I hope you get better soon, Vorheez. Is it some temporary sickness or something more permanent?
From my knowledge of the subject and information given to me by my doctors, it should be relatively permanent. I've battled a mental illness for well over a decade but did not know my clinical diagnosis because I was able to manage it effectively with continued therapy and behaviorial conditioning.
That was until last year, at the end of October, when I got very sick and was consumed by my illness. I had too much on my plate for too long and I just sort of "snapped" as a result. I withdrew a lot and almost lost my job/dropped out of school (my grades took a hit, not surprisingly). From the end of October until now, I have been in and out of a psychiatrist's office every two weeks in an attempt to better myself (amongst many other things; I do not give up). I was given an official clinical diagnosis of primarily obsessive OCD with covert compulsions (eating the skin on my fingers until they bleed, or constantly needing something to run my fingers through). I've been on a rollercoaster of different medications over these past months, all with varying degrees of nasty side effects.
I finally found a medication that was working well for me, clomipramine HCl, with minimal side effects. Things were looking up until my partner of 3 years left me because I was "too much to deal with" and was making her life "a living hell." This was a hard pill to swallow, obviously, and I'm really struggling again. One step forward two steps back. I think the saddest part about it was that I was going to propose to her this summer; we had talked about our future together and all our plans many times. I had saved up the money and was going to do it in a few weeks. I ended up buying a bicycle with that money though, which is pretty dope lol. She is coming in a few days to take everything, so I'll be left with a TV and a bed, which kinda fucking sucks but a PS4 and a TV is all I need fam. It's all good.
