Drizzlehell
Banned
I got a PS Vita the other day and it just so happened that I already owned the classic God of War collection on it. So in the interest testing out the handheld, I did the only right thing and put on God of War II.
Fuck me, I just can't get over how awesome this game is. It starts out with such an electrifying set piece that I can feel the sparks jumping between the hair on my balls every time I play it. Just in case you haven't played it or can't remember the details, this is what happens within the first 20 minutes of the game:
There's no way anyone could ever convince me that this isn't the pinnacle of gaming, and that some old scrote arguing with his whiny son is somehow a more fulfilling experience.
Fuck me, I just can't get over how awesome this game is. It starts out with such an electrifying set piece that I can feel the sparks jumping between the hair on my balls every time I play it. Just in case you haven't played it or can't remember the details, this is what happens within the first 20 minutes of the game:
- You witness the Spartan army rampaging through a city and slaughtering everyone, and one of your guys gives you a call to grab some brewskis and join in the fun
- You tell Athena to go fuck herself and insult the gods of Olympus
- You murder at least 200 helpless soldiers
- You have sex with two large-breasted women, and they both climax at the same time
- You kick the living shit out of reanimated Colossus of Rhodes and contribute to the wanton destruction of the city
- You get stabbed through the chest by Zeus with his giant penis-sword and die
- You then brush off a giant gaping wound in your chest like it was nothing and punch your way back to life
- And finally, you jump on a large Pegasus and tear a bunch of Griffin to shreds on your way to turn back time and kick Zeus' ass
There's no way anyone could ever convince me that this isn't the pinnacle of gaming, and that some old scrote arguing with his whiny son is somehow a more fulfilling experience.
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