Support NeoGAF

[DodgyGeezerFella]

This isnt a woe is me post, but something I've noticed with a couple of previous ...... flings I guess.

I'm not a serial shagger by any means, more a slow get to know have a bit of fun see how it goes type.

The past 2 women I've been involved with, were slowly getting to know each other, end up really quite into each other, getting down and dirty etc ....

Then i find out while weve been getting close, they shagged another person/s, typically during the early stages of us getting to know each other, but stopped as we hung out more and more.

Once i find this out, I'm immediately turned off by them, I'm not angry, and I don't consider it cheating as we werent anything official, but something in my head doesn't like it, like they were weighing up the options while we were getting close, so I call it off (a "fuck this" moment).

Is this odd ? Should I be thinking this way ? They always try to explain it away like its nothing but I don't buy it. Always makes me feel like second best.

Anyone else have similar experiences ?

 

[BIGWORM]

You can't expect them to immediately stop shagging other people as soon as you start talking to them. That's essentially asking them to be exclusive right off the bat, which 99.99% of the time won't happen.

 

[Herr K]

When you're into someone and in your mind that someone is also into you, you expect them not to be doing stuff with other people behind your back.

At least I don't date several people at the time, so I'd expect the other person to do the same. If they don't, they're not what I'm looking for and I simply move on.

I think it's pretty normal. That's how I roll.

 

[MUnited83]

Then i find out while weve been getting close, they shagged another person/s, typically during the early stages of us getting to know each other, but stopped as we hung out more and more.


Is this odd ? Should I be thinking this way ? They always try to explain it away like its nothing but I don't buy it. Always makes me feel like second best.

Anyone else have similar experiences ?

If they stopped when you started hanging out more and more why would you feel like "second best"? Seems the other way to me.

 

[TheGraykid]

So this kinda happened to me and my ex, I found out that a couple days after we had our first date she had sex with some other dude. Did it fuck me up? Yes. But I got over it, because it wasn't actually cheating or anything, I guess me feeling jealous and slightly betrayed (which I didn't technically have any right to feel) wasn't worth losing her over. And when I think about it now in retrospect, early in the beginning parts of relationships no one has any idea what might happen, it's not a bad thing to fully explore your options even though it feels not very nice if you're on the opposite end of it!

 

[SeanR1221]

Yes you're odd.

People date other people. You weren't "exclusive" with either of these women, so who cares.