Baby Corn is Vegetable Abortion
- Thread starter etiolate
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WHOAguitarninja
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etiolate said:
Really tasteless joke is just begging to get out here, but I'll refrain.
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Every time I think of corn, I am reminded of Japanese cannibal Issei Sagawa, and his account of his most disturbing act:
I turn on the recorder. She starts to read . She speaks in perfect German. I reach for the rifle hidden beside the chest of drawers. I stand slowly and aim the rifle at the back of her head. I cannot stop myself. There is a loud sound and her body falls from the chair onto the floor. It is like she is watching me. I see her cheeks, her eyes, her nose and mouth, the blood pouring from her head. I try to talk to her, but she no longer answers. There is blood all over the floor. I try to wipe it up, but I realize I cannot stop the flow of blood from her head. It is very quiet here. There is only the silence of death.
I start to take off her clothes. It is hard to take the clothes off a dead body. Finally it is done. Her beautiful white body is before me. I've waited so long this day and now it is here. I touch her ass. It is so very smooth. I wonder where I should bite first. I decide to bite the top of her butt. My nose is covered with her cold white skin. I try to beat down hard, but I can't. I suddenly have a horrible headache. I get a knife from the kitchen and stab it deeply into her skin. Suddenly a lot of sallow fat oozes from the wound. It reminds me of Indian corn. It continues to ooze. It is strange. Finally I find the red meat under the sallow fat. I scoop it out and put it in my mouth. I chew. It has no smell and no taste. It melts in my mouth like a perfect piece of tuna. I look in her eyes and say: You are delicious.
Those crazy Japanese people!
I turn on the recorder. She starts to read . She speaks in perfect German. I reach for the rifle hidden beside the chest of drawers. I stand slowly and aim the rifle at the back of her head. I cannot stop myself. There is a loud sound and her body falls from the chair onto the floor. It is like she is watching me. I see her cheeks, her eyes, her nose and mouth, the blood pouring from her head. I try to talk to her, but she no longer answers. There is blood all over the floor. I try to wipe it up, but I realize I cannot stop the flow of blood from her head. It is very quiet here. There is only the silence of death.
I start to take off her clothes. It is hard to take the clothes off a dead body. Finally it is done. Her beautiful white body is before me. I've waited so long this day and now it is here. I touch her ass. It is so very smooth. I wonder where I should bite first. I decide to bite the top of her butt. My nose is covered with her cold white skin. I try to beat down hard, but I can't. I suddenly have a horrible headache. I get a knife from the kitchen and stab it deeply into her skin. Suddenly a lot of sallow fat oozes from the wound. It reminds me of Indian corn. It continues to ooze. It is strange. Finally I find the red meat under the sallow fat. I scoop it out and put it in my mouth. I chew. It has no smell and no taste. It melts in my mouth like a perfect piece of tuna. I look in her eyes and say: You are delicious.
Those crazy Japanese people!
heavy liquid
Member
White Man said:
Thank you. Now I'm scarred. Scarred for life.
Ain't nuthing wrong with baby corn in my Chinese food. Unless it starts crying, then that's just the sign of the End of Days, and nobody's going to be eating anything anytime soon...
Let's talk about cultured foods. I mean sure, all foods have SOME living germs in and on them, but yogurts and the like blatantly tout that they have living bacteria doing the Macarena in that small cup of goodness. Then you have those potent yogurt drinks that are like a billion times stronger versions of those bacteria and they help you by staying all up in your intestines reenforcing the bacteria that's already there. Isn't it funny to meet an obsessive-compulsive cleaner who can't stop getting rid of germs and bacteria then you hand them a cup of yogurt and they eat it because it's healthy? All the while you see them swallow and BAM, they just ate a population of living squiggling multiplying microbial bastards that number in the millions per spoonful and growing. Yeah homie you just got germinated.
Let's talk about cultured foods. I mean sure, all foods have SOME living germs in and on them, but yogurts and the like blatantly tout that they have living bacteria doing the Macarena in that small cup of goodness. Then you have those potent yogurt drinks that are like a billion times stronger versions of those bacteria and they help you by staying all up in your intestines reenforcing the bacteria that's already there. Isn't it funny to meet an obsessive-compulsive cleaner who can't stop getting rid of germs and bacteria then you hand them a cup of yogurt and they eat it because it's healthy? All the while you see them swallow and BAM, they just ate a population of living squiggling multiplying microbial bastards that number in the millions per spoonful and growing. Yeah homie you just got germinated.
captmcblack
Member
ParkPace said:
Well, there was this one time I ate Lucky Charms, and then a nearby baby EXPLODED.
That was pretty unlucky.
...for the baby.
FortNinety
Member
I agree with etiolate. I can't stand them. I've never eat one actually, and never will. Are you supposed to eat the whole thing? Cuz I'm so trained on just eating the kernals off of the regular sized ones.
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