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[SSGMUN10000]

Is is it a good idea to message an ex after not speaking to her in 2 years. I was in love with her but shit went down the gutter and we just stopped talking out of the blue. Im the one who broke up with her but she was the cause of that. She is online right now and one side says to but the smart side says NO. It kinda feels like torture. If I did it would be like the weirdest conversation ever I bet.

 

[bishoptl]

Listen to the smart side. There's a reason why it's called the "smart" side.

 

[Ristamar]

It can't hurt, as long as you're civil. What's the worst that could happen? She blows you off? Big deal.

And, eh, I assume you meant "message"...

 

[Tazznum1]

Massage????

:lol

 

[LakeEarth]

Massage eh?

In my life, no. I wouldn't want to go through that shit again. Or any of that "being friends" bullshit. You know you don't want to hear any shit about her new boys or something.

 

[SSGMUN10000]

Massage????

:lol

Happy now.

 

[MrAngryFace]

I have a friend who got a message from her ex the other day. she didnt like it much.

I still call my ex from time to time around the holidays since we parted on good terms, but I can recognize when there's almost nothing 'there' anymore.

Its hard to be friends after experiencing something closer and it not working out.

 

[Azala]

Depends on what happened to end the relationship, where you want things to be now, and your comfort level with that.

I think it's very nice of you to want to send her a message.

 

[CavemanLawyer]

Here is my theory....

If you ended up somewhat bad terms, then of course you want to stay away for at least a month. After the month there is a period of about 2 or 3 months where you can try to get in touch with her and renew some sort of contact or friendship with her. But after about 5 or 6 months pass, I think it is better off just to leave her alone. Certain ideas about the relationship may have gotten skewed over time. Plus if you did love each other she probably tried very hard to get you out of her head. After you are out, I think it is best to think that she doesn't want anything to do with you for fear of having to repeat the cycle.

 

[Azala]

That is a very good point, she could very well still be sensitive to him. It really depends on their relationship.

 

[Dilbert]

If you want to say "hi" meaning "hello," probably not a problem.

If you want to say "hi" meaning "I want to take your underwear off with my teeth," that's probably a bad idea.

 

[J2 Cool]

NO.

 

[UtadaBarkley]

Hell nah, is you crazy boi? Leave her be. MOVE ON. Which means, completely 100%. No "hi's", no "how do ya do's", no "hey there's". Keep it moving. THIS WAY >>>>>>>>

 

[bjork]

I would, but that's me.

 

[Cubsfan23]

No

 

[Dan]

If you dumped her and you haven't spoken in two years... then fuck no, you shouldn't just pop out of the woodwork and approach her. I don't see that as wise.

 

[psycho_snake]

Depends what the women is like.

My friends were going out with each other but after a few months they broke up. They are in the same school and since we are a big group of friends they see seach other on weekends. They are very friendly with each other, as if they are best friends, but dont forget, they still talked to each other a lot after the breakup.

They are not the only friends that I now like this.

If you've not said anything in over two years, I cant see anything wrong with it, but since Ive never witnessed or experienced a gap like that before, my advise might be worng

 

[Incognito]

a girl that i dated for 9 months who dumped me(yes, friends, I was dumped...imagine that) IM'd me a few weeks ago for the first time in 6+ months. my "WTF DOES SHE WANT" meter broke and the conversation ended after my 3rd straight response consisting of no more than 4 words.

fucking women. plus, she has a BF right now. odd.

 

[Kenobi]

no. You shouldn't message her, however, if she does to you then don't be rude and talk to the lady.

Now if this was something like walking down the street and she bumps into you or something, then say hi or something...you don't just wanna blow her off.

 

[Azih]

Dude, delete her off your IM list. If she wants to message you she can, but I think you're better off not knowing if she's online or not at all. And hey if she's already deleted you then this will seal the deal.

 

[Tazznum1]

No good will come of it.

 

[Azala]

If you dumped her and you haven't spoken in two years... then fuck no, you shouldn't just pop out of the woodwork and approach her. I don't see that as wise.

It's worked out for me before, but the situation was probably very unique.

 

[Dan]

It's worked out for me before, but the situation was probably very unique.

Yeah, I mean, it could work out, but without contact in two full years, being the one who initiated the breakup, and then injecting yourself back into her mind... it's unlikely that would work nicely for both parties. I still talk to two of my former girlfriends, but we didn't cut contact like that and even still, with the earlier one I feel like it's taken 2+ years just to become good, intentionless friends. If I were on the receiving end of a random contact from someone who I really cared about and dumped me with a two year gap in interaction, well, it'd be hard for me to take that lightly or innocently.

 

[Incognito]

OMG

Speak of the devil. The girl I posted about above has just IM'd me again!

"Hi Stephen..."

WTF

 

[Jim Bowie]

No

Listen to this man! A bajillion dating-related posts CAN'T be wrong!

 

[SSGMUN10000]

Alright I havent contacted nor Im going too. She is off my list but I still sorta go to her profile and it shows she is online. If anything she should be the one contacting me after what she put me through.

 

[Neo_ZX]

Then why did you even create this thread?

Oops. Misread the above post. But still shoulda known from the get go.

 

[Incognito]

Well, mission failed, GAF. Just spent 50 minutes talking with the ex. Shit...

 

[Azih]

SSGMUN STRONG
Incongnito WEAK

 

[DCX]

I have a friend who got a message from her ex the other day. she didnt like it much.

I still call my ex from time to time around the holidays since we parted on good terms, but I can recognize when there's almost nothing 'there' anymore.

Its hard to be friends after experiencing something closer and it not working out.

very much so.

DCX

 

[XS+]

Is is it a good idea to message an ex after not speaking to her in 2 years. I was in love with her but shit went down the gutter and we just stopped talking out of the blue. Im the one who broke up with her but she was the cause of that. She is online right now and one side says to but the smart side says NO. It kinda feels like torture. If I did it would be like the weirdest conversation ever I bet.

Ask yourself why you want to say anything. It's been 2 years, she hasn't said anything to you, yet you're asking whether or not you should say something to her. Get over it.