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[Strike East]

So, a bunch of my buddies and I were having an herbal induced discussion about animals duking it out to the death in a cage match. We pretty much agreed on all of the outcomes, except for one. Biggest Polar Bear on earth vs the biggest Gorilla on earth. the room was split 3 for the gorilla 3 for the Polar Bear. I sided with the Polar Bear shreddin the ape, whats your thoughts......

 

[Iceman]

No pot required. Polar Bear.

Largest Polar Bear = 10 ft, 1,700 pounds. Eats seals, men.

Largest Gorilla = 6 ft, 500 pounds. Eats plants.

 

[mattx5]

No pot required. Polar Bear.

You're just biased!

 

[DarienA]

Hmm let's see

Polar Bears slide down hills in the snow and drink Coke.
Gorilla's put on metal gloves and learn to talk in sign language.....

Gorilla wins.

 

[NLB2]

A polar bear would destroy a gorrilla. Its no contest.

Adult males weigh from 400 to 600kg and occasionally exceed 800kg

Males range in height from 1.65 m to 1.75 m, and in weight from 140 kg to 165 kg.

So the largest polar bear would be one huge ass mother fucker compared to the largest gorilla. Plus, when you add in teeth and claws, the gorilla stands no chance.

No pot required. Polar Bear.

Largest Polar Bear = 10 ft, 1,700 pounds. Eats seals, men.

Largest Gorilla = 6 ft, 500 pounds. Eats plants.

Damn, you beat me with your edit.

 

[RevenantKioku]

Ride the Walrus!

 

[Teflar]

Polar Bears slide down hills in the snow and drink Coke.
Gorilla's put on metal gloves and learn to talk in sign language.....

That's not fair, you used a cyborg gorilla for your example.

Polar bears use penguins for violent sport equipment. Gorillas sing N*sync songs and dance with elephants.

Polar bear for the win!

 

[DaCocoBrova]

Agility and blind rage has to account for something.

We talkin' silverbacks here?

 

[JoshuaJSlone]

Considering what sorts of habitat they're suited for, I think the home field advantage would make a big difference.

 

[Strike East]

My buddy kep hinging on the fact that the gorilla could just stick and move around the bear and thats how it would score the kill, I told him one slash from the bear and the gorilla is KO'd

 

[NLB2]

Considering what sorts of habitat they're suited for, I think the home field advantage would make a big difference.

Yes, I agree. The only chance a gorilla has is if it can climb into a tree and pelt the bear with rocks.

P.S. This is a very good topic to be coming from a junior member.

 

[Iceman]

Hmm let's see

Polar Bears slide down hills in the snow and drink Coke.
Gorilla's put on metal gloves and learn to talk in sign language.....

Gorilla wins.

I'ts so bad.


The real question is if you match them in terms of size (e.g. both the polar bear and gorilla at 8 feet and 1000 pounds OR both at 50 feet and 30,000 pounds, whatever) then who wins?

I say the gorilla.. lower center of gravity, he's got the longer reach and his hands are stronger. He's probably a little more agile too. But he doesn't have the enormous claws... so it won't be easy.

 

[Azih]

I'm pretty sure the cage match would be held in neutral territory. Not too warm, not too cold, but bare, so the gorilla wouldn't have a tree to climb up and hide in.

Polar Bear wouldn't even break a sweat.

 

[DarienA]

Are we not counting intelligence here or what? Azih a cage match would give the gorilla an advantage.

 

[Strike East]

well ther is no home feild advantage for anyone here. The contest takes place indoors in an arena or whathaveyou inside a cage. other than that, the anmals just go at it to the death. If they both die its a draw. And were talkin the most aggressive types of each species you can find, and the biggest in size

 

[Shazapp]

Then how come no horror movies have been made about rampaging polar bears?

Gorillas have intellect over polar bears. Size doesn't necessarily overpower brains.

 

[Do The Mario]

The zoologist goes for the polar bear!

 

[DarienA]

Are there any diamonds involved? I know someone who could helps us track them down....

 

[border]

Isn't there a TV show that is devoted to this sort of animal vs animal discussion?

 

[Strike East]

Yeah but in a bare cage with nothin to use for cover, intellect will give way to Raw power

 

[ManDudeChild]

Gorilla has the edge in agility, but I don't see it getting out of the way of all of the Polar Bear's attacks. However, if the Gorilla was seriously pissed off (eg: the polar bear invaded it's territory) it might stand a chance. The only problem there is that Gorillas don't go straight into attack mode under those circumstances, they wave their arms around and such ... the Polar Bear would just straight up attack.

I think a really cool match up would be a baby human vs baby chip ... and yes I know I'm going to hell for suggesting such a fight to the death.

 

[Son of Godzilla]

But what happens if the gorilla flips the polar bear over on it's back so it can't get up?

 

[Do The Mario]

To make it interesting they should fight in the dessert!

They would both die!

 

[Iceman]

Then how come no horror movies have been made about rampaging polar bears?

Gorillas have intellect over polar bears. Size doesn't necessarily overpower brains.

No, but 1700 pounds behind razor sharp claws do. They pretty much julienne brains. And polar bears are quite clever, especially in how they try to trap seals. Plus, some polar bears actually tend to consider primates as prey so their engagements tend to result in the death of the prey, if the polar bear doesn't die first. Gorilla's would rather forage or farm or whatever. In a cage, the polar bear is licking his chops while the gorilla is wetting himself.

 

[Strike East]

Gorilla has the edge in agility, but I don't see it getting out of the way of all of the Polar Bear's attacks. However, if the Gorilla was seriously pissed off (eg: the polar bear invaded it's territory) it might stand a chance. The only problem there is that Gorillas don't go straight into attack mode under those circumstances, they wave their arms around and such ... the Polar Bear would just straight up attack.



I think a really cool match up would be a baby human vs baby chip ... and yes I know I'm going to hell for suggesting such a fight to the death.

oh no we tossed around similar ideas as well last night, but thats another thread for another day

 

[Do The Mario]

But what happens if the gorilla flips the polar bear over on it's back so it can't get up?

It can get up.

Plus no gorilla could “flip” a polar bear.

 

[Iceman]

But what happens if the gorilla flips the polar bear over on it's back so it can't get up?

that's a turtle.

 

[Dilbert]

I think the cage match setting artificially limits the gorilla's options. If you provided some heavy branches which could be used as clubs and which extended his reach beyond the range of the polar bear, things would be more interesting.





P.S. When you're sober, re-read this question and ask yourself why the HELL you enjoy killing brain cells so much.

 

[Dice]

Polar Bear would SO win. What would the Gorilla do, punch at it? If something 1/5 your size attacked you, what would you do? Ok, now what would you do if you had 3-inch claws and a massive bone-crushing jaw? How is the Gorilla even going to get through it's thick fur coat, let alone make any vital flesh wounds? You've been watching too much King Kong and Mighty Joe Young. Maybe if you give the Gorilla a sword....

 

[Do The Mario]

I think the cage match setting artificially limits the gorilla's options. If you provided some heavy branches which could be used as clubs and which extended his reach beyond the range of the polar bear, things would be more interesting.





P.S. When you're sober, re-read this question and ask yourself why the HELL you enjoy killing brain cells so much.

STFU junior member! We can kill brain cells if we want!

 

[darscot]

Polar Bear in a landslide. The gorilla would have no chance. The whole brain over brawn bit is laughable this is Einstien Vs. Tyson.

 

[Do The Mario]

Actually I am very anti pot and try hard to help some of my friends quit, I don’t want them working at super markets all there lives.

 

[Iceman]

Just had a vision of Einstein in a ring against Mike Tyson. And I mean 20 year old Mike Tyson.

WOW. His head came clean off.

:lol :lol :lol :lol

 

[ManDudeChild]

oh no we tossed around similar ideas as well last night, but thats another thread for another day

No, it isn't. See most agree the Gorilla would get raped (and not given any lube) by the Polar Bear. So another vs is just what this thread needs. So with that said.

Fighters: Human baby vs. Chip baby

Environment: Grass, clear skies, no trees

Objects: Rattle with spikes & stick with .... spikes.

 

[Son of Godzilla]

It can get up.

Plus no gorilla could “flip” a polar bear.

Polar bears are docile, the gorilla could just sneak up underneath him and push.

 

[Cerebral Palsy]

The polar bear no doubt.

 

[Do The Mario]

No, it isn't. See most agree the Gorilla would get raped (and not given any lube) by the Polar Bear. So another vs is just what this thread needs. So with that said.

Fighters: Human baby vs. Chip baby

Environment: Grass, clear skies, no trees

Objects: Rattle with spikes & stick with .... spikes.

Nobody would win they would just sit there, one would eventually die of starvation.

The chimp might get curious and accidentally cause the baby to choke.

 

[DarienA]

What if the gorilla was smart enough to bring some fish to the fight?

Ok yes I'm being silly now... this is a silly thread right... right?

More photos of scenes from Congo please!

 

[White Man]

What would the inclusion of a hippo in this battle add? I predict the hippo would stealthily bite a naive polar bear, but only after the polar bear has dispatched the gorilla. And I'm talking a ghetto hippo, too, abused and neglected growing up; the most vicious hipp you'll ever see. The hippo then goes on to hold the strap for 7 months, and the PPV buyrates start to plummet.

 

[Do The Mario]

Polar bears are docile, the gorilla could just sneak up underneath him and push.

1. The gorilla isn’t strong enough to lift the polar beer
2. If he did flip the polar beer what then? The polar beer would get u
And rip the ape to shreds.

 

[Teflar]

I want a polar beer!

 

[Strike East]

You guys dont know the half of it. It all started when we were cheifn and watchin JP 1. The scene where Dennis Nedry a.k.a Newman, get owned by the dilophasaurus(sp?). One of my buddies JOKINGLY says that he would just charge the dinosaur and break its neck. From that we moved onto "Dude if a T-rex came after me i would totally fuckin book it, I dont care what Sam Niel has to say about their visual accuety(sp?)." Shortly after that debate fizzled we moved onto Raptors vs any living thing on the planet, and finally we settled on current animals vs each other i.e Tiger vs Lion, Gator vs tiger, and so on and so forth..................just your basic bong talk



PS who will help me pitch this "Caged Beasts Battle It Out" idea to FOX for their prime time thursday slot...........anyone?.............uh-huh......just as i thought!

 

[ManDudeChild]

You guys dont know the half of it. It all started when we were cheifn and watchin JP 1. The scene where Dennis Nedry a.k.a Newman, get owned by the dilophasaurus(sp?). One of my buddies JOKINGLY says that he would just charge the dinosaur and break its neck. From that we moved onto "Dude if a T-rex came after me i would totally fuckin book it, I dont care what Sam Niel has to say about their visual accuety(sp?)." Shortly after that debate fizzled we moved onto Raptors vs any living thing on the planet, and finally we settled on current animals vs each other i.e Tiger vs Lion, Gator vs tiger, ao on and so forth..................just your basic bong talk

Raptor vs. Polar Bear ... now THAT would be a fight.

 

[Strike East]

Raptor with the slight speed advantage, no?

 

[Coin Return]

a raptor would destroy a polar bear, methinks.

 

[Do The Mario]

a raptor would destroy a bolar bear, methinks.

I don’t think so, depends on a lot more external factors then Ape vs. Polar Bear thread.

I am still going to back the polar bear (just) because of its size and superior strength, being such a large animal it might not be able to fight for long so in that case the raptor would win.

 

[Strike East]

I dont know lets remeber the have retractable "razor" sharp claws, wich could tear thru a polar bears hide with relative ease, and they can jump. A jump-slash combo attack would be very hard for a polar bear to deflect

 

[Minotauro]

I'm going with the gorilla. They're more agressive and angry.

On a similar note, has anyone else read the book Bear vs. Shark? In it, the author proposes a situation where a bear is to fight a shark in water that is deep enough for the shark to maneuver in but not too deep for the bear to have to swim. Personally, I give the edge to the bear simply because of the angle of the shark's head. It would need to be on top to do any sort of damage.

 

[Iceman]

polar bear versus a raptor..

another landslide for the polar bear.

the raptor was at best 3 feet tall, 6 feet long and weighed in at 200 pounds. Midnight snack perhaps. The raptor had 80 or so teeth and razor sharp talons but cutting a polar bear might just tick it off. And I'd hate to see an angry polar bear.

 

[Son of Godzilla]

I'm going with the gorilla. They're more agressive and angry.

On a similar note, has anyone else read the book Bear vs. Shark? In it, the author proposes a situation where a bear is to fight a shark in water that is deep enough for the shark to maneuver in but not too deep for the bear to have to swim. Personally, I give the edge to the bear simply because of the angle of the shark's head. It would need to be on top to do any sort of damage.

Yet another person who fails to realize the vertical aspect of these fights. The shark can simply swim underneath and flip the bear, trapping it on it's back.