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[FoneBone]

Priceless.

http://www.superherohype.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=117471

 

[TekunoRobby]

You bet your little closed-toe booties it is, Cat-fans.

HAH HAH CRAZY BASTARD

 

[heavy liquid]

This movie will be worse than I ever imagined.

"Catwoman tapped her nails on the zinc bar. She cocked her head, seeming to ponder the question, then said, 'White Russian, no ice. Hold the vodka and Kahlua.'

The bartender blinked again [...]

The bartender reappeared, bearing a shot glass brimming with white liquid.

'Cream - straight up,' he announced, and set it before her."

*barf*

 

[Prospero]

Watching the anti-hype surrounding this movie is more impressive than the film itself could actually be. If I didn't want to give up two valuable hours of my life, I'd sneak into this just to see how the audience reacted.

 

[Bregor]

The best thing I got out of that thread is that there is a fan made Ghostbusters vs. Freddy movie on the internet.

 

[Father_Brain]

My personal favorite:

"Catwoman shook her head, cocking a thumb at the dancer's outfit. 'Leatherette, honey? It just looks so cheap. You should always splurge for the real thing' - she ran her hands along her thighs, conscious of Armando's hungry stare - 'leather moves when you do; it breathes with you. Makes all the difference in the world...'

Suddenly she spied a bullwhip coiled around the dancer's belt. Catwoman licked her lips covetuously, extended one graceful, diamond-tipped hand toward the dancer.

'Kitty want whip,' she purred. 'Gimme. Now.'

The dancer gasped and stumbled backward as Catwoman snatched the whip from her belt. She ran her hands over it greedily, then cracked it a few times. On the floor below the crowd laughed and applauded, egging her on.

She crouched, then leaped toward the edge of the stage as she sent the whip snaking through the air above her. 'Where's Helmut Newton when you need him?' "

 

[ManDudeChild]

... I wish I could un-read that.

 

[Cherubae]

oh man, that's horrible ><

kbtoys.com

Description

Based on the movie "Catwoman" starring Halle Berry, this feline doll is the purrfect addition to any Barbie collection. Barbie as Catwoman features long, black gloves and a cat mask that makes her appear mysterious. Her black pants are fashionably shredded, too.

 

[Suerte]

oh man, that's horrible ><

kbtoys.com

"Also comes with handjob action ability!"

 

[LakeEarth]

... I wish I could un-read that.

Amen.

 

[Litigation Manuel]

From the sound of it, the movie's trying to appeal to the feminist S and M cat-lover crowd.

 

[Guzim]

the crowd laughed

Which is going to happen when people see the movie.

 

[belgurdo]

This is going to be one of those movies where the audience (over) reaction will be more interesting than the movie itself.

 

[FoneBone]

More "gems":

"Oh, so you want to play with kitty, too?" she sneered, as the third thief loomed above her. She did another backflip, kicking him in the chest so that he groaned and crashed down beside his comrades. His gun went flying from his hand, sliding across the floor until it came to rest beside the first man. He blinked, then woozily started to get up.

Patience watched him, shaking her head; then dove between his legs, grabbing the gun and jumping to her feet before he could register her presence. With a calm smile, she coldcocked him.

"Are you a man or a mouse?" she asked, then watched him topple to the floor with the others. She swept up the fallen jewels, depositing them into one of the back swag bags, then started out the back door.

But before she disappeared she paused to look back into the room at the unconscious thieves. A smile played across her face as she answered her own question with a derisive hiss.

"Mice," she said, and melted into the shadows.

" 'Holy - !' someone yelped as Patience hit the floor and immediately straightened, glaring at the partyers.

"Batman," she snapped. "I'm Batman. Oh, never mind."

Catwoman) "Is the man of the house at home?"

Laurel recovered herself, running a hand self-consciously across her hair. "Why on earth would he be home?" she snapped. "I'm here."

"Too bad he missed me." Catwoman leaned in toward Laurel, her voice sultry. "I hear he loves pussy.... cats."

 

[Guzim]

" 'Holy - !' someone yelped as Patience hit the floor and immediately straightened, glaring at the partyers.

"Batman," she snapped. "I'm Batman. Oh, never mind.

 

[yoshifumi]

hahahahahahaha so bad.

 

[ManDudeChild]

I'm not opening this thread again. I'm now allergic to cheese thanks to this thread.


... I really liked cheese too

 

[MetatronM]

This is a work of genius.

 

[Drexon]

This is gonna be the best parody of a good movie evAr! Damn, I laughed so hard on the white russian joke and that action figurette obviously designed by a man with no arms and no legs.

 

[kevm3]

Damn Halle, why'd you have to do it? Why? HAHAHA this movie is going to be ridiculous. Worth seeing just to see the audience cringe.

 

[DrForester]

I bet there will be at least one review that says:

"it's better than spiderman 2"

 

[Grizzlyjin]

"Patience watched him, shaking her head; then dove between his legs, grabbing the gun and jumping to her feet before he could register her presence. With a calm smile, she coldcocked him."

"Catwoman tapped her nails on the zinc bar. She cocked her head, seeming to ponder the question, then said, 'White Russian, no ice. Hold the vodka and Kahlua"

"Catwoman shook her head, cocking a thumb at the dancer's outfit. 'Leatherette, honey? It just looks so cheap. You should always splurge for the real thing' - she ran her hands along her thighs, conscious of Armando's hungry stare - 'leather moves when you do; it breathes with you. Makes all the difference in the world..."


Gee, I wonder what was on the author's mind when they were writing this masterpiece...

 

[Escape Goat]

lol Grizz

 

[Optimistic]

This is a work of genius.

No doubt. This movie has "gold" written all over it.

 

[human5892]

I didn't know things like this could exist.

Although I have seen gay porn Harry Potter fanfic before.

 

[Felidae_Khrall]

"Out on the balcony, when Reginald kissed Diana lips, her knees went
weak. Slowly, he pulled her top down exposing her soft, unyielding breasts." Oh, yeah! Now
this is getting good! (takes a sip of booze and continues to dictate as he writes.) "Just the
sight of those breasts made Reginald's penis very hard. His penis was of considerable size,
and now beads of sweat ran slowly down his penis, making it glisten like a strong swimmer
fresh from out of the pool. It was a fantastic penis that seemed as strong as a horse's leg,
yet as delecate as a flower wrapped in silk. What a grand, grand penis! Diana's nipples..."
(stops there.) Uh, let's see! "Diana's nipples..." OH, WRITER'S BLOCK! WRITER'S BLOCK! Hm!
CRAP! I'm stuck! (to Mr. Hat, his handpuppet.) Oh, well! Maybe that's enough writing for
tonight, Mr. Hat!"

Mr. Garrison: (Dictating.) "Chapter Eighteen. Diana had never slept with another woman
before, but it was an erotic thought she often fantasized about." Oh, yeah, Mr. Hat! Hot
lesbo scene commin' up! "And as Rebecca's naked body lay before her, Diana couldn't help but
feel aroused. 'Go on', Rebecca said softly, 'Touch me'. Diana leaned down slowly and brushed
Rebecca's bare stomach with her fingertips. It felt good, like a penis. A soft, but sturdy
penis that felt warm to the touch. In Rebecca's mind, she suddenly felt like she was
surrounded by penises. They were all around her, flopping all around and slapping her face.
It was as if she were in a redwood forest of penises. They presented themselves tall and
mighty all around her with..." (Mr. Hat starts leaning down towards Mr. Garrison's crotch
underneath the desk where we can't see.) Mr. Hat! What the hell are you doing?! (starts
feeling pleasure.) Oh, Mr. Hat!"

These are excerpts from Mr Garrisons, Gay Pulizter Prize winning novel.

I think Catwoman should get the prize.