Man stay in there, of course you're important. Depression is a serious issue and this year has so many people feeling it.
If you have a daughter and wife, you've done something right. Don't give up dude. Online counseling is available as well if in lockdown.
I appreciate the concern. This is kind of a perfect storm situation. I'll just say I've been having a tumultuous year, like everyone, but it's starting to wear on me. I'm in a holding pattern, and I've always hated that. The VA tried to reduce my percentage by 30%, (over a thousand of my income a month), right before I got in the ten year category, (literally by months, then they'd never be able to reduce me, almost seems planned huh?), And the legal battle I've been in to get my percentage back to what it was has been mentally exhausting. I even told the VA that I was having thoughts of my suicide, and trust me they did not give a shit. I could tell they didn't believe me, and even if they did why would they care? My death makes their lives easier. There's noone in this country who benefits more from a veteran's death than the VA, then they don't have to pretend to give a shit about us anymore.
It's fine though, I'm not suicidal, I was just having passing thoughts. I'm gonna be ok, my priority here is my daughter, and I'm not allowed the luxury of being a whiny weakling until she's grown into the perfect woman I know she'll be, so I'll be here for a while yet. I just wish things could be simpler, and I wish the VA would figure out what I'm worth and not leave me hanging on by a thread like this so I could start making other plans. I have a business, a business partner, a mortgage, a gorgeous incredible wife that I don't deserve, and a daughter who's been having difficulties of her own both academic and emotional in nature, there are too many things I have to worry about to be wondering if the VA is gonna pay me next month or not, and it's just got me in an absolutely wrecked mental state.
First world problems and all that though. Like you said, I have a great family, I just don't want to disappoint them or ever have them live in anything less than excellence, as they're perfect and they deserve to be happy.
Anyhow, I appreciate you speaking to me. Sometimes I feel like venting or merely discussing ones mental state in general is, if not the best medicine, then a decent one.