due to my extreme anxiety when it comes to romance (from both ends, I’m not capable of flirting, but even the rare time someone flirted with me, and yes, I did find them attractive, I had to excuse myself as my anxiety shot through the roof and I was barely able to maintain a poker face until I walked away. I can’t say I really care though, never wanted to have kids and even marriage was always iffy to me, so I’m just kind of eh about romance now), I am just talking to women, and men too obviously, with purely the intention to socialize as I see no need to entertain the notion of asking a woman out when I know deep down I’m not capable of that. And I think they pick up on that and that’s why nobody seems to mind talking to me because I’m just a guy who is like, “oh, are you reading that? I like that one too. Are you reading anything else good?” or “hey, that reminds me of something funny, if you have a second.”, stuff like that.

I realize that could be frustrating to hear as I don’t know if body language and such is the easiest thing to make adjustments too, but that’s my deduction that I admit could be way off. I’m sure there are places you can find advice on making romantic interest less obvious in your choice of words, body language, and such, at least until you’re actually ready to start flirting or ready to just ask her out.