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I eat burgers with a knife and fork, I even created a process for complex burgers.
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DeadlyVirus
Member
Savages
I was ready to defend you until you started taking the burger apart, lol
I once went out with some friends to this restaurant that served monster burgers. My burger came with a fork and a knife...and I definitely needed it. But I just cut it; I didn't remove the bun or anything inside.
It's the only time I've ever used a fork and a knife on a burger. It was HUGE.
Premium Quality
Member
I mean I'll eat a burger with knife and fork if it's at an actual restaurant with fancy burgers, but sure as hell not at McDonalds. That process you describe in the OP is weird as fuck though...
I used to work at a place that had fancy burgers on the menu, one of which had 100g of kebab-meat, a chili-tomato stew and aioli on top of the regular meat and cheese. So it was messy as fuck. And I still from time to time would see people attempting to eat this monstrousity with their hands, failing miserably in the process and getting sause all over their hands and face. Then they would ask for more napkins to wipe their fucking face with. And all I could think about while giving them their napkins was "you know, there's a reason we put that cutlery next to your plate..."
I used to work at a place that had fancy burgers on the menu, one of which had 100g of kebab-meat, a chili-tomato stew and aioli on top of the regular meat and cheese. So it was messy as fuck. And I still from time to time would see people attempting to eat this monstrousity with their hands, failing miserably in the process and getting sause all over their hands and face. Then they would ask for more napkins to wipe their fucking face with. And all I could think about while giving them their napkins was "you know, there's a reason we put that cutlery next to your plate..."
What are your thoughts on double dipping a chip?
Double dipping is, when it comes to food, is atrocious!
Princess Viola
Member
OP, you disgust me.
Understandable, but it's what the modern noble's etiquette dictates.
Ban Puncher
Member
BladeoftheImmortal
Member
Monsters, the lot of you.
Barrylocke
Member
I mean if you're not sharing it then why not? I usually break apart but I've done this in a rush before.
OP though....I get it for those super burgers because keeping it all in without the mouth of a python seems ridiculous but a plain old burger? No.
RoadHazard
Gold Member
That's just terrible. The point of eating a burger is getting a bit of everything in one bite. You're doing it wrong.
(I also sometimes eat burgers with knife and fork. But then I try to cut through the whole thing and get a full piece.)
(I also sometimes eat burgers with knife and fork. But then I try to cut through the whole thing and get a full piece.)
Mr. Pointy
Member
I'll eat a burger with cutlery or pull it apart if it's way too tall or drips way too much sauce or meat juice.
mhayes86
Member
I would love to master a method for eating a burger with a knife and fork to keep my hands clean. OP, deconstructing the burger is WAY too much additional work, and you're hardly eating a hamburger at that point. You need all of its condiments, buns, and meat all in a single bite.
valkillmore
Member
OP called the lettuce on a burger a 'salad' lmao
Ban Puncher
Member
FortuneFaded
Member
I'm not American so I can't criticise how you eat burgers.
old manatee
Banned
Just rub it on your body and roll around on the floor if you're so desperate to be publicly shamed.
John Kowalski
Banned
You can't control the mixture of ingredients with your mouth, fork and knife are always useful.
GHG
Member
Yes but do you:
1. Remove all toppings and put them to one side.
2. Remove all the cheese and put it to one side.
3. Scrape all of the pizza sauce off the base.
4. Remove crust from pizza base.
4.1. If stuffed crust remove stuffing from crust.
5. Proceed to eat everything one by one starting with 1, finishing with 4.
?
I went to get some pub grub recently with a bunch of people, a lot of us ordered the burger.
One of the guys in the group doesn't like greasy foods on his hands so uses a knife and fork. That's fine, this his thing.
Then I see other people look at him and do the same...like they thought "shit, is this how we're supposed to eat this now?"
Right before I start me and another person connect eyes and we both have that look of "fuck that". Carry on eating with my hands as the burger gods intended and I see other people start going from cutlery to hands. Funny how one person can make others change like that.
One of the guys in the group doesn't like greasy foods on his hands so uses a knife and fork. That's fine, this his thing.
Then I see other people look at him and do the same...like they thought "shit, is this how we're supposed to eat this now?"
Right before I start me and another person connect eyes and we both have that look of "fuck that". Carry on eating with my hands as the burger gods intended and I see other people start going from cutlery to hands. Funny how one person can make others change like that.
CosmicGroinPull
Member
I have a much cleaner system for eating a burger. I bring a portable blender with me, pop a burger and can of coke into it, turn it all into liquid. Then down the whole thing. Quick and easy.
Delicious Waffles
Member
If anything, I cut it in half.
I can see what you're saying though. Some burgers are too big to eat without it turning into a mess after one bite.
I can see what you're saying though. Some burgers are too big to eat without it turning into a mess after one bite.
Shake Appeal
Member
1. Pick up burger in both hands.
2. Put the little finger of both hands underneath the burger to provide structural support.
3. Eat it like a normal person.
2. Put the little finger of both hands underneath the burger to provide structural support.
3. Eat it like a normal person.
If you're not in a MacDonald's then yeah one should be eating it with utensils. It's easier to eat, you don't get any grease on your hands and you don't look disgusting to the others on your table. The only argument for hands is some type of primitive shoving of food down your throat satisfaction.
But you process is too awkward.
Just cut it in half, optionally remove the top bun if you don't want all the bread and start by the edge. You won't be having all of the condiments on every piece you get so it'll be more.manageable.
But you process is too awkward.
Just cut it in half, optionally remove the top bun if you don't want all the bread and start by the edge. You won't be having all of the condiments on every piece you get so it'll be more.manageable.
SapientWolf
Trucker Sexologist
You just slide your mouth up and down the burger like a harmonica. Or a vagina, if that's your preference.Relevant:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489362
So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.
UnemployedVillain
Member
People here are so odd
Relevant:
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=489362
So I can understand OP in some circumstances. A lot of burgers are designed in a way that can't be eaten in hand.
People realize that most of that is just onion strings, right? When you pick the burger up with your hands and squeeze it, it compresses down to a bite-able thickness. Unless you have a small mouth, in which case I either envy or feel sympathy for your partner.
FunkyMunkey
Banned
you matter as well throw it all into a food processor and drink it smfh
Pankratous
Member
Because it usually includes more than just lettuce and any online food ordering system will refer to it as salad.
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