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it's that time of the month - choice grouphug.us excerpts

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BuddyC

Member
My wife just called me at work to say some detective stopped by to speak with me. She has no idea what is going on and is freaking out. My life has officially been pushed over a cliff and am facing the prospect of prison, humiliation, and the loss of my family and home all because I could not resist the advances of this very precocious 14 year old girl. She came on to me, she looked around my house while the wife was out, and then she layed down on the bed and asked if I wanted to fuck her tight little body. It was mindblowing, and thought all was well until last night when her mom confronted me at the mailbox and started accusing me of raping her daughter. I denied it and her parting words were that I was going down. Looks like she was not lying.

I'm not going home tonight.

I will most likely commit suicide.

www.grouphug.us

go go go!
 

psycho_snake

I went to WAGs boutique and all I got was a sniff
Dude, some of those stories are really fucked:

"I was raped by my boyfriend when I was 12. He was 15. And it has scarred me for life. And I hate being touched."

I think I know this person
 

Killthee

helped a brotha out on multiple separate occasions!
once I pooped my sheets, and I woke up disgusted with myself but then I forgot about it. Then my boyfriend came over and I invited him up for some sex. Then he got all freaked out because my bed was fecal. I was like, so embarrassed.

Thats fucking disgusting...

I am 16 years old with 2 kids under 3. I'm preggo again and don't know how to tell my parents that I screwed 3 guys in 24 hours and this time I don't know who my baby's daddy is.

I see a Maury episode brewing!

One time, I pushed a person in a wheel chair into wet cement. It wasn't a really smart idea.

LOL

Once I tried to have sex with my grandmother's dog. She was a pretty white lab named Sweets who was barely over a year old at the time. I put the tip of my penis at her opening and tried to push in but it wouldn't work. When she got mad and tried to bite me I strangled her to death, and to hide it I put her body in the road and ran over it with my car as I left. My grandma died thinking someone ran over her favorite dog. :(

WTF!
 

Burger

Member
i tried to get the cat to eat maltone today and he didn't want to and it made him crazy and run away - i feel bad

One time, I pushed a person in a wheel chair into wet cement. It wasn't a really smart idea.

Always a fun read.

*Damn, beaten to the cement story.
 

miyuru

Member
Cement story was funny! Some of these are actually sort of sad, especially the first one, dude wants to commit suicide..? Maybe keep that kinda stuff out of this thread.
 

BuddyC

Member
A. In case you are wondering:

Yes, i just used you. I needed a place to live and you offered. "Paying the rent" was not bad. Sex was even kind of fun.

Yes, i cheated on you with 3 different women. Yes, the stripper you insulted and berated was one of them. She was a friend of mine and the weekend i was with my father i spent fucking her just as you though i did. Yes she was hotter than you, yes she was younger than you and yes she was better in bed than you.

Yes, I planed on leaving as soon as i graduated all along. I left early because i got a better offer from the the hot stripper chick. I did it the way i did to do maximum damage to you. I had the hot stripper chick pick me up just so the knife could be twisted by her. The day i came back for my stuff and you tried to get me to fuck you? She laughed at you for that. said it was common, desparate and predictable.

Yes, the pictures and the video tape you found AFTER i left were left for you to find. Even if they looked hidden and forgotten about. Hope you watched the tape. Told you she was hotter than you...

Yes, i planned to fuck up your life from day one. From the moment you started to try to worm your way into my life. My goal was to leave you a broken woman. To hurt you so bad that you would feel that there was no way out.

Want to know why? You started off by insulting me. Said things like "once a cheater always a cheater." and just flat out calling me and asshole. then you went and you laid down a challenge. "You could never hurt me worse than did. He was a real bastard that took advantage of me and hurt me. There is no way you could hurt me like that because i would be able to see it coming."

guess you were wrong bitch.

Wolf

:eek:
 
yo, this shit can't be real...

edit:

and this one is too good:

"I have a lot to confess.
I like to flash random women my cock. It feels so good when I get a response from the girl at the drive through jackn'thebox. There I am stroking it as she hands me an oreo shake and a small side of fries. She wasnt very convincing as, half laughing, she told me it was "wrong". One checkout lady just turned around to two co-workers behind her and said,"this kid has his dick out", with about as much enthusiasm as if I showed her a three dollar bill.
Its kind of ridiculus.
One time I got a little carried away and showed my cock to a fourteen yr old girl. She was numb to it - didnt stare, didnt say anything, hardly reacted at all except with this really wierd look on her face. Afterwards I realized she had probably heard about kidnapped little girls that got sexually molested or worse, and that the wierd look on her face was fear. I felt really bad about that one. I hope she realizes that I was comepletely harmless.
Ive thought things through a little more since that. "


and this one:

"sometimes during rush hour on the subway when i have to fart i hold it in until just before i get off then let it go while i'm stepping off the train."


priceless:

"the 1st time i ever fingered someone, was my 1st proper girlfreind.
we were sat in the dark, after i put my fingers in, i smelt them, and they smelt really nasty, like strong eggs.
but for some weird reason, i tried to put my finger in her mouth so she would suck it.
she closed her mouth and wouldnt let me, so i wiped my finger all under her nose.
this was 15 years ago but i still wonder if she thinks i'm a sicko,as she must have had some vaginal infection.but im just a normal guy. i have never told anyone that ever. thanks."
 

aoi tsuki

Member
i've tinkered with the idea of posting a confession, but i don't really feel the need to, and it would suck if the site owners had to release IPs of confessors to the authorities. The idea that the web and the internet as a whole is anonymous is such a joke.
 

Desperado

Member
I hide my snickers ice cream bars in a box of waffles in my freezer when my girlfriend comes over. Firstly, she could stand to lose 4-5 pounds. And, secondly and more importantly, I want these for myself! They cost $3.59 a box!

:lol classic
 

deadhorse32

Bad Art ™
My current boyfriend told me last night about this chick he and his mates all screwed at the same time. I know all of the guys involved and all are either married now or engaged to friends or even family of mine and I kinda of wish I didnt know this about them. The chick they screwed sounds like she was a prostitute coz I know they went around to her house a few times when they were drunk and wanted sex. The worst part is my bf told me how he was screwing her and one of the womans kids walked in and saw them going for it and he didnt say anything - I dont know what to think of my bf now and as much as I love him and know this is all in the past it kinda makes me sick that some lil kid watched him screw their mum - ugh its perverted!

O_O
 

Desperado

Member
back in grade school, i went to this kids birthday party. he had gotten one of those 'headmaster transformers' that require the head to be inserted for it to properly change.

I stole it. On his birthday.

haha...at least it was a transformer.
 

Prospero

Member
This site is insane.

i ordered a russian mail-in bride in september of 02 and i make her sleep with all my friends. she doesnt seem to like this but she knows she has no choice. im starting to feel guilty about this, but i have twice as many friends now as i did before

dammit no i am remembering bad things.

i was a manager, there was 4 managers, the 3 hated me becuase the knew i was stealing, and i was always late and mashed on drugs.

they had meetings without inviting me, so i used to piss in their milk, and feel good of the fact they thought they were being clever drinking tea and coffee with me no allowed in the room, when infact i was the clever one.

An old man also left his wallet on my till point in an old job. I stole the 120 pounds out of it, and threw his cards/photos ect down a drain outside. and spent the money on whisky and weed. he later phoned the shop , i answered, and he asked if a wallet had been handed in, i said no and "good luck"

also when i was a kid, i locked 2 other kids in the boot of my dads mini for 3 hours. then let them out.

i dont feel bad about any of the above, i've been fucked over a few times in my life, and karmas a bitch. thankyou
 

jenov4

Member
Sometimes it's not hard figuring out which ones are obiviously fake. But I've spent countless hours just reading through those confessions. Great time killer when you're bored at work or something. (sorta like the addictiveness of teh GAF!)
 

Guzim

Member
in movie theaters i have the biggest urge to kiss whoever is sitting next to me, no matter what gender they are. i've done it twice, and i got thrown out of the theater every time. stupid ragin hormones
I am scared to death of the undead and the like. I cannot play Resident Evil without getting nightmares. Actually, I haven't even played it. I'm too scared to actually play a second of it. I'm such a wimp.
:lol
 

human5892

Queen of Denmark
oh god paris hilton i cummed into my tele while i saw her on simple life 2 and my dick got stuck in a bottle. whats worst my english teacher came in and gave me an F! then he called me and idiot and a failure.
Laughing out fucking loud. This is the funniest thing I've ever read.

:english teacher walks in and sees the kid with his penis in a bottle as the Simple Life 2 plays:
"I'm giving you an F! You're an idiot and a failure!"
 
cheated on my girlfriend with her sister. And her brother. And her roommate. All at the same time. Then I told her about it one night a few years later while I was drunk. Then she got pissed off at ME... so I punched her in the jaw, gave her a black eye, keyed her car, and set her cat on fire. Then I laughed at her the next day. We never officially broke up.

LOL!

There is no way some of this stuff is for real. I bet more than half are just complete jokes.
 
137327183


I sleep naked....alot of people do. When i wake up, everyday i think it is going to be a great day. Then i look down and See it staring at me. My abnormaly small penis infected with HERPIES.


861168996


I live near a farmhouse and ever since i was small ive been allowed to go over and help feed the horses. Since i was about 12, theyv let me feed the horses without an adult. Im now 15 ,But for a while ive thought about touching the male horses' penises. In the last two weeks i have given a horse a hand job, and a different horse oral sex. I wish they werent so big or id like them to do me up the ass. Am i weird

311134170


there is this ugly girl at work but everytime i see her, i just want to eat her out and smell her feet. she has the sexiest toes. i would stuff all of them in my mouth. i also imagine pissing in her mouth everytime i take a piss at work. i wonder if her butthole smells.
 

Eminem

goddamit, Griese!
I waste all my time on the internet.

I like to steal things from people and then help them look for it.

I lie about having read books/seen movies/heard songs when I really haven't, just to sound cool.

i killed my hamster when i was a kid. i still hate myself for it. i kept throwing it in the air and i think it had a heart attack. it went all slow and stiff and shaking then died the next morning.

the simple ones are the best
 
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