FrenchMovieTheme
Member
apparently i have discovered EA's recipie for pissing your customers off, and just sucking complete balls all around. The ingredients are as follows:
1. Offer "premium" (key emphasis on the quotes) services such as advanced tournaments, and online leagues.
2. Get a nice chunk of change from Dodge to offer the service to your customers for free.
3. Use 100% half assed implementation. DON'T offer online leagues for NBA Live or any other game, only for Madden.
4. Re: Madden leagues; make them complete and total shit. The stat tracking? Make it shitty. The schedule making? Dick it up so bad that the commissioner of the league has to set each individual matchup game by game! It's too easy to just randomly generate a system that DOESN'T give multiple-bye weeks to random players, despite only setting it for 1 bye week per player.
5. Make sure that "Premium" = "Minimum" in regards to online leagues.
6. In order to appease fans of the game who demand better performance and a change in the leagues, simply change the main banner graphic on the page. They'll love it for certain
7. Give the comissioner of the league next to NO power or abilities. Someone doesn't show up for a game while his opponent is ready and willing? Fuck it, just call it a tie! Got a dead beat owner? Uh oh, everyone he plays in the league is going to get a tie on that week! You can literally go undefeated in an online league simply BY NOT DOING A GOD DAMN THING! yessssssssss
8. Why have a reliable system in reporting the games? If someone wins, there should be a CHANCE that it is reported as a non-played game, thereby giving both players a tie (even the true winner!).
9. Make sure the online league has no option to play on All-madden difficulty.
10. When the playoffs for the league roll around, simply make the league disappear. Then, send out an email saying that a player who finished last in his division won the superbowl in your league. EA MUST BE BUTTA!
11. Finally, when your customer looks for an email link, make it as difficult as possible to find. Then, when they do reach you, post the following message:
Unfortunately, we do not answer email directly from this email address. Please visit our new and improved Support Homepage at http://eatech.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/eatech.cfg/php/enduser/std_alp.php. From there you can check recent support updates, browse our knowledge base, and ask questions to get personal assistance with your particular issues.
Thereby linking you back to the exact place you had gotten the email from before!
So, there you have it. For you business/PR majors and/or future business owners, take a look at the above! That is how you create a successful business!
EA you truly are the king of kings!
1. Offer "premium" (key emphasis on the quotes) services such as advanced tournaments, and online leagues.
2. Get a nice chunk of change from Dodge to offer the service to your customers for free.
3. Use 100% half assed implementation. DON'T offer online leagues for NBA Live or any other game, only for Madden.
4. Re: Madden leagues; make them complete and total shit. The stat tracking? Make it shitty. The schedule making? Dick it up so bad that the commissioner of the league has to set each individual matchup game by game! It's too easy to just randomly generate a system that DOESN'T give multiple-bye weeks to random players, despite only setting it for 1 bye week per player.
5. Make sure that "Premium" = "Minimum" in regards to online leagues.
6. In order to appease fans of the game who demand better performance and a change in the leagues, simply change the main banner graphic on the page. They'll love it for certain
7. Give the comissioner of the league next to NO power or abilities. Someone doesn't show up for a game while his opponent is ready and willing? Fuck it, just call it a tie! Got a dead beat owner? Uh oh, everyone he plays in the league is going to get a tie on that week! You can literally go undefeated in an online league simply BY NOT DOING A GOD DAMN THING! yessssssssss
8. Why have a reliable system in reporting the games? If someone wins, there should be a CHANCE that it is reported as a non-played game, thereby giving both players a tie (even the true winner!).
9. Make sure the online league has no option to play on All-madden difficulty.
10. When the playoffs for the league roll around, simply make the league disappear. Then, send out an email saying that a player who finished last in his division won the superbowl in your league. EA MUST BE BUTTA!
11. Finally, when your customer looks for an email link, make it as difficult as possible to find. Then, when they do reach you, post the following message:
Unfortunately, we do not answer email directly from this email address. Please visit our new and improved Support Homepage at http://eatech.custhelp.com/cgi-bin/eatech.cfg/php/enduser/std_alp.php. From there you can check recent support updates, browse our knowledge base, and ask questions to get personal assistance with your particular issues.
Thereby linking you back to the exact place you had gotten the email from before!
So, there you have it. For you business/PR majors and/or future business owners, take a look at the above! That is how you create a successful business!
EA you truly are the king of kings!