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Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

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_Isaac said:
How do you know it wasn't first date jitters? How do you know he's just not good at opening up so early on? Maybe you just have to get to know him. How do you know it's a strike out so early in the game? How do you know these things?
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I guess this might be terrible or closed-minded of me, or maybe I just think too highly of my own instincts, but I firmly believe in a spark on a first night together as a strong indicator of whether any potential is present at all. Different kinds of sparks for different kinds of relationships. I just feel like I know what kind of person someone is going to be to me, and for me within the first few hours I spend with them. Like, this guy, I know he's a nice guy and might turn out a friend/acquaintance I hang out with a couple times a year, but he's just not someone I'm attracted to spending time with on a regular basis.

Obviously, massive game-changing things can happen the more you spend time with someone. You could be on a second date and bam, you both realize you have some niche hobby in common, or you realize you share a common event in your histories that bonds you somehow, or you've both suffered some similar trial....but fuck...does anyone have the patience to give every guy that comes along the time (and money required to engage in the average couple social activities) to see if these things are there? Given that I've already felt the spark I'm looking for with guys in the past, does it make sense to try and persist and wait for the spark when it doesn't seem to be there with other guys?

I just feel like life's too short, and I want to hunt for the spark I know I've felt at least three times before, on first dates, sometimes in the first few minutes I spend with someone. I just feel like it's painful and unfair to both parties to persist and force us to feel it.

I hope this doesn't paint me out to be an asshole. Just a practical...asshole. :(

I still count myself fairly new to the dating game. I can still remember every guy I've ever been on a date with (yes, first and last names). Couldn't be more than 20, 22 in my entire life. But I think that's enough to develop a personal...dating philosophy.

I think.

:(

edit-

I meandered, and I realized I didn't quite directly address your question.

I suppose I think of a first date very much like a job interview. And I suppose I'm attracted to guys that could perform well in that scenario. I want (and hope) a guy brings his A-game to a first date, the same way he would to an interview. I'm certainly not talking about the way he dresses, or the car he drives, or whether he offers to pay for my meal (I don't know shit about fashion, I don't own a car, and I'm a postgrad student that has trouble rationalizing a $20 meal just for myself), but I'd expect him to be charming if he's going to win me over. That's the kind of guy I want for me. Someone who's going to be fun to hang with on the very first time we hang out. First impressions are everything.

So yeah, I can't know, I guess, if these were jitters, or whatever. Haha.
 
fainting.gif


such a pretty behind <3
 
Koodo said:
Did I miss some shirtless pics?


Also, Tom Hardy could manhandle me any hour of any day of any week of any... etc.
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He is so fucking hot. I saw Inception twice just to ogle.*

*Mostly just to ogle.
 
Sucks so bad when you get stood up. I am so glad I lived 2 miles from the guy.

What's weird is I hooked up with the same guy late late last monday and we had a good time.

*sigh*
 
I saw the most beautiful man I have ever seen in my entire life today. He works at Hamleys, Went in with my friend. This guy comes up to us asks us if we need any help, i said no. I look at his face and my jaw dropped. Then he asks us if we want to see some magic trick. He showed us tricks for about 20 minutes while I just stared at him in awe.
Green eyes,amazing lips, perfect jaw line, tanned skin.. everythinggg. I'm proud I could keep my tongue in my mouth. And his smile... oh my word! and he had dimples. I wanted to ravage him right there and then. Its been almost 4 hours and I still can't get his face out my mind. mmmmmmmmmmmmm
 
Holy shit Gaf.... So me and this guy have been good friends since primary school, we know each other very well and still keep up, despite him leaving school nearly 3 years ago (I left last July.) We always get together with our regular group of friends for birthdays and Christmas and such and tonight we were round at his place watching a couple of films for his 19th birthday (although there was just 3 of us tonight, incuding him). We left at about midnight, and he's gone to a club with some other friends - he didn't ask me since he knows that's not my thing-.

He's a bit shy and I've no real reason to think that he's gay, let alone interested in me, but he hasn't had a GF despite being, well, more than qualified in the looks area.

Anyway, I get woken up about an hour ago (about 4am my time) by my phone ringing, and it's him. Naturally the only logical explanation is that he's waking me up for some precarious and exciting sexual endeavour, one that would make all my wildest dreams come true: so I answer, heart racing. Well, turns out he's just locked out of his house and needs a place to crash for a couple of hours.

He did suggest coming up to my room and sleeping on the floor since there's already someone staying on the sofa, but he instead decided to stay in the kitchen. So, like a good friend, I found a couple of pillows and left him to lye across 3 chairs. I went down 10 minutes later to offer him my duvet but he was already asleep.

I've always held onto the idea that he might be gay -although I myself am still 'closeted'- and whilst tonight was far from him saying "no, I'm not gay and have absolutely no feeling for you", it certainly feels like that's what happened. It's not really the disappointment of it not being a midnight booty call that's got me down but... I mean, he could have made the best of a bad situation, if he were that way, and yet I feel devastated that he didn't.

... I don't know... it sounds completely stupid reading over it but I just needed to type it and get it out there.
 
You could always ask him... it's good to take precautions and tiptoe around guys like this, but on the other hand it'll take longer to know if you don't just be blunt about it. Make a move, flirt, hint at it. Let him know that you're gay, and you're interested.

But do it at your own pace. Don't rush into it.
 
I'm confident I saw and felt the most textbook-perfect man alive last night at the de facto strip joint in Toronto (Remington's). "Man of steel" indeed. Man, if I closed my eyes as I ran my hands down his chest and abs, I would have sworn I was touching a perfectly smoothed out concrete wall. This guy was un-fucking-real. Pecs, abs, arms, legs, hair, eyes, smile, voice, all to die for.

My friends and I all lost our minds as he put in his show, and they must've seen how stunned into silence I was, since one of them immediately grabbed the guy afterward and bought me a private dance. Jesus fucking christ.

This guy, my god. I am fully aware that their BUSINESS, especially during a private dance, IS to emotionally connect with you, if only for five minutes, and make you feel like the most special man alive. I'm so aware that they work to construct that illusion, and I have to applaud this motherfucker for achieving an A+. I can't get him outta my head.

We ended up just talking for half the time I had with him in the booth, because I was genuinely fascinated by his life as much as his body, and yeah, he probably lied about some details, but I believed him and didnt care, haha. It was more fun to give in and pretend god sent me an angel for two songs and revel in it. I practically fell in love with the motherfucker in a span of five minutes.

What an intoxicating experience lol. The guy's eyes and voice and everything....! Fuck.

I truly envy the girls that guy chooses to make his. Fuck.

He was only the only stripper that never pulled out all his junk on stage or in private, and man, he didnt have to. And the motherfucker knew it. Meanwhile, some of the trolls (as nice as their bodies were) practically walked on stage with a boner already hanging out.

What a fascinating place. I recommend everyone get teabagged by an excitable stripper in front of a cheering bar full of patrons at least once in your life. It's hilarious and humbling and fun, Hahahaha.

And that spot really has a bizarre emotional resonance for me too. A private dance there 7 years ago was the first physical encounter I'd ever had with a guy (or anyone). Sure it was bought and manufactured, but it felt real enough to my naive 19 year old self. What I'd give to randomly bump into 'Anthony' again. I'd buy him a drink and shoot the shit for real. Hahaha.
 
I can't edit my post above right now for some reason (on mobile), but:

TLDR: It's been a month, and I really need to get laid soon. Also, strip joints can be lots of fun with the right crowd. And, I saw the face of god, had him dance for me, and don't even remember his stage name. Life is good.
 
I wanted to make a thread about this, since I feel my situation is just one example of something that I think every goes through. But alas, my "Junior" status prevents me...sigh...

I work at a coffee shop, and every weekend the same group of med students come in and study for a few hours. I could tell that at least a few of them were gay, and it was confirmed when one of them started flirting with me. Nothing too crazy, he’d just stand at the espresso machine talking to me as I made his drink, and occasional catching each other staring from across the room.

That all changed this weekend when he broke the fourth wall and asked me out. I said yes, and we’re going out next week.

Physically, he’s definitely my kind of guy, but the one thing I’m a little concerned about is the very real social/economic differences between the two of us. He’s a little older than me, and definitely a lot more successful and well-off than I am, and will most likely continue to be. Don’t get me wrong – I’m no slouch. I’m finishing up my degree and have goals of my own. But I was raised middle class, probably always will be middle class, and am pretty ok with that. Whereas he lives in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Philadelphia and comes from a family that’s been very well off as long as he’s known. At least, this is what I’ve gathered from conversation.

It sparked a real debate at work, with a few people thinking I should just go for it and not concern myself with thinking about what I don’t know, and other people admitting that they wouldn’t be able to get of the “class difference”, as it were. I mean, it’s easy to watch movies and read books about the rich boy who falls in love with the poor farmer’s daughter and together they overcome parental disapproval and go on to live happily ever after. But things aren’t always that cut in dry in the real world.

In a time where couples are more and more expected to be equals (I feel that this is especially true for two grown men), is it really that simple to just look past where a person came from and where they’re going? Casual flirting is one thing, but even I find it difficult to believe that I could relate to or be comfortable with someone who was raised so differently from myself.

Anybody here go through something like this? Either date someone socially/economically “beneath” them, or been that person? Did it work for you?
 
I don't think it should matter much. But whenever you go out he's more likely gonna want to pay for everything, would you be comfortable with that, would it create some awkwardness. You'll know if the difference matters or not after your first date.

Before you guys had your first 'sexual experiences' not necessarily losing virginity, but like hand jobs and blow jobs. Did you wanna do it with someone you at least liked or just any random stranger. And what did you end up doing? I'm still battling with the idea of if I just wanna do it to get it over with, or do it with someone special that I would at least remember fondly. Making out and rubbing against each other is as far as I have ever gone
 
royalan said:
I wanted to make a thread about this, since I feel my situation is just one example of something that I think every goes through. But alas, my "Junior" status prevents me...sigh...

I work at a coffee shop, and every weekend the same group of med students come in and study for a few hours. I could tell that at least a few of them were gay, and it was confirmed when one of them started flirting with me. Nothing too crazy, he’d just stand at the espresso machine talking to me as I made his drink, and occasional catching each other staring from across the room.

That all changed this weekend when he broke the fourth wall and asked me out. I said yes, and we’re going out next week.

Physically, he’s definitely my kind of guy, but the one thing I’m a little concerned about is the very real social/economic differences between the two of us. He’s a little older than me, and definitely a lot more successful and well-off than I am, and will most likely continue to be. Don’t get me wrong – I’m no slouch. I’m finishing up my degree and have goals of my own. But I was raised middle class, probably always will be middle class, and am pretty ok with that. Whereas he lives in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Philadelphia and comes from a family that’s been very well off as long as he’s known. At least, this is what I’ve gathered from conversation.

It sparked a real debate at work, with a few people thinking I should just go for it and not concern myself with thinking about what I don’t know, and other people admitting that they wouldn’t be able to get of the “class difference”, as it were. I mean, it’s easy to watch movies and read books about the rich boy who falls in love with the poor farmer’s daughter and together they overcome parental disapproval and go on to live happily ever after. But things aren’t always that cut in dry in the real world.

In a time where couples are more and more expected to be equals (I feel that this is especially true for two grown men), is it really that simple to just look past where a person came from and where they’re going? Casual flirting is one thing, but even I find it difficult to believe that I could relate to or be comfortable with someone who was raised so differently from myself.

Anybody here go through something like this? Either date someone socially/economically “beneath” them, or been that person? Did it work for you?
Click to expand...

Interesting point. Has potential for great conversations though
 
royalan said:
I wanted to make a thread about this, since I feel my situation is just one example of something that I think every goes through. But alas, my "Junior" status prevents me...sigh...

I work at a coffee shop, and every weekend the same group of med students come in and study for a few hours. I could tell that at least a few of them were gay, and it was confirmed when one of them started flirting with me. Nothing too crazy, he’d just stand at the espresso machine talking to me as I made his drink, and occasional catching each other staring from across the room.

That all changed this weekend when he broke the fourth wall and asked me out. I said yes, and we’re going out next week.

Physically, he’s definitely my kind of guy, but the one thing I’m a little concerned about is the very real social/economic differences between the two of us. He’s a little older than me, and definitely a lot more successful and well-off than I am, and will most likely continue to be. Don’t get me wrong – I’m no slouch. I’m finishing up my degree and have goals of my own. But I was raised middle class, probably always will be middle class, and am pretty ok with that. Whereas he lives in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Philadelphia and comes from a family that’s been very well off as long as he’s known. At least, this is what I’ve gathered from conversation.

It sparked a real debate at work, with a few people thinking I should just go for it and not concern myself with thinking about what I don’t know, and other people admitting that they wouldn’t be able to get of the “class difference”, as it were. I mean, it’s easy to watch movies and read books about the rich boy who falls in love with the poor farmer’s daughter and together they overcome parental disapproval and go on to live happily ever after. But things aren’t always that cut in dry in the real world.

In a time where couples are more and more expected to be equals (I feel that this is especially true for two grown men), is it really that simple to just look past where a person came from and where they’re going? Casual flirting is one thing, but even I find it difficult to believe that I could relate to or be comfortable with someone who was raised so differently from myself.

Anybody here go through something like this? Either date someone socially/economically “beneath” them, or been that person? Did it work for you?
Click to expand...

unless you're planning to drop your trousers and shit on his mother's fine china, I'm sure you're good enough to date him.

Seriously, there is so much failure radiating from your post that I don't even know where to begin!
 
royalan said:
Anybody here go through something like this? Either date someone socially/economically “beneath” them, or been that person? Did it work for you?
Click to expand...

I don't think you should think too much about it, especially given that you haven't even been on your first date yet. It's not a big deal until you make it out to be. Just go out with him and enjoy the night, I'm sure you'll have fun. Then you can take it from there.

(Ben <3)

idwl said:
Before you guys had your first 'sexual experiences' not necessarily losing virginity, but like hand jobs and blow jobs. Did you wanna do it with someone you at least liked or just any random stranger. And what did you end up doing? I'm still battling with the idea of if I just wanna do it to get it over with, or do it with someone special that I would at least remember fondly. Making out and rubbing against each other is as far as I have ever gone
Click to expand...
My first time with a guy (even making out), I was 20. I was super horny and couldn't take it anymore so I got it over with with a guy I liked enough to not feel bad about myself afterwards.
If you're still battling with it I'd say you can probably wait for someone you like enough. Doesn't have to be "the one" but it should be someone with whom you feel comfortable enough.
Just don't do anything stupid and remember to use protection :)
 
Alcoori said:
My first time with a guy (even making out), I was 20. I was super horny and couldn't take it anymore so I got it over with with a guy I liked enough to not feel bad about myself afterwards.
If you're still battling with it I'd say you can probably wait for someone you like enough. Doesn't have to be "the one" but it should be someone with whom you feel comfortable enough.
Just don't do anything stupid and remember to use protection :)
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I'm turning 20 soonish. And I just wanna do it before then. For your first time giving a guy a hand job/ blow job . Were you freaking out in your head or were you to into the moment to think straight.
 
i_am_ben said:
Seriously, there is so much failure radiating from your post that I don't even know where to begin!
Click to expand...
This! You sound already defeated in a way: that, if anything, will be what he doesn't find attractive about you.

But back to the point, he wouldn't have asked a barista out if he gave too much of a rat's about class or status. You'll be fine.

Just, as always, remember not to get too caught up in it all and just have fun and be okay with whatever.
 
idwl said:
I'm turning 20 soonish. And I just wanna do it before then. For your first time giving a guy a hand job/ blow job . Were you freaking out in your head or were you to into the moment to think straight.
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"OMG I'm finally doing it! OMG I'm finally doing it! OMG I'm finally doing it! OMG dick tastes so good! OMG dick tastes so good!"


I wasn't freaked out or awkward, I just enjoyed the moment and was surprised to realize afterwards how natural it felt to me. This was also the time I thought to myself "Yep, I'm definitely gay".
 
Alcoori said:
"OMG I'm finally doing it! OMG I'm finally doing it! OMG I'm finally doing it! OMG dick tastes so good! OMG dick tastes so good!"


I wasn't freaked out or awkward, I just enjoyed the moment and was surprised to realize afterwards how natural it felt to me. This was also the time I thought to myself "Yep, I'm definitely gay".
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Hahahahaha you made me laugh in the library, got a few dirty looks . I look forward to my day =D
 
Seriously, there is so much failure radiating from your post that I don't even know where to begin!
Click to expand...

This! You sound already defeated in a way: that, if anything, will be what he doesn't find attractive about you.
Click to expand...

Funny thing is I agree. I know I sound a bit pathetic right now. Probably because I could possibly really like the guy. I never thought the flirting would turn into anything more than that, and I was really good at that.

It's not so much that I don't think I'm "good enough" for him. I'd like to think that my confidence is at a decent level. I've been in relationships and gone on dates. I think I'm a decently attractive guy. I've just usually gone out with guys who were somewhat like me. Usually friends, classmates, friends-of-friends, crap like that.

But going out with a guy like this is so unlike what I'm used to, I guess I am psyching myself out a little bit. From the brief conversations we've had at my shop, I can just sort of tell that he has a completely different perspective on life, just based on what he's been exposed to. He's older by a few years, and between rotations at the hospital and school he never has free time (the date is almost two weeks away from the day he asked me out). He'll probably never have to budget his money or worry about the same financial issues that I do. It's not so much that I don't feel good enough for him, I'm worried that I won't be able to relate to him.

...then there's the possibility that he really just wants some quick ass out of the date. And I'm not sure about that either. lol
 
If he really is that busy and had to set the date two weeks in advance, I don't think he just wants quick and easy ass. Don't over think it. Just go out and see . What's the worst that could happen?
 
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