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[DragoonKain]

I know this insanity is becoming more and more commonplace today, but it's never actually happened to me yet. I called to make a doctor's appointment today and the woman on the phone said before I let you go I'm required to ask you a few questions. And then the BOMB DROPPED.

"Are your preferred pronouns he, she, or they?"

I just said I'd like to abstain from answering that question. She didn't give me a hard time about it. And I wasn't going to be rude, because I'm sure it's practice policy, but I really wanted to say something else about it. I didn't out of respect to her.

Then I was asked a few more identity related questions.

I think it was Abigail Shrier who has said, the question itself comes with the premise that one can't just assume you're a man or woman by your name or appearance. Which I find troubling.

I'm adamant about never answering that question when it is asked of me. As long as someone isn't trying to force me, I'm not going to make a big deal about it, as annoying as I find it all.

Just curious how many here have been asked that question and how do you typically respond to it?

 

[VN1X]

 

[EviLore]

It’s almost always optional to specify, so I ignore it. It's very common now in academic settings and some workplace settings.

 

[Coolwhhip]

If they ask after your physical, then you got a problem.

If I would get asked that I would reply with "Sorry I'm not on Twitter."

 

[Star-Lord]

I’m yet to be asked, and I’m in no rush to be asked.

 

[Burning Blade]

My pronouns are it/that.

 

[gundalf]

I’m yet to be asked, and I’m in no rush to be asked.

So Mr FancyPants, are your preferred pronouns he, she, or they?

 

[Kilau]

Only 3 options? Fucking bigots.

 

[Soodanim]

My pronouns are it/that.

“I find your assumption that I wish to be humanised insulting”

 

[DarkestHour]

They have to otherwise someone will get offended.

 

[jason10mm]

Brap/Braaaap is what I'll say. If they look confused I'll accuse them of bigotry and storm away.

The problem here is that rather than empower the few folks this actually might apply to to just speak up we have to hit EVERYONE with a broad brush and waste time. And when folks feel pressured to accept this lunacy and don't just take their money elsewhere it gets perpetuated.

It does help a bit of you have a name that is unfamiliar to others without the usual gender cues. I've known folks via email for months before figuring out of they were male or female because the name isn't obvious and the conversation never involved pronouns.


It is virtue signaling when there is a photo of a bearded balding white guy with the same "Douglas Timmons" that somehow thinks folks might not know he is a "he/him".

 

[Cyberpunkd]

"Are your preferred pronouns he, she, or they?"

You blew your chance - next time inform them you identify as the Lord of all Creation, therefore the only way they can address you is ‘Your Lordship’.

 

[thefool]

I prefer dog.

 

[Star-Lord]

So Mr FancyPants, are your preferred pronouns he, she, or they?

None of the above.

I am omnipotent.

 

[Dream-Knife]

I've only seen it online in radio menus. Usually just three choices, which actually makes it pretty funny since they're basically asking if you're male, female, or ????.

 

[haxan7]

Good call not making a big deal about it.

If someone asks me that I'd probably do the same. But part of me would want to say "what the fuck do I sound like to you?"

They get a few of those I bet they drop it from their questionnaire.

 

[Coolwhhip]

None of the above.

I am omnipotent.

 

[Star-Lord]

I’d probably kill myself.

 

[poppabk]

I've had it show up on forms, never where it was required I don't think. I don't see the big deal, it's pretty equivalent to the Mr, Mrs, Miss, Dr etc thing.

 

[SlimySnake]

I wouldve just said he.

Who cares. Just make that poor womans life easier. She has to do it all day.

 

[TheInfamousKira]

I mean, I think the whole thing is dumb as fuck, and a result of people with too much time on their hands circle jerking to make themselves feel more important or individualized than their peers, but at the same time

I kinda feel like refusing to state your pronouns *is* making a big deal out of it, because it physically takes more energy to be like "I'd prefer not to say," than "he/him," Like, I get that it's not something you want to be complacent with because taking part is tantamount to approval and normalization, but there are some arenas where you have to play by the other team's rules. In this case, this woman probably thinks you're trans or identify as a elephant now. Much easier to just be like "I'm a dude, bro,"

 

[Coolwhhip]

I mean, I think the whole thing is dumb as fuck, and a result of people with too much time on their hands circle jerking to make themselves feel more important or individualized than their peers, but at the same time

I kinda feel like refusing to state your pronouns *is* making a big deal out of it, because it physically takes more energy to be like "I'd prefer not to say," than "he/him," Like, I get that it's not something you want to be complacent with because taking part is tantamount to approval and normalization, but there are some arenas where you have to play by the other team's rules. In this case, this woman probably thinks you're trans or identify as a elephant now. Much easier to just be like "I'm a dude, bro,"

Where does it end? “Please state your triggers sir.”

 

[Rival]

I always answer Wii

 

[TheInfamousKira]

Where does it end? “Please state your triggers sir.”

I mean, fair point, but I don't think choosing the receptionist at the doctor's office as your chosen battlefield is going to change society, either.

 

[thegame983]

Cancel.

I wouldn't trust someone to stick their finger up my bum if they were confused as to what a man/woman is.

 

[usctrojan]

I wouldve just said he.

Who cares. Just make that poor womans life easier. She has to do it all day.

seriously. we've ventured into reverse snowflakism.

 

[IDKFA]

It’s almost always optional to specify, so I ignore it. It's very common now in academic settings and some workplace settings.

We had a team meeting today and it's going to be common at my place of work.

Starting from next month, which is LGBTQ+ history month, my employer is encouraging all employees to put their preferred pronouns in their emails. Also, all staff will be invited to "education training" to learn the importance of pronouns.

I was thinking of putting my pronouns as something ridiculous like splosh/speckle-burt for shits and giggles, but I'd probably end up losing my job.

 

[clem84]

I just said I'd like to abstain from answering that question. She didn't give me a hard time about it. And I wasn't going to be rude, because I'm sure it's practice policy, but I really wanted to say something else about it. I didn't out of respect to her.

I think it's the correct way to handle it. She might not even be responsible for it as you say. Just decline to answer.

 

[Stuart360]

Thankfully only been asked this once so far. Was actually ina chemist where i was asked for some reason. The guy asked how i preffered to be identified and started saying 'he, hi....' i then jumped in and said 'oh please dont involve me in that nonsense', and the chemist smiled and said ok.
I got the sense that inside he felt just as stupid asking as i did getting asked.

 

[Patrick S.]

My pronouns?

Herr/Herrn

 

[Fbh]

I only go to doctors that recognize at least 30 different pronouns and have accommodations for my Fursuit.

Seriously though, I've never been asked. But this shit is slowly started to get more common here

 

[Gp1]

Easy answer

 

[dcll]

I will never participate in this bullshit

 

[Cyberpunkd]

I was thinking of putting my pronouns as something ridiculous like splosh/speckle-burt for shits and giggles, but I'd probably end up losing my job.

I notice the new Xbox Gaming org charts lists everyone’s pronounces, there are only je/him and she/her. I think trans are discriminated at Microsoft.

 

[GeekyDad]

 

[Spaceman292]

My pronouns are boi/boipucci

 

[DanteFox]

Even if you're a liberal, asking the question as a default makes no sense. The people who use non-traditional pronouns are in the vast minority. They can let you know what they prefer to be called. Having 98% of people specify that they are a man who identified as a man or a woman who identifies as a woman is just a waste of time.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Tell them to call you Sir.

 

[DragoonKain]

Even if you're a liberal, asking the question as a default makes no sense. The people who use non-traditional pronouns are in the vast minority. They can let you know what they prefer to be called. Having 98% of people specify that they are a man who identified as a man or a woman who identifies as a woman is just a waste of time.

The idea of the question comes with the assumption that if one just assumed someone's gender and got it wrong, it would be deeply hurtful. If someone just called someone something and they turned out to identify as another gender. A normal and sane response would be to politely correct them and everyone moves on. However, as a means of power and control, people have used this as basically emotional blackmail to say that if someone calls someone the wrong gender it can crush them emotionally. If that's the case, this isn't their problem. They need a lot of psychological help.

I think it should be treated like anything else. I meet someone by the name Michael. I call him Mike. He said "I prefer to be called Michael." I say ok, and then call him Michael. And that's the end of it. That's how normal human discourse works.

 

[Teslerum]

I've had it show up on forms, never where it was required I don't think. I don't see the big deal, it's pretty equivalent to the Mr, Mrs, Miss, Dr etc thing.

So, useless bullshit?

I'm not even disagreeing here, but I've always hated those even before we got the modern incarnation in terms of pronouns. Simply ask marriage status if necessary and nobody fucking cares if you have a doctorate. Thankfully its much less prevalent nowadays.

Still extremely proud of myself of avoiding these whenever I had the need to create a form (and in the future also completely avoiding pronoun questions). Societal garbage.

 

[TGO]

I'd be offered they didn't know.
what I don't look manly enough!?

 

[Ownage]

Sir.

 

[BigBeauford]

Have some fun with it!

Receptionist: Pronoun?
Me: What do you think?

OR

If she forgets to ask you the pronoun next time you book an appointment, before you hang up, you say eexcuuuuuuse me , I am now this pronoun.

 

[ZywyPL]

Your/Hired.

 

[jason10mm]

If she is hot try this

"What are your preferred pronouns, Sir?"

"You, me, dinner tonight"

Might just be crazy enough to work!!!!

 

[DragoonKain]

If she is hot try this

"What are your preferred pronouns, Sir?"

"You, me, dinner tonight"

Might just be crazy enough to work!!!!

I think the response would be "My pronouns are MeToo"

 

[LordCBH]

My preferred pronoun is “panzertank” and “panzertank-self”. I will not accept any bigotry towards my panzertank-self.

 

[bitbydeath]

Just a simple.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK!”

Should suffice.

 

[nush]

Tell them to call you Sir.

Why stop there? Raise the bar to Lord.

 

[poppabk]

So, useless bullshit?

I'm not even disagreeing here, but I've always hated those even before we got the modern incarnation in terms of pronouns. Simply ask marriage status if necessary and nobody fucking cares if you have a doctorate. Thankfully its much less prevalent nowadays.

Still extremely proud of myself of avoiding these whenever I had the need to create a form (and in the future also completely avoiding pronoun questions). Societal garbage.

Basically. Some people care a lot though. Call the wrong married woman Miss and you will catch an earful. And vice versa. I had a physics teacher who insisted on being called Dr because he had a PhD. Some people will get triggered by their existence due to the Mrs/Miss thing.
And don't get me started with the whole addressing of mail to family thing.