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[Great King Bowser]

Just spent like half an hour typing out the story of what happened to my friend in msn, so figured I may as well share it with y'all.

This is from an MSN Messenger conversation, but it makes sense with just my side of the conversation:

So the boat we were on stopped in the middle so we could go swim.

Now i'm by no means a good swimmer. When I say I can swim, I basically mean I know how to not drown.

Not a strong swimmer shall we say.

So my friend wants to jump off the top of the boat. The top being 3 boat storeys high. So I don't particularly really want to do it, but then again I'm game for anything. So we go to the top, and I can see the two Vietnamese guys saying something to each other.

Literally as we leap off I hear him shout to us in Vietnamese not to jump that side. Bit too late motherfucker.

So splash we go.

Now another diversion, before this holiday I had this thing with not liking being submerged in water. I.e. water over my face.

It makes me panic. With that in mind, you'd think it strange I'd dive off a freakin boat.
I think it strange. I am strange.

So then, splash we go.

Panicing, panicing, argh.

Water's deep.

Current is very strong.

So I'm swimming and I'm swimming, and yet somehow I'm moonwalking. I'm Michael Jackson if he didn't dissolve in water.


Shit that's genius.

Anyway, I shall continue.

So my friend tells me to grab hold of him, so I grab the bastard. And I start drowning him, and he's like "get off, get off!!"

So I had to let go, but as I do, he pushes me forwards in a bid to get to the boat so I can grab hold.

I go forward half a metre, I go back 3.

0WNED.

So there I am floating like a twat.

So the bastards up top are just having a fag, not really too fussed.


One of them throws down one of those life ring things, except he throws the fucker at me. Making me a)get knocked the fuck out, and b) get pushed out further.

The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
So there I am floating.


So I'm struggling to get it. The bastard.

When I do eventually get it, it just makes me float out even faster.

Anyway, as I'm idly floating away to get sold as a slave to one of the nearby boats, my friend is still trying to get back to the boat.

Now my sister and her friend were on top deck, and before all this were gonna jump too. We were shouting at them not to.

Now my friend suddenly gets foot cramp, now that shit kills.


Whilst he's drowing, my sister and her mate are screaming at us to look at these eagles that are trying to catch fish in the water.

Now that ain't even fucking funny.


He's drowing, I'm floating away, they're looking at eagles.

And I keep spelling drowning wrong.

Too traumatised.

So anyway, the el capitan is like we'll come back for him [me] on the way back. The tosser.


So yeah, my mate gets back to the boat barely.

I'm still floating.


So I'm trying to swim back, but the current is fucking strong.

So in the end this american dude comes to my rescue and helps me swim back.

Except he was a tosser and I still hate the arrogant prick.


Motherfucker.

He was one of those arrogant, irritating americans. [lolz no offence]

You know, with the big ol' sunglasses, and finds it cool to stand out on deck when there's stormy weather.

So anyway, when I see him coming towards me, I'm thinking; "not this fucking prick".

So in the end I let him swim us both back, I didn't even kick. 0wned.


And that my friend is how I beat the sea.

Or something.

The moral of the story; when in sight of drowning: look to the eagles.

 

[Boomer]

Your story sucks. The American is the only person that bothered to help you and you call him a prick.

 

[Diablos]

Agreed. I think he's a terrorist.

 

[Great King Bowser]

Haha, well... you had to be there.

Fine, I appreciated his help, and am trying to cover an embarassing story. I hate you all.

 

[MrPing1000]

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why the hell did i laugh at that?

 

[BuddyC]

people just don't care about stories anymore.