Evil_Silver
Banned
No.
Is it wrong to look if someone is showing cleavage?
- Thread starter Bronetta
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hendersonhank
Member
The only time we tell people not to stare is when they are staring at someone unfortunate, because it might make them feel bad about themselves. Not someone making visible something they intend to appear attractive or striking.
I have to laugh at the notion that men should have to stumble through life constantly averting their eyes from everyone so they don't accidentally make someone uncomfortable by looking too long ("too long" being entirely up to the person being looked at, i.e., entirely unknowable to the one looking).
.Boo hoo, you mean you might have to think about your actions and context a little? Also, don't know where you're from, but I was taught staring at anybody was rude.
Socially acceptable? No. Within legal rights of a person to stare at a singular spot on a wall and not change the point of focus if or when a another person out of his/her own volition walks right into that point of focus? Yes. Picture this: I'm sitting down on a bench. I'm looking at the wall and thinking. I'm deep into my thoughts because I can't forget that fateful night that changed everything. I'm a mess and I need to get better so I'm thinking about a strategy. All this epic monologue is then interrupted by a lady and she is obviously frustrated about something. She goes on to ask if I could kindly not stare at her because it's creeping her out. I'm sure that the point on the wall that I had chosen as my point of focus was devoid of any organic life back when I started to look at it. This woman came into the picture somewhere along the way but I didn't "see" her. But this was more of an accident and not about me deciding to stare because it would be ok in my opinion. The lady in question actually understood my plight after I explained it to her and she even seemed a little embarassed afterwards and we parted our ways both laughing nervously.
I do get the impulse to look at cleavages but I was teased about getting caught looking by a few female classmates back in high school (humorously) and it made me super embarassed and self-conscious about it. Now I'm pretty good at not looking at all. I don't even give myself the allowed and accepted quick glance. Tha'ts a slippery slope for me so I avoid it altogether. The sweaty hunks of meat mean nothing to me... Until I get home and find their facebook profiles.
jk but not really
L4DANathan
Member
Talk? .....to women....?
Who do you think we are? Pitt? DiCaprio?
sankt-Antonio
Banned
I stare at breasts whenever i get the chance. Honestly, when people dress to impress I'll do my part.
ReturnOfTheRAT
Member
Dude twisting around. Not so smooth after all.
Edit:
OMG. sick bastard playing with himself.
Wiktor
Member
Not asking for it, but they kind of do have to accept people will look. If you do anything that might gather attention, no matter if it's sexy clothing or singing in the street, you also need to accept some people will give you that attention. That's just how society works and it won't change just because one single person wants to.
So if you wear something with cleavage you have to accept people will look at it. Staring for long periods of time is a bit different as it's considered rude, but there' isn't a strongly defined line between looking and staring, so it's not easy to judge
Cow Mengde
Banned
This thread is driving me crazy because I'm honestly trying to remember the last time I saw cleavage outside. I know it's freakin' cold now, but I don't remember any during the summer. I did remember this High School Girl with super short shorts where I got a good look at both her butt cheeks. She was walking with her parents too. At least I assume those are her parents.
Winterfang
Banned
Just wait till she uses her smartphone. Her eyes would be distracted and the screen will direct light directly to them, giving you a better view.
Nobody is saying it's wrong to look. I don't know why people keep retreating to this strawman. Most posters who are participating in this thread have made it clear that they don't think there's anything wrong with looking. These are the main points people are arguing against in this thread:
1) Don't stare. Staring is rude, period. We teach young children not to stare (and I don't recall any conditionals being tacked onto that, just a general "Sweetie, don't stare. It's rude.") Socially, this includes a woman's chest, regardless of how much you personally think she's "advertising."
2) Don't think you have the right to stare without judgement because of a decision you made about a woman's attire and what she must be trying to say with it.
3) Yes, it is very possible for a woman to wear something low-cut and/or form-fitting because she wants to for herself, and not because she wants men drooling all over her or for men's benefit at all.
I have a question for women. Clothing like low cut shirts that show a lot of cleavage or short shorts that basically have your ass hanging out. Is this stuff more comfortable than more conventional clothing? Do most women choose to wear very revealing clothing because they want to be very revealing or is it actually more comfortable? I ask because I've always found really tight or small clothing to be uncomfortable as a guy. I actually try to not glance at stuff like that, because I don't like having a dumb impulse like that. I don't think wearing revealing clothing means you have to be okay with being eye humped. I just wanted to know are there other reasons people wear sexy clothing besides to look sexy.
Rimon-hanit
Member
You can glance, just try not to stare and if you get caught well I would just own it with a compliment (general "you look nice" not "you got a great..." obviously).
speculawyer
Member
Depends on the type of shirt or bottoms. I hate, hate wearing anything with sleeves during the summer. Tank tops and A shirts are the easiest and cheapest choices, and they show a fair amount of cleavage. So yeah, I find them much more comfortable. Same with pants. Fuck wearing long pants in the summer. A skirt or shorts are so much more bearable.
Other reasons are liking the design of the shirt, etc. I thought that would be obvious but apparently not.
Zoe
Member
I feel like I'm being smothered if the neckline is too high. And when it gets hot I definitely want to let the girls breathe.
SkeptiMism
Member
We tell people not to stare regardless of who you are staring at. It doesn't matter if the person is good looking or bad looking. You don't stare. If you think good looking people like being stared at, I'd suggest to think it again and maybe actually talk to good looking people. Generally speaking nobody likes being stared at no matter how striking they intend to appear. Even if the person specifically wants to get looks, most likely he or she doesn't want to be stared at.
But again, there's nothing wrong with glancing. It's really not hard to stumble through life not staring at people. There's no need to wonder about "too long", because you just glance, as simple as that.
And yes, it's legally your right to stare, but that doesn't mean it's not wrong morally. You can do plenty of shit to people legally speaking. I remember that story of a gaffer who was 13 or 14 at the time of the events of the story, and some man drove by and very obviously checked her out and if I remember correctly, said something at the same. The gaffer was grossed out and it showed in her face. Then the man stopped his car and just told the gaffer that it's right to look and was angry at the gaffer for showing her dislike at it.
Like yeah, sure, it was his right legally speaking. Doesn't mean he wasn't a fucking piece of shit however.
Fine Ham Abounds
Member
The most important part of your question is that this is a co-worker. Staring at a co-worker like that is indefensible in a working environment. Perhaps her clothing is not appropriate for the work place either, I wouldn't know, but that still doesn't justify a lack of decorum.
If you were at a bar and she was coming on to you, sure, maybe. No one can teach you to recognize cues though.
And in response to some of the comments in here, the idea that anything about a woman that turns you on justifies any subsequent lack of self control you engage in simply because of evolved behavior is laughable. The same process of evolution resulted in another part of your body being specialized for pretty accurate prediction of the consequences of your actions and of empathizing with other human beings.
If you were at a bar and she was coming on to you, sure, maybe. No one can teach you to recognize cues though.
And in response to some of the comments in here, the idea that anything about a woman that turns you on justifies any subsequent lack of self control you engage in simply because of evolved behavior is laughable. The same process of evolution resulted in another part of your body being specialized for pretty accurate prediction of the consequences of your actions and of empathizing with other human beings.
spectral_method
Banned
I'll stare, if she has a problem then that's her fault. Ain't a crime to look, specially if the article of clothing is designed to show some sweater puppies off.
Wiktor
Member
In my experience women tend to dress sexy more often to cause jeleausy among other women than arrousal among men. Anectodal evidence of course.
Ain't a crime, but it's a douchey thing to do. Especially if you know your attention is making her uncomfortable and you do it anyway.
Genius-tier post. Thank you FHA (as always). (Sincerely)
Boom Boom Pow
Banned
perfectly fine to look at boobs as long as you don't keep your gaze beyond 0.5 seconds per boob
blame space
Banned
It's easy to not look at people.
Rest
All these years later I still chuckle at what a fucking moron that guy is.
Well whatever that is I don't need to watch it.
Lol, I didn't.
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