MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
I cannot believe how bad this episode was.
Let's send Jon, the King of the North and a very important person, along with a rag-tag group of old men and one non-soldier, north of the Wall on foot, without any supplies or horses, to not only confront the massive Undead Army, but capture one of its Wights as living proof of their existence in order to MAYBE, POSSIBLY convince Cersei to chill out and stop being Cersei. All the while ignoring the harsh conditions of the north, the great distances to travel, the urgency of the political situation, the fact that you're carrying back a fucking zombie, etc.
BRILLIANT.
So naturally Jon and company get overwhelmed by the Undead horde. They should all be dead instantly, right? Wrong. Fate has it that a ring of broken ice forms an island barrier to the Undead, who for some incredible reason cannot simply take a running start and leap the gap. Or sacrifice several of their infantry for the greater good of the army to form a pedestrian bridge to end Jon. No, they all stand frozen in place, including the King of Wights who in a few scenes later is shown bringing down a dragon in mid-flight with a spear in a dazzling display of accuracy that maybe he should have used for the humans sitting in place, motionless this entire time.
And the army has taken six or seven seasons to march up to the Wall. My boy Gendry (larvae Christian Bale) covers that distance in 25 fucking minutes. Then the raven delivers the message in time to Dany who teleport's to Jon's coordinates and saves them in the nick of time.
But no, Jon does another moronic thing and staves off several more Undead when THE POINT OF DRAGONS IS TO BREATHE FIRE ON YOUR ENEMIES SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT LIKE THAT. Which should have been the plan in the first place. Actually, no, the plan all along should be to fly over to the Red Keep and just burn Cersei and her holdings. Who gives a shit about her at this point? But fine, if you insist on this plot, then why not fly even one of Dany's dragons over a horde of Undead, grab one from the sky, and deliver it to Cersei that way. Boom. Easy. But no, the current plan conveniently offers the Night King a Blue Eyes Wight Dragon and reintroduces Benjen for every single viewer who had forgotten about him in an epic moment of Deus Ex Machina, where for some reason he decides rather than riding back with Jon Snow, because, you know, that's what horses do, he'll send Jon back alone while he dies in record time against the enemy. All while banking on the horse delivering an unconscious man with certainty to the appropriate location.
Don't get me started on Arya and Sansa. What a tragedy that was, for all the wrong reasons. Let's have Arya go against all her character development to... Do what, exactly? Trick the audience with the reveal that they were arguing all this time when they were really onto Littlefinger? But they were arguing in private... So how does it help them bring Littlefinger down? And that "evidence" against Littlefinger was about as thick as a Listerine strip, and they could have killed the character a long time ago if that's all it took.
I actually loved the first few episodes of season seven, but my god the end of it felt like a comic book film with all the contrived action scenes and hokey character meetups and forced love angles. Damn, man.
Let's send Jon, the King of the North and a very important person, along with a rag-tag group of old men and one non-soldier, north of the Wall on foot, without any supplies or horses, to not only confront the massive Undead Army, but capture one of its Wights as living proof of their existence in order to MAYBE, POSSIBLY convince Cersei to chill out and stop being Cersei. All the while ignoring the harsh conditions of the north, the great distances to travel, the urgency of the political situation, the fact that you're carrying back a fucking zombie, etc.
BRILLIANT.
So naturally Jon and company get overwhelmed by the Undead horde. They should all be dead instantly, right? Wrong. Fate has it that a ring of broken ice forms an island barrier to the Undead, who for some incredible reason cannot simply take a running start and leap the gap. Or sacrifice several of their infantry for the greater good of the army to form a pedestrian bridge to end Jon. No, they all stand frozen in place, including the King of Wights who in a few scenes later is shown bringing down a dragon in mid-flight with a spear in a dazzling display of accuracy that maybe he should have used for the humans sitting in place, motionless this entire time.
And the army has taken six or seven seasons to march up to the Wall. My boy Gendry (larvae Christian Bale) covers that distance in 25 fucking minutes. Then the raven delivers the message in time to Dany who teleport's to Jon's coordinates and saves them in the nick of time.
But no, Jon does another moronic thing and staves off several more Undead when THE POINT OF DRAGONS IS TO BREATHE FIRE ON YOUR ENEMIES SO THAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO SHIT LIKE THAT. Which should have been the plan in the first place. Actually, no, the plan all along should be to fly over to the Red Keep and just burn Cersei and her holdings. Who gives a shit about her at this point? But fine, if you insist on this plot, then why not fly even one of Dany's dragons over a horde of Undead, grab one from the sky, and deliver it to Cersei that way. Boom. Easy. But no, the current plan conveniently offers the Night King a Blue Eyes Wight Dragon and reintroduces Benjen for every single viewer who had forgotten about him in an epic moment of Deus Ex Machina, where for some reason he decides rather than riding back with Jon Snow, because, you know, that's what horses do, he'll send Jon back alone while he dies in record time against the enemy. All while banking on the horse delivering an unconscious man with certainty to the appropriate location.
Don't get me started on Arya and Sansa. What a tragedy that was, for all the wrong reasons. Let's have Arya go against all her character development to... Do what, exactly? Trick the audience with the reveal that they were arguing all this time when they were really onto Littlefinger? But they were arguing in private... So how does it help them bring Littlefinger down? And that "evidence" against Littlefinger was about as thick as a Listerine strip, and they could have killed the character a long time ago if that's all it took.
I actually loved the first few episodes of season seven, but my god the end of it felt like a comic book film with all the contrived action scenes and hokey character meetups and forced love angles. Damn, man.
