• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

Gay and Bisexual relationship thread |OT|

Status
Not open for further replies.
Okay, so I actually have something worth discussing with GayGAF here.

I'm in kind of an awkward situation, and I suppose I might need some advice. Basically, here's the story:

My boyfriend and I have accounts on Grindr, mainly just for the hell of it or to find new friends, but we're also kind of wanting to try an open relationship thing... Well, one of our gay friends just recently got an iPad. He's been downloading apps like crazy, and apparently that includes Grindr. He found my boyfriend on Grindr and sent him a message. This was really awkward, because he's a really close friend, and now he presumably knows that we're in an open relationship and possibly looking for a friend with benefits from our Grindr profiles. He's not the type of person who would want to do something like that anyway (though I have to admit we would not say no if he was up for it, lol), so I'm more concerned with him being scared off because of it or something. But whatever, nothing really seemed off when they were talking on Grindr, he pretty much just said "hey, I found you!" and asked what's up. So that's not really the issue here.

The awkward situation I'm talking about isn't with him, but with a friend of his (also a friend of ours). Moments after our friend with the iPad sent my boyfriend a message on Grindr, the other friend texted me, asking me what's up and saying that he was at the first friend's house. This made me even more nervous, because I figured that this other friend now knows everything, too. Okay, still kinda awkward, but no big deal, right? Well, I'm not so sure. It's odd that he randomly texted me out of the blue like that, because he rarely texts me to begin with. It's almost as if he was intrigued about what he presumably learned about me and my boyfriend and was texting me out of curiosity. I just responded normally, though I couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to hint something. This suspicion only got greater when we started texting more, as it really seemed like he was dropping hints.

First he tells me that he got a new tail (he's also a furry like me and my boyfriend) that "isn't public appropriate", which was kind of odd hearing him talk about so openly (though we have talked about similar things before, but not out of the blue like this). Then he mentions that he's been trying to find a boyfriend...and he comes back to this multiple times even after we start talking about something else. Then, after he already asked how I was earlier, he asked how me and my boyfriend are doing. He didn't just ask how my boyfriend was doing, he asked how we were doing. Maybe it's nothing, but it seemed like he was trying to get at something to me. And then he mentions trying to find a boyfriend again and how he can't find any furries to date, because all the other ones he's met except me and my boyfriend are just weird or not his type.

So...yeah. Maybe I'm just thinking about this too much. Maybe it's nothing, and he's not hinting anything at all. For all I know, he may not even have seen our Grindr profiles. But it's been driving me crazy not knowing. If he really is wanting to try something with me and my boyfriend, that would be amazing, because we kinda have a crush on him anyway. XD But I can't just ask him, because if that's not the case then that could just make things a lot worse. I just don't know what the best thing to do in this situation is... Any advice? =p
 
LOL, love that he said you were a natural. Gives ya a confidence boost ;)

I hooked up with some dude who was previously girls-only and he took to it like a dog starved of food for a week.

:P

Well, I know another quip I'll be using from now on. Thanks!
 
Yeah, I'm fascinated too - what is a furry exactly? The bit where your mate said he had a new tail? where would you get one? Is it a sexual thing?
 
Lol, I'm actually not really sure what he meant by the tail thing. I know they do make tails like the one Dead Man posted (of course his would be a fox tail, not a pony tail), and I kinda assumed that's what he was talking about, but I'm not sure. We didn't really go into detail. I asked him how a tail isn't "public appropriate", and he said "it goes places". So, yeah, probably something like that, but that's all he said. Though what confuses me is that after that he said "great for other times with furs", and I'm not quite sure in what way he meant that, lol. Probably just joking around, I guess.

Man, I think about things too much. >.>


And julls, "furry" is a very broad term, but basically it refers to a person who has an interest in anthropomorphic animals (also called furries), which could range from just liking the artwork or character design, to a sexual interest. It is in no way synonymous with bestiality, though. That's a very common misconception.
 
Does one need to plow the fields though? I mean, sexual exploration is important to personal growth, I admit that, but does every gay man need to go through a promiscuous phase to make up for lack of it during their early years? Cant you be gay and prefer relationships instead of one night stands with male strippers or the weekend routine of hooking up with some shirtess dude or Grindr fling?

Well, in my mind someone who did not "get it out of his system" is not someone I would be totally comfortable dating seriously. Only because I feel like that when the relationship "slows down" (ie you're done with the Honeymoon phase), he's gonna feel like he wants to explore other things and is curious about how it feels to taste another dick.
I might be wrong because I'm sure not everyone is built like that, but of the few experiences I've had, it always happened like that (straight or gay).

I don't think I've been promiscuous by any standard, but I also think I've been with enough guys to realize that after all what's most important for me is to have a connection with the guy I'm having sex with and that it makes it SO much better.

Okay, so I actually have something worth discussing with GayGAF here.

He's definitely interesting in sniffing yo' butt.
 
Lol, I'm actually not really sure what he meant by the tail thing. I know they do make tails like the one Dead Man posted (of course his would be a fox tail, not a pony tail), and I kinda assumed that's what he was talking about, but I'm not sure. We didn't really go into detail. I asked him how a tail isn't "public appropriate", and he said "it goes places". So, yeah, probably something like that, but that's all he said. Though what confuses me is that after that he said "great for other times with furs", and I'm not quite sure in what way he meant that, lol. Probably just joking around, I guess.

Man, I think about things too much. >.>


And julls, "furry" is a very broad term, but basically it refers to a person who has an interest in anthropomorphic animals (also called furries), which could range from just liking the artwork or character design, to a sexual interest. It in no way is synonymous with bestiality, though. That's a very common misconception.

I was thinking about something else :x
 
And julls, "furry" is a very broad term, but basically it refers to a person who has an interest in anthropomorphic animals (also called furries), which could range from just liking the artwork or character design, to a sexual interest. It in no way is synonymous with bestiality, though. That's a very common misconception.
Thanks - I just find it interesting. Oh, and I never thought it was bestiality-related :)
I just didn't know if it was like "I like fucking power bottoms dressed as Sonic the hedgehog" or something. I also think if i stuck that pony tail up my partner's butt we'd both be in hysterics.

I don't think I've been promiscuous by any standard, but I also think I've been with enough guys to realize that after all what's most important for me is to have a connection with the guy you're having sex with and that it makes it SO much better.
Yeah, I'd put myself in the same boat. Experience is definitely a plus in my book.
 
Just looking for regular porn is less time consuming and more satisfying than looking for translation patches and/or walkthoughs for those games.
Oh, I'd never bother - in all honesty I've looked at bara once or twice, admired the hot beefiness and moved on. But the fact someone made a game is awesome :P I'll stick to my Raging Stallion stuff for now.

Oh, and nice pic :)
 
Just looking for regular porn is less time consuming and more satisfying than looking for translation patches and/or walkthoughs for those games.

Well, I guess if you're not inherently a gamer, it probably seem more like work than play. To be honest, beyond the cliches that exist inherently in porn, some bara games actually feature really well told stories. Which for me makes the experience all that more affecting and rewarding (we can all admit that porn may be hot, but almost always lack that emotional connect). Sometimes it's not just about getting to the next picture of naked guys.

My current guilty pleasure is the Hercules comic/manga by a Chinese artist :) (search for mauleo if you're curious)
 
Bara is fucking /hot/.

Maxrpg, what is it that you want for yourself in the future? Depending on that, I sense you might be getting into dangerous territory. Or maybe not. *shrug*
 
But I can't just ask him, because if that's not the case then that could just make things a lot worse. I just don't know what the best thing to do in this situation is... Any advice? =p

Ask him.

Yes, I know it could make things worse. But if you really really want to know, you're going have to take that risk. How else can you find out?

Hack into his e-mail or facebook? Violation of trust.

Ask one of his friends? It would get back to him.

Read his mind? Impossible and also a violation of trust.

No, ask him directly. If it's a no, hopefully your relationship is strong enough to repair any damage (if there's any). But if it's a yes, congrats. You have a new playmate.
 
Ask him.

Yes, I know it could make things worse. But if you really really want to know, you're going have to take that risk. How else can you find out?

Hack into his e-mail or facebook? Violation of trust.

Ask one of his friends? It would get back to him.

Read his mind? Impossible and also a violation of trust.

No, ask him directly. If it's a no, hopefully your relationship is strong enough to repair any damage (if there's any). But if it's a yes, congrats. You have a new playmate.

The man speaks sense.
 
Hey, a '76-er. /fist bumps

I wonder if any of you here play bara games.

I've been a "bara" fan for about 8 years, even did some scanning waay back in the day. I still don't like calling it bara but in any case.
My favourite "bara" game is Hunks Work Shop obviously, it's awesome. Every game by Gai Mizuki is also great, Honey Come Bingo has my favourite cast of them all.
 
Every game by Gai Mizuki is also great, Honey Come Bingo has my favourite cast of them all.

What I was most impressed with was the fact that Honey Comb Bingo actually has a legitimately fun mini-game. Although it was often frustrating that the AI character you're trying to keep "alive" tend to make really stupid moves. Too bad he hasn't done anything interesting since (not to mention the defunct Magic Blade title).
 
Yeah no games but his doujinshi are still awesome. Since we are in the subject I want to show off a bit. Here's my most prized bara-related possession, a signed book by Gengoroh Tagame himself:

o7a7yl.jpg

T6hXdl.jpg


He's a nice guy despite what all the bizarre shit he draws could make you think heh.
For example, to those who don't know, this book he sent me (Oyako Jigoku - 父子地獄,Father and Son in Hell), is a about the samurai on the cover and his son who are held hostage by some sort of feudal lord, tied up, tortured, raped and forced to fuck each other. It's pretty cool actually, one of his tamer works.
 
I'd recommend Virtus, the book with gladiators. It's pretty old but it's great, it's his best work IMO. The rest is too hardcore for my tastes other than Oyako Jigoku.
 
I'd recommend Virtus, the book with gladiators. It's pretty old but it's great, it's his best work IMO. The rest is too hardcore for my tastes other than Oyako Jigoku.

Yeah, with few exceptions most of his stuff is either borderline torture porn, or hardcore torture porn.
 
I remember one of the stories when a guy is raped by a minotaur, gets pregnant, gives birth to a baby-cow-thingy and starts lactating.
It's so gross lol.
 
First he tells me that he got a new tail (he's also a furry like me and my boyfriend) that "isn't public appropriate", which was kind of odd hearing him talk about so openly (though we have talked about similar things before, but not out of the blue like this). Then he mentions that he's been trying to find a boyfriend...and he comes back to this multiple times even after we start talking about something else. Then, after he already asked how I was earlier, he asked how me and my boyfriend are doing. He didn't just ask how my boyfriend was doing, he asked how we were doing. Maybe it's nothing, but it seemed like he was trying to get at something to me. And then he mentions trying to find a boyfriend again and how he can't find any furries to date, because all the other ones he's met except me and my boyfriend are just weird or not his type.

So...yeah. Maybe I'm just thinking about this too much. Maybe it's nothing, and he's not hinting anything at all. For all I know, he may not even have seen our Grindr profiles. But it's been driving me crazy not knowing. If he really is wanting to try something with me and my boyfriend, that would be amazing, because we kinda have a crush on him anyway. XD But I can't just ask him, because if that's not the case then that could just make things a lot worse. I just don't know what the best thing to do in this situation is... Any advice? =p

*Ahem*

HOMEWRECKER ALERT!!!

Nothing wrong with two adults in a relationship wanting to include a third every now and then. But he keeps emphasizing the desire to be in a relationship while asking questions that imply that he's concerned about the stability of yours. This is telling.

From what you've said, it sounds to me like he's more interested in mounting you than the both of you. /bad attempt at furry humor.
 

LOL, that clip really had me in stitches, imagining a guy so.. starved

gengoroh tatame's stuff seems ridiculous
ly hot
. his profile is great, particularly his favourite things

Favourite things of Gengoroh Tagame
Bear
(But not teddy-bear, I love a Grizzly)
Bondage
(Chain, Rope, Strap...I love them all)
Cannibalism
(It's just a fantasy)
Castration
(It's just a fantasy)
Cattle
(A man who is used as an animal makes me so horny)
Despair
(This is a very important element for my SM story)
Discipline
(It's a necessary condition of SM)
Dog
(Dog collar is best clothing for a slave)
Fundoshi
(Japanese traditional underwear)
Gag
(I love Japanese traditional style using Tenugui)
Kura
(Japanese style dungeon)
Leather
(Sometimes I wear it)
Master
(I wish to become and I wish to serve)
Muscles
(This armor makes a victim good looking)
Penis
(Because I am a gay)
Piss
(A human toilet fantasy is one of my favorite)
Punishment
(Oh daddy !)
Shit
(A human toilet fantasy is one of my faborite)
Slaughter
(It's just fantasy)
Slave
(I wish to have and I wish to become)
Torture
(It's a greatest pornography for me)
Training
(This is necessary for a master)
Whip
(I love a cane and a belt, too)
 
My favourite artists are Mentaiko and Takeshi Matsu. I don't think I've ever read Gengoroh Tagame, but reading these posts, I think I know why.
 
For example, to those who don't know, this book he sent me (Oyako Jigoku - 父子地獄,Father and Son in Hell), is a about the samurai on the cover and his son who are held hostage by some sort of feudal lord, tied up, tortured, raped and forced to fuck each other. It's pretty cool actually, one of his tamer works.

Man, remind me to stay the fuck away from this stuff.
 
I just think Tagame's characters are very attractive, and not all of it's that crazy. Your mileage may vary of course.

One I read recently had a scene where a teacher peed on a student of his in a park and let him walk home all wet and peey if he wanted to see him (be fucked) again. And he really wanted to, so a pee-drenched walk home. He could take it. That taught him to let go of his pride, which is an important lesson for any young man. (They have this ongoing sado-masochistic affair, the teacher keeps him tied up naked under his desk atm)

I ..kinda thought it was touching! Now part of me might be joking.. but still. He writes good stuff, and it's got some kind of narrative flow going on too. It's not just sex scenes, it's got emotion, and that's too rare to ignore. (and damn, the guys he draws. auf.)
 
Okay, so I actually have something worth discussing with GayGAF here.

I'm in kind of an awkward situation, and I suppose I might need some advice. Basically, here's the story:

My boyfriend and I have accounts on Grindr, mainly just for the hell of it or to find new friends, but we're also kind of wanting to try an open relationship thing... Well, one of our gay friends just recently got an iPad. He's been downloading apps like crazy, and apparently that includes Grindr. He found my boyfriend on Grindr and sent him a message. This was really awkward, because he's a really close friend, and now he presumably knows that we're in an open relationship and possibly looking for a friend with benefits from our Grindr profiles. He's not the type of person who would want to do something like that anyway (though I have to admit we would not say no if he was up for it, lol), so I'm more concerned with him being scared off because of it or something. But whatever, nothing really seemed off when they were talking on Grindr, he pretty much just said "hey, I found you!" and asked what's up. So that's not really the issue here.

The awkward situation I'm talking about isn't with him, but with a friend of his (also a friend of ours). Moments after our friend with the iPad sent my boyfriend a message on Grindr, the other friend texted me, asking me what's up and saying that he was at the first friend's house. This made me even more nervous, because I figured that this other friend now knows everything, too. Okay, still kinda awkward, but no big deal, right? Well, I'm not so sure. It's odd that he randomly texted me out of the blue like that, because he rarely texts me to begin with. It's almost as if he was intrigued about what he presumably learned about me and my boyfriend and was texting me out of curiosity. I just responded normally, though I couldn't help but wonder if he was trying to hint something. This suspicion only got greater when we started texting more, as it really seemed like he was dropping hints.

First he tells me that he got a new tail (he's also a furry like me and my boyfriend) that "isn't public appropriate", which was kind of odd hearing him talk about so openly (though we have talked about similar things before, but not out of the blue like this). Then he mentions that he's been trying to find a boyfriend...and he comes back to this multiple times even after we start talking about something else. Then, after he already asked how I was earlier, he asked how me and my boyfriend are doing. He didn't just ask how my boyfriend was doing, he asked how we were doing. Maybe it's nothing, but it seemed like he was trying to get at something to me. And then he mentions trying to find a boyfriend again and how he can't find any furries to date, because all the other ones he's met except me and my boyfriend are just weird or not his type.

So...yeah. Maybe I'm just thinking about this too much. Maybe it's nothing, and he's not hinting anything at all. For all I know, he may not even have seen our Grindr profiles. But it's been driving me crazy not knowing. If he really is wanting to try something with me and my boyfriend, that would be amazing, because we kinda have a crush on him anyway. XD But I can't just ask him, because if that's not the case then that could just make things a lot worse. I just don't know what the best thing to do in this situation is... Any advice? =p

I think it'd be better to think less. If you keep thinking about what he (your friend) could have possibly thought, it's a neverending trip. Just try to understand the situation by asking him directly.
 
Ask him.

Yes, I know it could make things worse. But if you really really want to know, you're going have to take that risk. How else can you find out?

Hack into his e-mail or facebook? Violation of trust.

Ask one of his friends? It would get back to him.

Read his mind? Impossible and also a violation of trust.

No, ask him directly. If it's a no, hopefully your relationship is strong enough to repair any damage (if there's any). But if it's a yes, congrats. You have a new playmate.
I know that much. I was more or less asking for advice on whether or not I should ask him, and if so how. I'm also debating whether or not I should just ask the friend with the iPad if he showed him our Grindr profiles.

*Ahem*

HOMEWRECKER ALERT!!!

Nothing wrong with two adults in a relationship wanting to include a third every now and then. But he keeps emphasizing the desire to be in a relationship while asking questions that imply that he's concerned about the stability of yours. This is telling.

From what you've said, it sounds to me like he's more interested in mounting you than the both of you. /bad attempt at furry humor.
I really don't think he's concerned about the stability of our relationship. Maybe it could seem that way from how I explained it, but in the texts he was just asking how we are. It could be taken that way, of course, but I highly doubt it. All of our friends know how strong our relationship is. They tell us all the time that we're so perfect for each other, and this friend is no exception. I guess it's kind of hard to relate us to most other relationships, since our relationship is so unique, so you may not really understand our relationship and how others view it unless you knew us personally. It's hard for me to understand other "normal" relationships, too, because I just fell into this one. Anyway, we're not your typical gay couple.

And this friend isn't like that, anyway. He would never try to break us up. I suppose it's possible, if he's even interested at all, that he could be only interested in me, not my boyfriend, but I don't know. It kinda sounded like the opposite, because he was talking about both of us. But either way, my boyfriend would probably love it regardless. XD
 
If your boyfriend approves and you're not hiding the open relationship, then why not just ask outright that you guys are looking for a third? I don't think you need to make it overly complicated. Even I would feel flattered if I were ever approached with a similar proposition by my friends (though I'd never do it).
 
Question: Is it common for gay people to dislike or hold some sort of animosity towards bisexuals?
Very common. It's either because sometimes closet cases use it as a way to come out half way and alot of bisexual+gay relationships don't work I guess. There is also the fact that stupid people say they are bi because they think it's cool . And last but not least there is the fact that alot of people believe you should choose to like one or the other.
 
Question: Is it common for gay people to dislike or hold some sort of animosity towards bisexuals?

I wouldn't say it's common, but I've definitely come across elements of biphobic feeling in the community. Not necessarily outright animosity that often, but the peddling of old tropes like the idea that bi people are just greedy or they're too scared to admit being gay, which generally pisses off bi/pan people. The latter is annoyingly prevalent because I think the 'oh i'm not gay, i'm jut bi' phase is quite common when people are coming to terms with their sexuality and people often assume that all bi people are still stuck on that stage. I know I had a moment where I thought I was bi. Admittedly it lasted all of about a day before I realised that I was strictly dickly, but the point still stands.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom