Support NeoGAF

[Messofanego]

I've done it too, juggling 4 girls at the same time. Also a big "never again." It's too much work. I'm old, I want to relax.

I'm doing 4 first dates this week, don't tell me Zackie is slowing down Have done 2 already. Third is tomorrow before work. Hopefully this girl I'm actually attracted to. It's tough to go from picture and IRL.

Second date which was today showed all the classic signs of not being interested in body language. Looking away, at her phone or other people. I get you're a busy legal consulting lady who wants to get back to work but I also had work after the date and if you actually like me, you'd pay attention. Not making full eye contact for very long. Could be she's just nervous but I didn't feel much on my part. She's the one my mom liked, sorry to disappoint her lol.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

All went well,in my opinion,as usual I was scared for nothing,we had a nice chat,a drive around the city,and we watched planes land and lift off for a bit while we had some sushi. Hopefully there will be another date with her.

Sounds like a fun first date!

 

[Incendiary]

Neither of the Tinder dates I had last week have felt inclined to respond to my "had a good time, hope we can do this again soon!" texts after the fact, so looks like it's back to the Tinder drawing board.

I know the answer to this question already, but I want to ask just to confirm my own thoughts. There was a girl I went on a few dates with back in Oct/Nov of last year. We had awesome chemistry and we're getting along great, but she started a new medication and drifted off and got very depressed and shied away from dating. Last correspondence was in December when I asked her how she was doing and got no response.

Still have her number - have been recently thinking about her because no dates/Tinder conversations I've had recently have had that same awesome, immediate chemistry. I shouldn't contact her, but a part of me says "yes, but it was just bad timing and maybe with no medication issues it'll turn out better!" I'm right in not contacting her, right? Especially since it's been so long and she hasn't bothered to try and get in touch with me.

 

[jdstorm]

Neither of the Tinder dates I had last week have felt inclined to respond to my "had a good time, hope we can do this again soon!" texts after the fact, so looks like it's back to the Tinder drawing board.

I know the answer to this question already, but I want to ask just to confirm my own thoughts. There was a girl I went on a few dates with back in Oct/Nov of last year. We had awesome chemistry and we're getting along great, but she started a new medication and drifted off and got very depressed and shied away from dating. Last correspondence was in December when I asked her how she was doing and got no response.

Still have her number - have been recently thinking about her because no dates/Tinder conversations I've had recently have had that same awesome, immediate chemistry. I shouldn't contact her, but a part of me says "yes, but it was just bad timing and maybe with no medication issues it'll turn out better!" I'm right in not contacting her, right? Especially since it's been so long and she hasn't bothered to try and get in touch with me.

Depression is a tricky thing to deal with, both as the person who has it and as someone who is friends/partners with them. Dating someone with a mental illness is definitely challenging. However if you are up for taking the chance you should definitely contact her. Depressed people rarely make much of an effort to contact others.

Good luck

Edit: PS If she is still working through something it's probably better to play it low key and don't look to have any official dates. Say something that affirms your intention that you think she is worth dating, and that you would like to date her but keeps everything very low pressure

 

[Afrocious]

So I'm going on a first date with a 21 year old tonight. Met her off Tinder. We talked a bit about Pokemon GO so we're gonna hit some pokestops and get dinner.

I'm 26. I'm not overly anxious, but I do feel like other 21 year olds I meet tend to have less going on since they're only focusing on school, so they kind of are more inclined to do wilder things. I prefer to chill at bars and go out to get new food.

I'm just gonna treat her like any other girl I meet who's out of school, minus the taking out to drink. She's 21 yeah, but I feel many folks don't chill at bars until they're older.

 

[NIGHT-]

So I have a date with a girl tonight, but she may be a bit bigger than her pof pics have led on. I added her to fb and Instagram. She said her fb pics don't do her justice, but her Instagram has a recent video from earlier this year, and she certainly looks bigger than her pof pics have allowed me to believe. All her pof pics are taken at weird angles, and I find this kind of deceiving. She still seems like a cool girl with a great personality, but I've always dated thin/athletic women. Should I still give this a go? I'm a bit unsure with things now

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

So I'm going on a first date with a 21 year old tonight. Met her off Tinder. We talked a bit about Pokemon GO so we're gonna hit some pokestops and get dinner.

I'm 26. I'm not overly anxious, but I do feel like other 21 year olds I meet tend to have less going on since they're only focusing on school, so they kind of are more inclined to do wilder things. I prefer to chill at bars and go out to get new food.

I'm just gonna treat her like any other girl I meet who's out of school, minus the taking out to drink. She's 21 yeah, but I feel many folks don't chill at bars until they're older.

Like you said, I wouldn't worry too much about the age issue. She could be the most mature 21-year-old ever.

So I have a date with a girl tonight, but she may be a bit bigger than her pof pics have led on. I added her to fb and Instagram. She said her fb pics don't do her justice, but her Instagram has a recent video from earlier this year, and she certainly looks bigger than her pof pics have allowed me to believe. All her pof pics are taken at weird angles, and I find this kind of deceiving. She still seems like a cool girl with a great personality, but I've always dated thin/athletic women. Should I still give this a go? I'm a bit unsure with things now

Big girls need love too. If you feel deceived, cut the date short.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Remember that time when [insert poster's name who thought they were right] showed us all up?

Spoiler

I love you Ray Wonder

Yinz might have been wrong at that moment, but I still should've listened. Because fuck that person. lol

 

[Mory Dunz]

So I have a date with a girl tonight, but she may be a bit bigger than her pof pics have led on. I added her to fb and Instagram. She said her fb pics don't do her justice, but her Instagram has a recent video from earlier this year, and she certainly looks bigger than her pof pics have allowed me to believe. All her pof pics are taken at weird angles, and I find this kind of deceiving. She still seems like a cool girl with a great personality, but I've always dated thin/athletic women. Should I still give this a go? I'm a bit unsure with things now

like....she said this...outloud to you? Or via text?

That just reeks of "there's something wrong" to me. Especially if said unprompted.
Or maybe insecurity.

But yeah, no harm in going on the date I guess

 

[Incendiary]

Depression is a tricky thing to deal with, both as the person who has it and as someone who is friends/partners with them. Dating someone with a mental illness is definitely challenging. However if you are up for taking the chance you should definitely contact her. Depressed people rarely make much of an effort to contact others.

Good luck

Edit: PS If she is still working through something it's probably better to play it low key and don't look to have any official dates. Say something that affirms your intention that you think she is worth dating, and that you would like to date her but keeps everything very low pressure

Hmmmm...this isn't what I was expecting to hear, but thanks. My biggest worry that because it's been so long it'll be weird if I reach out to her. I've dealt with depression myself before and understand it, so if that's still going on with her I think I can deal with that. I'm just wondering at what point should the past stay the past.

 

[gwailo]

I personally wouldn't contact her. You only went out on a few dates 9 or 10 months ago. If you send a text now you will probably come off as thirsty/desperate at best and maybe creepy/stalkerish at worst. Also if she has depression to the point where she is taking meds and they are/were reacting poorly, that's not a situation with a real quick turnaround. She probably has to concentrate on getting herself better rather than dating. I would delete he number and move on.

 

[Incendiary]

I personally wouldn't contact her. You only went out on a few dates 9 or 10 months ago. If you send a text now you will probably come off as thirsty/desperate at best and maybe creepy/stalkerish at worst. Also if she has depression to the point where she is taking meds and they are/were reacting poorly, that's not a situation with a real quick turnaround. She probably has to concentrate on getting herself better rather than dating. I would delete he number and move on.

Yeah that was my initial thought. And to clarify, the meds were what caused the depression - they were for back pain and the depression was an unintended side effect. It's why we had such amazing chemistry initially but then things cooled off because she started the meds. She was in the process of changing to a different medication when we stopped talking.

But yeah, I don't think I'm going to reach out to her, it's just hard not to think about the what if, especially when all my recent dates and conversations have been lackluster.

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

She still seems like a cool girl with a great personality, but I've always dated thin/athletic women. Should I still give this a go? I'm a bit unsure with things now

Unless she told you she was 90lbs and is in actuality 300lbs when you show up and thus lied to your face (which would be an actual reason to be upset), why the hell are you a "bit unsure of things now?"

Jesus Christ, you said yourself she seems awesome with a great personality, how are you so far up your own ass that you wont even go on a date with her just because you have a feeling she is bigger then her profile pics?

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Unless she told you she was 90lbs and is in actuality 300lbs when you show up and thus lied to your face (which would be an actual reason to be upset), why the hell are you a "bit unsure of things now?"

Jesus Christ, you said yourself she seems awesome with a great personality, how are you so far up your own ass that you wont even go on a date with her just because you have a feeling she is bigger then her profile pics?

Frankly people misrepresent themselves with photos for a reason. And if dude wants to date a skinny girl why exactly is he not free to make that choice? While I don't like to promote vanity, at the same time dude has to be the one actually on the date so if this makes him unsure why shouldn't he acknowledge it? Because it sounds mean? Sorry but who gives a fuck? This entire thread we tell people they need to get over rejection and accept they can get ghosted or ignored for any reason.

Online dating and things like tinder has an aspect of vanity to them, we shouldnt demonize someone for honestly acknowledging it matters to them. Espexially when the person is already back pedaling as to why there photos are not as advertised.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

It's like... if you're dishonest about your pictures then what else could you be dishonest about?

 

[Lionheart1827]

So I have a date with a girl tonight, but she may be a bit bigger than her pof pics have led on. I added her to fb and Instagram. She said her fb pics don't do her justice, but her Instagram has a recent video from earlier this year, and she certainly looks bigger than her pof pics have allowed me to believe. All her pof pics are taken at weird angles, and I find this kind of deceiving. She still seems like a cool girl with a great personality, but I've always dated thin/athletic women. Should I still give this a go? I'm a bit unsure with things now

Yeah this reminds me of a date I went on a couple of years ago. We had set up a date and I'm not sure how the conversation got there, but I had said "not to worry, my pictures are only a week old" and she said "cool, same here."

When we finally had the date, I was greeted to a much more rotund person, almost didnt even look like her. She was ok when texting but in person she had all sorts of hangups and was extremely bitchy. There wasn't a 2nd date.

On the other hand, one of my longer relationships, she had only 2 pictures and they werent that great, but I figured "eh what the hell." Met her and she ended up being a lot better than the pictures and that relationship lasted a few years.

So you really never know until you meet them in person, there are so many other variables. I say give it a go.

EDIT: Damn, just noticed this was from yesterday. Did you end up going?

 

[Armadilo]

On tinder, when finally get matched someone. How would you start the conversation / what do you say?

 

[Gotdatmoney]

It's like... if you're dishonest about your pictures then what else could you be dishonest about?

I mean I get why people do this. It's the idea that if they just get to know them then this other aspect may be overlookable. Which to an extent is true. I just think that if that is going to be someones strategy you also dont have to accept it to be "fair" or w/e. This is dating. You can get disqualified for anything. Not looking like you proposed is like one of the most entirely reasonable criteria for "nope"

 

[NIGHT-]

Yeah this reminds me of a date I went on a couple of years ago. We had set up a date and I'm not sure how the conversation got there, but I had said "not to worry, my pictures are only a week old" and she said "cool, same here."

When we finally had the date, I was greeted to a much more rotund person, almost didnt even look like her. She was ok when texting but in person she had all sorts of hangups and was extremely bitchy. There wasn't a 2nd date.

On the other hand, one of my longer relationships, she had only 2 pictures and they werent that great, but I figured "eh what the hell." Met her and she ended up being a lot better than the pictures and that relationship lasted a few years.

So you really never know until you meet them in person, there are so many other variables. I say give it a go.

EDIT: Damn, just noticed this was from yesterday. Did you end up going?

Yea I ended up going and we had some pretty solid conversation. She was definitely bigger than "camera angle" pics led on( but not obese or anything). But she was a lot of fun to talk to and we have a lot of common interest. She seems pretty active and has lost some weight over the past year, so I may see where this leads to.

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

Frankly people misrepresent themselves with photos for a reason. And if dude wants to date a skinny girl why exactly is he not free to make that choice? While I don't like to promote vanity, at the same time dude has to be the one actually on the date so if this makes him unsure why shouldn't he acknowledge it? Because it sounds mean? Sorry but who gives a fuck? This entire thread we tell people they need to get over rejection and accept they can get ghosted or ignored for any reason.

Online dating and things like tinder has an aspect of vanity to them, we shouldnt demonize someone for honestly acknowledging it matters to them. Espexially when the person is already back pedaling as to why there photos are not as advertised.

You aren't wrong at all, and people misrepresenting themselves online shouldn't be tolerated at all as it is BS. However, to view pictures of someone and deem them acceptable, converse with them to the point a date is setup and her character is deemed to be on point and then all of a sudden not even want to go on a date with her because some of the additional photos show her to be different (we don't know how much we could be talking marginally) just seems ridiculous. Yes people online are shitty and vane he has probably had women not want to talk to him because of his looks and such, but that doesn't mean that because it happens he has to continue that trend himself.

You say we shouldn't demonize him for saying physical fitness matters to him, but I doubt very much he's fully admitting that is his main requirement in his profile to people.

Yea I ended up going and we had some pretty solid conversation. She was definitely bigger than "camera angle" pics led on( but not obese or anything). But she was a lot of fun to talk to and we have a lot of common interest. She seems pretty active and has lost some weight over the past year, so I may see where this leads to.

I am glad you guys had a good time and it wasn't wasted for you. I do apologize if i came off too dickish before. It just amazes me sometimes that people can get in the way of themselves from potentially experiencing something awesome for sometimes the most trivial of reasons and at no real cost.

 

[Mory Dunz]

Yea I ended up going and we had some pretty solid conversation. She was definitely bigger than "camera angle" pics led on( but not obese or anything). But she was a lot of fun to talk to and we have a lot of common interest. She seems pretty active and has lost some weight over the past year, so I may see where this leads to.

wait...how do you know this?

I am glad you guys had a good time and it wasn't wasted for you. I do apologize if i came off too dickish before. It just amazes me sometimes that people can get in the way of themselves from potentially experiencing something awesome for sometimes the most trivial of reasons and at no real cost.

Being physically attracted to someone you want to romance is not trivial at all.
The cost is time and money

 

[Ray Wonder]

On tinder, when finally get matched someone. How would you start the conversation / what do you say?

Look at her profile, find something interesting that she's doing, something she's wearing, how she looks, what's written in her profile.

If you're having trouble matching, I'd suggest having a little better of a first message than "hey cutie" or something of that sort.

I'll give you some examples that got positive replies, and some got dates. I'm a bit of a goof though, so do what you will with them:

For instance: saw a girl smiling (super white teeth), says she's a dentist in her profile. I said "Are you actually a dentist, or is that your way of bragging about your flawless smile?"

Nothing ended up happening ^

I saw a girl that had in her profile something about being a Rob Dyrdek fan (I am too), she had a cat in her profile (I do too), so I said "I sing "he's my best friend" to my cat daily." (Simple and interesting to reply to)

Date ^

Girl had a slight attitude in her profile and also had cats in her profile.
"I'm just here to exchange cat pics, but I doubt you're about that life."

Nothing ended up happening ^

Girl's profile said "Let's go out and have an awkward first in person interaction where I'll nervous drink, and you'll talk too much."
I said "I'm really good at being awkward"

Little more than a date ^

Girl had a pic with baking gloves, holding a jar, in a hallway. I said "What possible reason could you be holding a really hot jar in a hallway posing for a picture?"

Date ^

None of them are anything spectacular, but they start the conversation in a way that isn't "Hey "

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

The cost is time and money

Shit yeah, forgot about that. I too find it hard to fit in 30mins to 1 hour during the course of a week or 2 to sit and talk with someone. Add to that the potential to shell out $5 for a coffee to go along with it, and it would definitely set back my life goals to the point I would really question whether I even want to bother going.

Time to sit back and wait for that chick with the 6 pack to come along and just really click with me and get me for who I am. No point wasting time and money before it happens.

 

[Mory Dunz]

Shit yeah, forgot about that. I too find it hard to fit in 30mins to 1 hour during the course of a week or 2 to sit and talk with someone. Add to that the potential to shell out $5 for a coffee to go along with it, and it would definitely set back my life goals to the point I would really question whether I even want to bother going.

Time to sit back and wait for that chick with the 6 pack to come along and just really click with me and get me for who I am. No point wasting time and money before it happens.

....lol what

 

[Ray Wonder]

....lol what

Super duper clear sarcasm lol

 

[War Peaceman]

The five dollar thing cracks me up everytime.

 

[radioactivez0r]

Shit yeah, forgot about that. I too find it hard to fit in 30mins to 1 hour during the course of a week or 2 to sit and talk with someone. Add to that the potential to shell out $5 for a coffee to go along with it, and it would definitely set back my life goals to the point I would really question whether I even want to bother going.

Time to sit back and wait for that chick with the 6 pack to come along and just really click with me and get me for who I am. No point wasting time and money before it happens.

I appreciated this

 

[GK86]

$5 coffee, $6 parking...some of y'all are cheap as hell.

 

[gaiages]

Shit yeah, forgot about that. I too find it hard to fit in 30mins to 1 hour during the course of a week or 2 to sit and talk with someone. Add to that the potential to shell out $5 for a coffee to go along with it, and it would definitely set back my life goals to the point I would really question whether I even want to bother going.

Time to sit back and wait for that chick with the 6 pack to come along and just really click with me and get me for who I am. No point wasting time and money before it happens.

Yeah... That dripping sarcasm isn't really necessary.

People have different markers for choosing to talk to someone, date someone, and so on. End of story.

 

[NIGHT-]

wait...how do you know this?



Being physically attracted to someone you want to romance is not trivial at all.
The cost is time and money

Well, she told me that she's a gymnast coach and has lost a lot of weight over the past year, since her divorce. Her job keeps her active

 

[Mory Dunz]

Super duper clear sarcasm lol

I know.


If you're going to argue that dating doesn't take Time and Money, then all I can say is "...lol what".

Well, she told me that she's a gymnast coach and has lost a lot of weight over the past year, since her divorce. Her job keeps her active

okay cool. She's a gymnast coach.
I was just making sure it wasn't like "oh yeah i like to exercise". Trust no man.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

You aren't wrong at all, and people misrepresenting themselves online shouldn't be tolerated at all as it is BS. However, to view pictures of someone and deem them acceptable, converse with them to the point a date is setup and her character is deemed to be on point and then all of a sudden not even want to go on a date with her because some of the additional photos show her to be different (we don't know how much we could be talking marginally) just seems ridiculous. Yes people online are shitty and vane he has probably had women not want to talk to him because of his looks and such, but that doesn't mean that because it happens he has to continue that trend himself.

I'm not here to give advice based on a moral ground of "don't also be shitty". I'm here to say that if dude has second thoughts on this he need not worry about vanity. Its Tinder. It is going to be vane, there is no point in tip toeing around it. If dude feels someone misrepresented themselves that's valid.

You say we shouldn't demonize him for saying physical fitness matters to him, but I doubt very much he's fully admitting that is his main requirement in his profile to people.

This is largely pointless. You swipe based on what you can accept. He doesnt have to broadcast it, the pictures are gonna come up regardless of what his profile says.

Really though this isn't my point. I aint here to talk about people being open. Nor is this really about promoting vanity. It is not good to be extremely judgemental "but" he is the one going on the date. If something is a flag/requirement for him why should you not note it? If he was asking for advice on taste he would have said so.

That said he went on the date and it was good so obviously this turned out fine. But if he bailed out it's also entirely valid. People will bail on you for less and it's valid because you arent owed a date. If the vain aspects of dating didnt matter a lot of this thread would be redundent wouldnt it?

Their is an aspect of vanity to dating. It's not worth pretending its not real.

 

[Ray Wonder]

I know.


If you're going to argue that dating doesn't take Time and Money, then all I can say is "...lol what".

I didn't catch that he was being sarcastic to you with that reply. oops. lol

 

[NIGHT-]

The only reason I brought it up, is because I've been fooled with misleading pics with online dating before. Women/guys can be very clever with the way they take their pics. I usually try to stick to profiles that have full body pics

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Yeah... That dripping sarcasm isn't really necessary.

People have different markers for choosing to talk to someone, date someone, and so on. End of story.

By all means even if his sarcasm is unneeded there is a valid point in there.

If people have a standard that they want a fit athlete then they also better recognize that this isnt unique and you are competing with "everyone" for that.

So self filter, have your standards, we all do, but dint be surprised if you get no responses when you set the bar at a high level.

I see no point in trying to make people wanna date those they are not typically attracted to because "shalliw is bad" but I also expect that if you wanna date models only, you arent bitching when you can't score a megan markle or a ryan reynolds.

I'm kind of expecting in this thread people recognize that based on what you want its going to be easier or harder.

 

[Mory Dunz]

By all means even if his sarcasm is unneeded there is a valid point in there.

If people have a standard that they want a fit athlete then they also better recognize that this isnt unique and you are competing with "everyone" for that.

So self filter, have your standards, we all do, but dint be surprised if you get no responses when you set the bar at a high level.

I see no point in trying to make people wanna date those they are not typically attracted to because "shalliw is bad" but I also expect that if you wanna date models only, you arent bitching when you can't score a megan markle or a ryan reynolds.

I'm kind of expecting in this thread people recognize that based on what you want its going to be easier or harder.

But hey, he only mentioned "thin/athletic".

For all we know he just likes that body type, and has been dating thin girls with butt ugly faces. Which would hardly be an unachievable model. So I say go for it.

Spoiler

lol

 

[Gotdatmoney]

But hey, he only mentioned "thin/athletic".

For all we know he just likes that body type, and has been dating thin girls with butt ugly faces. Which would hardly be an unachievable model. So I say go for it.

Spoiler

lol

Lulz

When you assune you make an ass out of u and me.

Granted I actually only date models. And they are rich. And they have phds. Expensive as fuck with their money, cheap as fuck with mine. No $6 parking wasted for me.

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

If you're going to argue that dating doesn't take Time and Money, then all I can say is "...lol what".

No where did I say it doesn't take time and money, but if you are going to tell me that your time is so valuable you cant make 30 minutes for someone to see if something clicks, then what point do you even have dating in the first place? Better that he stays at home i guess until his perfect match turns up so he doesn't waste his time, instead of getting out and possibly meeting someone cool.

By all means even if his sarcasm is unneeded there is a valid point in there.

If people have a standard that they want a fit athlete then they also better recognize that this isnt unique and you are competing with "everyone" for that.

So self filter, have your standards, we all do, but dint be surprised if you get no responses when you set the bar at a high level.

I see no point in trying to make people wanna date those they are not typically attracted to because "shallow is bad" but I also expect that if you wanna date models only, you arent bitching when you can't score a megan markle or a ryan reynolds.

I'm kind of expecting in this thread people recognize that based on what you want its going to be easier or harder.

I also didn't say you have to date someone you aren't attracted to, because that would be pointless and stupid and most likely lead to you being unhappy. But coming on GAF to ask for advice and info in a dating thread, and the issue being that she might be be 100% up to your requirements in the physical fitness department based on some additional photos is ridiculous. It would be one thing for there to be other issues that put her character in question, but he spelled out that she seemed really cool specifically at the same time.

Him having a good time is exactly the point I was getting at. You question yourself and filter out so much ahead of time, that you forget that you can still have a good time if you get out of your own head. Maybe they don't go on a second date and maybe they do, but its not as if he would have ruined his day/week/month by meeting with her to give it a shot.

 

[Mory Dunz]

Lulz

When you assune you make an ass out of u and me.

Granted I actually only date models. And they are rich. And they have phds. Expensive as fuck with their money, cheap as fuck with mine. No $6 parking wasted for me.

You forgot to mention "and shorter than me, but tall enough so that all the other weak beta plebs have to look up to her when we struttin"

No where did I say it doesn't take time and money, but if you are going to tell me that your time is so valuable you cant make 30 minutes for someone to see if something clicks, then what point do you even have dating in the first place? Better that he stays at home i guess until his perfect match turns up so he doesn't waste his time, instead of getting out and possibly meeting someone cool.

You keep pulling numbers out your butt here, tbh.

Unless ol girl is literally your next door neighbor, "30 minutes" is drive-time, or more. For the actual date it'd usually last at least an hour or more, unless it's cut short.
In what world is spending multiple hours on something not a time commitment? I mean people start getting antsy when that church service passes the hour mark like >_>

As far as money, it might be $5. It might be more if you eat dinner and do stuff. Could also be less. What it comes down to is he wants to or not. He went, which is cool.

But looking for someone who's thin and not overweight is hardly searching for a "perfect match", dang.

 

[gaiages]

I agree with both Money and Mory. They are like the Dating Gurus

When it comes to preferences it's all about balance. I think in NIGHTs case his words were a bit overblown by others. Disingenuous pics suck.

 

[ZackieChan]

This is largely pointless. You swipe based on what you can accept. He doesnt have to broadcast it, the pictures are gonna come up regardless of what his profile says.

Really though this isn't my point. I aint here to talk about people being open. Nor is this really about promoting vanity. It is not good to be extremely judgemental "but" he is the one going on the date. If something is a flag/requirement for him why should you not note it? If he was asking for advice on taste he would have said so.

That said he went on the date and it was good so obviously this turned out fine. But if he bailed out it's also entirely valid. People will bail on you for less and it's valid because you arent owed a date. If the vain aspects of dating didnt matter a lot of this thread would be redundent wouldnt it?

Their is an aspect of vanity to dating. It's not worth pretending its not real.

Yep. Even our own Vern only dates girls with abnormally large foreheads. We all have our niche, I guess. No crime in passing on those you know you won't be attracted to!

No where did I say it doesn't take time and money, but if you are going to tell me that your time is so valuable you cant make 30 minutes for someone to see if something clicks, then what point do you even have dating in the first place? Better that he stays at home i guess until his perfect match turns up so he doesn't waste his time, instead of getting out and possibly meeting someone cool.



I also didn't say you have to date someone you aren't attracted to, because that would be pointless and stupid and most likely lead to you being unhappy. But coming on GAF to ask for advice and info in a dating thread, and the issue being that she might be be 100% up to your requirements in the physical fitness department based on some additional photos is ridiculous. It would be one thing for there to be other issues that put her character in question, but he spelled out that she seemed really cool specifically at the same time.

Him having a good time is exactly the point I was getting at. You question yourself and filter out so much ahead of time, that you forget that you can still have a good time if you get out of your own head. Maybe they don't go on a second date and maybe they do, but its not as if he would have ruined his day/week/month by meeting with her to give it a shot.

You're the one who is being ridiculous at this point. If you don't see how big a part physical attractiveness is in dating, then you're being willfully blind. If someone has photographic evidence that shows that they aren't your type, I don't see how that's a problem. For you, it sounds like anything but looks is a valid reason not to date them. Why? Do you date a lot? If so, why would you waste time that could be better spent on other dates?

 

[Mory Dunz]

I agree with both Money and Mory. They are like the Dating Gurus

When it comes to preferences it's all about balance. I think in NIGHTs case his words were a bit overblown by others. Disingenuous pics suck.

lol I wouldn't go that far....
Then People might notice how I never mention stuff about myself here... >_>

 

[gaiages]

lol I wouldn't go that far....
Then People might notice how I never mention stuff about myself here... >_>

I only mention my failures, so you're good. ;D

 

[Llyranor]

If I was under the impression that someone was trying to trick me into a date using dishonest means, that would be game over right there. Dealbreaker.

'It might be fun' doesn't override dishonesty over such a trivial thing as pictures. I understand why some people do it, but I am not going to date them. I don't pretend to be > 6' tall in order to trick people into dates.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

I must be doing something right, because I've actually managed to get quite a few dates this year.

Heading out now to meet with a cute Asian girl. Wish me luck!

 

[Serpico99]

Been a complete disaster for the past year since my ex moved away to the UK. Doubled my lifetime numbers thanks to these dating apps. Not bragging because the sex just made me miss her more. Not a bad looking guy despite my thinning hair, who goes to the gym regularly. I'm a Vet which I have to keep to myself because the few women who I told that I was one called me a "baby killer". I'm not a republican, so I get where they are coming from... even though I joined to pay for school.

Luckily, a friend and I realized we having feeling for one another and it's been great so far dating for the past 2 months. However, I can't help but think that I'm forcing it due to her being a friend, and not a random NYC tinder girl. I guess we will see where it goes... She is like a guy in the best ways, but I can't stop comparing her to my ex.

Anyone else feel like they forced a relationship due to pissing of mutual friends if you broke up?

 

[Xun]

After 26 years it finally happened last night (and this morning...), although I feel even more conflicted now than I did before.

As I stated before I'm not really looking for a relationship as such, and whilst nothing has been mentioned between us about where things are going I'm afraid of upsetting her. I also feel horrible since I'm not entirely sure if I find her attractive... :/

In any case it's a relief to get it done with since being a virgin felt like a massive burden mentally, but I can't help but feel bad?

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Well, the date went ok, very sweet girl
She seems to be very religious though, which could be an issue. We'll see if it goes anywhere

 

[CreepingFear]

Met a girl on Tinder last week. We've been texting for the last week. We are going on a date tonight. She has been very honest such as that she "masturbated last night to help her fall asleep", she has a nipple ring, tattoo, etc. She also said she wanted to take things slow, but at the same time she brought up watching Game of Thrones and fucking. She's never watching GOT, but she heard there was sex and nudity. What should I say on the first date? I know that I can't make it sound like a job interview or something, but I should learn about her, right? Help me Dating GAF, you are my only hope.

 

[gaiages]

Met a girl on Tinder last week. We've been texting for the last week. We are going on a date tonight. She has been very honest such as that she "masturbated last night to help her fall asleep", she has a nipple ring, tattoo, etc. She also said she wanted to take things slow, but at the same time she brought up watching Game of Thrones and fucking. She's never watching GOT, but she heard there was sex and nudity. What should I say on the first date? I know that I can't make it sound like a job interview or something, but I should learn about her, right? Help me Dating GAF, you are my only hope.

You've been texting for the whole week, what did you talk about then?

Regardless of her bluntness with her sexual experiences (or just masterbating, I dunno), I don't know why that would suddenly change having a conversation with her.

You didn't mention anything about her than things "deemed unusual as according to social norms" (social norms are boring imo, but that's not the point), so it's a little hard to offer you conversation advice since I don't know what else you actually know about her other than that.