Support NeoGAF

[Happosai]

I don't know who bumped this but you asked for it...

I have a very strict diet and it's a routine diet (which is usually the same thing daily). However, every other weekend I'll eat things that hit my gut wrong. My gut can't handle fast food or junk food in general. A couple months back I cleared out my room with a fart that smelled like someone set a dusty cardboard crate on fire. The next night, the farts came back smelling like dirt baked in an over alongside rotting meat. They burn too when they go out which is always the first warning.

If you're curious as to what the catalyst is and why they're not meant for the human body: processed foods. That's it. By the way... Tschumi 's been gone like a year now -- what gives?

 

[Elder Legend]

Thankfully no, and I normally don't use public restrooms. I will tell you though I did manage to invent a time-bending shit once and it felt great!

 

[kanjobazooie]

I will tell you though I did manage to invent a time-bending shit once and it felt great!

And I was there to witness it.

 

[Elder Legend]

And I was there to witness it.

While fondling the mice balls at same time as usual.

 

[ParaSeoul]

By the way... Tschumi 's been gone like a year now -- what gives?

He just disappeared randomly and never gave a reason

 

[ParaSeoul]

Been two years damn

 

[BlackTron]

For whatever reason, when I was a teenager, I had to poop every time I played Mega Man 3. I don't know why, but that was just how things went back then. So me and my buddy were playing MM3 and I felt a nice firm poop trying to escape. I put down my controller and told him I needed to go upstairs to use the restroom. At this time, I had just become cool enough to start wearing boxers. Anyways, I began walking up the stairs and I could see that my friend was beginning to follow me. I'm about a quarter way up the stairs when I feel the urge to fart.

I let it loose.

What followed was the feeling of a single little pebble of turd matter grazing down my upper leg through my boxers, out of my basketball shorts, and right onto the stairs. I kept my cool and continued to ascend the stairs, but I was in pure terror. My buddy walked up behind me and suddenly stopped. He shouted, "what the heck!? there is poop on the stairs!." Keeping my cool, I replied, "Oh, that's weird, it must have been the cat. I'll get it." I then proceeded to the restroom, grabbed a tissue, came back down and picked up my own shit with a tissue then threw it in the toilet. To this day, no one knows that it wasn't the cat. Now I only wear briefs so that my poop has no chance of escaping.

Thanks for reading my brief story.

 

[mitch1971]

Thanks for reading my briefs story.

 

[ParaSeoul]

I don't know who bumped this but you asked for it...

I have a very strict diet and it's a routine diet (which is usually the same thing daily). However, every other weekend I'll eat things that hit my gut wrong. My gut can't handle fast food or junk food in general. A couple months back I cleared out my room with a fart that smelled like someone set a dusty cardboard crate on fire. The next night, the farts came back smelling like dirt baked in an over alongside rotting meat. They burn too when they go out which is always the first warning.

If you're curious as to what the catalyst is and why they're not meant for the human body: processed foods. That's it. By the way... Tschumi 's been gone like a year now -- what gives?

He's still missing in action...

 

[ParaSeoul]

Waiting for the king to reclaim his throne

 

[The Lunch Legend]

Old GAF, back at it again

 

[The Stig]

Nothing really special.

I dont know the exact date but my friend was over and we were watching Hornblower (great show) in my room on my TV, so like 2000 or so.

We had eaten pizza hut a few hours earlier (dont know if it's related) and all of a sudden I HAD TO GO. I leave the room and go around the corner to the toilet.

I have never had such LOUD diarrhea and it was such a MASSIVE exorcism that my groans were even louder than the farts/exorcisms.

5 or 10 minutes later I come back and ask if my mate can recap what I missed on the show and he said he couldn't because he couldn't hear anything over my noises and my TV didn't have subtitles!

edit - lol at the resurrected thread

 

[Kenneth Haight]

 

[Trogdor1123]

Nothing really special.

I dont know the exact date but my friend was over and we were watching Hornblower (great show) in my room on my TV, so like 2000 or so.

We had eaten pizza hut a few hours earlier (dont know if it's related) and all of a sudden I HAD TO GO. I leave the room and go around the corner to the toilet.

I have never had such LOUD diarrhea and it was such a MASSIVE exorcism that my groans were even louder than the farts/exorcisms.

5 or 10 minutes later I come back and ask if my mate can recap what I missed on the show and he said he couldn't because he couldn't hear anything over my noises and my TV didn't have subtitles!

edit - lol at the resurrected thread

And you were watching hornblower. The jokes write themselves sometimes

 

[The Stig]

this was literally me. if i was standing on a skateboard it could have pushed me along

 

[Kenneth Haight]

this was literally me. if i was standing on a skateboard it could have pushed me along

 

[Bitmap Frogs]

Waiting for the king to reclaim his throne

I do miss tschumi as well