If I Cover All My Co-worker's Pens in Green Chili Pepper Juice...

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JzeroT1437

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So my co-worker chews on his pens like an animal, slurping and sucking and spitting on them like someone performing really sloppy, disgusting felatio. I listen to my headphones most of the day, but I can hear him through them, and it really grosses me out. I plan on covering his pens in Chili Juice so that when he goes back to them tomorrow morning, they'll be super-spicy and burn his mouth out, but I'm not sure if the spiciness will stick around if I put the juice on them tonight. Unfortunately, waiting till he and a few other people leave the office is really the only option unless I want to get caught, so I need a potent liquid whose volatility will last through the night. Will Green Chili Pepper juice work or do I need something else?
 
ah yeah I wouldn't do this if I were you.If anything happens to him or he has some allergic reaction I sure wouldn't risk anything like that.
 
Wait, he spits on his pens as he chews on them? I wouldn't touch his pens, he probably uses them in other ways after work.
 
The smaller the pepper, the spicier it is.

On a serious note, why don't you just straight up tell him in his face and say stop it? He's just going to think you're a douchebag if you rig his pen.

Geez how did you get past the interview section if you can't even talk to people?
 
We have talked to him; that's the thing. His entire surrounding area has talked with him about it, not to mention his manager has actually asked him to stop. It's insane. He has no self-control over it.
 
claviertekky said:
The smaller the pepper, the spicier it is.

On a serious note, why don't you just straight up tell him in his face and say stop it? He's just going to think you're a douchebag if you rig his pen.

Geez how did you get past the interview section if you can't even talk to people?
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I'd think he's a douchebag if he asked me stop chewing my pen, and an asshole if he did anything to them.
 
JzeroT1437 said:
We have talked to him; that's the thing. His entire surrounding area has talked with him about it, not to mention his manager has actually asked him to stop. It's insane. He has no self-control over it.
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Then there's no harm or awkwardness in bringing it up again.
 
JzeroT1437 said:
We have talked to him; that's the thing. His entire surrounding area has talked with him about it, not to mention his manager has actually asked him to stop. It's insane. He has no self-control over it.
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And your next step is to handle it like a child?
 
JzeroT1437 said:
We have talked to him; that's the thing. His entire surrounding area has talked with him about it, not to mention his manager has actually asked him to stop. It's insane. He has no self-control over it.
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Is there HR or someone you can report work-related incidents every time it happens? If your work has a quarterly individual evaluation system, it would work out.
 
cwmartin said:
I'd think he's a douchebag if he asked me stop chewing my pen, and an asshole if he did anything to them.
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But if you continually chew on your pens, loudly, with slurping sounds, after your entire team and manager has asked you to stop several times, you'd be the douche.
 
My question is why do something so drastic and stupid, if your discovered as the one who did it your fired and he could press charges. Doesn't seem worth it.
 
You really should try sticking the pens up your ass, then he pretty much rim-jobbed you by proxy.

You are into some real passive aggressive shit, you do realize that what you are thinking of doing could have bad consequences? Getting fired, seriously hurting the guy, getting your dumb ass thrown in prison.
 
Okay, so I'm not going to legitimately cover the dude's pens in pepper juice. But what do I do to actually get him to stop it. The girl that sits across from him usually has him on a leash, smacking the table when he's doing it so he'll stop, but she got moved recently. I would do that, but I don't sit directly across from it. I guess I can just tell him to stop every time, but the guy does it pretty much all day.


Leunam said:
OP, don't you work at some law office or something?
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No, I used to. Now I work for Legal Media Company.



Now the guy is picking his nose and chewing on rolos.
 
wenis said:
This is building up to the next Gaborn thread...please do this OP.
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Shit, yeah! What's with all this lame old people advice?!? Use habaneros and shit on his desk as well!

Don't be a child and act like a goddamn adult. Talk to his Manager, then HR, if ignored.
 
Don't listen to responsible gaf, clearly you should go with habanero sauce mixed with wasabi and the hottest mexican hot sauce available near you. Make sure to get your manager in on this so that when it all goes down he catches it on video and uploads to youtube!


Just talk to him again and tell him how fucking disgusting it is.
 
ViolentP said:
Put the pen in your ass.
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No joke, one time this bitchy lady at work gave me shit for reading a book. First of all she isnt in my department nor has any power in the least bit over me, just another chick in a pants suit who thinks since she pushes paper and has an office she can run off at the mouth..

Pay back...well since I have access to 1000's of offices, court rooms, judges chambers etc... she was screwed
Basically, its the old Blue collar vs. white collar war and sadly I must say
"We cook your meals. We haul your trash. We connect your calls. We drive your ambulances. We guard you while you sleep. Do not fuck with us."

Lets just say this lady had a hell of a week...her AC/Heat might have been fucked up, the smells in the walls, the loss of incoming mail, loss of working outlets, and let us not even forget the fact that the mouth piece on her phone might have smelled like a mix of shit and ass crack sweat...
 
grannick-bitter-apple-spray.jpg


Works a trick getting dogs to stop chewing things ;)
 
Just be glad he doesn't smoke.

If he does that too, feel free to take him out back and shoot him. It's your civic duty. Don't mess around with pepper juice.
 
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