Support NeoGAF

[bishoptl]

http://drtomcruisemd.blogspot.com/

Your deciding to speak out publicly and authoritatively about medical matters makes you sort of anomalous among movie actors.

You know, you get to a point where you say enough is enough. People are being misled, badly cared for, and needlessly damaged by the attitudes prevalent in American Medicine, movie actors among them.

Like whom?

Well, take for example Christopher Reeve.

Who suffered massive spinal cord injuries in a riding accident.

Exactly. Now here is a man, and I care about Christopher Reeve because I think he is an incredibly talented man. But look at him; where has his career gone?

I, uh, hate to be the one to tell you this, but Mr. Reeve passed away last year.

You're kidding.

I wish I were.

Dammit. That is devastating to me--Could I get some more iced tea?--It's painful because I know if I'd spoken out earlier, he could've been saved. That's the tragedy of it. Well, it is what it is.

What is your Medical schooling background? Isn’t it true you dropped out of High School?

It’s true that I don’t have a diploma from an American High School—but what the Medical community doesn't want you to know is that the most highly-respected Medical minds in Europe or other countries don’t have US High School diplomas either.

Yes but..

As you may recall, I played a Doctor in 'Eyes Wide Shut.' Now this was a long shoot—Kubrick, you know, God rest his soul, but—anyway, I was absolutely immersed in this character—a licensed, practicing Doctor—for, as I say, well over a year. So it’s not like I don’t have the experience, or know how these guys think.

Do you have anything more to say about Post-Partum Depression?

Just that I'm sorry things were taken the wrong way. I adore Brooke. I just think she's the victim here. The Medical Community is playing on women's tendency to be needy and want fixing. So they say 'Take this pill.' Let's face it, women have a lot of mental problems in general. They're always saying 'I'm depressed, I lack energy, I can't pay attention. I fear social situations. I'm tired of living this lie.' But trapping them into a life of medication isn't the answer. Of course, question it and they rally to defend pills like battered women defend their husbands. Bitches are stupid. I say that with love and understanding.

:lol :lol

 

[DarienA]

You know, you get to a point where you say enough is enough. People are being misled, badly cared for, and needlessly damaged by the attitudes prevalent in American Medicine, movie actors among them.

Like whom?

Well, take for example Christopher Reeve.

Who suffered massive spinal cord injuries in a riding accident.

Exactly. Now here is a man, and I care about Christopher Reeve because I think he is an incredibly talented man. But look at him; where has his career gone?

I, uh, hate to be the one to tell you this, but Mr. Reeve passed away last year.

You're kidding.

I wish I were.

Dammit. That is devastating to me--Could I get some more iced tea?--It's painful because I know if I'd spoken out earlier, he could've been saved. That's the tragedy of it. Well, it is what it is.

:lol

Howard played a clip of an interview from Australian 60 minutes this morning... it was... strange.

 

[Willco]

:lol

SCIENTOLOGY FUCK YEAH!

 

[Pedigree Chum]

The Reeves part is really funny, how could he have not heard about his death? He's in fucking showbiz himself. Scientology is fucking this man up, someone save him stat.

 

[akascream]

Let's face it, women have a lot of mental problems in general.

Some things are funny because they are true!

Could I get some more iced tea?

Now that's tact. :lol

I guess at that point, anything he said would have been pretty akward, but still heh.

 

[bishoptl]

it's a joke

edit: although now that I think about it, the fact that you guys didn't blink at all re: this being real is the funniest bit

 

[DarienA]

The Reeves part is really funny, how could he have not heard about his death? He's in fucking showbiz himself. Scientology is fucking this man up, someone save him stat.

ummm this is a joke blog... taken on some stuff he's said recently, but most of it is just jokingly made up by the blogger.

This was funny Bish but the Darth Vader blog is still my favorite.

 

[Willco]

it's a joke

It's not too far from shit he's said in real life, though, so I can see how it's confusing some people.

 

[LakeEarth]

I'm reading the quotes and I'm thinking its some kind of joke, but they're not :lol

EDIT - and now it is again :lol

 

[Spectral Glider]

Sure. I can recall an incident on the set of ‘Days of Thunder’ where a stunt driver had a horrible, high-speed accident, just barreled into a wall, and unfortunately he had been harnessed incorrectly. He was screaming in agony, his legs and several ribs were obviously very badly broken, and the first instinct of everyone on the set was to get him airlifted to a medical treatment facility. Luckily, amid all of this hysterical panic, someone was clear-thinking enough to come to my trailer to notify me of what had happened. I sprinted to the scene and insisted the air paramedic be turned away--it was clear to me that what this man was most in need of was a handful of high-potency vitamins, which I administered with all due haste.

Really? This is an effective treatment for numerous compound fractures?

Well, not on its own, obviously. I had him carried to my trailer and placed in my sauna, where he could sweat out the pain-toxins that were coursing through his bloodstream.

Pain-toxins?

And I'll tell you, he had a lot of them. I insisted that he not be allowed to leave, or he would’ve never gotten them all out. I was holed up with this sweaty, moaning stuntman in my trailer for somewhere over a week, giving him enemas several times a day, before I let the crew in to see how well he had recovered. It was really amazing.

He was completely recovered?

Well, his legs had to be amputated because he had developed embolisms near the fractures, probably as a result of his body being too toxic and polluted to let the vitamins properly do their job.

:lol :lol

I don't know what's funnier, the concept of him running from his trailer or him giving a guy enemas. Good stuff.

 

[Pedigree Chum]

it's a joke

edit: although now that I think about it, the fact that you guys didn't blink at all re: this being real is the funniest bit

Haha, seriously...you could have told that he sacrificed Katie Holmes in the name of Scientology and I probably wouldn't have second guessed it.

 

[gofreak]

The Reeves part is really funny, how could he have not heard about his death? He's in fucking showbiz himself. Scientology is fucking this man up, someone save him stat.

It's fake

edit - and i'm way late.

The gay stuff is classic :lol

 

[DarienA]

You guys should read the Ann Coutler related blog entries..

 

[siege]

Great writing. A lot of it I imagined Cruise actually saying. Hilarious stuff.

 

[akascream]

The iced tea comment was inspired.

 

[akascream]

You guys should read the Ann Coutler related blog entries..

Oh baby, who gets more hate, the conservative or the scientologist. Anyone know of any conservative scientologists? GAF would implode.

 

[yoshifumi]

:lol i wish that was real