• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

Do You Wipe Standing Up?

When you’re done taking a fat shit do you stand up to wipe your ass cheeks?

  • I stand up and wipe my booty hole

    Votes: 41 43.6%
  • I stay seated and lift my leg to wipe my anus

    Votes: 53 56.4%

  • Total voters
    94

8bitpill

Member
I see the NeoGAF bidet Deep State psy-op is still alive and well.

They are trying to sow division between TP and bidet users to distract us from the ruling class's continuing siphoning of wealth.

THEY WILL NOT DIVIDE US.
tenor.gif


Charlie Sheens HIV is infectious.
 

haxan7

Banned
Normally I shit in the morning. After using half the roll of paper to wipe what I can, I'll then jump in the shower to finish the job.

I do occasionally shave my ass hole, but it's such an effort, especially using a razor and a mirror. Using a clipper sounds dangerous as well as a little gross.
Clippers are easy and quick, not dangerous at all. I've done it at least 100 times. Just put your leg up on a chair and get right in there around the hole with the clippers. You'll get a feel for it. Just make sure you use a dedicated pair of ass/pube clippers.
 

GymWolf

Member
Normally I shit in the morning. After using half the roll of paper to wipe what I can, I'll then jump in the shower to finish the job.

I do occasionally shave my ass hole, but it's such an effort, especially using a razor and a mirror. Using a clipper sounds dangerous as well as a little gross.
I bet your family hated you during covid times.
 
With all due respect, if you stand before you wipe, doesn’t that just smear the shit particles all over your outer anus and internal butt cheeks? This makes no sanitary sense whatsoever. You might as well just not wipe at all 🤷‍♂️😂
 

Mistake

Member
Whichever way you wipe, just make sure you clench while you do it. You'll prevent problems. Or up your game and use wet wipes or a bidet
 
Last edited:

Dacvak

No one shall be brought before our LORD David Bowie without the true and secret knowledge of the Photoshop. For in that time, so shall He appear.
I genuinely can not understand the heathens in this thread who wipe while STANDING.

For the love of god, just do the one-cheek-lean and stop embarrassing the human race.
 

Outlier

Member
:pie_eyeroll: Every year... EVERY year, guys. There's gotta be a thread about pooping. :lollipop_poop:

I'm civilized, so I stay seated and instantly drop the tp into the water, after each wipe. :messenger_sunglasses:

Other people seem to have been raised by savages. :sick:
 

CSJ

Member
Those who swear by a bidet just have not experience certain issues others face with bowel movemnts and certain chronic issues/diseases and ass hair.

I've managed to improve my BM's a lot with medication so that it takes only a trio of wipes instead of half a roll.
If you know, you know and a bidet isn't going to fix that issue because it has nothing to do with just cleaning, but not fully emptying properly.

parks-and-rec-andy-dwyer.gif
 
Clippers are easy and quick, not dangerous at all. I've done it at least 100 times. Just put your leg up on a chair and get right in there around the hole with the clippers. You'll get a feel for it. Just make sure you use a dedicated pair of ass/pube clippers.

what-the.gif
 
I shoot a 295 psi jet stream of water up my ass until all the stanky ass shit is gone.

Then when I wipe it's just one tissue to Dry.

My Crack is a deep abyss. So a bidet is essential.
 
Last edited:

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
Furthermore, consider your nutrition. Some psyllium husks occasionally can be a miracle for your defecation.

Very underrated post.

Whenever I'm eating clean my poop is nice and firm.
Almost ghost poop.

Whenever I eat bad and drink to much coffee and alchohol oh boy I can't even...
 

NeoIkaruGAF

Gold Member
With all due respect, if you stand before you wipe, doesn’t that just smear the shit particles all over your outer anus and internal butt cheeks? This makes no sanitary sense whatsoever. You might as well just not wipe at all 🤷‍♂️😂
What kind of ungodly eldritch stuff do some of you expel from your bowels, I swear. Eat better!


BTW, this is a bidet:



And if this thing put to full blast doesn’t make your a-hole squeaky clean, you have bigger problems than choosing a position to wipe.
 
What kind of ungodly eldritch stuff do some of you expel from your bowels, I swear. Eat better!


BTW, this is a bidet:



And if this thing put to full blast doesn’t make your a-hole squeaky clean, you have bigger problems than choosing a position to wipe.

I eat the souls of my enemies 😂. I’m kidding about the whole thing, standing is fine I’m sure, but I prefer the sit down method it’s easier for coverage for me. I’m a big guy, 6’3 and my ass is large. I mix in the stand up wipe some times though, just to be doubly sure lol

I would like to personally own a bidet at some point, but over never even seen one in person in the states ever, even in hotels.
 
Last edited:
Top Bottom