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[Triumph]

The President, the First Lady and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force

One.

George looks at Laura, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a

$1,000.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100.00

bills out the window and make 10 people very happy"

Cheney says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $10.00 bills

Out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his

co-pilot,

"Such big shots back there..... hell, I could throw all of them out the

window and make 56 million people very happy."

 

[Shompola]

hehe good one. :lol

 

[Do The Mario]

hehe good one. :lol

:lol

nice

 

[JoshuaJSlone]

"Such big shots back there..... hell, I could throw all of them out the
window and make 560 million people very happy."

Fixed.

 

[RiZ III]

:lol awsome

 

[kumanoki]

The President was visiting with the Queen of England. Over tea, he asks her, "I've noticed that you run your country pretty well. What's your secret?"
The Queen says, "Oh, it's quite simple really. I surround myself with intelligent people."
"Intelligent people...", Bush murmurs. "Well, how do you know if they're intelligent or not?"
The Queen answers, "Oh, I give them a little test. If they pass, they are intelligent." The Queen motions to a guard. "Would you be so kind as to call in the Prime Minister?" Shortly, Tony Blair is standing before them. The Queen asks, "Mr. Blair, your mother has a child. It is not your brother or your sister. Who would it be?"
"Why, it would be me, of course!" The Queen nods to President Bush, and President Bush is delighted.

Back in Washington, President Bush calls Vice President Cheney into his office. VP Cheney lumbers in and says, "What is it?" President Bush asks, "Dick, your mother has a child, and it's not your brother or your sister, so who is it?" Dick thinks for a minute and replies, "I'm not exactly sure, Mr. President. Let me contact some of my people and see if we can come up with an answer." Cheney walks down the hall to Condi's office, and says, "Look Condolezza, Bush just asked me this question. What's the answer?" Condolezza replies, "Why, it'd be me, of course." Satisfied, Dick strolls back into the President's office with a big grin on his face. "I've got the answer to your question, Mr. President. The answer is Condolezza Rice."

President Bush stands up and shouts, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

 

[Fatalah]

Haha! that last one rocked!

 

[FightyF]

*ROFLMAO* @ kumanoki

The other one was good, but 56 mil is a low number, the fix is alright, but forgot to mention that God would be happy with it too.

 

[Pedigree Chum]

The President was visiting with the Queen of England. Over tea, he asks her, "I've noticed that you run your country pretty well. What's your secret?"
The Queen says, "Oh, it's quite simple really. I surround myself with intelligent people."
"Intelligent people...", Bush murmurs. "Well, how do you know if they're intelligent or not?"
The Queen answers, "Oh, I give them a little test. If they pass, they are intelligent." The Queen motions to a guard. "Would you be so kind as to call in the Prime Minister?" Shortly, Tony Blair is standing before them. The Queen asks, "Mr. Blair, your mother has a child. It is not your brother or you sister. Who would it be?"
"Why, it would be me, of course!" The Queen nods to President Bush, and President Bush is delighted.

Back in Washington, President Bush calls Vice President Cheney into his office. VP Cheney lumbers in and says, "What is it?" President Bush asks, "Dick, your mother has a child, and it's not your brother or your sister, so who is it?" Dick thinks for a minute and replies, "I'm not exactly sure, Mr. President. Let me contact some of my people and see if we can come up with an answer." Cheney walks down the hall to Condi's office, and says, "Look Condolezza, Bush just asked me this question. What's the answer?" Condolezza replies, "Why, it'd be me, of course." Satisfied, Dick strolls back into the President's office with a big grin on his face. "I've got the answer to your question, Mr. President. The answer is Condolezza Rice."

President Bush stands up and shouts, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

Holy shit! :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[Socreges]

The President was visiting with the Queen of England. Over tea, he asks her, "I've noticed that you run your country pretty well. What's your secret?"
The Queen says, "Oh, it's quite simple really. I surround myself with intelligent people."
"Intelligent people...", Bush murmurs. "Well, how do you know if they're intelligent or not?"
The Queen answers, "Oh, I give them a little test. If they pass, they are intelligent." The Queen motions to a guard. "Would you be so kind as to call in the Prime Minister?" Shortly, Tony Blair is standing before them. The Queen asks, "Mr. Blair, your mother has a child. It is not your brother or you sister. Who would it be?"
"Why, it would be me, of course!" The Queen nods to President Bush, and President Bush is delighted.

Back in Washington, President Bush calls Vice President Cheney into his office. VP Cheney lumbers in and says, "What is it?" President Bush asks, "Dick, your mother has a child, and it's not your brother or your sister, so who is it?" Dick thinks for a minute and replies, "I'm not exactly sure, Mr. President. Let me contact some of my people and see if we can come up with an answer." Cheney walks down the hall to Condi's office, and says, "Look Condolezza, Bush just asked me this question. What's the answer?" Condolezza replies, "Why, it'd be me, of course." Satisfied, Dick strolls back into the President's office with a big grin on his face. "I've got the answer to your question, Mr. President. The answer is Condolezza Rice."

President Bush stands up and shouts, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

:lol

 

[demon]

Both those jokes are awesome.

 

[kumanoki]

Not as good, but hey:

Mr. Bush and his wife were driving in Connecticut and they reached a town named Sprague. Try as they might, they could not figure out how to pronounce the name of the town.

Since they were hungry, they decided to stop and grab a bite to eat. He inquired at the counter, "My wife and I can't seem to be able to figure out how to pronounce this place. Will you tell me where we are? Say it very slowly so that I can understand."

The waitress looked at him and said, "MaaaaccDoooonnnnnaaaaalllllddzzzz."

 

[kumanoki]

I got nothin' else. Oh, wait. One more. Not Bush related.

John and Bob were teeing off at the notorious fifteenth green, a par four. John, feeling nervous, hooked his ball way off to the right, into the trees. "Dammit! Bob, you go ahead, I'll try to dig myself out of the woods."

John walked down the green and found his ball in a big patch of buttercups. He lined up his shot, and swung. Just then, Mother Nature appeared before him in all her glory and slendor. "Look what you've done to my patch of buttercups! You brute! Do you know how long it took me to grow those? From now on, you worthless man, you will have no butter! No butter for your popcorn, no butter for your pancakes. No butter!" John stood there aghast.

Walking back onto the green, John called out to Bob, "Hey Bob, you're never going to believe what just happend to me!" Bob shot back from the trees across the green, "Well, hold on a minute, I hooked my ball into these pussywillows."

John yelled, "Dear lord, Bob! Whatever you do, DON'T SWING!"

 

[kumanoki]

Anybody got any other ones?

 

[Mike Works]

Anybody got any other ones?

The President, the First Lady and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force One.

George looks at Laura, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a

$1,000.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100.00

bills out the window and make 10 people very happy"

Cheney says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $10.00 bills

Out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his

co-pilot, "OH MY GOD, THERE ARE SNAKES ON THE PLANE!"

 

[kumanoki]

:lol :lol

 

[Pochacco]

:lol @ first 2.

 

[Eminem]

The President, the First Lady and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force One.

George looks at Laura, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a

$1,000.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100.00

bills out the window and make 10 people very happy"

Cheney says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $10.00 bills

Out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his

co-pilot, "OH MY GOD, THERE ARE SNAKES ON THE PLANE!"

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Meier]

Heh, that one about tossing them out of the plane has been around since at least the Clinton administration as I remember hearing it years ago, although I figure it's been around for considerably longer than that.

 

[olimario]

The first one is just a variation of the Clinton joke from a few years back. That one ends with "I could throw one Bill out and make everyone happy".

 

[demon]

I got nothin' else. Oh, wait. One more. Not Bush related.

John and Bob were teeing off at the notorious fifteenth green, a par four. John, feeling nervous, hooked his ball way off to the right, into the trees. "Dammit! Bob, you go ahead, I'll try to dig myself out of the woods."

John walked down the green and found his ball in a big patch of buttercups. He lined up his shot, and swung. Just then, Mother Nature appeared before him in all her glory and slendor. "Look what you've done to my patch of buttercups! You brute! Do you know how long it took me to grow those? From now on, you worthless man, you will have no butter! No butter for your popcorn, no butter for your pancakes. No butter!" John stood there aghast.

Walking back onto the green, John called out to Bob, "Hey Bob, you're never going to believe what just happend to me!" Bob shot back from the trees across the green, "Well, hold on a minute, I hooked my ball into these pussywillows."

John yelled, "Dear lord, Bob! Whatever you do, DON'T SWING!"

Hahaha, I love those kind of jokes.

 

[john tv]

The President was visiting with the Queen of England. Over tea, he asks her, "I've noticed that you run your country pretty well. What's your secret?"
The Queen says, "Oh, it's quite simple really. I surround myself with intelligent people."
"Intelligent people...", Bush murmurs. "Well, how do you know if they're intelligent or not?"
The Queen answers, "Oh, I give them a little test. If they pass, they are intelligent." The Queen motions to a guard. "Would you be so kind as to call in the Prime Minister?" Shortly, Tony Blair is standing before them. The Queen asks, "Mr. Blair, your mother has a child. It is not your brother or your sister. Who would it be?"
"Why, it would be me, of course!" The Queen nods to President Bush, and President Bush is delighted.

Back in Washington, President Bush calls Vice President Cheney into his office. VP Cheney lumbers in and says, "What is it?" President Bush asks, "Dick, your mother has a child, and it's not your brother or your sister, so who is it?" Dick thinks for a minute and replies, "I'm not exactly sure, Mr. President. Let me contact some of my people and see if we can come up with an answer." Cheney walks down the hall to Condi's office, and says, "Look Condolezza, Bush just asked me this question. What's the answer?" Condolezza replies, "Why, it'd be me, of course." Satisfied, Dick strolls back into the President's office with a big grin on his face. "I've got the answer to your question, Mr. President. The answer is Condolezza Rice."

President Bush stands up and shouts, "No, you idiot! It's Tony Blair!"

:lol :lol :lol

 

[Greenpanda]

:lol :lol @ Snakes on a Plane

 

[DSN2K]

The President, the First Lady and Dick Cheney are flying on Air Force One.

George looks at Laura, chuckles and says, "You know, I could throw a

$1,000.00 bill out the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugs her shoulders and says, "Well, I could throw ten $100.00

bills out the window and make 10 people very happy"

Cheney says, "Of course then, I could throw one-hundred $10.00 bills

Out the window and make a hundred people very happy."

The pilot rolls his eyes, looks at all of them and says to his

co-pilot, "OH MY GOD, THERE ARE SNAKES ON THE PLANE!"

:lol :lol :lol

 

[soundwave05]

:lol

 

[Kobun Heat]

Bush and Cheney walk into a diner for breakfast. The attractive waitress walks up to them as they're studying the menu and asks what they'd like this morning. Bush looks at the waitress and says "I'd like a quickie, miss." Shocked and offended, the waitress says "What kind of girl do you think I am?" and slaps him. As she storms off, Cheney says, "Sir, I think it's pronounced quiche."

 

[tetsuoxb]

Bush and Cheney walk into a diner for breakfast. The attractive waitress walks up to them as they're studying the menu and asks what they'd like this morning. Bush looks at the waitress and says "I'd like a quickie, miss." Shocked and offended, the waitress says "What kind of girl do you think I am?" and slaps him. As she storms off, Cheney says, "Sir, I think it's pronounced quiche."

:lol :lol :lol :lol :lol :lol

YOU GET THE PRIZE!

 

[Escape Goat]

Nice