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[Marvel14]

Oh Boy

So Kotaku |edit :《contributor》 | editor in chief (f. Me) Patricia Hernandez just lost her shit claiming Miyamoto "accidentally" trolled everyone during the recent Nintendo direct.

First off, trolling is one of the most purposeful things people do. How does one do it accidentally and does that qualify as trolling?

Beyond that philosophical conundrum, Miyamoto's trolling is apparently having the gall to tease a big announcement by his very presence on screen and then going on to discuss small news tidbits on Super Nintendo Land, the Super Mario movie and the Pikmin mobile game.

He then has the nerve to remind folk the age of the Pikmin franchise - an ignomy Zelda and Mario have never had to suffer - as an intro to announcing Pikmin 4 which is apparently not big enough of a game to merit his presence. That is the troll. Let's of course ignore that Pikmin is his baby and he's been announcing new Pikmin titles for years.

We have reached the point in the Internet when the phrase "Non-article" needs to be a thing - a useless piece of writing telling us nothing, pretending to be newsworthy or insightful and only existing because somebody somewhere needs to produce content and some clicks.

Feel free to post your own examples of "Non articles" so we can point and shake our heads at them.

SMH

Shigeru Miyamoto Accidentally Trolled Everyone During The Big Nintendo Direct

Congrats, Pikmin fans, today's Nintendo Direct was everything you wanted

kotaku.com

Edit: and the tagline congratulating Pikmin fans has absolutely no relation to the title of the article.

 

[K' Dash]

Your first mistake was paying attention to anything that reads Kotaku.

 

[Banjo64]

The guy could walk onstage and take a fat shit and I’d still brainlessly applaud. The guy created Mario and Zelda for fucks sake. If he wants to do some passion projects like cinema, theme parks and Pikmin (yet another one of his creations) in later life, so be it.

 

[envyzeal]

Building up to the big announcement while announcing smaller stuff = trolling?

 

[Kuranghi]

Yeah, don't even go there and no one click on that link, everyone leave please:

 

[STARSBarry]

The guy could walk onstage and take a fat shit and I’d still brainlessly applaud.

 

[Robochobo]

Worst article ever made... Kotaku is the source... Yeah it checks out, for over a decade now.

 

[STARSBarry]

Sorry dude not even close, its not even the worst article she's personally written, might I present to you this...

Three Words I Said to the Man I Defeated in Gears of War That I'll Never Say Again

"I raped you."

kotaku.com

I still laugh rereading this on occasion

 

[tylrdiablos]

Add Kotaku to your Hosts file.

 

[digoutyoursoul]

I’m tempted to print it out just so I can wipe my arse with it

 

[PhoenixTank]

Your first mistake was paying attention to anything that reads Kotaku.

/thread

 

[spookyfish]

Yeah, well ... Kotaku, so ...

The suck is built-in.

 

[Thief1987]

Typical day at Kotaku

 

[Moneal]

Nope. https://www.gamedeveloper.com/business/-gamers-don-t-have-to-be-your-audience-gamers-are-over-

 

[StreetsofBeige]

Don’t forget gaffers that Kotaku was formed from Gawker. Same company.

So don’t expect in depth content. But if you like click bait articles written by freelancers sitting in their basement, you’ll love their articles.

 

[ManaByte]

So Kotaku

/thread

 

[SmokedMeat]

Kotaku’s a trash site. Why even give them the clicks?

 

[Black_Stride]

SHUT UP

 

[Kilau]

I’ve tried to convince the mods my trolling is accidental, no luck yet.

 

[Lady Jane]

I’ve acquired better writing skills than this author just by drafting company emails.

 

[Captain Toad]

The guy could walk onstage and take a fat shit and I’d still brainlessly applaud. The guy created Mario and Zelda for fucks sake. If he wants to do some passion projects like cinema, theme parks and Pikmin (yet another one of his creations) in later life, so be it.

I'd applaud any big wig getting up on stage and taking a fat shit. That takes guts.

 

[bender]

I'd applaud any big wig getting up on stage and taking a fat shit. That takes guts.

Taking a shit requires guts.

 

[ChazAshley]

Every Kotaku Thread

 

[El Muerto]

Kotaku is for entertainment purposes, like Fox News. Dont take it seriously as it's not real journalism.

Pokémon Scarlet And Violet’s Professors Are Uncomfortably Attractive

I can already anticipate seeing incredibly risque fanart of Sada and Turo

kotaku.com

I Bought A Genshin Impact Titty Mouse Pad, And I Love It

Zhongli’s badonkers are supporting my wrists as I edit this blog

kotaku.com

Oh No, My Sims Won’t Stop Having Sex

My sim Miranda, a chef, came home from work at 1 am. Her husband Marvin went outside to greet her. “Please,” I whispered at my game of The Sims. “Please don’t have sex right here.” My prayers fell on deaf ears. (NSFW warning!)

kotaku.com

Why Everyone's Horny For Hades

Hades is perhaps one of 2020’s games of the year. It’s an excellent roguelite, with an amazing story and addictive gameplay. But there’s another big reason why Hades is seeing such a massively positive response: Everyone is so friggin’ hot! Take main character Prince Zagreus, for example. I knew...

kotaku.com

I Can't Stop Spending Money On This Horrible Horny Dating Sim

Every time I open Instagram, I see three kinds of ads: hipster makeup, hipster clothes and corny-looking visual novels. It’s easy for me to resist the makeup and clothes, as I’m trying to downsize on both right now, but in a moment of weakness, I downloaded one of the visual novels last night...

kotaku.com

Pokémon Scarlet and Violet’s New Gym Leader Makes Fans Sexually Confused

Some Pokémon fanartists drew a very well-endowed Grusha before realizing that he’s a man

kotaku.com

 

[Edgelord79]

Sorry dude not even close, its not even the worst article she's personally written, might I present to you this...

Three Words I Said to the Man I Defeated in Gears of War That I'll Never Say Again

"I raped you."

kotaku.com

I still laugh rereading this on occasion

I’ll raise you.

https://kotaku.com/life-got-you-down-load-up-the-sims-4-and-open-a-semen-1835192163/amp

 

[kiphalfton]

Feel free to post your own examples of "Non articles" so we can point and shake our heads at them.

SMH

http://[URL]https://kotaku.com/nint...shigeru-miyamoto-twitch-switch-1849530215/amp

[/URL]

https://www.neogaf.com/threads/is-this-one-of-the-worst-videogame-articles-ever-published.1641628/

 

[Rival]

Saw Kotaku, immediately stopped reading.

 

[ZehDon]

If you insist on talking about them, can you at least include archive links to their pages so they don't get clicks from people's curiosity.

 

[Cattlyst]

This is the result of an industry driven by clicks. These writers have click quotas so they just make shit up for hate clicks. Vicious cycle and nobody wins.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

This is the result of an industry driven by clicks. These writers have click quotas so they just make shit up for hate clicks. Vicious cycle and nobody wins.

Exactly.

Traditional media like newspapers is an informative kind of medium. Yes, there's entertaining editorial and opinion pieces, but it's more about informing the masses what's going on. But for all the subjective content, it's still done in a professional way. Magazines are more for entertainment with big bright colours, tons of images, reviews etc....

You can only get so many sources focusing on informative articles, which the content becomes day old news if you dont get it right away. Their best clicked content is surely their hot take articles, since nobody seems to ever bring up their mainstream content that other sites match in info.

I peg them similar to The Toronto Sun. If you want more in depth and classy info, you read the G&M or National Post. For mainstream stuff Toronto Star. If you want to read opinion pieces, the daily cartoon making fun of someone with exaggerated looks, stare at The Sunshine Girl, and see junky stereo and car ads on every other page, you buy The Sun. It's such low quality content, even the ink from the paper gets on your fingers more than the other papers.

 

[MacReady13]

The guy could walk onstage and take a fat shit and I’d still brainlessly applaud. The guy created Mario and Zelda for fucks sake. If he wants to do some passion projects like cinema, theme parks and Pikmin (yet another one of his creations) in later life, so be it.

For mine he is for video games what Spielberg was for my generation of film. The guy is the greatest and if wants to come out and talk about stuff he's passionate about, then he's well and truly earned that right.

 

[nikos]

I honestly thought "well, it's kotaku" before I even clicked on the thread and there it is.

 

[Pejo]

Patricia Hernandez is one of the gifts that keep on giving, if you prefer gifts of absolutely batshit insane articles. When I saw her name in the OP, I knew instantly it was going to be trash.

 

[coffinbirth]

My sweet lord, she is still employed by them? LOL. She's like a worst gaming article machine.

 

[Rykan]

How did this thread even make it to 30 posts without mention of the single greatest article ever posted on Kotaku?

 

[StreetsofBeige]

My sweet lord, she is still employed by them? LOL. She's like a worst gaming article machine.

Most game writers seem to be freelancers selling their shitty articles they write for probably $60. To make a living they got to churn out endless content hoping the site (or sites) they work for upload it. I have a hard time believing many video game writers are on a good salary.

 

[Graciaus]

Why would anyone even go to that site? Nothing of value is there.

 

[AmuroChan]

I have a hard time believing many video game writers are on a good salary.

Makes sense since most of them are absolutely terrible.

 

[coffinbirth]

Most game writers seem to be freelancers selling their shitty articles they write for probably $60. To make a living they got to churn out endless content hoping the site (or sites) they work for upload it. I have a hard time believing many video game writers are on a good salary.

She might be now(no clue, don't go there anymore) but back when I was frequenting that shithole years ago, she was a main writer with an office in the NYC headquarters.

 

[hemo memo]

Kotaku puts more effort in their clickbait titles than the actual written words inside.

 

[StreetsofBeige]

She might be now(no clue, don't go there anymore) but back when I was frequenting that shithole years ago, she was a main writer with an office in the NYC headquarters.

Good god.

We’ll, for all you gaffers out there who can’t find a job and can churn out a hit piece every so often, get into video game editorials.

If her articles can get posted, any can.

I’ll even give any of you wannabe writers some topics to think about:

Are games sold at $69.99 meant to promote sex?

Is it fair to be blacklisted from game companies for spilling corporate secrets?

 

[GymWolf]

Imagine reading kotaku in 2022.

But this article is probably not even in their top 10 of shittiest articles.

 

[Barakov]

SHUT UP

Yup. Definitely drank the kool-aid.

 

[consoul]

Not that I'd want to defend anything Kotaku does, but I don't think the concept of accidental trolling is really a problem.

Calling it accidental acknowledges that it wasn't intentional. The audience could feel like they were trolled, even though Shigs didn't intend that.

I'm OK with the turn of phrase. The article itself didn't need to exist, but that's true of mostly everything on the internet.

 

[Filben]

When reading the OP title I knew it could only be Kotaku or Polygon.

 

[Damigos]

Kotaku is still a thing .. ?

 

[GymWolf]

SHUT UP

The journalist name is patricia hernandez, at least post the right pic and not a random dude ffs.

 

[Marvel14]

I’ll raise you.

https://kotaku.com/life-got-you-down-load-up-the-sims-4-and-open-a-semen-1835192163/amp

Kotaku is for entertainment purposes, like Fox News. Dont take it seriously as it's not real journalism.

Pokémon Scarlet And Violet’s Professors Are Uncomfortably Attractive

I can already anticipate seeing incredibly risque fanart of Sada and Turo

kotaku.com

I Bought A Genshin Impact Titty Mouse Pad, And I Love It

Zhongli’s badonkers are supporting my wrists as I edit this blog

kotaku.com

Oh No, My Sims Won’t Stop Having Sex

My sim Miranda, a chef, came home from work at 1 am. Her husband Marvin went outside to greet her. “Please,” I whispered at my game of The Sims. “Please don’t have sex right here.” My prayers fell on deaf ears. (NSFW warning!)

kotaku.com

Why Everyone's Horny For Hades

Hades is perhaps one of 2020’s games of the year. It’s an excellent roguelite, with an amazing story and addictive gameplay. But there’s another big reason why Hades is seeing such a massively positive response: Everyone is so friggin’ hot! Take main character Prince Zagreus, for example. I knew...

kotaku.com

I Can't Stop Spending Money On This Horrible Horny Dating Sim

Every time I open Instagram, I see three kinds of ads: hipster makeup, hipster clothes and corny-looking visual novels. It’s easy for me to resist the makeup and clothes, as I’m trying to downsize on both right now, but in a moment of weakness, I downloaded one of the visual novels last night...

kotaku.com

Pokémon Scarlet and Violet’s New Gym Leader Makes Fans Sexually Confused

Some Pokémon fanartists drew a very well-endowed Grusha before realizing that he’s a man

kotaku.com

Nah guys. These all read like personal blog posts that only your close friends would read. Not news, not very interesting or readable but not worthless clickbait pretending to be news insights either...

Still think that accidentally trolling Miyamoto wins.

 

[OZ9000]

The journalist name is patricia hernandez, at least post the right pic and not a random dude ffs.

It's Patrick Hernandez

 

[GymWolf]

It's Patrick Hernandez

Are you death naming her? Not cool brah.