parrotbeak
Member
"Think long term. Life is a marathon, not a sprint."
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Fitness |OT3| BroScience, Protein Dysentery, XXL Calf Implants, and Squat Rack Hogs
- Thread starter Anton Sugar
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Brolic Gaoler
formerly Alienshogun
Unless you're drinking urine, then it's a fucking sprint.
Also, god bless the spring time, college, and mother fucking yoga pants. Also, their better cousin, the yoga shorts (or whatever they are called). Praise Jesus!
Yeah, it was the "Insurance companies should be required to cover sex change surgery" thread. Oh well.
It's not too bad but shoulder press is prety uncomfortable so I've laid off it for a few weeks. It's killing me.
I was doing dips yesterday. I am rotating my assistance work every cycle of 531 and this time, dips were up after bench press. I was thinking - I heard dips, particularly if you lean forward, are supposed to hit your chest, but I don't feel anything. I was only able to do 3 sets of 10 - the last 2 sets I did about 5-6 reps and then did negatives for the rest of the reps.
Holy crap my chest is sore today. There's no way it was from the bench press so I guess it was the dips.
Holy crap my chest is sore today. There's no way it was from the bench press so I guess it was the dips.
cuevas. PhD.
Member
If you want to lose fat, eat better.
parrotbeak
Member
Not if you sip it.
This was the first day of the year that I really needed to turn on my car a/c, but I like your perspective.
Off to Vegas in the morning!
BlueScrote
Member
A better term would probably be reset. "Reset after every rep". Granted, both deload and reset have other connotation in the scheme of routines so it's not great either.
StickSoldier
Member
So I'm looking at a few calculators to determine how many calories I'm supposed to eat, and most of them are telling me around 3k per day to gain weight. I definitely don't have a hard time gaining weight, so should I start a little lower and see if I'm gaining weight or just go for the 3k a week?
Para bailar La Bomba
Banned
Yeah, what Petrie said. It's gonna take you a good 2-3 months of gruntwork for your body to readjust being out of the gym for so long. You may as well start now.
parrotbeak
Member
As someone here had mentioned would happen, my lower back started to feel pinched doing chest protected rows as the weight increased, so I've just been doing db rows instead.
The benches by the dumbbells were all taken and no one was in the benching area, so I laid my towel down on the bench in the corner and put a dumbbell on the floor. Went to drink water, came back 30 seconds later, and this stink ass homeless looking kid was laying on my towel benching the bar. Four other benches were empty and he had to take mine. I was already irritated cuz I failed to complete my press sets. I stood next to him waiting for him to notice me but he was oblivious. Even after he finished, he just stood next to the bench staring into space with my db right under him.
So finally I said, "excuse me, lemme just grab the dumbbell over here."
He said, "uh what?"
I said, "well that was my towel and db, I was all set up over here but it's ok, you can use this bench, I'll just take the db somewhere else."
He said, "oh wow you're lifting that heavy thing?" He started telling me about how his shoulder is messed up and he can't lift that much.
I said "ok, cool, I'll go somewhere else."
I took the db over to an empty bench across the room and he followed me. He said, "hey wussup my name is John," and he shook my hand. Dude's hands were filthy, like caked brown with cuts on his fingers. He seriously looked and smelled homeless. I went to the locker room to wash my hands.
Came back, did a set of rows. While resting between sets I noticed he was on the cable machine crouched down in a weird twisted lunge position and pulling the cable over himself from behind his head. Two guys were standing right next to him looking at him like WTF. It looked like he had probably taken the cable machine from them, cuz as soon as he stood up, they grabbed the cable from him. That's pretty unusual; most people are pretty polite and will check to make sure you're done before they take over. It looked like they were kinda laughing about it but more like a wtf laugh.
I kneeled on the bench to start my next set. He came up to me again and said, "hey man, can you spot me?" I looked around to see if he was set up on another bench, but it didn't look like it.
I said, "ok sure, what are you doing?"
He grabbed a 45 and loaded it on my bench and said, "I figure I'll start with 2 of these."
Earlier it seemed like he was struggling just to bench the bar, so I said, "umm, what were you benching before?"
He said, "just the bar."
So I said, "why don't you start a little lighter," and I loaded 10s for him instead. I had to hold my breath the whole time cuz he smelled so bad.
After he was done he asked if I wanted him to spot me. "Um, I'm doing db rows..."
The benches by the dumbbells were all taken and no one was in the benching area, so I laid my towel down on the bench in the corner and put a dumbbell on the floor. Went to drink water, came back 30 seconds later, and this stink ass homeless looking kid was laying on my towel benching the bar. Four other benches were empty and he had to take mine. I was already irritated cuz I failed to complete my press sets. I stood next to him waiting for him to notice me but he was oblivious. Even after he finished, he just stood next to the bench staring into space with my db right under him.
So finally I said, "excuse me, lemme just grab the dumbbell over here."
He said, "uh what?"
I said, "well that was my towel and db, I was all set up over here but it's ok, you can use this bench, I'll just take the db somewhere else."
He said, "oh wow you're lifting that heavy thing?" He started telling me about how his shoulder is messed up and he can't lift that much.
I said "ok, cool, I'll go somewhere else."
I took the db over to an empty bench across the room and he followed me. He said, "hey wussup my name is John," and he shook my hand. Dude's hands were filthy, like caked brown with cuts on his fingers. He seriously looked and smelled homeless. I went to the locker room to wash my hands.
Came back, did a set of rows. While resting between sets I noticed he was on the cable machine crouched down in a weird twisted lunge position and pulling the cable over himself from behind his head. Two guys were standing right next to him looking at him like WTF. It looked like he had probably taken the cable machine from them, cuz as soon as he stood up, they grabbed the cable from him. That's pretty unusual; most people are pretty polite and will check to make sure you're done before they take over. It looked like they were kinda laughing about it but more like a wtf laugh.
I kneeled on the bench to start my next set. He came up to me again and said, "hey man, can you spot me?" I looked around to see if he was set up on another bench, but it didn't look like it.
I said, "ok sure, what are you doing?"
He grabbed a 45 and loaded it on my bench and said, "I figure I'll start with 2 of these."
Earlier it seemed like he was struggling just to bench the bar, so I said, "umm, what were you benching before?"
He said, "just the bar."
So I said, "why don't you start a little lighter," and I loaded 10s for him instead. I had to hold my breath the whole time cuz he smelled so bad.
After he was done he asked if I wanted him to spot me. "Um, I'm doing db rows..."
Anton Sugar
Member
Ahahahah...that's not too bad. Just a dumb kid. We were all there once!
Except for the smell and shit.
Except for the smell and shit.
parrotbeak
Member
Ya, that's why I told him I was set up with the towel, so he might learn that you don't lay down on someone else's towel. But I don't think he got it. My guess is he was probably high and probably staying at the Y. Oh well, it's a funny story to tell.
MrToughPants
Brian Burke punched my mom
Parrot he just wanted to be your friend and share a PWO piss shake with you.
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
I thought you fitness bros would appreciate this video showcasing what I believe to be the pinnacle of human strength, balance, and coordination:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac9-ePvQSKM&feature=player_embedded#
We should all aspire to this.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac9-ePvQSKM&feature=player_embedded#
We should all aspire to this.
starting at 2:12, that dude on the bottom grabbed his bags, sorted out his carry-ons, got rid of his containers of liquid and nose hair clippers, and boarded a plane with a one way ticket to snap fucking city
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac9-ePvQSKM&t=2m12s
my shoulders are crying
hawkshockey11
Banned
We should all give up because of this D:
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
At 5:50 my hamstrings are saying, "Fuck you."
parrotbeak
Member
He smelled like he probably could have made a few gallons of piss shake by soaking his clothes in water.
That's bad ass but I can't imagine his shoulders and back are going to hold up doing that for too many years.kylej said:
I was lucky enough to see this live. It was seriously un-freaking-believable. The strength is just astonishing, but the coordination and balance is just as amazing.
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
Well, they've been working for over 30 years, so I'd say his body has held up fine.
Brolic Gaoler
formerly Alienshogun
Yep, that's how I do mine. Shoulders back chest out, neck neutral. Works awesome.
1. Fuck, that, noise.
2. Awwwwwwwwwww, yeahhhhhhhhhhh!
I had to stop when the dude got T-bagged. Impressive none the less.
parrotbeak
Member
Wow, how old are they?
MrOogieBoogie
BioShock Infinite is like playing some homeless guy's vivid imagination
Not doing too well on my squats the last couple workouts. Having a couple problems- my wrists (especially my left one) just feels too goddamn uncomfortable and I can't find a comfortable position for it. My thumb in particular is in pain afterwards. It kind of affected my bent-over rows a bit. And no I'm not wrapping my thumbs around the bar, they're same side as the rest of my hand.
Also, my legs- doesn't feel so much like a strength issue as it does like I'm not stretching them properly or something. Not quite sure how to explain it- when I'm bent down to the point where I'm about parallel my legs feel stiff or something, and it hurts just a bit too much. I try re-positioning my stance and my feet but it doesn't seem to help. Weird thing is I wasn't having this issue at all at the same weight previous workouts. Should I be stretching differently/more or something?
Also, my legs- doesn't feel so much like a strength issue as it does like I'm not stretching them properly or something. Not quite sure how to explain it- when I'm bent down to the point where I'm about parallel my legs feel stiff or something, and it hurts just a bit too much. I try re-positioning my stance and my feet but it doesn't seem to help. Weird thing is I wasn't having this issue at all at the same weight previous workouts. Should I be stretching differently/more or something?
Well, in that case there's gonna be some difficulties. If he can push forward he can slowly do work on his bench. Box squats might work for squats. Also, rack pulls and possibly deadlifts should work too.
For shoulders, he may be SOL. Some lateral/shrug/raises stuff might work but I don't know enough about any of his injury to give any more advice than that. Might be a good idea to speak with a physical therapist and see if there's a way to restore that range of motion.
At the minimum, a healthy diet and some walking/light jogging will do wonders to improve his quality of life, gym or no.
sebajuNujabes
Member
Where's the bar in relation to your back? On your traps? or on your shoulder blades?
Best thing you can do is take a video of it(at a lower weight for safety) then post it here so Gaf can figure out whats going on.
http://startingstrength.com/index.php/site/platform_the_squat_bar_position
www.mobilitywod.com
- Most supplements are bullshit
- most magazines are bullshit
- debunk nurtrition myths (stravation mode, carb=death, eat ever 4 hours, etc)
- structuring weight gain and fat loss diets (HOW DO MY CUTS GOING FOR THE BEACH?)
- Rehab-prehab stuff (like mwod)
- programming conditioning
Personal note: I'm down 3 lbs in 3 days, even with some birthday celebrations, making this the lowest weight I've at in over 3 years. No, it's not water weight (I think) because I haven't been drinking
Anton Sugar
Member
Think this got lost on the last page, though I got a few suggestions and have added them:
Alrightty guys, I wanna start brainstorming for an infographic to put together in the OP. I think it would make "read the OP" a lot easier to "read", though I would want a secondary post or two that also just lists the info. What are some key points we want to hit? A few to start:
Alrightty guys, I wanna start brainstorming for an infographic to put together in the OP. I think it would make "read the OP" a lot easier to "read", though I would want a secondary post or two that also just lists the info. What are some key points we want to hit? A few to start:
- Cannot spot-reduce fat
- Cannot get super bulky without trying
- Gains and experience have somewhat of an inverse relationship (less experienced=faster gains)
- Compound lifts>isolation lifts, if you just had to choose one
- Push, Pull, Squat
- Less can equal more. Working out 3-4 a week is more beneficial than 5-6 a week, for the majority
- Motivation: give some timeline/success stories? Understanding that gains come slow but add up if you're consistent
cuevas. PhD.
Member
Anton - lifting weights is better than cardio for weight loss.
You want abs? Why can't you sqaut your own Body weight to parallel?
You want abs? Why can't you sqaut your own Body weight to parallel?
I'd suggest these primary infographics for the major facets of fitness:
Nutrition
Strength
Conditioning
Mobility & Flexibility
In that order.
I'm going to repeat and incorporate current suggestions into my own. The redundancy will add to an eventual consensus so I feel it's necessary.
Nutrition
Training
Conditioning
Mobility & Flexibility
Brevity was never my strong point, but this should touch on a majority of the issues/questions that arise (or perhaps should arise) for a beginner first reading this thread.
Nutrition
Strength
Conditioning
Mobility & Flexibility
In that order.
I'm going to repeat and incorporate current suggestions into my own. The redundancy will add to an eventual consensus so I feel it's necessary.
Nutrition
- You cannot spot-reduce fat.
- If you eat less calories than your body needs you will lose weight.
- Given that, the best fat loss program is the one you adhere to.
- You don't need supplements.
- Whole foods first.
- Meal frequency and nutrient timing is less important.
- Pre-and post-workout nutrition is more important.
- Your metabolism is not special, you eat too little/too much (pick one).
- Fasting won't send you into "starvation mode" for 72 hours. Deal with it.
- You can absorb more than 30 grams of protein in a single sitting.
- GOMAD and 2DEAD instructions for the skinny bastard.
Training
- You will not become a musclebound superhero on accident.
- Toning is a bad word. A very, very bad word.
- The farther you are from your potential the faster your gains can come.
- Consistency is the key to success in any program.
- Compound lifts yield the greatest training efficiencies.
- Keep it simple: push, pull, squat.
- Build your program around RECOVERY or why you don't need to be in the gym every day.
- Barbell programming - Starting Strength, Stronglifts, 5/3/1.
- Programming without a squat rack.
- Programming with body weight resistance.
Conditioning
- Differences between steady state cardio and HIT.
- How to get a better 40 meter time.
- How to run a better 3k/5k/whateverk.
- If nothing else get off your ass and walk a few miles every day.
- Hill sprint protocols.
- Tabata protocols.
- The myth of "sweat equity" or why you can't outrun your crappy diet.
Mobility & Flexibility
- Why you should never strive for flexibility without strength.
- Mobility should always have precedence over flexibility.
- Why stretching doesn't change the length of the muscle or why you really can't do the splits.
- Don't hyperextend or overstretch your spine, you only get one.
- Passive stretching for blood circulation and rehabilitation, not as a warm-up.
- Active stretching for developing flexibility with strength.
Brevity was never my strong point, but this should touch on a majority of the issues/questions that arise (or perhaps should arise) for a beginner first reading this thread.
I hope that's for reps. A bodyweight squat isn't all that hard unless you're really up there in bodyweight.
cuevas. PhD.
Member
That's the point, most people are asking for the best Ab work but can't do that (a complete squat anyways).
+Just because you've been lifting for years doesn't mean you're not a beginner.
Brolic Gaoler
formerly Alienshogun
this was making the rounds a while ago and it's pretty good
I've been showing people this all day. Thanks Kyle.
this was making the rounds a while ago and it's pretty good
Is that an anti-pregnancy ad?
Brolic Gaoler
formerly Alienshogun
It's an anti-fatass ad.
Edit: Holy fuck, pullups/chins are hard as fuck after you do kroc rows.
cuevas. PhD.
Member
Brolic Gaoler
formerly Alienshogun
Hard boiled eggs, jerky, peanutbutter, protein bars, protein shakes, chocolate milk, pickles, trail mix, etc.
The fat in nuts is typically not bad for you, nuts are a great snack, especially if you're active.
2nd day of deloading bench. god that was boring
squatted 275 - god that was hard, might be nearing a stall
deadlifted 315 - god that was hard, but felt good. dont think i'm near stalling
then did some dips 3x10, pity my gym doesn't have a belt with a chain on it. bodyweight dips are easy as fuck. also did some lying triceps extensions 3x8, standing triceps extensions 1x10, and upright rows 1x10. good workout today for sure. getting fucked uptomorrow after HIIT. i'm excited lol
i really wanna be able to hit 315 on squats before i stall. hopefully i can get that in 4 more workouts....
squatted 275 - god that was hard, might be nearing a stall
deadlifted 315 - god that was hard, but felt good. dont think i'm near stalling
then did some dips 3x10, pity my gym doesn't have a belt with a chain on it. bodyweight dips are easy as fuck. also did some lying triceps extensions 3x8, standing triceps extensions 1x10, and upright rows 1x10. good workout today for sure. getting fucked uptomorrow after HIIT. i'm excited lol
i really wanna be able to hit 315 on squats before i stall. hopefully i can get that in 4 more workouts....
Natural peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on whole wheat, two at a time, I go through a jar of peanut butter in about 2 days.
Thanks for the replies guys!
I have yet to find any good protein bars that taste nice and aren't loaded with crap. As for protein shakes, my current whey tastes like crap and I can't stomach it. Choc milk I should give a shot. I usually worry about the sugar. I'm guessing trail mix is a US thing? Never heard of it here in the UK.
Yea I gave seeds a shot but didn't buy them last time I went shopping. Will pick them up when I get the chance.Sunflower seeds
I eat a bag of jerky (82g roughly) in one sitting. That sucks considering how it's fairly expensive here in the UK. I guess I should look online. Love the stuff.
I have yet to find any good protein bars that taste nice and aren't loaded with crap. As for protein shakes, my current whey tastes like crap and I can't stomach it. Choc milk I should give a shot. I usually worry about the sugar. I'm guessing trail mix is a US thing? Never heard of it here in the UK.
Haha yea I gotta buy me some pb. It's sometimes hard to find proper natural stuff though.
If you have trouble finding some, just get the Skippy Natural PB, it has some sugar in it but only 3g.
Sadly I'm in the UK.
This actually seems pretty sweet so I'll probably pick it up next time I go in. 4.9g of sugar but I can live with that.
I'm doing low-bar squats. I don't think the position has changed at all, so I don't know how that would explain my legs feeling stiff when getting low in the squat.
Thats a lot of sugar in that there jelly. A LOT.
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