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I got hit with a heavy proposal tonight...
- Thread starter olimario
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I always thought that when you agree to be a child's godfather or godmother you're agreeing, unofficially, to be the child's guardian if one or both parents die. It seems these people want to make it official now. Is this what happened or did your parents and the child's parents assign you this role?
Do The Mario
Unconfirmed Member
olimario said:
Oli what about the dads side of the family?
Are there any biological relations that might be opposed to you becoming guardian of the child?
If you are truly the best person to raise the child god forbid something happens to the parents I think you should accept.
The prophecy is reaching its end:
Just one more step...
Anyways, my answer is no. I don't know you in reality but I don't think that you have the right age (nor the neighbour) to take care of a child. Besides, if you end accepting by supposing nothing wrong is gonna happen I bet my ass that the next day you are in the cemetery...
Just one more step...
Anyways, my answer is no. I don't know you in reality but I don't think that you have the right age (nor the neighbour) to take care of a child. Besides, if you end accepting by supposing nothing wrong is gonna happen I bet my ass that the next day you are in the cemetery...
Kuro Madoushi
Unconfirmed Member
Ummm...maybe it's me, but I always thought if you were someone's godfather/godmother, then they have already agreed verbally to take care of the kid if something should happen to the parents. Writing down in a will makes it legal, but methinks you have already agreed.
Drinky Crow
Banned
People who think this about themselves really have NO idea what it means to be "responsible, selfless, and caring", because they've never really been tested in that area.
Those who have think a great deal less highly of themselves.
I've never heard that "godfather" was supposed to mean "emergency legal guardian." The term means that this person will take an interest in the child's spiritual development in whatever church the parents belong to. If you were raised by secular parents, you more than likely don't have godparents.
As for advice, I think you're on the right track with your thinking: when you'd be ready to have kids yourself, you'd be in a position to take care of someone else's kid. If you've always thought, "Hey, I'll be ready to start a family when I'm done with college and X years into my career," then that might be a good time to be added to their will.
And yes, it would be fair to ask that they make you the beneficiary of their insurance policies and/or existing property distribution in their will, with the stipulation that it be used for the welfare of the child. Consult a lawyer on the best way to make sure it happens...although they should be working with a lawyer on their will to begin with.
As for advice, I think you're on the right track with your thinking: when you'd be ready to have kids yourself, you'd be in a position to take care of someone else's kid. If you've always thought, "Hey, I'll be ready to start a family when I'm done with college and X years into my career," then that might be a good time to be added to their will.
And yes, it would be fair to ask that they make you the beneficiary of their insurance policies and/or existing property distribution in their will, with the stipulation that it be used for the welfare of the child. Consult a lawyer on the best way to make sure it happens...although they should be working with a lawyer on their will to begin with.
Desperado said:
:lol Anyway, If I were responsible, I'd do it. And despite a little skepticism, you're likely that. Fact is though, I'd definetly want the responsibility if the unlikely were to happen. Just because I'd feel bad that the kid would never know how great his parents were, and I'd feel inclined to keep their spirit alive. Even if it were going to take some sacrifices. But that's just me placed in the worst case scenario. If it's someone close to me I care about that simply transcends grievances about responsibility. It's kind of a "would you give your life to save mine" question in a different way.
But yeah, that's definetly a heavy question.
Drinky Crow said:
You think you know why more about peoples circumstance than you actually do know. Tested? Don't assume I haven't been tested about being selfless. Don't think I've been in the position of having next to nothing and given it to someone with less with no expectation of seeing it again.
Don't think I haven't been tested about caring for people. I've stuck by my friends through the worst circumstances you can imagine in the past. I've even helped out people I didn't particularly care for because I'd hate to see them endure hardship.
Don't think I'm not responsable just because I've been fed with a silver spoon all my life. I'm always true to my word and I always get done what I need to and what I'm asked to get done.
It's because I've been tested that I can speak so surely of myself. I only mentioned it in hopes that this post would be taken a little more seriously and it seems it has worked a bit.
You really have no clue about my situation, Drinky, and for you to come in here and generalize like you did is childish. Surely you're above that. I posted about a serious situation and received the help that I needed, but I had to be as honest with everyone as I could in order to get that help.
!?!
Isn't the whole purpose of a God parenet is to do this? Raise the child in case the parents die and there is no one else? I swear folks these days.
"I like you! You're my best friend wanna be my child's god father?"
"Sure!"
*boggle*
A couple of years back I refused to be one of my friends kids god parent because I knew I was unwilling to take responsibilty for the child. she was pissed at me but she understood. Maybe we stuff diffrerently in the Islands. *shrugs*
Isn't the whole purpose of a God parenet is to do this? Raise the child in case the parents die and there is no one else? I swear folks these days.
"I like you! You're my best friend wanna be my child's god father?"
"Sure!"
*boggle*
A couple of years back I refused to be one of my friends kids god parent because I knew I was unwilling to take responsibilty for the child. she was pissed at me but she understood. Maybe we stuff diffrerently in the Islands. *shrugs*
Where I come from, accepting to be a godfather puts you in a position of making sure the child is raised as a Christian. That indirectly implies taking care of the child should the parents pass away.
Of course, no one takes it seriously nowadays, but in a very religious family like Olimario's, they probably still do.
Of course, no one takes it seriously nowadays, but in a very religious family like Olimario's, they probably still do.
The same thing happend to me and I accepted.
It boils down to wether you love the kid or not I figured. And I am absolutelly crazy about my godson (actually, that is the whole point of being a godfather).
So oli, I say if you and your godsone are close, go for it. I am assuming you are mature enough to know what it implies.
It boils down to wether you love the kid or not I figured. And I am absolutelly crazy about my godson (actually, that is the whole point of being a godfather).
So oli, I say if you and your godsone are close, go for it. I am assuming you are mature enough to know what it implies.
MrPing1000
Member
The thread title offered much more than the thread could provide
kitchenmotors
Banned
She's 19? And he's 29? And they have a kid? And you live in Moral, USA? How the fuck does that happen? If the kid is 3 months, she most likely was 18 when she was with child. @_@
Damn, I live in Chicago and even the most liberal family here would have a huge problem with that picture.
I smell a new reality show idea!!
Damn, I live in Chicago and even the most liberal family here would have a huge problem with that picture.
I smell a new reality show idea!!
I'll add my viewpoint because I think it will help you make a good decision. My wife and I recently had to choose someone to put into our will to be the gaurdians of our kids. Let me tell you, it was an agonizing decision that took a couple weeks to sort out who we thought would be best.
In the end, we narrowed it down to my sister. After all our scrutinizing, she was the only one we could fully trust to raise our kids and give them the tools they needed to be successful adults. If you don't accept the responsibility, it will be a huge dissapointment to the parents. You might be the only one they can trust. You should be honored. Accept the responsibility. The chances are slim that you would have to take care of him and you will be giving the parents a big relief knowing that they have their kid "taken care of" in an emergency.
In the end, we narrowed it down to my sister. After all our scrutinizing, she was the only one we could fully trust to raise our kids and give them the tools they needed to be successful adults. If you don't accept the responsibility, it will be a huge dissapointment to the parents. You might be the only one they can trust. You should be honored. Accept the responsibility. The chances are slim that you would have to take care of him and you will be giving the parents a big relief knowing that they have their kid "taken care of" in an emergency.
ManDudeChild
Member
olimario said:
You DO realise that you've proven Drinky's point right?
Drinky Crow
Banned
Pretty self-righteous for someone so "caring and selfless," olimario. Badge of pride, izzit?
Like I said, you've never been tested, because when you've truly given of yourself, feeling self-congratulatory doesn't come in the bargain.
Even now, you're actively calculating the karma of playing the role of the child's godfather, and the potential consequences versus how many Good Points you can put in your personal Holier-Than-Thou spreadsheet, rather than just doing the right thing and living with the risk just BECAUSE your friends/family need you. You're still selfish enough that pride is part of the deal.
Like I said, you've never been tested, because when you've truly given of yourself, feeling self-congratulatory doesn't come in the bargain.
Even now, you're actively calculating the karma of playing the role of the child's godfather, and the potential consequences versus how many Good Points you can put in your personal Holier-Than-Thou spreadsheet, rather than just doing the right thing and living with the risk just BECAUSE your friends/family need you. You're still selfish enough that pride is part of the deal.
McLesterolBeast
Member
Accept the proposal, and if they die, chuck the child in the nearest dumpster ... or orphanage. Whichever is easier. Keep the house as a gift for your chucking efforts.
I also thought that accepting the title of Godfather was a verbal agreement to raise the child if something should happen to the parents. At least that's what I was told when I was asked to be one, and my family is Jewish... do they even have Godparents? Who knows, hehe.
Anyway, if you think you can handle it, go for it, but I agree that it might be best to hold off until a point in your life that you would feel ready to care for a child of your own. The parents may not be going into espionage, but you never know when that bus is gonna come out from nowhere...
Also, if you do end up with the child, I hear that around 10 is a good age to stop bathing with it.
Anyway, if you think you can handle it, go for it, but I agree that it might be best to hold off until a point in your life that you would feel ready to care for a child of your own. The parents may not be going into espionage, but you never know when that bus is gonna come out from nowhere...
Also, if you do end up with the child, I hear that around 10 is a good age to stop bathing with it.
Drinky Crow said:
I don't understand how humble plays into being selfless and caring. ANd even then, I only mentioned those things to give people a better view of how I would be around this child and the kind of person that might potentially raise him.
If I lead a wreckless life in any regard I wouldn't have mentioned that I'm responsable.
If I generally didn't care about the well-being of my fellow man, I wouldn't have mentioned that I was caring.
I'm just trying to give those who are ACTUALLY giving advice some material to work with.
Bacon said:
That was beyond rude. They really are wonderful parents and finding out that she was pregnant drastically changed both of their lives. The chances of them conceiving were slim to none, but they did anyhow. The day they found out she was pregnany they both stopped smoking cold turkey, they both stopped drinking, and they both began the road to parenthood by taking classes and studying the best way to raise a child. I've never seen parents more dedicated to their kid.
.
Personally I'm ready to take on this responsability, but if I don't have the means to give this child a great life, I won't accept right now. I'd hate to "test" all my traits in a one bedroom apartment while I'm working 40 hours a week.
norinrad21
Banned
Gek54 said:
In Texas they do son, in Texas they do
norinrad21 said:
I have spent all my life in Texas and I have never seen it taken this far. My sister when she was 19 was asked to be a Godmother of her friend's child but it was only spoken and never considered for legal documentation. The child would go it's grandparents which seems alot more logical. I know I wouldnt want to burden my young friends with my child.
Bacon said:
They are saints? No, my friend, you are the true saint here.
They would be leaving me with a home, his life insurance, his college tuition payed, and most likely some money.
Through college I'll have full financial support and after college I should be able to find a good job. Hopefully I'll be married by then and I'll have somebody to stay home and take care of him.
It don't think it would be the situation you forsee, but it might not be the one I forsee either. That's why I have a lot of people to speak with before I accept.
norinrad21
Banned
Are you really going ahead with this Garymario?
Olimario, you got kicked out of school because you didnt even bother to get some classes cancelled. There's the whole financial aspect of having to take care of a kid, but dont fucking forget the whole 'fatherhood' thing that youre gonna have to mix with your future job/college/girlfriend. Do you think you really are ready for that?
What does your girlfriend thinks on the whole thing? Does she sees herself having to take care of someone else' kid?
What does your girlfriend thinks on the whole thing? Does she sees herself having to take care of someone else' kid?
Naked Shuriken said:
I didn't even know I had the class that got me kicked out of high school. Had I known I would have had it cancelled.
And like I've said, I'm ready for the fatherhood aspect, it's just the financial part I'm trying to work out right now.
She says I have her full support in whatever I choose. She's already been a major part of this kids life already.
Bacon-
They don't have to be living to pay life insurance. I've been assured that it will be taken care of.
I think I'm done here. It's made the turn from advice to scrutiny. That's heartless GAF for ya.
norinrad21
Banned
Those two have probably considered suicide and they need someone to take care of little cletus or little mary Jo Joanna while they are long gone
Smiles and Cries
Member
My Mother died when I was 14 and from then I lived with my Godmother until 18 years old.
its not like the parents are just going to drop dead right now, they just want to make sure the child has that emergency support if the worst comes to past.
Oli this is a major thing to get asked to do but also a great honor that someone's parents thinks of you in that way. They only asked because they KNOW you CAN DO IT.
its not like the parents are just going to drop dead right now, they just want to make sure the child has that emergency support if the worst comes to past.
Oli this is a major thing to get asked to do but also a great honor that someone's parents thinks of you in that way. They only asked because they KNOW you CAN DO IT.
Oli, in Canadian funds I would recommend you make sure both parents each have at least 400,000 in total life insurance coverage. That's around 300,000 each in US funds assuming costs for child care in the US work out to be about the same as in Canada after considering currency valuation.
But I assume medical care drives the costs up in the US. You really should get your own financial planner/advisor to help make sure your ass is covered in this arrangement too.
But I assume medical care drives the costs up in the US. You really should get your own financial planner/advisor to help make sure your ass is covered in this arrangement too.
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