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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|
- Thread starter Replicant
- Start date
- Status
Haha, I haven't just been trolling grindr. Friends of friends and PoF have been recent pools too.
Where did you all meet worthwhile guys?
Isaac: First dates wind up ending with zero chemistry of any kind and a goodbye (whether they wanna see me again or not) or (often-drunkenly-fueled) sex but no desire on BOTH our parts to try for anything more. It's always very one-sided; either I really wanna see them again for dates and more (and they don't), or they do and I don't.
I guess I'm caving; I just dunno how to play this game anymore. Convinced it's just gonna happen for some people and not for others. It being a relationship with genuine interpersonal AND sexual chemistry.
Mutual genuine attraction that lasts seems like a one-in-a-million thing, but it can't be with everyone fucking coupling up around me, right?
lol. #frustration
Love you guys, thanks for listening.
Where did you all meet worthwhile guys?
Isaac: First dates wind up ending with zero chemistry of any kind and a goodbye (whether they wanna see me again or not) or (often-drunkenly-fueled) sex but no desire on BOTH our parts to try for anything more. It's always very one-sided; either I really wanna see them again for dates and more (and they don't), or they do and I don't.
I guess I'm caving; I just dunno how to play this game anymore. Convinced it's just gonna happen for some people and not for others. It being a relationship with genuine interpersonal AND sexual chemistry.
Mutual genuine attraction that lasts seems like a one-in-a-million thing, but it can't be with everyone fucking coupling up around me, right?
lol. #frustration
Love you guys, thanks for listening.
krypt0nian
Banned
Magnus said:
Pool party at his house one summer. Had a 3 way with him and his then partner that night. By the end of the summer he had chased me down and left his partner. They had been "on the outs" for the past year.
15 years later here I sit with my dream guy.
i knew my current bf since the start of high school. i had talked to him like twice though. he was two years ahead so i was only near him for like a year when we were in the same jazz band. when i came out in the beginning of university, some friends who hang out with him told me he was gay and he was totally my type haha so we both kind of were set up through friends i guess.Magnus said:
yeah so i guess thats pretty useless information. i lucked out i guess. i'm not sure where i would have turned other than through friends and maybe online sites.
Haha awesome.
Man, I've had friends fry to set me up a bunch of times. Let's just say every one was a disaster. I would seriously flip to women rather than entertain the thought of being with these detestable characters my friends somehow thought i'd be into.
OH YOURE GAY??? I KNOW A GAY GUY YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER
Almost a verbatim text I got, I swear to god.
Man, I've had friends fry to set me up a bunch of times. Let's just say every one was a disaster. I would seriously flip to women rather than entertain the thought of being with these detestable characters my friends somehow thought i'd be into.
OH YOURE GAY??? I KNOW A GAY GUY YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER
Almost a verbatim text I got, I swear to god.
i thought i was everyone's dream guy.krypt0nian said:Pool party at his house one summer. Had a 3 way with him and his then partner that night. By the end of the summer he had chased me down and left his partner. They had been "on the outs" for the past year.
15 years later here I sit with my dream guy.
runlikehell
Banned
NeoGAF, as it goes.Magnus said:
krypt0nian
Banned
btkadams said:
When did you get hairy and look like Tom Selleck?
I only like hot dads, and you know that. <3
Man, if anything, the dudes on dating sites like PoF, lavalife and the like have all been far, far flakier than friends I've talked to and met from grindr. I've made some awesome buds off there that extended well past the bedroom.
But yeah, nothing long term from any of them, except the one 2-month relationship I've ever had, and that was a grindr guy. We were on the outs for a bit, and friends again now. It really isn't the seedy cesspool people think it is, not if you don't want it to be.
But yeah, nothing long term from any of them, except the one 2-month relationship I've ever had, and that was a grindr guy. We were on the outs for a bit, and friends again now. It really isn't the seedy cesspool people think it is, not if you don't want it to be.
Ollie Pooch
In a perfect world, we'd all be homersexual
On Gaydar, actually.Magnus said:
And have met a lot of good mates off Grindr. There's dickheads on all those online dating/hookup sites, you've just gotta sift through the shit.
And <3 Scruff. Had some really cool conversations with people from all over the world on that thing.
Do you like scarves, gardening and Kylie? I have the perfect guy for you!Magnus said:
Katana_Strikes
Member
I'm not really a confident guy when it comes to people and I don't think of myself as a good looking guy, so I've always been put off going the online route (or any other route TBH). Well this year I was determined to really put myself out there and try and find a guy, I thought the time was right after years of being lonely and after my past boyfriend ended on a really sour note. So this year I joined/updated a few dating/hook up sites and got talking to a few guys (more tham approaching me then the other way round). Most were failures and wastes of space just on the messaging level. Some seemed decent and wanted to know more.
Grindr was probably the most successful though and there was a youngish guy I was particularly interested in and vice versa and thought we were going to meet, but then he just stopped talking to me. Next up was a guy who really wanted to meet, but then stopped talking to me, only to come back to me a few weeks later. Now I should have given him the shaft after he stopped with me, but I thought "what the hell, what have I to lose?". So we met one day and it was the first guy I'd met in years... it was also one of the weirdest, confident destroying moments I'd come across. He barely wanted to chat to me and you could see he wanted to bail out as soon as possible and he did...
Now after that moment I actually wanted to kill myself, it hurt me so badly and I ended up deleting all my profiles and was going to give up for good. Not a good experience. But after a couple of days of feeling sorry for myself and chatting to a good friend who's been through similar crap, I picked myself up. Got Grindr back up and running and started to cautiously get back on track. There were a couple of other guys I was chatting to that could have been possible candidates... though one guy was a bit further away to me than what was ideal. I'd done a long distance relationship in the past and certainly didn't want to go down that route again, and while this wasn't anywhere near as far I was still cautious.
But this guy, we just clicked and chatted so well with each other. We'd just text and text until the small hours... this went on for a good few weeks. We got to know each other well and really enjoyed each other's "company". We hadn't at this point seen anything of each other than a few pics and hadn't even heard each others voice. But we webcammed a couple of times soon after and we decided we'd meet up.
So this week we did. We were both immensely nervous. He'd never done an internet meet and isn't out to his parents and I was petrified of past experiences coming back to haunt me. But after the initial wierdness of finally meeting, the guy was absolute great. I even asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes straight away. So we've had a few days out so far and we've kissed and cuddled loads, plus we've got a bit intimate with each other now. I feel we're on the same page with values and have a fair bit in common. We just really enjoy each others company and now we're planning on a holiday soon.
There's a 8 year gap in age, where I'm the older, but I prefer younger guys and age isn't a problem for him. We can't see each other everyday due to the distance and work/uni commitments but we're forever in touch and meet whenever we can. It's so far so good, but after years of not trying and really wanting to find someone the wait has totally been worth it.
Grindr was probably the most successful though and there was a youngish guy I was particularly interested in and vice versa and thought we were going to meet, but then he just stopped talking to me. Next up was a guy who really wanted to meet, but then stopped talking to me, only to come back to me a few weeks later. Now I should have given him the shaft after he stopped with me, but I thought "what the hell, what have I to lose?". So we met one day and it was the first guy I'd met in years... it was also one of the weirdest, confident destroying moments I'd come across. He barely wanted to chat to me and you could see he wanted to bail out as soon as possible and he did...
Now after that moment I actually wanted to kill myself, it hurt me so badly and I ended up deleting all my profiles and was going to give up for good. Not a good experience. But after a couple of days of feeling sorry for myself and chatting to a good friend who's been through similar crap, I picked myself up. Got Grindr back up and running and started to cautiously get back on track. There were a couple of other guys I was chatting to that could have been possible candidates... though one guy was a bit further away to me than what was ideal. I'd done a long distance relationship in the past and certainly didn't want to go down that route again, and while this wasn't anywhere near as far I was still cautious.
But this guy, we just clicked and chatted so well with each other. We'd just text and text until the small hours... this went on for a good few weeks. We got to know each other well and really enjoyed each other's "company". We hadn't at this point seen anything of each other than a few pics and hadn't even heard each others voice. But we webcammed a couple of times soon after and we decided we'd meet up.
So this week we did. We were both immensely nervous. He'd never done an internet meet and isn't out to his parents and I was petrified of past experiences coming back to haunt me. But after the initial wierdness of finally meeting, the guy was absolute great. I even asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes straight away. So we've had a few days out so far and we've kissed and cuddled loads, plus we've got a bit intimate with each other now. I feel we're on the same page with values and have a fair bit in common. We just really enjoy each others company and now we're planning on a holiday soon.
There's a 8 year gap in age, where I'm the older, but I prefer younger guys and age isn't a problem for him. We can't see each other everyday due to the distance and work/uni commitments but we're forever in touch and meet whenever we can. It's so far so good, but after years of not trying and really wanting to find someone the wait has totally been worth it.
Really happy for you katana!! You sound like you definitely deserve it
I want a relationship, but at this point I'm over that. Have a guy coming over in a few hours. Will see how it goes.last time I saw him was in september, nothing happened then. And I don't think anything will tonight, even though he jokes about it. Whatever happens happens I guess.
Edit/ 4 hours later... Had a lot of fun, but not the kind of fun I was hoping for
We played wii and watched a couple of tv shows.
I want a relationship, but at this point I'm over that. Have a guy coming over in a few hours. Will see how it goes.last time I saw him was in september, nothing happened then. And I don't think anything will tonight, even though he jokes about it. Whatever happens happens I guess.
Edit/ 4 hours later... Had a lot of fun, but not the kind of fun I was hoping for
We played wii and watched a couple of tv shows.
krypt0nian
Banned
Apparently I have pissed off some but suggesting that gay long term couples don't have the sex issues that straight married couples do. You know because two guys generally don't withhold sex.
Oh well.
Oh well.
ZephyrFate
Banned
That's a pretty broad generalization.
But since I think gay relationships are better than straight ones by virtue of how awesome men are, I'm apt to agree.
But since I think gay relationships are better than straight ones by virtue of how awesome men are, I'm apt to agree.
i'm going to agree with zephyr on this one. i don't think all gay guy couples are like that haha. statistically, men are way faster to get "in the mood" than women, but i don't think that would directly mean there would be more sex in an all-male relationship.krypt0nian said:
i can't disprove you though. i don't have sex everyday but i also don't even live with my bf.
krypt0nian
Banned
From my experience and those of every one of my many gay friends in LTR it's true.
Now contrast that with your straight married friends.
Yeah.
Are there a few gay LTRs that have issues? Sure. Doesn't make the generalization untrue.
Now contrast that with your straight married friends.
Yeah.
Are there a few gay LTRs that have issues? Sure. Doesn't make the generalization untrue.
ZephyrFate
Banned
If only anecdotes = truth was actually a real equivalence.krypt0nian said:
Protip: It's not.
If anything, talk like this is why people still don't take gay relationships seriously. Gay people have a whole 'nother world of issues in their relationships that would probably trump the sex issues there.
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Nonsense. If can't accept something this basic, not sure what to tell you. No one said there weren't issues. But frequency and desire are not generally a problem, as they are in most straight marriages. Putting down anechdotal evidence out of hand only means something on msg boards.
It's basic nature that two guys would have more frequent relations. Talk to more people, and you'll get the same responses.
No matter. People obviously argue with anything on msgs boards. It's fairly funny. But then not surprising as it's rare to have anyone in a LTR here.
krypt0nian
Banned
btkadams said:
Will got laid like 5 times in the whole show. He obviously was never gay.
ZephyrFate
Banned
I love you how act like I don't interact with people, have life experiences, know people, etc.krypt0nian said:
Just because YOU and the people you KNOW in LTR who are gay have more sex and don't withhold doesn't mean it's the same for everyone.
Here, I'll play your game. Some gay people have AIDS. Run through the krypt0nian logic machine we get... EVERY gay person has AIDS!
Bam.
In my experience (I've only been with one person, my fiancé) and from what my friends tell me, it's way better on our lane. It can be that my man and I are on the same wavelength, synchronized, call it whatever you want, but there's generally no issues at all. Of course there's arguments and discussions but there's never one part that tries to guilty into the other part. From my point of view, most heterosexual couples end up with a dysfunctional equanimity: Woman lets the man "drive the car" but she's holding the map. I'm sure this shitty metaphor will confuse some of you. What I'm trying to say is most heterosexual couples fall in this error of trying to grab the reigns of their partner (be it a man or a woman) instead of reasonable discussion and rational dialogue.
Of course this doesn't have to be something that doesn't exist in same-sex couples, I'm just saying that I've seen that happen less in same-sex couples (talking from my experience and my friends' experience).
Hope I don't come across as some misogynistic guy, because I'm really not.
Of course this doesn't have to be something that doesn't exist in same-sex couples, I'm just saying that I've seen that happen less in same-sex couples (talking from my experience and my friends' experience).
Hope I don't come across as some misogynistic guy, because I'm really not.
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Now tell me out of the gay couples in LTRs how many have very infrequent sex compared to long time married couples?
And your comparison is stupid, as I know 2 people with HIV out of a current group of hundreds of gay friends and acquaintances so where's the all?
Live more and then argue. Guys (gay or straight) don't withhold sex in nearly the same percentages as straight women. If you think otherwise, you're goofy.
You'd argue against shit if you had a mouthful of it.
ZephyrFate
Banned
And you'd be a completely ignorant towards anything that's not your point of view... wait, that's what you do all the time!krypt0nian said:
Of the gay couples I know they have regular sex, but at the same time all of my friends in heterosexual relationships are having just as much sex if not more so.
My comparison is barely stupid, it's only stupid because running it through your logic makes it insipid, which is what your anecdotal shit does. It ruins an argument because all you can say is "well I know couple X and couple Y and they represent ALL couples I'm sure".
Where are your statistics? Do you have any? You're goofy.
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Oh Lordy. Statistics. I'll get right on that. All your friends in straight marriages are having rampant sex. Riiiight. You will seriously argue the moon is made of cheese.
Nevermind. Obviously straight marriages are rampant with sex and everyone is lying across the board about their wives. I should have them provide weekly statistics.
Guys (gay or straight) don't withhold sex in nearly the same percentages as straight women. If you think otherwise, you're goofy.
ZephyrFate
Banned
When I need statements that make no goddamn sense with absolutely nothing to back it up besides "well I know this person", I'll come to you. Thanks for your insight. Move along now.krypt0nian said:
Edit: I know women are not your forte in any way, nor do you seem to really have any experience knowing an actual woman, but they can get horny too. More at 11.
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Live a little. How's that relationship going?
ZephyrFate
Banned
Fantastic. My hand and I are going just great.krypt0nian said:
I'm so glad I'm not... wait, aren't you like 60?
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
I don't actually think you know anyone in LTRs. Let alone ever had one.
Speak when you've lived some. Until then don't pretend to know what experience brings.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Haha, seriously? Okay, and I can doubt you actually know these 'fantastic' gay LTRs that you claim to know of.krypt0nian said:
How about you speak when you actually have something you can prove?
Cosmic Bus
pristine morning snow
hateradio said:
This page makes me think it could be worthwhile changing my stance to hating who I am because of gays like krypt and Zephyr.
ZephyrFate
Banned
D'aww, thanks! Now go be social.Cosmic Bus said:
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
How about you come back to the table when you've actually had some real relationships?
Thinking that every social concept needs hard proof is only true on msg boards. If you think that the vast majority of married straight couples have regular sex after a few years pass or that the vast majority of men withhold sex you're blatantly wrong. This isn't something krypt0nian is pulling out of his ass. It's common sense. You seem very sheltered.
ZephyrFate
Banned
Every relationship undergoes the 'seven year itch'. Gay or straight. With that comes, inevitably, shortened amounts of sex.krypt0nian said:
But to broadly generalize relationships is to ignore the fact that sex drive varies between people, men or women, wildly and even moreso when they're in relationships.
Stop bringing up my own relationship history when that has nothing to do with the topic at hand.
Sheltered? The fuck? You don't even fucking know me outside of the Internet. If you're going to pull out these random baseless insults out of nowhere, then we're done here because you're being a prick.
krypt0nian
Banned
ZephyrFate said:
Ok so you do believe those two things. Then you're patently wrong.
Not fun when someone's a prick you you, huh? But you've been doing that for a while now in various threads to me so deal with it.
ZephyrFate
Banned
The funniest part about your argument is that you're comparing people who are married to people who are not married. There's a whole world of difference, and I imagine once gays get the ability to be married across the nation, we'll be feeling it, too.krypt0nian said:
Hey, at least I'm not making up statements about who you are to be a complete douchebag. Making generalizations about relationships in general does nothing to help anyone.
For the record I don't believe either of those things because I don't profess to making statements about relationships that I have no intimate knowledge of, mostly because it's their business. You don't think these LTR you have so much precious anecdotal knowledge of aren't just lying out their ass to you?
Because they probably are.
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