• Hey Guest. Check out your NeoGAF Wrapped 2025 results here!

"It shrinks?" "Like a frightened turtle!"

Status
Not open for further replies.

Matlock

Banned
JERRY: Oh... You mean... shrinkage.
GEORGE: Yes. Significant shrinkage.
JERRY: So you feel you were short changed.
GEORGE: Yes! I mean, if she thinks that's me she's under a complete misapprehension.
JERRY: Well, so what's the difference?
GEORGE: What if she discusses it with Jane?
JERRY: Oh, she's not gonna tell Jane.
GEORGE: Couldn't you at least tell her about the shrinkage factor?
JERRY: No, I'm not gonna tell her about your shrinkage. Besides, I think women know about shrinkage.
GEORGE: How do women know about shrinkage?
JERRY: Isn't it common knowledge?

GEORGE & JERRY: (Elaine walking down the hall they notice her and wave her into the room) Elaine! Get! (She enters)

GEORGE: Do women know about shrinkage?
ELAINE: What do you mean, like laundry?
GEORGE: No.
JERRY: Like when a man goes swimming... afterwards...
ELAINE: It shrinks?
JERRY: Like a frightened turtle!
ELAINE: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

As an aside, what's the deal with ?
 
040727_14turtle.jpg
 
Just finished watching "The Shoes." What a great episode.

JERRY: I don't get this. I go out with this girl three times, she doesn't want to shake my hand - why's she kissing you?

KRAMER (realizing): Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that! Yes! I understand women. The snub is good, they love the snub!

GET A GOOD LOOK CONSTANZA??
 
PuertoRicanJuice said:
Just finished watching "The Shoes." What a great episode.

JERRY: I don't get this. I go out with this girl three times, she doesn't want to shake my hand - why's she kissing you?

KRAMER (realizing): Because I snubbed her. You see? Women, they like that! Yes! I understand women. The snub is good, they love the snub!

GET A GOOD LOOK CONSTANZA??

Just saw that one too.

ELAINE (to George): What do you mean, Gail? You don't think I can attract attention? You don't think I can put asses in the seats?

julia3rt.jpg
 
guess said:
Just saw that one too.

ELAINE (to George): What do you mean, Gail? You don't think I can attract attention? You don't think I can put asses in the seats?

julia3rt.jpg

Sooo hot in the end of that episode.
 
Julia is so fucking sexy.

I have so many favorite episodes of Seinfeld, I can't even think of all of them. Let's see...

The Contest - awesome, awesome!
The Chicken Roaster - Seinfeld and Kramer imitating each other, and Mr. Marbles :lol
The Merv Griffin Show - Kramer hosting his show, fucking hilarious
The Switch - the way we see George and Jerry working out their plan, best 5 minutes of TV EVER

Oh, forget it. Way more. Best TV show ever.
 
i love the parking space one, with everyone arguing about whether you ahve to pull in or back in to have the right of way. favorite exchange:

george: No you can't see my hat.
newman: oh c'mon, just a touch.
george: no-
newman: c'mon *touches* please?
george: FINE! TAKE THAT HAT I DONT CARE!
newman (crying and cringing): WHY ARE YOU YELLING? I'M ON YOUR SIDE!!!
 
This is hands down one of the funniest exchanges ever shown on tv

Kramer: Ohh yeah! You gave her a taste of medicine all right!
Jerry: Well i didn't want her to have an accident
George: What accident?
Kramer: Well after he heckled Toby she got so upset she ran outta the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinkie toe
George: That's unbeliveable!
Kramer: Yeah, then after the ambulance left i found the toe so i put it in a Cracker Jack box filled it with ice and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran?
Kramer: No, i jumped on the bus, I told the bus driver "I've got a toe here buddy, step on it!"
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun, well I knew any delays is going to cost her, her pinkie toe. So I got out of the seat and started walking towards him he says "Where do you think your going, Cracker Jack?" I said "Well i've got a little prize for you buddy." (fighting noises) Knocked him out cold!
George: How could you do that?!
Kramer: Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the bus driver is passed out from all the commotion, the bus is outta control! So I grab him by the collar take him out of the seat I get behind the wheel and now I'm driving the bus!
George: Your Batman.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah I am Batman. Then the mugger he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, you know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door ya know with my foot at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Kramer: Well people kept ringing the bell.
George: Wha-wha-what about the toe what happened to the toe?
Kramer: Well, (claps hands) I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
George: You did all this for a pinkie toe?
Kramer: Well it's a valuable appendage.


:lol :lol :lol :lol Simply awesome.
 
Kramer: Ohh yeah! You gave her a taste of medicine all right!
Jerry: Well i didn't want her to have an accident
George: What accident?
Kramer: Well after he heckled Toby she got so upset she ran outta the building and a street sweeper ran over her foot and severed her pinkie toe
George: That's unbeliveable!
Kramer: Yeah, then after the ambulance left i found the toe so i put it in a Cracker Jack box filled it with ice and took off for the hospital.
George: You ran?
Kramer: No, i jumped on the bus, I told the bus driver "I've got a toe here buddy, step on it!"
George: Holy cow!
Kramer: Yeah, yeah then all of a sudden this guy pulls out a gun, well I knew any delays is going to cost her, her pinkie toe. So I got out of the seat and started walking towards him he says "Where do you think your going, Cracker Jack?" I said "Well i've got a little prize for you buddy." (fighting noises) Knocked him out cold!
George: How could you do that?!
Kramer: Yeah, then everybody is screaming because the bus driver is passed out from all the commotion, the bus is outta control! So I grab him by the collar take him out of the seat I get behind the wheel and now I'm driving the bus!
George: Your Batman.
Kramer: Yeah, yeah I am Batman. Then the mugger he comes to and he starts choking me. So I'm fighting him off with one hand and I kept driving the bus with the other, you know. Then I managed to open up the door and I kicked him out the door ya know with my foot at the next stop.
Jerry: You kept making all the stops?
Kramer: Well people kept ringing the bell.
George: Wha-wha-what about the toe what happened to the toe?
Kramer: Well, (claps hands) I am happy to say that the little guy is back in place at the end of the line.
George: You did all this for a pinkie toe?
Kramer: Well it's a valuable appendage.

:lol :lol :lol Kramer was amazing in his delivery throughout the entire series. Just amazing. Hilarious writing too.
 
I think my favorite Seinfeld story of all time is "The Keys". It's the first one that had me in stitches, and it's one of the few I'll watch through if I happen to catch it on TV. Seinfeld was good times, I need to buy the DVDs one day.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom