EGM is so witty: Childs Play II - return of the made up kids comments

S

shuri

Banned
So EGM got a bunch of kids and got them playing classic games. Here are the results

When talking about Mike Tyson's punchout

Garret: "Mike Tyson" is bad publicity for this game.
Parker: Nothing is bad publicity.
Garret: Maybe Mr. T is Nintendo's marketing director. Mike Tyson was all like, "I'm gonna eat your dogs; I'm gonna eat your kids...."
Rachel: I'm not really one who likes eating people.
Click to expand...

Yeah..

When talking about Adventures on the 2600

EGM: Do you identify with this dot?
Garret: No. The dot is small. I am not.
Bobby: Yeah. My best friend, he looks just like this dot: small, handsome, and adventurous.

[...]

EGM: What will you say when your kids say Wind Waker looks boring?
Parker: Get out of my house. You're out of my will.
Click to expand...

Oh Parker, go you!!

Gunstar heroes:
Anthony: You're already at a boss? It looks like a giant asparagus.
Parker: This is why you don't do drugs. You make screwed up videogames.
Click to expand...

Street fighter 2
EGM: What do you think of that guy's hairstyle? [Points to Guile]

Parker: I think it's extremely 90s.
Click to expand...

The article is actually 4 pages long but my point is -- can we actually seriously think for a moment that there's anything real in this? 9-10-11 years old kids dont make witty comments like that. And some of the references they make are way too old for them. EGM is so edgy
 
Naked Shuriken said:
9-10-11 years old kids dont make witty comments like that. And some of the references they make are way too old for them. EGM is so edgy
Click to expand...

1) We have it all on tape. Watch CNN.
2) Kids are more clever than you think.
3) You are less clever than you think.

:D
 
MarkMacD said:
2) Kids are more clever than you think.
3) You are less clever than you think.
Click to expand...

I went through the same thing with the Penny Arcade Remix project, and those were fucking high school kids. "No way high school kids are that funny! No way Japanese people are that funny! You just made the whole thing up!"

I think people feel threatened by the idea that someone younger than them might be funny.
 
Sriram said:
Just cause its on tape doesnt mean it isnt scripted. Its pretty obvious that it is though.
Click to expand...

:SIGH:

Where is that picture proving how the moon landing was faked when you need it?
 
apollo-flag-waving.gif

OMG. Waving flag. Wut iz DIS???
 
Naked Shuriken said:
The article is actually 4 pages long but my point is -- can we actually seriously think for a moment that there's anything real in this? 9-10-11 years old kids dont make witty comments like that. And some of the references they make are way too old for them.
Click to expand...

You'd be surprised as to what some kids say.
 
I was really fuckin' witty when I was 10. I recently read some of my smart-mouthed English papers from back in the 4th grade and laughed my ass off.

Somehow, adulthood has managed to suck the very wit from my bones and transform it into a kind of mealy-mouthed surliness. Thanks, existence!
 
Drinky Crow said:
I was really fuckin' witty when I was 10. I recently read some of my smart-mouthed English papers from back in the 4th grade and laughed my ass off.

Somehow, adulthood has managed to suck the very wit from my bones and transform it into a kind of mealy-mouthed surliness. Thanks, existence!
Click to expand...

:lol :lol
 
Garret: "Mike Tyson" is bad publicity for this game.
Parker: Nothing is bad publicity.
Garret: Maybe Mr. T is Nintendo's marketing director. Mike Tyson was all like, "I'm gonna eat your dogs; I'm gonna eat your kids...."
Rachel: I'm not really one who likes eating people.
Click to expand...
First off, 9-11 year olds wouldn't remember Tyson before he was weird. Secondly, a lot of 9-11 year old kids can't spell publicity, let alone have it in their vocabulary on the fly. The educational system has gone to hell, that's no mystery.

EGM: Do you identify with this dot?
Garret: No. The dot is small. I am not.
Bobby: Yeah. My best friend, he looks just like this dot: small, handsome, and adventurous.

EGM: What will you say when your kids say Wind Waker looks boring?
Parker: Get out of my house. You're out of my will.
Click to expand...
These are a little more feasible.

Anthony: You're already at a boss? It looks like a giant asparagus.
Parker: This is why you don't do drugs. You make screwed up videogames.
Click to expand...
Proof positive that the world is a fucked up place; I know I wasn't making drug jokes when I was 9... And the kids are idiots for even making fun of Gunstar Heroes in the first place. No-taste little shits.

EGM: What do you think of that guy's hairstyle? [Points to Guile]

Parker: I think it's extremely 90s.
Click to expand...
Hey, dipshit... You weren't even an itch in your father's shorts until at least halfway through the 90's. What do you know about the 90's and its trends?

Kids these days are little assholes that think they are the cock of the walk. All those kids need to be bitchslapped.
Click to expand...
A-fucking-men! I worked at KB Toys for two years, and I was privvy to some of the most snide little fucks to walk the face of God's green earth. I believe this news.
 
TheDiave said:
First off, 9-11 year olds wouldn't remember Tyson before he was weird. Secondly, a lot of 9-11 year old kids can't spell publicity, let alone have it in their vocabulary on the fly. The educational system has gone to hell, that's no mystery.

Hey, dipshit... You weren't even an itch in your father's shorts until at least halfway through the 90's. What do you know about the 90's and its trends?
Click to expand...

#1 They were SPEAKING. Use your head!

#2 Not being born in the 60s and 70s doesn't stop people from making fun of that generation.
 
GDJustin said:
#1 They were SPEAKING. Use your head!

#2 Not being born in the 60s and 70s doesn't stop people from making fun of that generation.
Click to expand...
#1: I know they were speaking, hence the part which read: "let alone have it in their vocabulary on the fly."

#2: Comments of ignorance don't equate to wit, IMO.
 
I honestly think some of you who don't think this is real must have been retarded when you were 10 years old. When I was 10 I'd just read the hobbit for the first time and decided to write my own fantasy epic about a magic staff. Yes it only got about 5 pages long before I gave up, but the point is its insulting to them to believe that they wouldn't be familiar with the word "publicity" or that they wouldn't speak that way. You all need some lessons in child development.
 
Are you people fucking retarded? Why would EGM make it up? What would they possibly have to gain by falsifying the comments of 6th graders?

Honestly.
 
Insertia said:
This again?

You people know no 9-11 year olds, do you?

They aren't baffling drooling retards, ya know?
Click to expand...


nah their just smartass drooling retards at that age thank god I got to beat the crap outta my brother during that period


now hes witty yet respectful! ....(most of the time)
 
Completly and utterly fake. Kids don't talk like that at all, they're smarter than we give them credit for, but they don't talk like that, not with that vocabulary. Also, how can kids give witty remarks with pop culture references to stuff that happened before their time? BS.
 
Always amazes me how you supposed grown ups can't believe kids are not retards...you ever listen to kids?

During the development of TY GBA I remember having more involved conversations with the kids at our focus testing sessions than some of the development team :) I remember one programmer who shall remain nameless always speaking like a two year old baby with down's syndrome when talking about how kids will play the game...and I'm like, what the fuck?
 
Yay... more stuff that's completely uninformative and proves just how irrelevant print magazines are in this industry these days.

Nah... we won't talk about upcoming games or devote that space to reviews... screw that. More crap! I suppose that it's better than even more ads... but not by much.
 
DJPS2 said:
Yay... more stuff that's completely uninformative and proves just how irrelevant print magazines are in this industry these days.

Nah... we won't talk about upcoming games or devote that space to reviews... screw that. More crap! I suppose that it's better than even more ads... but not by much.
Click to expand...
Sounds like you want, uh, links to IGN reviews off GAF. The idea of a magazine, especially in the internet age, is to be fun to read.
 
MarkMacD said:
1) We have it all on tape. Watch CNN.
2) Kids are more clever than you think.
3) You are less clever than you think.

:D
Click to expand...

It is quite convenient that you want us watching CNN for photographic proof. No one watches CNN.

Watch CNN, it proves that Jessica Alba is my lady.
 
fennec fox said:
Sounds like you want, uh, links to IGN reviews off GAF. The idea of a magazine, especially in the internet age, is to be fun to read.
Click to expand...

"Fun" differs from person to person. EGM has filled their magazine with more fluff than substance for a long time now, interviewing movie stars and musicians who I really don't give a damn about.

I tend to like more informative pieces... technical pieces, actual game previews, maybe even a little bit of history here and there-- minus the nine year-old kids and their "insight". Those are "fun" for me to read.

Fluff, like EGM's interviews and OPM's DVD and music reviews, just doesn't appeal to me.

I suppose that I have to accept the fact that print media doesn't have the capital to appeal to people like me. In order to make money, they have to dumb down the industry to make it more accessible for the average person. That doesn't mean that I like it.

NEXT Generation was my favorite magazine for a long time, before they had their plug pulled. It had the kind of content that I wanted in a magazine, missing only more detailed reviews, which I enjoy reading.
 
DJPS2 said:
NEXT Generation was my favorite magazine for a long time, before they had their plug pulled. It had the kind of content that I wanted in a magazine, missing only more detailed reviews, which I enjoy reading.
Click to expand...

you ever think about why their plug was pulled?
 
BeOnEdge said:
because the masses are idiots and would rather read gamepro?
Click to expand...

Essentially, yes. Here in today's short-attention span society, the masses aren't interested in actual informative reading material. They want quick-hitting, single-page features that validate gaming as the cool hobby that it's supposedly become.

I'm not saying that my interests are the "right" ones, but it's my opinion that print magazines have deviated enough from my expectations that they're not relevant anymore. This isn't the fault of the writers, for the most part... it's just the "dumbing down of America" that drives it.

If I had the money to fund a magazine, I would... but I'm not Dave Halverson.
 
Ulairi said:
It is quite convenient that you want us watching CNN for photographic proof. No one watches CNN.

Watch CNN, it proves that Jessica Alba is my lady.
Click to expand...

:lol :lol :lol

What the fuck is up with the half-rambling half-insane Junior Member comments lately? They're on a roll!
 
Duck of Death said:
:lol :lol :lol

What the fuck is up with the half-rambling half-insane Junior Member comments lately? They're on a roll!
Click to expand...

Let's not forget some of the retarded members here, one of whom started this thread.
 
Ninja Scooter said:
i believe it. Kids these days are little assholes that think they are the cock of the walk. All those kids need to be bitchslapped.
Click to expand...


Yeah, it's only kids these days. Kids in our day were perfectly behaved humble little do gooders.
 
I think that all this proves is that 10-14 year old kids are in FACT hipper and funnier than the average GAF bottomfeeder, by their own admission.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Hall of Fame for the DUMBEST comments made by game devs and publishers:
2 3
104
720
Nok Su Kow replied
Planet of Lana II - Children of the Leaf releases 2026
News 
3
153
Bartski replied
The recent state of play made me realize something concerning about Sony
2 3 4 5
218
12K
Darkkahn replied
ND should've made a Tommy DLC instead of wasting time with Factions II
Opinion  2
56
2K
yurinka replied
Pipistrello and the Cursed Yo-Yo is the best indie game of 2025 (so far) and no one is playing it
46
327
touchfuzzy replied
Top Bottom