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[ManaByte]

http://media.cinema-post.de/BRay_TTeas.mpg

The hits never stop!

 

[Kabuki Waq]

:lol how did they get ben kingsley?

 

[Willco]

The fact that this man secures the talent and funds for a string of movies that only Ed Wood would find entertaining, while people with legitimate talent work horrible jobs just so they can save up enough money to beg and grovel for a shot at making a film, is just another one of life's cruel ironies.

 

[FoneBone]

:lol how did they get ben kingsley?

What we've all been wondering -- God, he needs to fire his agent. Though, if you ask me, he's at a point where even parts like this aren't really going to hurt his career.

 

[explodet]

Maybe it's some kind of new profitability model that we're just not understanding.

 

[ManaByte]

I can't understand these movies getting such large marketing budgets. I mean with HotD you could just ignore the movie because they didn't really run any advertising for it. But with Alone in the Dark, there's commercials everywhere for it and even billboards and bus ads.

 

[enjoy bell woods]

http://thezreview.co.uk/features/aloneinthedarkinterview.htm

RI- How was it working with Ben Kingsley?

UB- I called him and he said I shouldn’t talk with him about it. He said he knew how he was going to play Kagan, the big vampire, and he played him perfect. I talked with my agent and he told me, “Ahh, Ben Kingsley is shit”. I said, “You’re not getting it. He’s a ghost. He’s four hundred years old, and he is the leader of all the vampires”. He plays it like Schindler’s List and Gandhi, really calm and straight, and the violence is coming out of the quiet. Then he grabs someone and sucks a young girl or kills. He’s not the kind of guy you can have yelling around. It’s idiotic. For this you don’t hire Ben Kingsley. Not everyone gets this.

Boll's agent calls Kingsley shit... just so you know what we're working with.

UB- People that hated The House of the Dead, they hate me. If you go in the chat rooms, they are flipping out, and they have never seen Alone in the Dark. They judge it because of one movie they didn’t like. They should see Heart of America, they will see it is a very good movie. I’m really proud of that movie and it has nothing to do with video games. It’s not a genre movie, it’s a drama, but it is good acting and script and it works. I say, wait and see Alone in the Dark. It is a movie that is hard to hate. It is far better in everything; not only the acting, the story, the CGI. The set-up is bigger. It was a bigger budget. People cannot say Alone in the Dark is worse. You can still say “I don’t like it.” But it’s not like you are going to be upset about the movie. I also judge hard. If I go in the theater to see movies I’m also a brutal reviewer. If I see a movie like SWAT, for example. I hated it. It didn’t make sense, and it was heroic things the whole time. It is over-the-top. Like Alien vs. Predator. I enjoyed it because I was expecting nothing. And Resident Evil 2. I enjoyed it also. I cannot say that I would write after it that I hated it.

I love Uwe Boll so much. Alone in the Dark made me laugh so hard.

I read he's get $70 million for Dungeon Siege. Yeah, seriously.

 

[sefskillz]

There was talk of the script actually being good, maybe that's what brought the actors in. Who knows.

Uwe Boll needs to be stopped.

 

[xsarien]

Maybe it's some kind of new profitability model that we're just not understanding.

My gut's telling me that somewhere, someone lost a bet and this is the unfortunate payback.

 

[Willco]

My open letter to Ben Kingsley in 2004:

Hey Ben,
It's been awhile. I know I don't write as often as I should. But I heard that you'll be starring in Uwe Boll's upcoming adaptation of BloodRayne. I never played the game, but I heard it had something to do with Nazis and vampires, neither of which are your forte. I assumed you did that horrid Thunderbirds movie because one of your relatives was a fan or that you wanted to do something silly. I understand. You're a serious actor.

But now you've crossed the line, and I urge you to quickly jump back across or face a career trainwreck.

I don't know if you know, but Uwe Boll is a shitty director. A really shitty director. He makes Paul W.S. Anderson look like Paul Thomas Anderson. His last movie sucked. The trailer for his next movie sucked. He sucks.

I can only imagine you're doing this for the money. So don't do it. Really, if you need the money that bad than I implore all Ben Kingsley fans to create a PayPal donation site to stop you from making shitty movies. I mean, you ruled in Ghandi. I even liked you in Species. I heard you were pretty good in that movie with Jennifer Connelly's breasts in that flick with the sand and the fog and whatnot. But Thunderbirds? A Sound of Thunder? BloodRayne? When does it stop, Ben? WHEN DOES IT STOP?

Hopefully here.

And remember Ben, Judd Nelson thought it was a good idea at the time to star in Steel, but look at him. Or Fisher Stevens after Short Circuit 2. It's all downhill from here.

Sincerely,
Will Federman
President of the Ben Kingsley PayPal Donation Movement

I fear that just like Street Fighter killed Raul Julia, BloodRayne will take Sir Ben's life.

 

[Trevelyon]

Kristanna Loken looks like a cosplay nightmare. Who designed that outfit? It's completely average, I'm pretty sure I've seen e3 booth babes, who look more the part.

Urgh!

 

[xsarien]

And remember Ben, Judd Nelson thought it was a good idea at the time to star in Steel, but look at him. Or Fisher Stevens after Short Circuit 2. It's all downhill from here.

Man.

Short Circuit 2: The Sequel Even Steve Guttenberg Wouldn't Touch

 

[Killkernal]

She feasts! She.....lusts??

 

[bishoptl]

Do Madsen and Rodriguez have agents who do NOTHING but put them in game-related projects? If I was Kristanna Loken, I'd fire whoever was in charge of her makeup. Her face looks wrong, somehow. Can't believe this is the same hottie from T3. Yikes.

SHE FEASTS
SHE LUSTS
SHE SLAYS

 

[Funky Papa]

Kingsley, Madsen, Loken, Rodriguez... jesus, this may well be the biggest clusterfuck ever

 

[Flynn]

Towards the beginning of the trailer there's a strange cutaway of a guy falling off of a ledge.

For some reason that tiny bit cracks me up. :lol

 

[sefskillz]

Towards the beginning of the trailer there's a strange cutaway of a guy falling off of a ledge.

For some reason that tiny bit cracks me up. :lol

i think its the sound effect they used for the scream. its a stock sound that we've all heard 100s of times before.

 

[Funky Papa]

aieeeeeeeee!

Seriously, I've heard that clip in a million games and movies. Cheeeeeaaaaaaap.

 

[Duck of Death]

That looks like the bastard child of Xena: Warrior Princess and the Dungeons and Dragons movie.

Actually, the similarities to the Dungeons and Dragons movie are alarming. :\

 

[Deleted member 1159]

Come on now, if the Terminatrix gets naked it'll all be OK

 

[Lakitu]

Looks the SHIT

 

[Funky Papa]

She looks all butch

Boll is the only man alive capable of making Loken unhot. That's a tall order, but he is clearly a quite experienced lad when it comes to fuck things up.

 

[Dan]

Kingsley, Madsen, Loken, Rodriguez... jesus, this may well be the biggest clusterfuck ever

Apparently Billy Zane and Meat Loaf are in this as well...

 

[Minotauro]

Maybe it's some kind of new profitability model that we're just not understanding.

Either way, there has to be some fuzzy math involved.

 

[Funky Papa]

Apparently Billy Zane and Meat Loaf are in this as well...

Meat Loaf? Now everything makes sense :lol :lol

 

[VictimOfGrief]

Apparently Billy Zane and Meat Loaf are in this as well...

awesome. :lol

 

[Gregory]

Boll is awesome. All his movies are awesome and all the upcoming ones he`s gonna make will also be awesome. There`s just no denying his appeal.

 

[Truelize]

Kristanna Loken looks like a cosplay nightmare. Who designed that outfit? It's completely average, I'm pretty sure I've seen e3 booth babes, who look more the part.

I was thinking the same thing actually. It doesn't even look like the costume really fits her well. She needs a bit more boob me thinks.

 

[COCKLES]

Shitty movie of....let's be honest....a shitty game. It's only distingushing features that Rayne herself looks pretty Vamp fuckable in some of the game promo shots.

Blood Rayne? With Mr Boll on the case it's more like Acid Rayne.

 

[The Bookerman]

This movie has softcore porn movie production values.... Kristanna is hot.... but the movie isn't supposed to be a porn movie? Either way I'm still there. I want to see this disaster movie up close.

 

[Archaix]

Like Alien vs. Predator. I enjoyed it because I was expecting nothing. And Resident Evil 2. I enjoyed it also.

Seriously, what the fuck? How much money is Boll actually pocketing off this shit?

 

[MaverickX9]

Come on now, if the Terminatrix gets naked it'll all be OK

I agree. If Kristanna shows her boobs, it will be worth it.

Not actually paying to see it, but to see the vidcaps of her boobs on the net.

I can't believe Michael Madsen is in this. I thought he was done with his shitty movie phase after Free Willy 2.

 

[COCKLES]

Masden is hilarious. Him and Rodriguez look so horribly out of place.

This actually looks WORSE then HOTD!

 

[The Bookerman]

Masden is hilarious. Him and Rodriguez look so horribly out of place.

This actually looks WORSE then HOTD!

I must go see Alone in the dark....

I dunno why Stephen Dorff accepted working with that Dumbass Boll.. I had so much respect for Dorff after Blade .

 

[gigapower]

This movie makes the old Xena and Hercules TV shows look like fucking Lord of the Rings.

 

[Mason]

Wow, they couldn't even get the real trailer voiceover guy. Not only does that look bad, that looks bad for a direct-to-video movie. Yikes.

 

[nitewulf]

kirstanna loken looks way weird. and will michelle rodriguez ever play another character?

 

[Ecrofirt]

what ths fuck is this:

 

[Archaix]

Oh no...I just watched it.

It hurt me.

Inside.

Where my feelings live.

 

[FoneBone]

and will michelle rodriguez ever play another character?

It's hard to think of anybody else who's been so heavily typecast.

 

[Warm Machine]

Towards the beginning of the trailer there's a strange cutaway of a guy falling off of a ledge.

For some reason that tiny bit cracks me up. :lol

Because there is NO context for it in the trailer. Its just arbitrarily stuck in there. I think that scream is used in every Star Wars movie.

There is simply not one good shot in that whole trailer.

 

[Duck of Death]

That scream is called the "Wilhelm Scream." It is in FAR too many action films.

And the funniest part of that trailer is Michael Madson's "brutal" punch :lol

 

[Belfast]

I like Michael Madsen and all, but that has to be the wussiest punch I've ever seen anyone throw.

 

[Monk]

what ths fuck is this:

Even Buffy had better vampires...

 

[Warm Machine]

I like Michael Madsen and all, but that has to be the wussiest punch I've ever seen anyone throw.

Come on, that's the trailers money shot! Thats as good as the action ever gets!

 

[FoneBone]

Come on, that's the trailers money shot! Thats as good as the action ever gets!

Yeah -- I find it rather amusing that the trailer doesn't have a single halfway "cool"-looking shot. Even crap like RE Apocalypse and Elektra have had better trailers than that. Of course, those films' directors don't even approach Uwe Boll for sheer crappiness.

 

[Flynn]

You guys are talking about The Wilhelm, but I don't think that's it.

http://www.filmsound.org/cliche/ (page down for lots of Wilhelm links).

 

[Gregory]

what ths fuck is this:

:lol Brilliant.

 

[Richiban]

Wait...this isn't going to be on TBS?!

 

[Triumph]

WELL THAT'S TWO MINUTES OF MY LIFE I'LL NEVER HAVE BACK

Fuck. I made better movies in high school. One was about a deaf mute who loved jazz music.