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[ronito]

aw man and that poor guy with the cocaine dad got stuck at the bottom of the page. Poor guy can't catch a break.

anyhoo,

Hi Ronito,

First time confessioner, long time listener. I was bored on a solo road-trip once. Going 85 MPH on a really boring freeway, I decided to just unzip and start jacking it. Every time I passed a large truck or anything that could see inside my car, I'd semi cover up. It lasted a good 30 minutes. I came into a pile of tissues I had arranged around my lap. I am ashamed I did this as it could have hindered my driving ability, but in all honesty I felt fine during it (thankfully I didn't crash and die and kill anybody.)

I really need to get some road head... all my girlfriends (not that many) have been such prudes.

Thanks,
[oh shit - redacted]

You're the second gaffer to confess to this. I have to admit I don't see the appeal.

 

[I H8 Memes]

You pulled off her pussy?!

I saw this story on Reddit recently. Either it's fake or you shouldnt have posted it in both places. That makes it that much easier for internet detectives to find out who you are.


Edit: Whoops. I see somebody else saw it too.

Straight off of Reddit from 6 months ago:

http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/m1se9/what_is_your_most_awkward_sex_story/c2xho7c

 

[ronito]

I guess you could say my wife has a type, as ALL her past love
interests have turned out to be gay. I have no
doubt I'm straight, but it makes me wonder if I don't set off gaydar
somehow, but I don't know what about me it would be.

This shit keeps me up at night sometimes... Like maybe I'm just
reeeeeeeally deep in the closet and don't even know it yet...

This confession is FABULOUS!!

 

[ronito]

I've told this to my brothers because they're my bff's, but I'd figure it's time I made this confession more public to see what people think. It has to do with one's own moral compass. In this case, mines. Warning: long read ahead.

So here goes: When I was a senior in high school, my friends (or I should say my classmates) and I would all hang out at the college office all the time for obvious reasons (apply for college, talk to the college advisors , and apply for FAFSA among other important things) as well as for not so obvious reasons such as to cut class, shoot the breeze, and play PC games.

Any way, I hanged out there enough that I caught wind of a very suspicious plot among a few classmates that I knew. So apparently, two classmates (or "friends" if you prefer even though I did have a best friend that got to know outside of school) were planning on opening up one of the computers and stealing the parts while the advisors (one of which was also my A.P. History teacher) were busy chatting on the phone inside the office. I witnessed them gradually open the computers as the days went by.

Eventually, one day, for whatever reason may be, my moral compass went off (note: the guys weren't there; I was there by myself with the two college advisors inside the office); I felt really bad for what was happening underneath these teachers' nose so I had enough. I walked inside the office, faced the college advisers and told them that a couple of students were opening the computers to steal some parts. The advisers were super pissed off (I remember the female teacher/adviser cursing) that they were completely oblivious to this. I also told them who the students were, and told them not to tell them that I told them; their lips were sealed and so were mines.

Any way, fast forward about 2 weeks later, I saw my two classmates come in to school with their respective people that they listed in case of an emergency (read: uncles, and parents). Apparently, word traveled quickly about the hot water that they were in. Meanwhile, the person who ratted them out quietly watched them. Prom and graduation eventually came and went; celebrations and all that other jazz that comes with high school graduations. They never found out it was I who ratted them out. In fact, nobody ever found out it was me; I never even told my best friend who was well acquainted with them (read: very cool with them).

To this day, I have them added on Facebook (I have one of them added on Xbox Live; but like I said they're acquaintances more than friends) and they still don't know. I went to a mini high school reunion party circa two years ago or so at one of the classmates-who-I-ratted-out's house. The other kid was there, but I still kept my lips sealed and continue to do so to this day. Do I regret ratting them out? Absolutely not; there were stealing from the school while the advisers were completely oblivious. I think they got what they deserved, and to a certain degree. I was glad that they got in hot water; maybe out of jealously.

I think they got let off easy though; I never found out what kind of punishment they received to be honest. There's a little part of me that feels kind of guilty about it, but it's in the past and I'll never tell them that it was I that screwed them over back in high school. It feels good getting that off my chest.

TL;DR: Found out some friends were plotting to steal computer parts in high school, decided to rat them out to the advisers; they got in hot water; I left with my lips fully sealed.

Should you feel bad? Nah.

 

[ronito]

I'm a trans-female.
I've pretty much always felt it, but I'm good at lying to other people and even better at lying to myself.
Even now that I'm older, I may have realized it, given it a name and everything, but I'm still lying to myself about it.
I read through the entire Transgaf thread about 6 months ago as well, and I'm still lurking it now, but I haven't even considered posting in it. I think telling someone and having to be responsible for it would make it no longer possible to pretend that I just "want to be cute" or "think it'd be cool to have a fresh start" or any of the other retarded things I convince myself of. But I want to say it, so since nobody will know who this is, it's perfect.
Here we go:

I'm a fucking girl, and I always have been, COME AT ME BRO IN THE MIRROR

I don't profess to know anything about being trans. However, I would say it'd seems to me that it'd be dumb not to make use of Trans-gaf in your case, and I mean more than just lurking. They've all been there and know what you're going through. But that's just me.

 

[frequency]

I think they got let off easy though; I never found out what kind of punishment they received to be honest. There's a little part of me that feels kind of guilty about it, but it's in the past and I'll never tell them that it was I that screwed them over back in high school. It feels good getting that off my chest.

I would say you helped them (to not be thieves) rather than "screwed them over". If they got away with it, it could have led to other things. But being caught may have prevented them from completely going down the wrong path.

I think you should be proud, although I understand why you don't want to let them know if you fear the relationship could get bad.

 

[BHZ Mayor]

So Bish is the worst. He perma banned me because he thought he could thought police. The worst part is he didn't even read the thread and took everything I said out of context. So I decided it might be fun to create a Bish "Dartboard". I since threw it out because me and my friends used it so much. I used the signature Bish avatar, I'm pretty sure one of my friends thinks I'm racist now XD. However, really, Bish you are a <Bish ain't the only one that can thought police bitch!-Love, Ronito>

So basically, a Samuel L. Jackson dartboard. Okay.

 

[ronito]

there is this girl, she's my best friend's female best friend, right?

well, i don't know why (actually i do, just not why i let myself do this) but i've been behaving with hostility towards her, which is a 180 from what i would do a month ago

truth is, i fall for her every time i'm with her, and i hate this because it'd be the useless sort of love, because she's head over heels for some douche and i'm tired of that shit (dude looks to be a decent person, but he's stringing her along his insecurities and that is the only thing that i'd consider punching someone in the face for, because that's the stuff that destroys people in their early adulthood, forever staining their future relationships)

so i hope that i'll never ever see her face to face again because i just know that i won't be able to keep up the act and would probably tell her everything

she's the coolest person i know and probably the best thing that would ever happen to me, and it's likely that i'll never meet anyone like her again

I hate this. Considering the life i've had, i'm surprised that i can even handle this. With 70% of the family burdened with depression and the rest with sever anxiety issues, i'm just glad i haven't tied a noose around my neck yet.

Don't put the pussy on a pedestal dude.

 

[JeTmAn81]

Cocaine Dad story is pretty sad. I used to get uptight over my dad having one beer a week.

 

[samus i am]

I've never used drugs either. But your Dad is old enough to make his own decisions. I say let him be responsible for his own actions and leave him alone about it.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

I don't profess to know anything about being trans. However, I would say it'd seems to me that it'd be dumb not to make use of Trans-gaf in your case, and I mean more than just lurking. They've all been there and know what you're going through. But that's just me.

I agree with Ronito here. This is something you should really try to get sorted out. Like, seriously.

 

[noah111]

Great 'confessions'. That poor guy about the girl seems literally STRAIGHT out of that movie, The Adjustment Buerue. Except his life got successfully adjusted, lol.

 

[Mike M]

Great 'confessions'. That poor guy about the girl seems literally STRAIGHT out of that movie, The Adjustment Buerue. Except his life got successfully adjusted, lol.

Man, I made the mistake of wearing a fedora and wool overcoat to that movie (It's just what I wear), I'm pretty sure people thought I was cosplaying...

 

[Hop]

I agree with Ronito here. This is something you should really try to get sorted out. Like, seriously.

Seconded. And we do have IRC, you can get set up there anonymously, you can talk without having to come out to the rest of Gaf.

And the tenor of conversation is only mildly ridiculous, it's totally workable levels.

 

[ronito]

[I just realised you can totally work out who I am on GAF from my email addy. Don't out me Ronito! ]



When I was a little kid of about 10 years old it was the mid 90s and the internet as we know it today was fairly new. My mum used to work in an office for a telecoms company and on Saturdays I used to go in with her to play on the web and we were the only people in the office. It was cool and looking back on it, the connection was blazingly fast for the time, about a couple of megs a second easily.

It didn’t take me long to discover that you can find nudie pictures online, so I would download and print off the Pamela Anderson and Gillian Anderson stuff around at the time, as well as those legendary Geri Halliwell pics. So far, so normal.



One day I got it into my head that I wanted to find some child porn. I’d heard about it on the news, and I was curious. And, thought the 10/11 year old me, it wasn’t really wrong since the ‘children’ would be the same age as me. So it was OK, surely? I spent ages on Infoseek hunting this stuff down and found one site that promised the goods. There were a bunch of warnings that I clicked through, each one detailing the kind of nastiness I would find inside, so I kept clicking.



And then there it was, not the coveted underage porn, but a gotcha page displaying my IP address and promising to tell the police and FBI what I had been doing. I immediately closed the browser out and panicked. I was terrified, if this webmaster contacted my mum’s employers she would be fired, no doubt about it. She was a single parent and it was hard enough to make ends meet at the best of times (hence, working on a Saturday). Afterwards, I would lay awake at night in a cold sweat, just waiting for that other shoe to drop, for people to find me out. It was, without doubt, the stupidest thing I’ve ever done, and even now thinking about it makes my skin crawl. I have never told anyone this before.

I've never "outed" anyone on these, despite how easy some would make it (though I do admit it makes surfing gaf much more interesting) So no worries on this front.

 

[ronito]

I've been with my girlfriend for five years. I love her.

But man am I a piece of shit in a lot of ways. Every female friend I have I think about fucking. A LOT. Do the craziest, nasiest shit with them. Whenever I get a spare moment I jack off thinking about them. I've probably come thinking about her best friend more than I have having sex with her. Whenever we go out for meals with them I always stare at their tits and ass, saving up the images for jacking off at a later time. I'd never act on the impulses but the thought of fucking pretty much every girl I know that isn't her is just really sexy. I want to put my cock in pretty much everything. When we're lying together I close my eyes and imagine I'm holding one of them before I start fucking them hard.

I feel guilty quite a lot but I can't stop. I just feel this desire to look at other women and fuck them.

Here's a tip, get to know uglier women.

 

[ronito]

Nice butt? I'm not who you think I am. Were you thinking of DR2K?

See, the whole joke was that I insinuated the gaffer you swapped pics with sent them to everyone on gaf and we've been secretly enjoying your naked pics.

That's the joke.

 

[samus i am]

NM

 

[ronito]

K gents that's all the confessions I've received. If you sent something and I didn't post it it must not have gotten to the email address.

So send in more confessions! Confess to me! gafconfess@gmail.com

Otherwise I think we're done here.

 

[Clydefrog]

I have to fart so bad at work. My stomach is even growling. I went into the bathroom and it was full. I’m not going to walk in there and go BRRRRRTTTT and then walk out. Might go outside… but that means taking the elevators down 13 floors

 

[TheOMan]

:lol Yeah, it was for the collages during RPJ, such as this one;

Never saw this before, impressive work man.

 

[ronito]

You weren't supposed to post that in the confession thread

Welp, this seems as good a time as any to remind you guys that anything you send you give the consent to post.

 

[B.K.]

I have to fart so bad at work. My stomach is even growling. I went into the bathroom and it was full. I’m not going to walk in there and go BRRRRRTTTT and then walk out. Might go outside… but that means taking the elevators down 13 floors

Just ride the elevator down to the ground floor and if no one is in there with you, do it there. Then ride back up to your floor on a different elevator and act like nothing happened.

 

[ChiTownBuffalo]

I shat in a trashcan in a Tower Records in Pasadena when I was 21.

 

[Clydefrog]

I shat in a trashcan in a Tower Records in Pasadena when I was 21.

I puked in a medieval castle in Spain when I was 16.

 

[kehs]

ronito: how many of these don't come from anomymized emails?

 

[Ultimadrago]

Those silky smooth hands.

 

[RatskyWatsky]

Nobody cared about my junk, not even the little kids who were there with their parents. Nudity is just what it is to them.

In fact, rather than being traumatised by the sught of my ghastly nudity, the parents tried to make polite cinversation and the kids were more interested in gawking at my foreigner face.

So yeah, it was interesting. Also, it's really relaxing.

Sounds like quite an experience.

 

[Lion Heart]

I can't look at my self in the mirror. With each passing year I get noticeably more ugly, in ways I never expected. The only good thing is that with each passing year I care slightly less (it use to really bother me).

 

[lordfroakie]

I think that's Sentry.

Has to be Sentry, he does have a folders...

 

[Eppy Thatcher]

I'm listening.

I know. I don't know if it's creepier that you'd love it ... or cause it actually happened. Lesbian my ass....

 

[ronito]

ronito: how many of these don't come from anomymized emails?

In the beginning of the first thread almost all of them were anonymous, only a few had names. But I guess as time went on people got more comfortable by the end of it probably a third were not anonymous. This time about half.

 

[ronito]

I haven't worked in almost eight years and most of those eight years were spent doing nothing but playing video games. In 2009 I decided to go back to school but it's a community college and I've been taking my time getting through it. I've been enrolled almost three years and I'm only half way through it. I'm going for a degree to get in the IT field as I finally feel like it's something I can stick with after quitting two different colleges in the past for different majors.

Anyway, I've had a girlfriend for almost eight years. I lost my job shortly after meeting her for stealing. I wasn't making much money and felt like I had to to keep up with taking her out or whatever. I was caught and had to pay back what I took. She's been so incredibly patient with me for these eight years, I don't know how she's done it. I'm good to her and treat her right but I've done nothing but spend her money that she works her ass off to earn. I feel like a piece of a shit most of the time but I also feel like I'm finally on track to getting my life together. I recently got A+ certification and feel I may actually have something to offer when looking for a job. But that's my biggest fear, is that looking for a job will be almost impossible because I haven't worked in almost eight years. What do I do? The fear is so great that I don't even want to try. Oh I also still live with my dad. I'm a 30 year old, unemployed guy who hasn't done shit with himself in a long time and it's starting to really weigh on me.

I'm just so afraid of looking for a job. Not because I don't want to work but because it's been so long since I've looked for one and I have no idea what to do. What would I put on my resume or tell an employee about what I've done for these eight years? Every one tells me to tell them I've done "odd jobs" to get by but I don't know.

So you hate yourself because you feel like you've done nothing, but then you're afraid to do something because you're afraid you can't because you've done nothing?

You've put yourself into a pity party loop. Get out of it man.

 

[Sagitario]

This one's for gay-GAF. I swapped nude pics with another gay gaffer. Not really a confession, I just don't want a bunch of creepy pm's asking for my nude pic.

Here's another confession, we know.

Oh and nice butt by the way.

He must be new to gayGAF. That has been done for years and no one but fernoca ask for the pics.

Spoiler

... joking fer, we know you ask for them publicly and not by PM

;P

 

[noah111]

Has to be Sentry, he does have a folders...

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

sentry plz

 

[ronito]

Hello, I am also one of those guys in a long term relationship that can't stop looking at other women. Everyday, I think about fucking everyone attractive around me. It's the only way I go off when I'm with my girlfriend. I also take pictures. Lots of pictures. I have about 3,000 pictures and videos of girls I secretly take. Including my girlfriends sister, who I think about fucking every chance I get. I also have a few darker secrets, that I may tell later.

And on top of all that you're a tease too? Not cool.

 

[ronito]

I masturbate daily to both the "Post New Pics" thread and the "Show off your GF thread".

I have to say the email on this one is probably the best email address I've ever seen. You know who you are. I congratulate you.

 

[ronito]

When I was still a lurker waiting to be approved I sent in this fake email to that thread. Attached is the email for proof.

Here's a link to huge pic

http://i.imgur.com/YH2Du.png

I must admit I have no idea what's going on. But I do like the "always maxi" ads.

 

[ronito]

The topic of incest is a huge turn on for me. I do not have an attraction to any of my relatives and the thought of having sex with any of them is something that I don't fantasize about but hearing other stories about incest just gets me excited. I can't really pinpoint when or why this started but it just clicked in my mind around high school. Incest stories, porn, hentai, manga, etc. I really enjoy all of it. I prefer older/younger such as mom/son or aunt/nephew. Paper incest is just as erotic to me. The thread on reddit about the real life son who had sex with his mother and the buildup of how it happened was one of the hottest things I have ever read. I don't like the classic 'porn setups' about a son and mother just wanting to fuck. I like the idea of the chase and how they are being tempted with each other and enjoying/reading/viewing the buildup until they finally engage in a sexual matter.

My gf is fully aware of this and we have roleplayed as well leading to some of the best sex I have ever had. After reading the real life mom/son reddit thread, I told my gf and we both proceed to play this out in the bedroom and again, the sex is amazing.

I prolly am a bit weird when it comes to sex and sexual fantasies. A part of me wants my girl to participate in a MMF 3 way (with me being one of the guys of course). The idea of her being that engaged in a sexual experience and me and another guy pleasing her has always been on my mind. I've casually mentioned this but I don't think this is something that I will pursue. I am a jealous individual and she knows this too. She likes to tease me when we go out, flirting with other guys just to get me riled up. I am aware of all of this and fine with it because at the end of the night, it is just me and her. And I love it.

So yeah, that's it lol.

I'm sorry, "Paper Incest"? What's that?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I have to say the email on this one is probably the best email I've ever seen. You know who you are. I congratulate you.

Welp, now you'll never know what I or my (hopeful) future love will ever look like.

YOU SICK FUCK.

 

[ronito]

Okay so uh...I have many confessions and I may spread them out to keep this cool thread going (Tho its apparantly the fourth thread...) so heres my big confession.

I always like to fantasize being shrunk down to around 3-4 inches and having a giant girlfriend. I am not alone in this, and thanks to youtube and google I have found many videos and stories that I love to read/watch. I want to be played with but also protected my a girl who to me, would be a 50-100 foot goddess.

I don't really know where this fantasy comes from, but it seems like I have always fantasized about this.

I'm also getting Mario Tennis Open on Sunday. Anyone else? PM me if you wanna trade friend codes...hey wait a second...how can you pm me when this is anonymous?

DUN DUN DUN!

(I'm probably the only person getting Mario Tennis Open so everyone probably already knows who I am...aw well...)

I know who you are from your email. I am honored to have been emailed by such a giant amongst men.

 

[Deleted member 81567]

Is it Chinner?

Gary Whitta?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Is it Chinner?

Gary Whitta?

What if it's you?

 

[JeTmAn81]

Once I entered Westminster Abbey in London with some friends. We weren't allowed in, but we saw an open door and walked through it. Inside, we admired the abbey and watched a line of monks walk past. Then, i ripped a giant fart. The acoustics in there were amazing.

 

[Mully]

Is it Chinner?

Gary Whitta?

EGGMAN! YOU'RE BACK.

 

[Thunder Monkey]

I'm in bed, nude, reading this thread. That is my confession.

How is that a confession when it's exactly how I picture you?

 

[shanshan310]

K gents that's all the confessions I've received. If you sent something and I didn't post it it must not have gotten to the email address.

So send in more confessions! Confess to me! gafconfess@gmail.com

Otherwise I think we're done here.

Seriously? That was short... Gaf isn't all out of confessions already is it?


Stay and amuse me!

 

[Leeness]

Seriously? That was short... Gaf isn't all out of confessions already is it?


Stay and amuse me!

Seriously. These are fun.

 

[Invisible Man]

I still haven't figured out the identity of my secret admirer. So, if you're reading this right now could you either PM me or email ronito again and answer these questions:

Are you a lurker waiting to get approved or are you a member?
Are you a member of Guy-GAF or Girl-GAF?
Where is my crown of sonnets?