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[StoOgE]

Ok, I have a problem there is a sort of new girl at work who wont leave me alone. She isnt altogether bad looking but I dont dip my pen in the company ink, nothing good can come of this. In any case everyone at work went out for a happy hour and she got pretty drunk and was hanging all over me.

Problem is she keeps calling me wanting to go out to dinner and now she wants me to go to a concert with her in San Antonio..

in any case I need a way to get rid of her without making her mad or being a total ass because I have to work with her for at least the next 6 months. Its even harder because she is on the debate team (I debated in high school), she reads philosophy, plays video games and watches adult swim.. I really wish I hadnt met her at work Im really not so much trying to run her off because I dont want her, Im trying to run her off because I do want her and shouldnt have her if that makes sense.

 

[Beezy]

FHUTA!

Someone had to do it.

 

[Stryder]

I'd go for her, 6 months isn't that long if things turn sour

 

[BuddyC]

The only way to subdue the cocky and funny bug is to either a) start acting emo or b) go so extreme that they lose interest. Both are hard.

The other alternative is to bluntly tell her what you just told us and see what happens from there.

 

[bogg]

So you met a girl that you like, she's all over you, but you dont want to date her because you work together? Why dont you give it a try?
In other words, JUST IT HIT!

 

[bionic77]

I would go for it. Sounds like you really dig her, don't throw that away. It might end up real bad and fuck up your work environment, but you always have to take some chances in life.

 

[bishoptl]

IBWK (In Before WasabiKing)

Don't shit where you eat. Period.

 

[StoOgE]

The other alternative is to bluntly tell her what you just told us and see what happens from there.

I've thought about this option too, because 6 months from now if/when I leave my job there wouldnt be anything to keep us from going out... but Im a loser and not the type of guy capable of pulling off that type of move.

 

[aku:jiki]

Principles are fucking stupid. Just date her already. Don't worry, be happy.

 

[BuddyC]

Don't shit where you eat. Period.

Listen to this man.

 

[Cubsfan23]

"Let's be friends"

and yeah, don't shit where you eat. She'll end up quitting soon anyway, probably

 

[kumanoki]

Perhaps before FingHUTA you should just talk to her about it. Up front. At work, even. Make it as professional as possible. Tell her your reasons, and then be done with it. Don't lead her on with 'you're my type, but...' or 'you're a nice girl and I'd date you if we didn't work together', because women tend to cling to that as hope that you'll change your mind. BE PROFESSIONAL. If she still hangs all over you and bothers you and shit, then you can drop an elbow on her.

No good ever comes of workplace relationships.

EDIT: Some good comes of workplace relationships. Like endlessly entertaining your co-workers by providing a non-stop gossip machine.

 

[Cloudy]

If I met a girl I liked at work and she was also clearly interested, I wouldn't give a fuck about "company ink". Thankfully (or not), the chicks in my dept. are not my type AT ALL!!! >_<

 

[bionic77]

No good ever comes of workplace relationships.

I think that is too big of a generalization. A lot of it depends on where you work and how closely you work together. If this is some huge firm and he almost never sees her, I don't think it is that big of a deal. Now if this is someone who works right next to them, then I would urge a lot more caution.

 

[BuddyC]

No good ever comes of workplace relationships.

I don't know if I'd say that. A few of my coworkers date, and they provide endless comedy material and popcorn gossip for everyone else.

Oh food service, will your amusement never cease?

 

[Cimarron]

Don't do it man! I've been there and the shit stinks to high heaven.

 

[Fresh Prince]

I'd go for her, 6 months isn't that long if things turn sour

IAWTP. You said it yourself you'd go for her if you didn't meet her at work, just take it slow. It seems she isn't really bothered by the fact that you work with her- so why let it bother you?

 

[StoOgE]

Dont worry Ive had a workplace relationship go bad, very very bad. I quit because it became so unbearable. So dating her now isnt an option, the only thing I might to is befriend her now and hope I can sneak out of the friend zone come May.

 

[Cloudy]

I've know several folks who met at work and ended up getting married (and some still work at the same place). As long as you're not making unwanted advances and act professionally while at work, I don't really see the problem....

 

[firebricks3]

I think it depends on how much you see her during your typical workday.
My girlfriend and I ended up working at the same place, with the same boss, but since we worked in totally different parts of the building, no one cared.

 

[Ecrofirt]

let me tel you a little story about a crazy woman and the drunk co-worker she fucked one night.

So my girlfriend works at a pet store, and she's got a male co-worker named Josh who's 21, and a female co-worker named Kristi that's in her mid 30's.

the weekend before my girlfriend started worknig there, all the workers went to Chilis for a few drinks, and Josh got trashed. Kristi, being the 'nice' woman, took him home to her house because he was in no shape to drive.

Around the middle of the week, Kristi started saying that she had sex with Josh when she brought him home. Josh has a girlfriend, and he denied it, so she started gonig crazy. She said that he got her pregnant (mind you, this was around 4 days after he supposedly fucked her), and that she had 4 eggs fertilized, something she learned giving herself an ultrasound. The next day the crazy bitch came in and said two of the eggs died the night before, and she and Josh were meant to be together, totally fucking up the working place.

By friday, she said she was going to abort the other eggs, and that she had bad stomach pain, which ended up forcing my girlfriend to drive this lady's immobile ass to the hospital. When she came into work the next day, she was supposed to have the doctor's slip with her. The slip had some diagnosis written on it by the doctor, but she scribbled it out and wrote 'miscarriage' on it. They fired her ass.

In conclusion, don't fuck your co-workers.

 

[Kabuki Waq]

punch her in the shoulder and then say "wow you are just like my little sister"

 

[bishoptl]

holy hell that story rocked :lol

 

[fallout]

cocky/funny has backfired.

Heh, first mistake right there... always seems to make them want more.

Anyway, I agree that telling her what you told us is the best course of action. Whether it's your real reason or not (as she may or may not believe you), it's understandable and it won't make you look like a big asshole... or at least, less of an asshole than saying "Bitch, you ugly."

If she gets pissed off at you over it, so be it. You didn't do anything wrong.

As for the work relationships thing not working ... having to see that person every.single.day really sucks if it goes sour, trust me. I've seen it happen with bad blood and I've seen it result in just weird awkwardness, but rarely does it finish with "Oh well, we tried!" with a hearty pat on the back.

 

[kumanoki]

let me tel you a little story abotu a crazy woman and the drunk co-worker she ------ one night.

So my girlfriend works at a pet store, and she's got a male co-worker named Josh who's 21, and a female co-worker named Kristi that's in her mid 30's.

the weekend before my girlfriend started worknig there, all the workers went to Chilis for a few drinks, and Josh got trashed. Kristi, being the 'nice' woman, took him home to her house because he was in no shape to drive.

Around the middle of the week, Kristi started saying that she had sex with Josh when she brought him home. Josh has a girlfriend, and he denied it, so she started gonig crazy. She said that he got her pregnant (mind you, this was around 4 days after he supposedly ------ her), and that she had 4 eggs fertilized, something she learned giving herself an ultrasound. The next day the crazy bitch came in and said two of the eggs died the night before, and she and Josh were meant to be together, totally ------- up the working place.

By friday, she said she was going to abort the other eggs, and that she had bad stomach pain, which ended up forcing my girlfriend to drive this lady's immobile ass to the hospital. When she came into work the next day, she was supposed to have the doctor's slip with her. The slip had some diagnosis written on it by the doctor, but she scribbled it out and wrote 'miscarriage' on it. They fired her ass.

In conclusion, don't ---- your co-workers.

I stand by my previous comment. The stories are too numerous (although not always as entertaining as this one) to count.

 

[Bob White]

When she came into work the next day, she was supposed to have the doctor's slip with her. The slip had some diagnosis written on it by the doctor, but she scribbled it out and wrote 'miscarriage' on it

:lol

That lady wasn't crazy, she was a comedy genius!

 

[StoOgE]

punch her in the shoulder and then say "wow you are just like my little sister"

damn, you are a smart smart man.

 

[iapetus]

Simple, just give her my number. I mean, I don't work there, do I?

 

[Deleted member 1235]

you could offer her drugs.

If she goes for it though, you're double fucked.

 

[Lhadatt]

The original poster already has this point, but some of you haven't seemed to caught on:

No workplace dating. Ever.

I would tell her to chill out. If she can wait for the next 6 months or however long you're working together, great. If not, then she'll have to settle for friends. Just be direct, it doesn't pay to avoid the issue or explain things any differently.

 

[The Shadow]

No workplace dating. Ever.

I've done it without serious repercussions.


I wouldn't recommend it because of the risks but seriously, if it's a very casual relationship and you know the woman isn't a psycho, why the hell not? I'm kinda sick of people saying it's not possible when I myself know it's possible.

To original poster:

Screw made-up excuses, I'd just talk to her. Some women won't take the hint and I've had some where I've given excuse after excuse and they still cling on, sometimes even getting more persistant. Just tell her why you don't want to date her, that you feel it wouldn't be appropriate because you work together.

 

[Vormund]

Could you just get her to wait 6 months?

 

[dskillzhtown]

This is what I would do. I would talk to my manager about it, just to let him know. That is if you and your manager are cool like that. That is just to let him/her what is going on. Then I would tell the girl your concerns. There is nothing wrong with being friends with a chick at work. I do agree that the dipping the pen in company ink can end VERY badly. But I think that you totally dissing her can make the situation really bad also.

Lastly, it totally depends on where you work if the pen dipping will end badly. Where I work now, I could hit a manager, and another co-worker and nothing would come out of it because things are so relaxed and casualy here. Plus there is a long history of that kind of things going on. Where I was before, it would have ended VERY badly. I say go for it. It will make for some really entertaining threads regardless of what happens.

 

[Pimpwerx]

It is awkward if something goes wrong, but you have to consider other things too. Maybe you don't give a shit if things turn sour. For me, there are some situations where it's fine, like if it's someone you don't mind ignoring, and who you don't think will be badmouthing you behind your back. She's interested in you, that alleviates some of the guilt and commitment IMO. I mean, when you think about it, LOTS of people fuck around with their coworkers. If it was so bad, they wouldn't do it. Go ahead, jump on the grenade. Take pics and post them to the web. PEACE.

 

[iapetus]

Tell her if she really loves you she'd quit her job.

If she does, then she's far too clingy-obsessive. Dump her at once.

 

[Dilbert]

Since virtually all of your relationships will end at some point, and many end badly, dating at work USUALLY ends up on the wrong side of the risk-versus-reward tradeoff. With that being said, there are some cases where it CAN work out:

1) You don't care about the job, and wouldn't mind leaving if all hell breaks loose.

2) You know for a FACT that either/both you and her are leaving at some specified time (summer internship, etc.), which limits the amount of hell you have to go through if things go badly. However, your co-workers may continue to gossip, even after the situation is over.

3) The relationship ends up being so superficial that no strong negative feelings are generated when you break up, and you both manage to keep the relationship secret from your co-workers.

4) She ends up being "the one."

It sounds like in your case that there is a possibility that #2 might apply, so I wouldn't necessarily blow it off a priori. Still...the chances are that you're playing with fire.

The first thing you need to do is to CLEARLY understand what you want. If you're into this girl, but putting up a wall because you're at work, that's one thing...if you're not that interested in her EXCEPT that it would be easy money, that's another. If it's the latter case, make it clear that you're not interested in her, period.

If it's the former, though, you might want to tell her what's really going on and see what she says. Since she's new, she may not understand why dating at your job is a bad idea...or, she might be able to talk you into taking a risk on her since you want her too.

By the way -- philosophy AND videogames? If's she's even tepidly warm, that's damn attractive. If she's a looker, you're probably doomed.

 

[Dilbert]

Tell her if she really loves you she'd quit her job.

If she does, then she's far too clingy-obsessive. Dump her at once.

:lol

 

[Trakball]

you got the right weekend, but you're in the wrong season

 

[Soybean]

I've been dating someone at work for over a year and I will probably marry this girl.

But to be fair, I had the same apprehension. Things could easily get bad. But if you're on different projects it's not such a big deal.

As for me, everyone in the office pretty much knows where together at this point. We're both good employees, though, so nobody cares. We're not the first employees at our company to date.

 

[Azih]

Its even harder because she is on the debate team (I debated in high school), she reads philosophy, plays video games and watches adult swim

Dude what the hell?

 

[StoOgE]

Dude what the hell?

?

 

[Cubsfan23]

A heads up for everybody, it is now called Cocky Comedy

 

[StoOgE]

A heads up for everybody, it is now called Cocky Comedy

this is all your fault you son of a bitch. I cant help but be cocky/funny with any women I meet just for the pure comic value of your advice.. and now its working

 

[Cubsfan23]

 

[Boogie]

It is a cruel world where those who don't want to attract women can't escape their attention, and those who do can't get their attention

 

[The Shadow]

It is a cruel world where those who don't want to attract women can't escape their attention

That's never the problem.

It's that you don't want to attract the wrong women and that's seemingly all that you attract.

For me, it seems like older married women and gay men seem to dig me.

 

[Willco]

I agree, never date at work. I've had one nightmare of a relationship that has been documented on old skool GAF about this. The shockwaves of the aftermath are still felt in my workplace today.

 

[Cubsfan23]

It is a cruel world where those who don't want to attract women can't escape their attention, and those who do can't get their attention

you're just now figuring this out? ;P

 

[Boogie]

you're just now figuring this out? ;P

No, but I feel like I have a duty to post such cynical comments.

I feel like I'm turning myself into a joke character or something

 

[bishoptl]

Go ahead, jump on the grenade.

:lol You kill me, man.

For me, it seems like older married women and gay men seem to dig me.

Preach on brother. Preach on.