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[Giallo Corsa]

Not me. No chance. No way.

Don't want kids. Can't stand them.

They are expensive, annoying, and honestly we need to stop popping kids out for fun. There are enough humans as it is.

Nightmare, your post you could be interpreted as misanthropic but...I do get the sentiment.

The problem in my opinion stems from the fact that long time partners/couples consider having kids as the defacto, next and "logical" step - "we've been together for years so we might as well have kids" is the usual "take" when talking to couples of a certain age, that, and the obvious peer/family pressure when you're above a certain age and married.
The unfortunate thing is that this point of view/line of thought is based on "autopilot" decisions and doesn't guarantee that you'll raise a good, healthy family/kids down the line.

What I'm really happy for, are couples that no matter their age or marital status consciously decide on bringing new life to this world, these are the people that will most probably be happy down the line and raise their kids well, not the usual "I'm 35+ years old baby, we've been together for X years and I really want kids", or, " I'm almost 40 baby, I need to have kids now, plus, my parents are putting pressure on me since they also want some grandkids".

I've been single for the most of my adult life boys and 99% of the people that I've met that had/have kids (and symptomatically, all of them are divorced), had their kids for all the wrong reasons, be that peer/family pressure, jealousy due to friends/other family members already having theirs, getting together with assholes and trying to "settle down" just 'cause they had their fun and now are in their late 30's/early 40's and so on so forth, really, really miserable experiences, the shit I've seen and heard...

What most wannabe parents don't understand is that bringing new life into this world is one of the most important and responsible things in the world - if not the most responsible, it's not something which should be done because of your partner's insecurity.

Kids are a beautiful thing, having said that, they're not for everyone (me included).

@OP : My honest opinion is to just get a cat brother, not even a dog, a bird could also work well

 

[AlteredForms]

I’m in the same boat and feel a little regret whenever I see happy couples with children. I wanted 3 sons because growing up I had a brother, though he was always eager to live his life and I don’t judge him for not having a solid relationship with me.

But having brothers allows you to have the best of both worlds. Though the amount of work it takes to raise a single child, I’m thinking about sticking to 2 children instead. My brother has a single son and he doesn’t want anymore due to burnout. I’m weird though because I exclusively want sons, not daughters. I suppose I’m projecting a little.

 

[Days like these...]

I’m in the same boat and feel a little regret whenever I see happy couples with children. I wanted 3 sons because growing up I had a brother, though he was always eager to live his life and I don’t judge him for not having a solid relationship with me.

But having brothers allows you to have the best of both worlds. Though the amount of work it takes to raise a single child, I’m thinking about sticking to 2 children instead. My brother has a single son and he doesn’t want anymore due to burnout. I’m weird though because I exclusively want sons, not daughters. I suppose I’m projecting a little.

Your can always retroactively abort if they're not what you want

 

[AlteredForms]

Your can always retroactively abort if they're not what you want

But they are what I want, even though I’m probably not prepared for the time-sink that they are. When I heard Interfectum mentioning he has three sons, that’s exactly what I want, and I’m curious if he studied the interactions between them, how they went to the other brother if the current one didn’t want to play.

The differences between each one. I want my first at around age 25 and the other two at 2 year intervals. I would pick them up and cuddle them and laugh, but my life went down another path and it pains the shit out of me.

 

[AJUMP23]

I love being a dad. get married and get a couple of kids.

The Bible says, Children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, Happy is a man who has his Quiver full.

 

[Interfectum]

But they are what I want, even though I’m probably not prepared for the time-sink that they are. When I heard Interfectum mentioning he has three sons, that’s exactly what I want, and I’m curious if he studied the interactions between them, how they went to the other brother if the current one didn’t want to play.

The differences between each one. I want my first at around age 25 and the other two at 2 year intervals. I would pick them up and cuddle them and laugh, but my life went down another path and it pains the shit out of me.

Having kids is so much of a time-sink that the phrase doesn't do it justice. Having kids is a complete change of your life. The pacing of your life changes, the way you think changes, everything changes. I always laugh when people compare having a dog to being 'close' to what having a kid is like. It's not.

And yeah it's great watching the three boys play together and see their allegiances towards each other change on the fly. I love being a dad and would never go back but it's definitely not for everyone...

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Yeah not sure why I'm posting this other that being slightly tipsy, but just for reference I'm 34 years old, making good money for LATAM standards, in shape, etc, and for the last couple years I started feeling strong feelings of wanting a baby, and it mostly happens when I travel on my own, when I'm completely alone 100%, first time it happened during a 3 month stay in Barcelona and now I'm in Buenos Aires, and pretty much when I see a toddler I get teary eyed and feel this deep urge of being a father.

I think I'm ready but I don't a have a girl at the moment and most girls I meet are not wife material, that's why I'm still taking my time to vet correctly for a woman that's compatible with my lifestyle and my vision, but it's hard... I feel lonely as fuck.

Anyone relate or can share your point of view on this matter?

Regarding the thread, do you want me to give my real opinion or with censorship?

 

[Days like these...]

But they are what I want, even though I’m probably not prepared for the time-sink that they are. When I heard Interfectum mentioning he has three sons, that’s exactly what I want, and I’m curious if he studied the interactions between them, how they went to the other brother if the current one didn’t want to play.

The differences between each one. I want my first at around age 25 and the other two at 2 year intervals. I would pick them up and cuddle them and laugh, but my life went down another path and it pains the shit out of me.

I mean if you don't have boys you can retroactively abort

 

[Days like these...]

Regarding the thread, do you want me to give my real opinion or with censorship?

Make sure you vet your opinion and that it's compatible with a certain vision

 

[Days like these...]

I love being a dad. get married and get a couple of kids.

The Bible says, Children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, Happy is a man who has his Quiver full.

You realize arrows were/are used to kill right?

 

[K2D]

With today's turmoil in the world and the uncertainty of the economic recession, I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice to father a child. It's a hell of a lot of anxiety involved.

 

[AJUMP23]

You realize arrows were/are used to kill right?

You understand Metaphor right?

 

[Days like these...]

You understand Metaphor right?

That's an extremely poor metaphor if that's what it's actually trying to be. Make sure not to wear mixed fabrics!

 

[gaming_again]

You realize arrows were/are used to kill right?

Lol you are making such insane posts in this thread.

 

[gaming_again]

That's an extremely poor metaphor if that's what it's actually trying to be. Make sure not to wear mixed fabrics!

It’s a metaphor that’s lasted for 2,000 years because it’s pretty much perfect.

 

[AJUMP23]

It’s a metaphor that’s lasted for 2,000 years because it’s pretty much perfect.

3500 years, it is from Psalms.

That's an extremely poor metaphor if that's what it's actually trying to be. Make sure not to wear mixed fabrics!

Arrows are great tools, blessing, and useful for a warrior as Children are to a father. And having many will increase your blessing. Unless you are an idiot.

 

[gaming_again]

And all you can do is pull an arrow back with all your experience and knowledge and then let it fly. Its flight is out of your control.

 

[K2D]

I love being a dad. get married and get a couple of kids.

The Bible says, Children are like arrows in the hand of a warrior, Happy is a man who has his Quiver full.

Never heard those words of wisdom, but they resonate. I can't justify them for myself right now though (read previous).

 

[Blade2.0]

Just got to shoot inside brother. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

 

[JimmyRustler]

Never in the history of humanity has training/teaching children been the reason for having children . To procreate, to pass on your bloodline, etc. are reasons. You are confusing what you do with children which is raise them, teach them with reasons to have children.

Well, then I guess I’d be the first one. I couldn’t care less about passing on my bloodline.

 

[Aesius]

People saying find the right woman first are right.

In order to survive, you will need someone you trust and can depend on without question.

With the right person, having kids can be an enormous blessing and enhance your life in so many ways (but even then, it's still a very difficult and all-consuming task, but so very, very worth it).

With the wrong person, I assume it's awful and a huge reason why there are so many single-parent households in America.

At 34, you have time, but it's something you need to actively pursue. I had my first at 33 and my second at 35. I think you can reasonably have kids up to around age 40, but that's when you start running into potential issues of being too old/tired to truly play with them when they're in late childhood.

 

[TuxedoSammy]

Have you fostered before out of curiosity?

No, but I considered it, so I did a little bit of research on it a year ago. It's still something I'd like to do.

 

[JayK47]

If you are a decent person, please find another decent person, marry them and have kids. If you are a selfish prick, please stay single and childless.

 

[Saiyan-Rox]

Just don't mistake the birth ward for a showroom and ask for one

They tend not to like that

 

[AlteredForms]

Having kids is so much of a time-sink that the phrase doesn't do it justice. Having kids is a complete change of your life. The pacing of your life changes, the way you think changes, everything changes. I always laugh when people compare having a dog to being 'close' to what having a kid is like. It's not.

And yeah it's great watching the three boys play together and see their allegiances towards each other change on the fly. I love being a dad and would never go back but it's definitely not for everyone...

Can I ask when you had them and how old they are? Who's your favourite (and don't lie and say you don't have one) and why was three the correct number? Also, talk about the greatest challenges.

 

[Irobot82]

I have three kids, all boys, and no doubt having kids gives you the highest of highs and the lowest of lows in life.

I also have three sons and they are by far the absolute greatest things I've ever help create. They make life worth living, striving to be better. Also, they can be assholes.

 

[K' Dash]

I became a father of a beautiful baby girl at 37 years old, I love her more than life itself and would give my life gladly to save hers.

With that said, I always say to my peers that they should never have kids.

There’s nothing more life consuming, tiring and expensive that raising a child.

So, unless you want to give away your life, don’t do it.

 

[Big Baller]

I want to be a lover

 

[NinjaBoiX]

I love interacting with kids, they’re so fun! But I like being able to hand them back when the fun stops,

I don’t want to have to look after a tiny human being for the next 18+ years of my life. Fuck that…

 

[poodaddy]

Just got to shoot inside brother. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

I don't think brother can get pregnant, and even if he could I think keeping it in the family is frowned upon outside of the Southeastern Conference states.

 

[daveonezero]

Go to church fine a conservative community. Meet people there. Meet future wife.

Maybe find Jesus.

That will get you some kids and probably some happiness.

 

[Days like these...]

I don't think brother can get pregnant, and even if he could I think keeping it in the family is frowned upon outside of the Southeastern Conference states.

Try cousin it's not looked down upon as much

 

[pramod]

Unless u intend to be a shitty parent, prepare to give up ur life for the next 15 yrs at least.

 

[Irobot82]

Unless u intend to be a shitty parent, prepare to give up ur life for the next 15 yrs at least.

It's not giving up, it's sharing and enhancing your life.

 

[TheGreatMusashi]

I have two kids and really do my best to be a good father.

With that being said, I’ve struggled for years feeling like a bad person because I don’t enjoy it and never have. They’re getting close to being teenagers and I know it’s probably only downhill from here (meaning teenagers are just tough in general) but I really, really do my best.

I don’t resent them or anything and would be horrified if they somehow read this and knew it was coming from me because it doesn’t show through. I’m always stressed trying to make sure I do a great job and it honestly sucks.

Everyone’s different and I just learned with age that despite wanting to be different, I’m just not and that’s a part of life. I take pride knowing I’ve done a way better job than my parents ever did and at the end of the day they’re happy, provided for, and are on the right track, I’m doing a good job. I’ve just had to deal with a lot of personal, internal torment about it over the years but have pretty much accepted it at this point.

Really, really, really think about it before jumping in. The day to day, the lifetime commitment, everything because if it happens and you fuck it up, you fuck them up. It’s a huge responsibility that has royally fucked with me since they were born.

 

[gow3isben]

I want to be a lover

Batman is a lover

 

[Maiden Voyage]

You understand Metaphor right?

“The bow is your cock and the quiver your balls. Though every shot may land on the target that is your loving wife, not every shot is a bullseye.”
John 420:69

 

[Amory]

I have a son and would highly recommend

Fun to make too! For guys anyway

 

[Aesius]

I love interacting with kids, they’re so fun! But I like being able to hand them back when the fun stops,

I don’t want to have to look after a tiny human being for the next 18+ years of my life. Fuck that…

You know that babies/toddlers grow up, right? Lol

When you have a kid, you have a newborn for 2-3 months. Infant for 1 year. Toddler for 2 years after that. Little kid for 2-3 years after that. "Big kid" for the next 4-5 years. Then they're a "tween," which is essentially the end of childhood. This seems to be happening earlier and earlier now.

Anyway, the "taking care of a helpless human" stage lasts until they're around 2 years old. My son isn't even 2.5 yet and gets his own snacks, turns on the TV, puts on his socks and shoes, and can tell me and my wife what he wants/needs.

They grow and change very, very fast.

 

[Days like these...]

I have two kids and really do my best to be a good father.

With that being said, I’ve struggled for years feeling like a bad person because I don’t enjoy it and never have. They’re getting close to being teenagers and I know it’s probably only downhill from here (meaning teenagers are just tough in general) but I really, really do my best.

I don’t resent them or anything and would be horrified if they somehow read this and knew it was coming from me because it doesn’t show through. I’m always stressed trying to make sure I do a great job and it honestly sucks.

Everyone’s different and I just learned with age that despite wanting to be different, I’m just not and that’s a part of life. I take pride knowing I’ve done a way better job than my parents ever did and at the end of the day they’re happy, provided for, and are on the right track, I’m doing a good job. I’ve just had to deal with a lot of personal, internal torment about it over the years but have pretty much accepted it at this point.

Really, really, really think about it before jumping in. The day to day, the lifetime commitment, everything because if it happens and you fuck it up, you fuck them up. It’s a huge responsibility that has royally fucked with me since they were born.

Don't feel bad I never wanted kids but I have 2 because my wife wanted kids. Don't get me wrong I love them but if I could do it over again. I'd find someone that didn't want kids.

 

[AJUMP23]

“The bow is your cock and the quiver your balls. Though every shot may land on the target that is your loving wife, not every shot is a bullseye.”
John 420:69

There is a verse in Song of Solomon where the woman is admiring her husbands unit. Compares it to the tusk of an elephant. You should have gone there instead of making up a verse.

 

[Heimdall_Xtreme]

Make sure you vet your opinion and that it's compatible with a certain vision

In these times, you already have to be too careful who you go out with, at least in Mexico, women are too interested and do not seek to take responsibility.


The important thing is that they are loyal and show affection, because currently many women seek to be gold diggers.

And he will never, ever, ever be with a single mother... It's one of the worst experiences and there are many negative issues.

Also avoid a lot of women who live it on social networks and tik tok, because they are people with low self-esteem and always seek the attention of men.

 

[DownLikeBCPowder]

Yeah not sure why I'm posting this other that being slightly tipsy, but just for reference I'm 34 years old, making good money for LATAM standards, in shape, etc, and for the last couple years I started feeling strong feelings of wanting a baby, and it mostly happens when I travel on my own, when I'm completely alone 100%, first time it happened during a 3 month stay in Barcelona and now I'm in Buenos Aires, and pretty much when I see a toddler I get teary eyed and feel this deep urge of being a father.

I think I'm ready but I don't a have a girl at the moment and most girls I meet are not wife material, that's why I'm still taking my time to vet correctly for a woman that's compatible with my lifestyle and my vision, but it's hard... I feel lonely as fuck.

Anyone relate or can share your point of view on this matter?

I never wanted to have children - I did end up having a daughter and it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

Good luck, but I agree that you should take your time and make sure the partner works.

 

[Jaybe]

Sounds like you are getting these deep emotions when you’re at your lowest point, which isn’t the best place to be when considering the weight of bringing a life into this world.

Your loneliness seems the biggest issue. Maybe less long trips along in the future? Try and date for fun a bit, at least pretty and employed women, and do this without the ‘I want a woman to give me children’ vibe that is likely to repel a lot of them.

Worst case, get a dog. It certainly won’t hurt with the loneliness or attracting ladies.

 

[Neolombax]

Raising a child is extremely hard to do. It requires so much from you, that you really really need to be sure of this. I hope you don't take this as a knock on you, but raising a child is not something you do out of a whim, or because you need company. What you see on the outside, when children are happy and smiling, thats not how they are most of the time. Kids have a real knack of pressing your buttons and can really trigger you, and they can be very demanding. When they fall sick you worry endlessly and then you worry again in anticipation so that they don't fall sick again.

That said, I love my kids with every fiber of my being. But 2 kids is enough, no more.

 

[gaming_again]

Raising a child is extremely hard to do. It requires so much from you, that you really really need to be sure of this. I hope you don't take this as a knock on you, but raising a child is not something you do out of a whim, or because you need company. What you see on the outside, when children are happy and smiling, thats not how they are most of the time. Kids have a real knack of pressing your buttons and can really trigger you, and they can be very demanding. When they fall sick you worry endlessly and then you worry again in anticipation so that they don't fall sick again.

That said, I love my kids with every fiber of my being. But 2 kids is enough, no more.

The vulnerability they introduce into your life has been the biggest and most surprising thing to me. It leaves you utterly raw to the world.

I don’t know how parents continue after losing a child.

Almost every day I think of a picture I saw of a man returning home after the funeral of his two year old, who was mauled to death in his garden by a neighbours loose dog. The pain on his face is heart-stopping. I’m getting teary just writing this!

If you value being hard and cold then DO NOT have kids.

 

[OZ9000]

Not me. No chance. No way.

Don't want kids. Can't stand them.

They are expensive, annoying, and honestly we need to stop popping kids out for fun. There are enough humans as it is.

As a father I somewhat agree. To be honest I cannot stand anyone else's kids. I used to hate it family gatherings when I had to witness and hear an assault on my ears on a regular basis thanks to kids.

I don't intend to have any more kids - one is enough, although there is a nice feeling where whatever I build in this life can be passed on to my son.

However, the real solution to the overpopulation of this planet would be considered rather dark.

Spoiler

We have too many old people. Many of them are a burden to society, and are overwhelming responsible for healthcare costs without any improvement in quality of life. Deep down I don't think life is worth living past a certain age

 

[-Minsc-]

My wife and I are soon going to try for a child. We are both 41 so there is the hurdle that we both are not young. One child will be enough. Thinking of being a father is an inspiration to become a better person.

For anyone planning to have more than one kid.

 

[Neolombax]

The vulnerability they introduce into your life has been the biggest and most surprising thing to me. It leaves you utterly raw to the world.

I don’t know how parents continue after losing a child.

Almost every day I think of a picture I saw of a man returning home after the funeral of his two year old, who was mauled to death in his garden by a neighbours loose dog. The pain on his face is heart-stopping. I’m getting teary just writing this!

If you value being hard and cold then DO NOT have kids.

I dont think about it often, I try very hard not to, but losing a child is one of those things that can literally stop me from doing anything. I get you, nowadays I cant read any news involving children in accidents. Its just too heartbreaking.

 

[Maiden Voyage]

There is a verse in Song of Solomon where the woman is admiring her husbands unit. Compares it to the tusk of an elephant. You should have gone there instead of making up a verse.

So the bible is a good source for spank material?