Are you the best version of yourself, Gaf?

INCUBASE said:
No
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Why not, if you don't mind saying? (don't feel the need to tho)

I guess the reason I made the thread is that I don't believe myself to be atm in all honesty, with much of that being a direct result of my own decisions.
Some are also capable of being content for much of their lives, so it's rather subjective I suppose idk.
 
Somnium said:
Why not, if you don't mind saying? (don't feel the need to tho)

I guess the reason I made the thread is that I don't believe myself to be atm in all honesty, with much of that being a direct result of my own decisions.
Some are also capable of being content for much of their lives, so it's rather subjective I suppose idk.
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Wasted a lot of my life trying to please other people, I could of been in a very different place in my life currently and I hold a grudge about it, and in a way that holds me back, moving forward

I'm slowly starting to make steps to do what i wanna do, but I'm also in my late 30s, so I feel I've wasted my prime.

So yeh as far as my life goes I'm not happy with it, its better than mos people but if I died tomorrow I wouldn't of achieved anything I hold dear to me personally.
 
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Nope. On the superficial side, I could be in better shape and prettier. On the non-superficial side, I feel like I could be doing something to help others. How and with what, I don't know. Right now i'm just struggling to nail down a job. And that stress is bleeding over into everything.
 
Somnium said:
To be more specific, are you doing what you like to do and becoming who you want to be?
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Phisically, maybe yes
Mentally, probably my worst condition ever, I have no emotions anymore and I go day by day like a robot, due to covid restrictions
My plans and life are frozen in standby since october
 
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I think I am. I've had something's at work hit me hard this year by not getting the promotion I wanted but it lets me focus more on doing the job I still love today. My family life is great. I've dated the same wonderful woman for 20 years and been married for 13 of them. I have two wonderful boys who are amazing to play with.

I just bought one of my favorite cars which I'm slowly turning into my track car slash weekend fun machine.

Even during COVID life is good. I keep hoping everyone else is doing well also.
 
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Best version? Eh, who knows. But it's probably pretty close to the most honest, around-the-house version. I have some fun sometimes. A few good laughs most days.
 
What's with all the touchy feely threads lately
angry clint eastwood GIF


I'm kidding
 
No. Never was. Life for me was always more like working up a to do list, rather than enjoying myself or others. But my plans to become a happier, healthier person got totally wrecked by fucking pandemic. I'm working on reducing the self-destructive habits though, which helps a little. Baby steps.
 
Not 100% no. I push harder each year though.

What am I doing?
  • Physical health: sleeping 8-9 Horus each night, eating healthy, working out every day for a min of at least 30 mins, (avg of 68 mins/day over the past 12 months)
  • Career: managed to get promotions or fat raises each year for the past 4 years, pushing my skillset further (better results on KPIs), and developing new skills as needed or desired
  • Home: increasing my cooking & baking skills by trying new recipes, making my own; doing home improvement projects on my own (designing & building things like 3-stage compost bin for the wife's garden, new railing system for the stairwell to the basement, etc.)
 
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I'm doing pretty decent and with a beautiful woman, me best? Far from it.

There simply is no such thing in my opinion.

I envy anyone that does feel that way. Must be glorious.
 
No, I sabotage myself through anxiety.

And on the deeper end, the way I like to see myself is that I'm wasted potential... "if only I had the drive/money/opportunity/citizenship"... but that's a loser that thinks too highly of himself talking, and I try to keep him away... so there you go.

Apart from that, I'm not doing too bad, though. I managed to make a decent life for myself, definitively on an slow but upwards curve into improvement and better quality of life.
 
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No, but that is the motivation, striving to better yourself despite our human nature towards an unattainable goal to consistently push oneself forward positively. Even if you are your best self you will always find room for improvement


One day I'll be Batman...
 
I like half cut me. Can still walk a straight line but intoxicated enough to be myself and not some shy introverted anti-social quiet guy.
 
Not the best version of myself, but I'm getting there. Mentally, in the best place I've been in a long time. Started Zoloft a few months ago and it's had a dramatic change on my life. I'm not holding myself back with anxiety anymore and it feels amazing. I don't love my job, but I'm grateful for it. Been married 2 years now and we'll be closing on our first house here soon. Life is good.
 
It's pretty hard to judge yourself.
Am I the very best version of myself ? Probably not but I'm OK with that and perfectly happy with my current self.
I think being happy and healthy is more important than being the best version of yourself as weird as that sounds.
You can be the best version of yourself and still be a miserable bastard
 
Not at all... but as long as you feel like you're constantly improving yourself instead of stagnating or declining, it doesn't matter then, does it?

I'm still quite young (mid 20's) and naïve, so I sometimes screw up and make rookie mistakes, mainly related to my job. My other main issues are that perhaps I should spend less of my free time on video games (COVID certainly hasn't helped for me to play football or hangout with the lads, to be fair) and try to eat a little bit healthier (as I often don't give a fuck about my diet because I'm in good shape). On the upside, I get to directly help people everyday -- that's immensely satisfying and it makes me want to improve myself all the time both intellectually and morally. I think my next big step up will be when/if I decide to settle down and form a family, but for now I'm just happy to enjoy the current moment with no pressure while I keep constantly getting better at what I do.
 
I was just ready to get going before Covid tbh.
Covid really put a damper on my goals.
Was getting out of one career to make strides in another. (Give/Gave myself 5 years to be 'made' in it. Covid has taken 1.5 so far)

A year away from the gym (looking to be longer now) has hurt my physique, coming from 14 years of consistent training.

Mentally I have shook off the initial trauma of all of this. A year in, lockdowns and the news are just noise atm, so that's good.
I like where I am internally. I'm wiser, more confident, smarter, focused. Still want to grow much more, just feel like I'm in stasis, hungry, just waiting to go again.

*May sound stupid, but I love suffering/adversity. Makes one so much stronger on the other side (If one makes it)
 
No sadly. My health took a hit last year but it allowed me to learn and have to eat better. I did start taking up walking and boy was it a wake up call. Used to do retail but after leaving that i didn't get no more cardio. I did go back to school even at 37 which i was scared so can't wait for next semester, missed this one because if covid and other issues I missed the sign up. Also after 7 yrs of not dating I found the most amazing woman so that motivates me more. I do have to get my sleeping in check though lol.
 
I've still got a long way to go.

Health issues have been holding me back, and my best friend and I are still mentally recovering from living with an abusive covert narcissist for over two years...but we'll get there. She and I have each other's back through everything, and I'm thankful to God to have her in my life. :)
 
I am not the best version of myself, but I have made a conscious effort to get there one small step at a time.

I don't get to become what I want, but I am on my way becoming what is needed of me.
 
Threads like these never fail to make me feel weird as phuck.

I live the most boring life ever. Get up in the morning, spend the day in the office, come home, do my home training (or go walking while listening to an audiobook), prepare my one meal per day, eat and watch a movie, game a little bit and then go to sleep - repeat. On weekends and days off I usually then do more sports and/or game more. That's it. For some reason I have no drive whatsoever to progress any further in my job and earn more. The only thing I really care about is progressing with my training.

And the weirdest thing ever is that aside from the occasional day here and there I could not be happier... which is kind of a problem because I feel like I should start a family soon. However, not only is it hard to find someone willing to live with someone living like me but also most other people only become a burden for me because they bring all their problems into my care free live. Darn it... :pie_thinking:
 
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I'm doing what I like and becoming who I want to be but being the best version of myself is another matter. Being the best someone can be is the highest goal someone can achieve in life. Very few individuals can say this honestly with oneself. The maturity, will and courage to do it is huge. I would be lucky if I feel that way in my old age.
 
Thanks folks for taking time to reply.

Kev Kev said:
What's with all the touchy feely threads lately
angry clint eastwood GIF


I'm kidding
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GleefulRectangularHellbender-small.gif



DESTROYA said:
I think being happy and healthy is more important than being the best version of yourself as weird as that sounds.
You can be the best version of yourself and still be a miserable bastard
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I would argue that those two things aren't mutually exclusive. The best version of myself is one where I prioritize my happiness and my health, both mentally & physically.
Although I do agree with the sentiment.
 
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Somnium said:
To be more specific, are you doing what you like to do and becoming who you want to be?
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Well, becoming what you want to be is often not possible. Most people cannot become Olympic athletes, etc.
I'd like to write and/or draw comics as a hobby but I have zero talent. In my extended family there are quite a few who are good at art or music so I can compare.
 
Clearly not. In fact I'm coming to the conclusion that I may be worthless. Don't really know why I exist anymore, but I suppose that's just part of the human condition. Everything seems unimportant to me lately other than my family, and I don't seem that important to them. I'm not important to anyone actually, but that actually makes sense to me in some capacity. I think my daughter might still love me, and that's enough for me. Don't know what I can do to improve. Health and fitness are huge parts of my life, I recently saved my marriage and my wife is happy again, but it just feels like if I disappeared tomorrow noone would even ask what happened to that guy, they wouldn't even remember I was ever here. I suppose that's normal though, so I don't know what my point is. Maybe I'll have a drink.
 
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poodaddy said:
Clearly not. In fact I'm coming to the conclusion that I may be worthless. Don't really know why I exist anymore, but I suppose that's just part of the human condition. Everything seems unimportant to me lately other than my family, and I don't seem that important to them. I'm not important to anyone actually, but that actually makes sense to me in some capacity. I think my daughter might still love me, and that's enough for me. Don't know what I can do to improve. Health and fitness are huge parts of my life, I recently saved my marriage and my wife is happy again, but it just feels like if I disappeared tomorrow noone would even ask what happened to that guy, they wouldn't even remember I was ever here. I suppose that's normal though, so I don't know what my point is. Maybe I'll have a drink.
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Man stay in there, of course you're important. Depression is a serious issue and this year has so many people feeling it.

If you have a daughter and wife, you've done something right. Don't give up dude. Online counseling is available as well if in lockdown.
 
Ionian said:
Man stay in there, of course you're important. Depression is a serious issue and this year has so many people feeling it.

If you have a daughter and wife, you've done something right. Don't give up dude. Online counseling is available as well if in lockdown.
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I appreciate the concern. This is kind of a perfect storm situation. I'll just say I've been having a tumultuous year, like everyone, but it's starting to wear on me. I'm in a holding pattern, and I've always hated that. The VA tried to reduce my percentage by 30%, (over a thousand of my income a month), right before I got in the ten year category, (literally by months, then they'd never be able to reduce me, almost seems planned huh?), And the legal battle I've been in to get my percentage back to what it was has been mentally exhausting. I even told the VA that I was having thoughts of my suicide, and trust me they did not give a shit. I could tell they didn't believe me, and even if they did why would they care? My death makes their lives easier. There's noone in this country who benefits more from a veteran's death than the VA, then they don't have to pretend to give a shit about us anymore.

It's fine though, I'm not suicidal, I was just having passing thoughts. I'm gonna be ok, my priority here is my daughter, and I'm not allowed the luxury of being a whiny weakling until she's grown into the perfect woman I know she'll be, so I'll be here for a while yet. I just wish things could be simpler, and I wish the VA would figure out what I'm worth and not leave me hanging on by a thread like this so I could start making other plans. I have a business, a business partner, a mortgage, a gorgeous incredible wife that I don't deserve, and a daughter who's been having difficulties of her own both academic and emotional in nature, there are too many things I have to worry about to be wondering if the VA is gonna pay me next month or not, and it's just got me in an absolutely wrecked mental state.

First world problems and all that though. Like you said, I have a great family, I just don't want to disappoint them or ever have them live in anything less than excellence, as they're perfect and they deserve to be happy.

Anyhow, I appreciate you speaking to me. Sometimes I feel like venting or merely discussing ones mental state in general is, if not the best medicine, then a decent one.
 
With all the struggles I had.. I am doing pretty fine now. The best version? Nope, but I am fine with where I am
 
I am the heaviest version of myself.

I am pretty satisfied with my life. If I could do what I wanted all the time I would be a travel blogger/historian or something like that. But I earn a good living where I am and have a lovely wife and kids.
 
poodaddy said:
Clearly not. In fact I'm coming to the conclusion that I may be worthless. Don't really know why I exist anymore, but I suppose that's just part of the human condition. Everything seems unimportant to me lately other than my family, and I don't seem that important to them. I'm not important to anyone actually, but that actually makes sense to me in some capacity. I think my daughter might still love me, and that's enough for me. Don't know what I can do to improve. Health and fitness are huge parts of my life, I recently saved my marriage and my wife is happy again, but it just feels like if I disappeared tomorrow noone would even ask what happened to that guy, they wouldn't even remember I was ever here. I suppose that's normal though, so I don't know what my point is. Maybe I'll have a drink.
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You're dealing with situations that I have no experience in atm, such as raising a family, so I'm not going to pretend I can totally understand your experiences lol.
Although I would agree with you that moments where we believe ourselves to lack purpose seems very much a part of the human condition. Although a condition is essentially what it is, right?
Which means certain external factors and choices made can contribute to the changing of one's conditions, for better or worse. Which means you have some say in how you approach or navigate through many situations or challenges.

Seems like nothing is static in this universe, including personalities and conditions. I think that realization provides me peace, or at the every least mitigates the anxiety that would stem from moments of crisis or uncertainty in my life.

The fact you can say that you have people your life that you love and value they also love and value you is pretty wonderful. That's not guaranteed to every human for simply existing, simply because it's possibly so it happens.

Enjoy your drink, my guy :messenger_beermugs:
 
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