Move to Australia mate, not only do we make a mean beer-battered fish (12 months a year!) , but they usually advertise exactly what beer was used and they some boutiqe numbers too like your Squires and your Boags.
I don't have a ho. Nor a girlfriend that would in all likeliness slap my ass silly her calling her a ho. Thus it's OK to slap the ho, when it's just me in my forum induced fantasy.