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Girl Problem?

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S

Smidget

Member
So since about Feburary of this year I've been hanging out with this girl I actually met at a club (we went with the same group of friends but didn't know each other beforehand) and she has had a boyfriend since around then also. We're just like perfect best friends with each other, but of course, we developed feelings for each other (When Harry Met Sally is correct). It started like once a month or so we'd kiss/make out/whatever, and then it was every couple of weeks, and then every week, then finally got down to every other time we saw each other. She even came for like 3 or so days twice over summer and slept over.

She decided this was bad and we kept taking little breaks at being friends because she knew this was wrong, but I knew she really liked me anyways, but after pleading she still did it. And everytime we saw each other for the first time we had some fun and just fell back into the same relapse.

After about 7? months of this, I have no idea what changed but last week she was over and we were watching Sopranos and after the episode ends she's like "I'm going to break up with him and go out with you."

I mean I'm completely estatic, she's everything I ever wanted in a girl, she's beautiful, she's hilarious (the same exact sense of morbid/sarcastic humor as me), she's a bitch but really sweet at heart, just her morals and ideas about religion/politics/life are just almost mirror images of mine, her movie likes (minus Amelie) are great, her music selection could be worked on ;), but blah I'm gushing. She broke up with him tonight and I told her "however long you need before you get back on the dating wagon, I'll wait for you."

And I'm just so :D but .... I guess the whole point of this thread is to ask... should I be worried about her cheating on me? I mean she's done it before, but from what she always told me and from what I observed, she just didn't aim too high with this last guy. She always told me she settled. But is she just like trying to wrap me around her finger (I'm already there)? I guess trust is kinda an important part of a relationship ;), and if I can't from the start that's a problem, but it's just because of my situation that I think that way. But she has always told me that she's never met anyone like me... so I'm just lost. I mean I'm not gonna say "No I don't want to date you" I just kinda wanna know what people with more experience think (not really sure why I'm asking on here ;)).

Sorry for this long ass post, but it's 1:16 and I have a 7:30 am class... joy.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Richiban said:
A
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applause%203.jpg
 
A

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
And so comes this thread's dramatic conclusion. Man, that was great, guys. Let's do it again soon.
 
D

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Now wouldn't it be great if the thread were locked?
her movie likes (minus Amelie) are great,
Click to expand...
dude, wtf? That's a great movie.
 
S

Smidget

Member
Well the "Yes" replies are disheartening but I mean I guess it makes complete sense. What's going to stop her with me? And for the "hit it" I most definitely plan on continuing the hitting but she's really something special to me... sigh. I guess I'll just take it as it comes and run with it and hope for the best. Oh GA. Home of the teh funny and teh cocky.
 
A

AlphaSnake

...and that, kids, was the first time I sucked a dick for crack
Go out with her, but don't fall for her. Expect the worst. If the worst doesn't come months from now, then you can devote more of your feelings to her. I read a statistic somewhere that said most women will cheat during the first 3-4 months of a dating relationship.
 
F

Freestyler

Member
Who the fuck cares if she cheats on you? Everyone's allowed one mistake. If it happens, just let her know that it's a 'first and last time' kinda thing, and if she does it again she's outta there.

You gotta date her, else you'll always be wondering 'what if'..
 
I

Incognito

Troll
Freestyler said:
Who the fuck cares if she cheats on you? Everyone's allowed one mistake. If it happens, just let her know that it's a 'first and last time' kinda thing, and if she does it again she's outta there.

You gotta date her, else you'll always be wondering 'what if'..
Click to expand...

fo sho

and aren't you guys just so cool for continuing the shitty FHUTA trend!
 
A

aoi tsuki

Member
Freestyler said:
Who the fuck cares if she cheats on you? Everyone's allowed one mistake. If it happens, just fuck one of her hot friends. Or all of them. Even the not hot ones. UTA. Then you'll be even.

You gotta date her, else you'll always be wondering 'what if'..
Click to expand...
Fixed.
 
L

Leon

Junior Member
The "yes" replies are bullshit.

Once you're with her, all you need to do is develop the trust between the both of you that obviously wasn't there between her and her last boyfriend. You're the ones who are going to dictate whether she might cheat on you or not. If you stay insecure about it and it eventually shows, she probably will. If you try to get the upper hand on the relationship, and you sound confident enough to do that, then you won't have to worry about it. A girl cheating on a guy doesn't mean she'll cheat on every single guy she'll be with. It simply means she wasn't satisfied with the guy she was with at that time.

Further, there's 2 kinds of cheating. There's the slutty cheating, where it's intentional, short-lived, inconsiderate of the bf's feelings, and is done regularly. And there's the "understandable" cheating, where it is done with one guy, and feelings are developed towards that guy. If you're scared that she might cheat on you, try to at least make her understand that if she ever thinks about it and/or she does it, you would MUCH RATHER know than be left in the dark. It worked for me, and trust me, although it still hurts, it is extremely better that way.

If I were you, I would've asked her to end her relationship before the cheating dragged on for so long, but that's just me.

PS : By the way, you will end up with her regardless of the answer to that question. So you will have to deal with that question yourself. The only good advice that one can give is to deal with that worry the best way possible. It's easy to lose yourself in "what if" scenarios. Don't make the mistake of letting it rule the relationship and how you feel towards her. At the same time, never ignore the possibility of it happening. Anyway, the more time you'll spend with her, the clearer your answer will become. Whether that answer is good or bad depends on fate, I guess.
 
P

Pochacco

asking dangerous questions
Who cares - if she cheats on you, then the guy she cheats on will be as happy as you were when she cheated with you.
Sorry, I hope things work out - but I don't have much sympathy for a guy who was "the other guy".



...and, one more time guys!
letter_f.jpg
 
K

kevm3

Member
Unless you can really get in her mind, then YES, she will cheat on you down the line. Unless this guy was a complete lame, then she has no reason to did what she did (and that begs the question of what she was doing with him in the first place), and what makes you think you'll escape the fate? If she's been doing that shit on her other boyfriend with you for like 7 months, it's not a one time ordeal. She seems the type to let shit linger around before handling the situation. OK, she didn't really care for the other guy and he's a throwaway, but she doesn't break up with him until kissing and sleeping over at your house for a while. Once she starts getting bored with you, and boredom for females will almost ALWAYS happen in a relationship, then don't be surprised if she becomes hard to contact and is 'sleeping over at her girl's' house more and more. If she sees another guy she likes, she'll upgrade on your ass as well.
 
S

sefskillz

shitting in the alley outside your window
Don't be fooled by that "we shouldn't be doing this" bullshit, as you experienced when you guys started messing around, it's always bullshit. I believe that monogamy is a moral based characteristic of a person more than anything else. I don't cheat because I couldn't imagine myself doing that to someone I cared about, and if I'm doing it because I don't care about them, why am I dating them in the first place?

I'm not telling you to drop her, I say go for it. I'd tell you to be careful, but it's too late for that. Finally, don't ever mention any of this to her, doubting her faithfulness etc.... seriously.
 
J

jecclr2003

Banned
Eh.. I wouldn't worry about it too much. I met my wife while she was dating someone else. I showed her how a man was supposed to treat a woman and she ended up dating me.

Now granted we've has some bumps n the road here and there, but everything is great to this day. We dated for about 8 years then got married last year. Not once have I ever felt a need not to trust her.

It's all about communication, if you can communicate your fears with her and let her know that it bothers you at least that's out there and on the table. If she really does care about you, she'll respect that. It shows you want to be with her and value her being around.

It's also good you two share alot in common, that's always a great thing to have. I never thought anyone would get my sense of humor the way my wife does. I can always make her laugh and it seems her sense of humor has reflected that. Hell, shes as much of a goofball as I am.

I wish you two the best of luck, and make it work. Even if it takes some yelling and screaming to get trhough something, make it work. You'll both be better off for it.
 
B

Bogeyker

Banned
It all depends on how she was brought up as a child. Was she ever neglected? Was the family bond so tight that she could be trusted because she was showered with love and shown loving acts by her parents? These are all variables that must enter the equation before you can move forward and slay the demon that might reside in this beautiful young girl.
 
B

Boogie

Member
Bogeyker said:
It all depends on how she was brought up as a child. Was she ever neglected? Was the family bond so tight that she could be trusted because she was showered with love and shown loving acts by her parents? These are all variables that must enter the equation before you can move forward and slay the demon that might reside in this beautiful young girl.
Click to expand...

Oh, you're so clever, aren't you? :p

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N

Neo_ZX

Member
Depending on how open you two are, I still predict at least a 70% probability of cheating. Especially if she did it while she was with someone else. You'll both learn your lesson soon enough.
 
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