How Do You Feel About Fat People?
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abstract alien
Member
Does anyone here who isn't overweight ever routinely ask their friends about losing a few pounds or just being healthier in general? I will once, but that's usually it. After that, I won't say anything ever again unless it starts becoming an increasing problem they may not notice.
It's a massively complicated health issue where a lot of factors come into play. Genetics, personality, lifestyle, abundance of cheap shitty food. I hate it when I'm out of shape, but sometimes it's because my work keeps me too busy to eat well and exercise regularly. I don't really begrudge fat people for being fat for that reason, but what upsets me is when they pass on those habits to their kids. There are children now who can't even identify vegetables anymore and only consume horrible carb loaded foods because that's what their parents buy and that pisses me off far more than any fat person.
abstract alien
Member
That last bit is tough. Stay strong and don't let up.
I don't just cuz when I was fat it made me feel worse for some reason.
a Master Ninja
Member
I've lived in the Midwest long enough to not even notice "fat people". I'll shamefully admit to looking down on "obese people" on occasion. I remember witnessing a woman throwing a tantrum and threatening to sue because she was too large to fit through the doors at Target. I guess I should have felt pity but at the time I felt disgust.
I'll also admit that I fear the "normalizing" of obesity in our society. People are starting to forget it was never like this for humanity until the past few decades. This is a recent, modern problem. I guess it's easier to just make seats bigger than to actually address it.
I'll also admit that I fear the "normalizing" of obesity in our society. People are starting to forget it was never like this for humanity until the past few decades. This is a recent, modern problem. I guess it's easier to just make seats bigger than to actually address it.
I only have one downright obese friend, and to be honest I don't feel like touching the topic. I fear he might see it as an aggression when I just want him to feel better about himself :/ And I think this because he's incredibly shy and doesn't enjoy meeting people and other traits I think come from his self image issues.
Kai Dracon
Writing a dinosaur space opera symphony
"Tough love" is the greatest lie ever invented by mankind, or at least in the top ten. What else lets you enjoy lashing out like a brutal asshole while telling yourself you're being a hero in doing so?
Anyway, fat people are people. Stereotyping an entire group based on one attribute is pretty much unsupportable and unethical.
Remarking on quotes in the OP, I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of people in America are actually uncomfortable about overweight persons because they're a reminder of a lot of things. I've seen more than one "fat shamer" admit fat people make them paranoid about their own lazy lifestyle as just another internet surfer. Some people say fat people are more accepted today than in the past, but I don't think that's exactly right.
The standards for what is considered greatly overweight have changed due to the rate of overweight persons going up. People are more "accepted" due to blending in now. However people who are intolerant, uncomfortable, and offended by other people's appearance are becoming shrill asses about it - probably as escalation due to America's weight problem, but the point stands.
One of my best and real smart friends is catastrophically mired in issues caused by his obesity. It's a vicious cycle of poor health, self-loathing, and inaction with him (he's also trouble by a lot of family issues). I bug him constantly and suggest that he take the steps, and he seems to be more and more receptive about doing something, but at this point his only option seems to be surgery, which opens up an entire can of worms altogether.
So yeah, if they're worth it, you try.
I'd rather not sit next to a fat person on a plane. Or in a movie theater. Or in an elevator. Or on the bus. Or basically anywhere in which their mass would encroach upon my comfort zone. Worse if they smell, and I've been to enough nerdy conventions to recognize that particular fat-sweat scent.
Otherwise, I don't give a shit. Some of them don't have a choice. I can sympathize.
Otherwise, I don't give a shit. Some of them don't have a choice. I can sympathize.
AlteredBeast
Fork 'em, Sparky!
Yeah, the acceptance of obesity is a cancer on society.
Doesn't mean we should hate the people, themselves.
Doesn't mean we should hate the people, themselves.
Horseticuffs
Full werewolf off the buckle
I used to be severely morbidly obese as recently as a year ago. Almost 400 lbs. Now I'm at 187 and dropping quick due to learning about basic nutrition and leading an active lifestyle.
I'll be honest in that it's like I'm living in a whole new world with a whole new body. All sorts of things I could never do before or WOULD never do before are now open to me and it's truly amazing. I feel really bad for people who haven't had that big, important moment that changes them yet. That moment where it all finally clicks and they decide they can't live that life anymore.
People come up to me a lot and ask me my secret and, while it's just common sense once you have ears to hear it, I tell them quite happily. But of all the large people who talk to me, they just throw their hands up and say something like "Boy howdy, I'd love to lose weight too! You must have an iron will." and they don't ever really get back to me with news of progress.
The whole community in my small town has been really supportive and I'd like to return the favor to others who want to empower themselves and maybe need some encouragement but they don't seem too interested besides a vague wish they would somehow lose weight.
So, even though I'm currently still a fat dude I'm becoming increasingly perplexed by their lip-service to wanting change but not actually starting to change. I know that most fat folks have it in them to change when they really want to. I just sort of had a dormant dream of not being fat my whole life, and it wasn't until some stuff happened to me where my survival instinct kicked in and my natural cowardice took over that everything clicked and I found myself in a situation where failure literally wasn't an option.
So, yeah, fat people inspire empathy, sadness, and frustration in me. I'd love to introduce other people to this whole other facet of reality where you can do shit that people who've been thin their whole lives take for granted, and the lack of giving a shit kinda kills my soul a lil' bit :/
EDIT: I should say this is just like fellow fatties who ask my advice or whatever. I'm not some dick who's forgotten where he was a year ago.
I've quite handily avoided this issue by being antisocial! Trying to fix that though.
I'll be honest in that it's like I'm living in a whole new world with a whole new body. All sorts of things I could never do before or WOULD never do before are now open to me and it's truly amazing. I feel really bad for people who haven't had that big, important moment that changes them yet. That moment where it all finally clicks and they decide they can't live that life anymore.
People come up to me a lot and ask me my secret and, while it's just common sense once you have ears to hear it, I tell them quite happily. But of all the large people who talk to me, they just throw their hands up and say something like "Boy howdy, I'd love to lose weight too! You must have an iron will." and they don't ever really get back to me with news of progress.
The whole community in my small town has been really supportive and I'd like to return the favor to others who want to empower themselves and maybe need some encouragement but they don't seem too interested besides a vague wish they would somehow lose weight.
So, even though I'm currently still a fat dude I'm becoming increasingly perplexed by their lip-service to wanting change but not actually starting to change. I know that most fat folks have it in them to change when they really want to. I just sort of had a dormant dream of not being fat my whole life, and it wasn't until some stuff happened to me where my survival instinct kicked in and my natural cowardice took over that everything clicked and I found myself in a situation where failure literally wasn't an option.
So, yeah, fat people inspire empathy, sadness, and frustration in me. I'd love to introduce other people to this whole other facet of reality where you can do shit that people who've been thin their whole lives take for granted, and the lack of giving a shit kinda kills my soul a lil' bit :/
EDIT: I should say this is just like fellow fatties who ask my advice or whatever. I'm not some dick who's forgotten where he was a year ago.
I've quite handily avoided this issue by being antisocial! Trying to fix that though.
Disgust was the right reaction.
It's 'unfair' that short people light myself have to have considerable lower body fat percentage to look ripped compared to a large person.
TAJ
Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.
You mean because of how much more difficult it is for tall people to get fat?
You strike me as someone whom I'm talking about who's got the right attitude. "Yeah, I'm overweight. So?" I've been overweight at times too (and technically am now, but I'm also 40 and married and don't really give much of a fuck), and most times it was what I thought everyone was thinking that frustrated me. The actual instances of people treating me poorly could probably be counted on one hand, but I'd just think everyone was whispering shit and get squirrely because of it. A self-defeating behavior people (not just fat people) would do better to rise above.
BocoDragon
or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Realize This Assgrab is Delicious
Oh absolutely.
I remember being a fat youngster and people would tease me about it, and then rationalize it by saying "oh, this will encourage him to get thin".
Like, are you fucking kidding me? I knew I was fat. I already hated it. The day you teased me about it, I wanted to die. And I wanted to eat.
When I did get thin through diet and exercise, it was from a position of self-confidence, not a position of sad, shamed desperation.
Verbal Intercourse
Banned
I try not to judge them as appearance is a shit way to assess someone's character. I use to be overweight from ages 7 - 14 and it sucked being an easy target. I was lucky I eventually got the education I needed to eat better, but I can't fault people for a lack of time, money, education, and other needed resources.
@those saying 20% can't control it is not true
the NPR broadcast wasn't talking about morbid obesity. It was just talking about people who are overweight.
Factor in genetics, eating disorders, various diseases, injuries/problems that prevent excerise, ect and I found the the ~20% number is pretty accurate from my admittedly anecdotal evidence of seeing people in my daily life.
~20% isn't that high when you think about it. It means that many of you can still hate on 8/10 fat people you see. Those are betting odds if I've ever seen them.
The broadcast also mentioned that those 20% included people who exercise and that they can be perfectly healthy and live long lives even though they look overweight. An overweight person who exercises will be more healthy then a skinny person who does nothing.
agreed.
the NPR broadcast wasn't talking about morbid obesity. It was just talking about people who are overweight.
Factor in genetics, eating disorders, various diseases, injuries/problems that prevent excerise, ect and I found the the ~20% number is pretty accurate from my admittedly anecdotal evidence of seeing people in my daily life.
~20% isn't that high when you think about it. It means that many of you can still hate on 8/10 fat people you see. Those are betting odds if I've ever seen them.
The broadcast also mentioned that those 20% included people who exercise and that they can be perfectly healthy and live long lives even though they look overweight. An overweight person who exercises will be more healthy then a skinny person who does nothing.
agreed.
Thanks, I recently felt a surge of inspiration 2 weeks ago(coincidentally when Finals week ended!) and have been hitting the gym like crazy. This is also the first time I've managed to last more than a week in ketosis, so I'm hopeful to see some changes by this fall.
AllIsOneIsNone
Banned
I cant agree that they dont have a choice. Food addiction and bad dietary habits is as real as a cigarette addiction, but there's always a choice to go outside and get a little exercise, even if its going on a couple mile walk every day. And you don't have to get the 3000 calorie burger, you can always get chicken and veggies from the grocery stores.
Genetics may play a part in how easy it is to gain weight, but everybody burns calories and can change the rate at which they do, and can be generally aware of how many calories they're consuming. Its as easy as looking at the box of food you're about to eat.
Warm Machine
Member
I was a lean kid up until around 12 or 13 when I was suddenly filled to the brim with chocolate and ice cream via my grandmother. I'd consume potato chips and candy all the damn time. I probably gained about 45 pounds more than my default weight.
So from 12 to 26, 14 terrible years I was overweight. It also wasn't like I was completely inactive. I'd ride my bike, swim, ski, etc but not enough to make a dent. The shitty thing is those years are arguably the most important for any young man and I fucking blew them being a fatty.
When I turned 27 I weighed 155 lbs, with about 15% bodyfat. Got there with food education and non stop exercise. That weight is below my default for my height and build and I was pretty muscular too.
When I look at any young person between 12 and 26 and they are heavy I just feel so bad for them. I see it as them being put in the unfortunate situation of burning the best most free time of their lives and once it is gone it is impossible to get back.
People can be fat or obese or whatever but it only bothers me when it is the young. Old people slide due to work or children or what have you. Ideally it doesn't happen but I know myself that I've put a good deal of weight back on due to those responsibilities that I'm determined to lose again.
I'm going to do whatever I can to be sure my kids remain as healthy as possible the years when I wasn't.
So from 12 to 26, 14 terrible years I was overweight. It also wasn't like I was completely inactive. I'd ride my bike, swim, ski, etc but not enough to make a dent. The shitty thing is those years are arguably the most important for any young man and I fucking blew them being a fatty.
When I turned 27 I weighed 155 lbs, with about 15% bodyfat. Got there with food education and non stop exercise. That weight is below my default for my height and build and I was pretty muscular too.
When I look at any young person between 12 and 26 and they are heavy I just feel so bad for them. I see it as them being put in the unfortunate situation of burning the best most free time of their lives and once it is gone it is impossible to get back.
People can be fat or obese or whatever but it only bothers me when it is the young. Old people slide due to work or children or what have you. Ideally it doesn't happen but I know myself that I've put a good deal of weight back on due to those responsibilities that I'm determined to lose again.
I'm going to do whatever I can to be sure my kids remain as healthy as possible the years when I wasn't.
Freezie KO
Banned
I'm not attracted to them, and I do feel unwarranted anger when I get seated next to one on an airplane.
On the other hand, I feel bad for them. It could be genetics, in which case they have it even rougher than I do.
On the other hand, I feel bad for them. It could be genetics, in which case they have it even rougher than I do.
JasonUresti
Member
Genetics might make you gain weight more easily, or stay 10-20lbs heavier than the average person would with the same activity level, but they don't make you 80lbs overweight or keep you from exercising.
Douglas Quaid
Member
Morbid obesity usually reflects some sort of underlying mental problem and usually lack of self-awareness. They aren't bad people and shouldn't be ridiculed, but their life choices should not be condoned and supported.
All the time because I care and I want my friends to be the best that they can be.
I guess some of them either don't care or don't know any better. I remember watching this video of a morbidly obese woman making the most disgusting macaroni salad on youtube a few years back and just being absolutely stunned by it. I couldn't understand how she could continue to eat that kind of food and be okay with her situation.
Illithid Dude
Member
I only dislike them if they are fat not due to any biological issue, but because of sheer laziness.
cutmeamango
Banned
The same I feel about slim people, and japaneses. Nothing.
Fat people who complain about being fat should stop being fat.
Fat people who stink and sweat of fat should stop being fat.
Fat people who have health issues because they are too fat should stop being fat.
Fat people who are happy with being fat and all the risks and stinks included should continue being fat until they decide to stop being fat.
How do you stop being fat? Stop eating like animals and start doing excercise.
My mexican friend has started to get pretty fat recently, and he does nothing to help himself about it even though he's jealous im thin.
Epic fat person: Fat Bastard. Never be that fat.
Fat people who stink and sweat of fat should stop being fat.
Fat people who have health issues because they are too fat should stop being fat.
Fat people who are happy with being fat and all the risks and stinks included should continue being fat until they decide to stop being fat.
How do you stop being fat? Stop eating like animals and start doing excercise.
My mexican friend has started to get pretty fat recently, and he does nothing to help himself about it even though he's jealous im thin.
Epic fat person: Fat Bastard. Never be that fat.
How can you tell? Do they give off a certain stench.
Cantstandya
Neo Member
Yup, same for me. I was obese since early childhood up to age 32 and it was a positive stimulant (in my case a small burst of self-confidence from a successful business venture) that made me drop weight from 150+ kg to around 80-ish kg , all the teasing and "tough-love" just made me a become a complete recluse.
I feel nothing. They're people. It is not always simple laziness that causes someone to be overweight, so I generally treat them like I would treat any other decent human being and stay out of their business.
Yep. Some of the "encouragement" people talk about is hilarious and usually does absolutely nothing to motivate people. I was pretty chubby in high school (not morbidly obese, but definitely overweight) and ended up thinning out through a better diet and sports. But I did it on my own accord after hyping myself up to get healthy. Someone else prodding me to get thin would not have helped at all.
I have a similar solution for drug addicts and alcoholics!
This, unless your slamming into people on an airplane or bus, I could care less.
Bam Bam Baklava
Member
I have sympathy for fat people when they are unhappy with their fatness but changing is hard work. Not many can pull it off. If a person is fat and truly happy then I'm cool with it too.
Blood Diamonds
Banned
WEELLLLL... As an obese 15 year old that is 6'1 and 265 Lbs. I don't know what to say.
I think I would say we should try to exercise more, and less eat shit.
Tho, I've been lifting weights and eating a lot less shit lately. Now that I think about it I don't actually know much fat people and nobody says anything to me because I don't fucking say anything to them.
I think I would say we should try to exercise more, and less eat shit.
Tho, I've been lifting weights and eating a lot less shit lately. Now that I think about it I don't actually know much fat people and nobody says anything to me because I don't fucking say anything to them.
AdventureRacing
Member
I do sometimes wonder how people let themselves get so obese. For so many people i know it has a huge impact on their lives and they seemingly do sp little to fix the problem (horrible eating habits and barely any exercise). It's also interesting how many overweight people there are in the health industry, particularly nurses.
I think the only time it makes me a little angry is when i see people with really fat kids and their parents feeding them the most unhealthy food you could think of.
Whilst the whole 'tough love' thing is bullshit and a silly way to treat people this is a massive problem in our society. It's becoming a huge burden to the health system and just has a massive negative impact on so many people.
I can't help but feel sorry for her. Especially when you can hear her out of breath whilst doing essentially nothing.
I think the only time it makes me a little angry is when i see people with really fat kids and their parents feeding them the most unhealthy food you could think of.
Whilst the whole 'tough love' thing is bullshit and a silly way to treat people this is a massive problem in our society. It's becoming a huge burden to the health system and just has a massive negative impact on so many people.
I can't help but feel sorry for her. Especially when you can hear her out of breath whilst doing essentially nothing.
I do not really care how people look, rather how they act.
Fat and sugar can be addictive and to me fat people almost exclusively eating really unhealthy food can be seen as when an alcoholic needs their drinks.
We tax the shit out of alcohol and tobacco (here in Sweden anyway) for it to help cover the cost it causes. I don't think it's wrong to tax some stuff like candy or fried food some extra to help out with the medical costs.
Fat and sugar can be addictive and to me fat people almost exclusively eating really unhealthy food can be seen as when an alcoholic needs their drinks.
We tax the shit out of alcohol and tobacco (here in Sweden anyway) for it to help cover the cost it causes. I don't think it's wrong to tax some stuff like candy or fried food some extra to help out with the medical costs.
Deified Data
Banned
Don't care. Their existence doesn't cause me any turmoil. It doesn't bother me that they're different. Their lifestyle isn't ideal, but few are.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Pretty much. Although the epidemic of type 2 diabetes does need to be addressed at some point.
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